Heaven

Chanyeol’s POV

In the hospital

How could you?

How could you just go when all I could do was to watch you leave?

How could you just leave me behind?

How could you be this cruel?

At least his heart was still beating.

Weakly.

But steadily.

Everything seemed to be doing ok. Not the best but at the very least sustaining. The only problem was he wasn't waking up. It had been about three hours since the doctors wheeled him out of the operating theatre and into a private hospital room. The moment I set eyes on him, my heart jolted as if a surge of electricity hit me like a lightning. So frighteningly pale, so deadly still, so emotionlessly asleep. I had left Jinhwan in the care of the capable nurses of the neonatal unit and rushed to the operating theatre when I got the news that the surgery had concluded. Hope had flooded all my senses as I watched the doors swing open and all came crashing down when I took that one look at him.

Dead?

No was the answer they gave me. But it took me an hour to completely believe that very answer. They told me to keep faith and have hope. I did. Hope, I mean. But what good did that do? He was still lying on the hospital bed, barely alive. There was no guarantee in hope, no certainty, no security. What was the point? The shallow consistent beeping of the heartrate machine was the only thing that was keeping me from losing it, the single thread to my sanity, the only real proof of him being anywhere close to living. So here I was, sitting by his side, grasping his hand in mine, talking and talking.

“I could talk all night just to hear you breathe. It’s funny how near you are and yet how far away you seem to be right now. I know I should be grateful, I know I should be thankful. That you are still alive and breathing. That Jinhwan is well and healthy.

But for once, just this once, can I be a little more selfish?

Just this once, can I ask for a little more?

Please, just this once, can I have things my way?

Can I just see those beautiful eyes of yours?

That’s all I’m asking for, Baek ah.

Please.

Just wake up.

Don’t leave me behind.

Pleas---”

I felt it.

Was that my imagination?

No, I truly felt it.

And that was when I truly understood. Hope was not about proving anything. Hope was not about waiting for results. Hope wasn't about the guarantee. It was about the possibility. It was about choosing to believe in just this one thing.

That love was bigger than any grim, bleak life threw at us.

His hand moved.

The tiniest of twitch of his index finger.

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Baekhyun’s POV

Am I dead?

Death must have carried me into a world where time and space seemed to vanish; it was a dreamlike existence where everything shifted as quickly as thoughts. Somehow I had a profound sense of being at a crossroads, some kind of turning point, somewhere between death and life...

If this was heaven, it was certainly not what I envisioned it to be. I wasn’t at peace; I didn’t feel calm. It was hard to describe what I was experiencing. The more apt description I could think of was a huge empty space filled with nothingness. It was just an empty place were there was no emotions or worries or anything. It was nice, but there was just nothing. There was a slight sense of warmth but that was it. And then I realised that I was starting to forget. Memories of my life became a blur; faces I had known in my life became sketchy, unclear impressions. But something was missing. Something important. Something big. Something I just couldn’t remember. Something I knew I shouldn’t be forgetting.

Wake up.

Yeol's voice.

Ah.

Now this must be heaven.

The feeling that I was missing something completely dissipated into thi---

Wait.

Yeol.

He's dead too?

Please.

There it was again. His voice. Yeol. The man I love. The father of my child. Every thing came flooding back. Memories of our trainees days together, him declaring us as a couple, our first kiss, our fights and reconciliations, our nights together, the pranks we played on other members, getting pregnant, our pregnancy, the birt---

The birth of our son.

Jinhwan.

Suddenly the emptiness was replaced with a heavy sense of longing. Now instead of a huge empty space, I was surrounded by molten lead, dragging me down further and further away from Yeol’s voice. I fought and struggled, pushing against the heaviness, trying to reach his voice. But all I could see was the blackest of black. I didn’t hear the voice again but clung on the memory of what I had just heard, replaying it in my head over and over again, just in case I forgot. I simply couldn’t die. Not when I had so much to live for. Not when I had finally achieved my dream of becoming a singer. Not when I found my soulmate. Not when I finally had a son.

“Baek?”

I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids and searched for the source of that voice. I was laying down, in a bed it seemed, and the room was bright. Light from the window reflected off the white walls, making me want to close my eyes again. But I had to see his face. Everythhing seemed blurry at first; I could only make out a foggy silhouette of a very tall person. But a couple of blinks later, I saw him.

His tear-stained, worried face.

His huge brown eyes staring tentatively at me.

I could feel the pressure of his hands gripping mind. I could see the disbelief in his eyes.

“Yeol.” My voice was rough and raspy from inactivity. “Hi.” I kept my eyes fixed on his face. I couldn’t look away. I watched as his bottom lip quivered and fresh tears filled his eyes. As tears streamed down his face like twin waterfalls, his lips curved up into a small smile.

“Hi sweetheart.”

And he leaned forward to envelope me in a tight bear hug.

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Kyungsoo’s POV

Baek’s recovery was fast and quick. His heart stopped for nine full minutes. Doctors fought for his life for two hours. He was in a coma for five. And yet he was back to the practice roon in two days. Doctors were fumbled by his speedy recovery but I knew that the reason was one as simple as love.

Love for Yeol.

Love for his son.

The look on his face when Yeol brought Jinhwan to him after he first woke up from his coma was priceless. The unadulterated love on his face was one I could identify with. “He has your ears” was the first thing he said to Yeol as he stared at the precious baby.

Being a preemie baby, JinHwan had finally made it home a day after Baek was discharged and we carefully introduced the twins to him. Needless to say, our boys were as welcoming as year old toddlers could be, screaming and squealing at the newborn baby. Yeol and Baek had been trying their hardest to adjust to parenthood, evident from the eyebags forming under their eyes. Despite the lack of sleep and the stress that came with being a parent, the splendid grin on their face never left their faces. Now that we were back to active promotions, Yeol’s mom and sister had volunteered to care for Jinhwan and help out Jongin’s mom with the twins when we were away. So the only time they manage to spend some time with their son was at night after a long day of promotions. Jongin and I had agreed to help them as best as we could but at the same time give them the space they needed to grow and learn as parents. But JinHwan was one fussy baby, keeping us all up late into the night with his cries. I ended up helping them in every way I could. Althoug I knew Jongin didn’t approve, I just couldn’t help it. Least to say, the new baby had taken up a lot of our time.

When we were out on promotions, Yeol stuck close to Baek, always watching, always making sure. None of us quite believed his recovery. We were very thankful and relieved, don’t get me wrong. It was just that the whole ordeal was just like one huge terrible nightmare that none of us wanted to go through again. We were at an age where we had yet to contemplate death and to be so close to it was way too traumatising. I couldn’t sleep in the days following Jinhwan’s birth, often crying and seeking solace in Jongin’s arms out of pure worry for Baek’s life. I guessed none of us really got over the ordeal, constantly keeping a lookout on Baek. But Baek, well, he was one remarkable guy. How he fought against all odds still amazed me. Here we were at the Gangname Hallyu Festival, performing as if nothing as major as Baek dying had happened.

I found myself constantly seeking Baek out, always checking to see if he was alright. Even on stage, I would place my hand on his shoulder and literally ask him if he was feeling alright. I couldn’t help it. I was worried. I am worried.

As we just finished performing growl, I felt something swept across the top of my head. Turning around, I came face to face with Jongin who was trying to return the cap to my head. His face was solemn and serious, lacking the usual smile that lit up his face every time our eyes met.

Instantly I knew.

He felt neglected.

I hadn’t had the chance to spend much time with him with the twins and helping out with the new baby. I knew he didn’t approve of me helping out that much but I also knew that he understood why I was doing so. And by not forcing me to stop he was respecting my decisions and choices. But in no means did he like it. Instantly, I felt guilty. But at the same time, I found it awfully cute the way he was upset but unwilling to show that he was. So when it came to performing 3.6.5, I went up to him to dance with him. You should have seen the grin that immediately spread across his face. It was absolutely blinding. He was smiling so hard that his eyes were nearly shut into crescent slits. His entire face was lit up in a split second from when he saw me and that made my heart swell. This kid. The way a little attention set him on a high showed how much he loved me. The way he looked at me like I was the best thing on earth showed how important I was to him.

Now it was my turn.

My turn to show him how important he was.

The perfect opportunity arose when we sat down for an interview for SK telecom after our performance at the Gangnam Hallyu Festival. As I stood behind Jongin for the interview, I rested both my hands on his shoulders as I waited. Well, it was safe to say that Jongin had a fetsh with my . He loved, and I mean absoluted loved, smacking my . He always sneaked up behind me to give me a tight slap on my . He even did it when we were on the red carpet at the Busan Film Festival. Since he was obsessed with my , I thought I could , right in front of the camera where he couldn’t act inappropriately.

Soon the time came and I purposefully stood directly in his line of sight.

And danced, wriggling my right in front of him.

Ha.

As I returned to my position behind him, I sneaked a glance. That cheeky little ert had his eyes following me with that same huge grin plastered on his face! And here I was, thinking that I was teasing him and giving him a hard time controlling his emotions on camera. Heck, he wasn’t even making an effort to control his face! Gosh, I wouldn’t even want to imagine the kind of dirty thoughts that were running through his head at that moment but I guess I could safely say that tonight was going to be one hot and steamy night.

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A/N: HI SUBBIES! ^^

Aren't I a nice author? HAHAHAHA! I would never kill of any EXO members (not in this fic at least) so rest assured, won't be making you guys cry any time soon. Have never experienced death or a near-death experience *knock on wood* so I tried my best writing Baek's perspective but I apologise for the awful awful writing...

Next chapter will be on Baekyeol and the new baby so wait for it~

As of now, I have some pictures for you guys ^^

Gangnam Hallyu Festival

Kyungsoo checking on Baek