Her Feelings

To Love is The Hardest Thing To Do

 

Kibum can we still be friends?" Yoona said.
Kibum's heart shattered once more.
He can't take this anymore.
Before Yoona could speak, He already stand up and reached for the door.
When he opened it, he saw the group eavesdropping including JaeJin.

Yoona's eyes widened. "I thought SeoHyun and Hongki already left? and then they are just listening to us?" She thought.

"They planned for this" Kibum thought.

Just then he run going outside.

Because of that, the group's face fell down.

"Yoona" Yuri said.

Yoona is now crying. She stand up and run away as well.

"Oh no, what are we going to do now?" Yuri sighed.
-----------------------------

"Kibum ah" Yoona shouted.

Ignoring her, he just walked faster.

"Kibum ah mianhe!" She shouted.

Kibum stopped for a moment, and Yoona walk unto him.

"If I hurt you, I am sorry" Yoona said.

"You win, Okay, I forgive you, so just leave me alone" Kibum continued walking.

Yoona still followed him as she speak.

"Kibum ah, What can I do to make you forgive me!"

"I already tell you, I forgive you"

"But your words are out of what you really feel" Yoona insisted.

"What's your problem!" Kibum shouted as he faced Yoona.

"It's you who is my problem!" Yoona shouted.

Kibum didn't speak and let her say what she wanted to say.

"What do you want? To get on my knees, wrap my arms around your legs and bawl like a baby? Is that what you want?!" Yoona shouted.

"You don't need to do anything" Kibum said.

But Yoona insisted that she really get on her knees, wrapped her arms around his legs and cried.

"Are you crazy?" Kibum smirked.

"Even if I look crazy, If this is the way you can forgive me"

"Tell me one reason why you are doing this" Kibum asked.

"Because I" Yoona said.

"Because I"

Anticipating for an answer, Kibum's heart started to beat faster.

"Because I swear, I really missed you and I want to make it up to you" Yoona said.

Kibum sighed. Maybe he is expecting another answer just like the words "I love you" or even "I like You" but It's not.

"Get up"

Yoona did as he told her to do so.

"Kibum ah may I ask you a question?" Yoona asked.

Kibum didn't reply but Yoona still asked. "Do you still love me?"

"You need a rest, go home now, I'll call Yuri" Kibum said.

"Kibum ah Do you still love me?" Yoona asked.

"Or you already like another girl?" Yoona added.

"Why are you asking that?" Kibum said.

"Because I-"

"If you will just tell me you are sorry, then I'll just leave"

"You told me you already forgive me, but why are you avoiding me this time?" Yoona shouted.

"Why don't we be as close as before? Why don't we be friends again? I don't want to have a gap between us, just like Kibum and Yoona before!"

"We can't" Kibum answered quickly "We can't Yoona, We can't bring back the old Kibum and Yoona because everything changed now" Kibum said.

"But why?" Yoona asked.

"Because I don't want to be your friend anymore" Kibum said.

"What?" Yoona asked who is getting teary-eyed.

"After I've shown and let you feel what I really feel for you, and after I've said what I really wanted to say, Do you think we can still stay as friends? I can't offer you just friendship right now, because I want to treat you more than that, I've loved you as a girl whom I wanted to love forever, not as a sister or even as a friend, Don't you get that? We can't be the same old Kibum and Yoona hanging around as best friends for all of their lives!" Kibum said.

"So it means you still do love me" Yoona said.

Kibum remained quiet.
He just realized that he had answered the question which he tries to avoid.

"Or are you tired of loving me?"

Kibum still didn't answer.

"So it means you already forgotten about me?"

"I think you are just really tired from the flight" Kibum said "Go and have a rest"

"So it means, you already liked another girl?"

"I'll just call Yuri to come here and bring you home"

"Answer me!"

"So what if I am already falling for another girl? What is it to you? When did you care about my feelings? About what I feel? You don't care right?" Kibum said.

"I do care!" Yoona said.

"Why? Why do you care so much? Because of what? That I am your bestfriend? Tell me the reason why, the best reason about what you feel" Kibum said.

Since Yoona cannot answer again, Kibum left her behind.
He doesn't want to do that, but still he really needs to.

"I don't want to lose our friendship like this" Yoona said.

"I'll do anything just to bring back the things we used to do, I'll do anything to make it up to you" Yoona added.

Yoona hugged him from behind.
She is now crying not wanting to let go of him.

But still Kibum pushed her slightly and run.

Again, just like the past repeating itself.
It's just like the scene when Yoona left him all alone.
But in their case, Yoona is now being left alone.
--------------------------------------------

It's been days and Kibum is still not talking to her.
They are now just close to strangers.
But Yoona is doing hard to make him forgive her, even just to bring back the friendship that she is used to.
It's a big lost to her.
Just like a very big part of her is gone.
Just like half of her body is not working.
Just like half of her life is dead.

Why did things turned up like that?

She is not used to it.
It's just like a routine, and she misses something.
Yoona is now mused upon the new situation.

Walking slowly, she entered the class.
She sat on her chair, and she looked at the chair beside her.

She smiled as she saw Kibum walking going to his seat which is the chair beside Yoona,
But Kibum just passed by as if he saw nothing.
That made Yoona feel bad.

"Hi Kibumshhii" A girl said.

For an instance, Yoona doesn't know her yet.

"Hi Ara" Kibum greeted.

Yoona stayed still and remained quiet.
There is still a gap between them, which she really hates the most.
She is never used to it; Kibum never do this to her.
But what happened to the best friends forever? Is it all gone forever?
Will they just end up their friendship with just a dot?

"Pass all your papers to the aisle then in front" The teacher said.

Yoona is on the aisle, while Kibum and Ara is on her left side.
When Kibum passed the paper to Yoona, she noticed that the ring isn't in his finger anymore.

"He removed it? He is not wearing it?" Yoona thought.

The ring is their friendship ring, more like a couple ring.
But she was surprised when she found out that he is not wearing it anymore.

*krriinngg*
The teacher leave the room for it is already their lunch time.

"I'll invite him to go with me" Yoona thought.

"Ki-"

When she was about to speak, her voice was covered with the voice of Ara.

"Kibumshii, Let's eat lunch together, are you free?" Ara asked.

Yoona is waiting for his response to Ara.

Kibum nodded. "Okay, sure" He said.

She felt bad again.
She expects that Kibum will go with her.
What's happening to him?-She thought.

She is now alone in the room when she noticed that Kibum just left his wallet in his chair.
She reached for it, and opened it.
Just then, instead of their picture, the picture that is in there is Kibum and Ara's picture.
She felt so heavy again. Why is she feeling this way?

The door opened and she realized that Kibum is on the door.
She quickly placed back the wallet and stand up.

"You left your wallet" Yoona said coldly as she passed by him.

Kibum looked at her facial expression, and she looks so sad.
Because of that he also feels worried.

----------------------------------------

Yoona just eat sandwich alone in one corner.

"Yoona!" Jiyong greeted.

"Oh, Jiyongshii" Yoona smiled.

"Why are you alone in this corner?" Jiyong asked as he sat beside her but Yoona didn't answer.

"Oh, Yuri said that you went to America, and condolence" Jiyong said.

Yoona just nodded.

"Why are you sad? Tell me, is this about a boy? C'mmon tell me" Jiyong said.

"A sort of" Yoona chuckled.

"Yah, why did I saw Kibum with my cousin? He is your best friend right?" Jiyong asked.

"Ara is your cousin?" Yoona asked "Neh, so why? You must be with him right?"

"How about me? I am also with another guy" Yoona chuckled.

"Oh, yeah" Jiyong chuckled as well. "But I heard he already conf-"

"Enough, I think you already know the story" Yoona said as she sighed.

"But why did you do that?" Jiyong asked.

"Well I am confused on that time, so confused that my mind cannot think clearly and as if my head is so blocked that I can't say what I really wanted to" Yoona replied.

"Confused? confused about what? confused about your feelings?"

"I don't know" Yoona said.

"So meaning, you have feelings for him?" Jiyong asked.

"I don't know"

"Try to figure out what you really feel, I think slowly, you are now realizing that you really love him" Jiyong said.

"Me loving him? H-"

Yoona was interrupted by her thoughts.
What Jiyong have said gave a very great impact on her.
Subconciously, she is now thinking of the answers.

Jiyong and Yoona said goodbye to one another and proceed to their next classes.
It's Tuesday, so Yoona and Kibum have the same schedules.

When she just go to the music room, the door is half opened.
She looked inside and saw Kibum and Ara.
They are the only ones inside the room.

"Kibumshiii, Is the wrong to like someone?" Ara asked.

"What's wrong about that?" Kibum smiled.

"How about if I like you?" Ara said straightly.

"You like me?" Kibum said as he was surprised.

"Kibumshii, joahaeyo" Ara hugged him slightly.

Just then, Kibum also hugged her back.
But when his eyes met the door, he saw Yoona standing there, who's head is bowed and she hesitates to enter the room.
When Yoona noticed Kibum looking at him when their eyes met, She closed the door and walk away.

Kibum can't hold it anymore.
He doesn't want to see her sad.
He can't act or pretend right now as if she is just the wind that passed by, because he knows that Yoona really needs him.

"Ara, I will just go somewhere" Kibum broke the hug and go outside, who tends to follow Yoona.

"Yoona" Kibum grabbed her hands that made her stop from walking.

"Kibumshiii" Yoona said still her back facing him.

"Yoona, about what you see it's nothing just r-"

Yoona pulled away her hands and get something out of her fingers.
She faced him and said "I can't take this anymore"

Yoona gave back the ring to him.
Kibum is now surprised.

"I don't deserve that" Yoona said "There is someone better than me that can take care of you and can gave back all the love you are giving"

"Why are you acting so strange? I mean why are you giving this back? Yoona this is yours and t-"

"That thing is useless now since this thing it's not important to you" Yoona said pertaining to Kibum's ring that he is not wearing.

"What a-"

"It's now awkward, It's now useless, and this didn't make sense, Even if I try to make it up to you, I think there is someone better that already replaced me. Even if I want to take back our friendship, this isn't work" Yoona said.

"What are you saying? I can't get your point"

"Because I know we can't bring back the things we are used to" Yoona said.

"Bwoh? what?"

"Because I can't give you only friendship right now"

"What?"

"I don't want to be your friend anymore"

"Again?"

"What if I tell you I have feelings for you, what will you do?"

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kishiejae
I would appreciate your votes my dear readers :* I love you all! >:)

Comments

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IheartKwonYuri #1
Chapter 69: Update pleaseeee
baesuzysbae
#2
AUTHORNIM I LOVE IT!
lizbsol
#3
Chapter 69: I am imagining something, but I am gonna wait for the update
il0stmymind
#4
omo yoona!
nikawaii #5
Chapter 69: I'm curious! I'll be patiently waiting for an update!!
Clairence_0724 #6
Chapter 69: Finally unnie! I've been really waiting for your update! I'm really curious on what the next chapter will be! I hope you'll update soon! I'm so excited! :">
iloveyul #7
Chapter 68: thanks for updated ^^
kyaaa Yulhae is back...^^
Jaejin please wake up ^^
lyhae910303
#8
Chapter 67: after such a long time, you finally updated!! \(^.^)/

been waiting for this new chap!! g03x update more chaps!this story is really great.
sujusone24 #9
Chapter 67: What's going to happen next?! Update soon getting so intense
iloveyul #10
Chapter 67: thanks for updated :-)

omg so sad T.T hope jaejin n hae will be alright.