I was an idiot. Not just any type of idiot, an idiot with a ing capital I. Himchan and I had gone back to the lake on the second day of our mini vacation like we had said we would and we were playing around and eventually we both ended up in the water and I reached into my pocket out of instinct and the box with the ring wasn't there. The engagement ring I had bought for my boyfriend wasn't ing there. And I panicked.

"What's wrong?" Himchan must have noticed my terrified expression and it seemed to rub off on him because his eyes were wide as well and his expression was anxious on the verge of frantic. I released the grip I had had on his waist and started searching through the water. Fortunately it was clear enough for me to see the bottom of the lake. "Yongguk, what's going on?"

"I dropped something," I vaguely explained myself, eyes darting across the lake floor. I was such an idiot. I shouldn't have brought the ring with me in the first place when I knew we were going to the lake. I was so stupid.

"Well, what did you drop? I'll help you find it." He looked down into the water as if he was trying to help me search and that was when it hit me. I froze on the spot and turned to stare at him. He couldn't know. I couldn't tell him.

"I can't tell you," I voiced my thoughts.

He furrowed his brow. "What? Why?" I cursed under my breath as I went back to searching, but didn't give him an answer because to be honest I had no idea what to say to him. "Yongguk, wh-?"

"I just can't, okay?" I cut him off.

I didn't have to look at him to know that he was offended by my snappy response. "Fine." I heard the sound of him walking through the water towards the shore. I still didn't look at him. "If you're going to be that way, I'm going to go back to the cabin. Have fun out here on your own." I could tell that he was pissed, but I had no idea how to fix that. So I let him walk away.

I searched for hours on end. Even after the sun had gone down and it was too dark for me to see anything and I was shivering because the night air was so cold I continued to look for that small box. If I had used my own money to buy the ring it would have been one thing. Of course I would have been upset that I had lost it, but I would have managed. It wasn't my own money, though. It was Himchan's father's and I had already felt bad about using his money in the first place, but wasting it like this made my stomach turn. I felt horrible.

"." I cursed out loud when I stubbed my toe on a rock for the umpteenth time and I felt the frustration threaten to overwhelm me. With a shuddering sigh I ran a hand through my hair that was still damp and just as cold as the water I was waist-deep in. I felt like giving up.

"Yongguk?" I turned my head in the direction of the sound and saw Himchan was standing on the shore. He was dressed in dry clothes now and a look of concern had taken over his features. "Why are you still out here? It's almost eleven, you've been here for hours." I mumbled something about having to find what I had lost as I continued to search through the water, which made my boyfriend let out a heavy sigh. "Look, I don't know what you're looking for, but no matter what it is I'm pretty sure it's not something worth getting pneumonia over so please come back with me. Please?"

I cast a look at the dark water before me and then looked at Himchan who was holding a large towel. I let out a sigh of defeat. "Alright," I mumbled. I waded through the water until I reached him and he wrapped the towel around me, rubbing my arms through the soft terrycloth.

"You're freezing," he muttered and let out a curse. He rarely cursed. "I shouldn't have left you out here. I should have come to get you sooner." I didn't say anything. My teeth were clattering too much for that. "The minute we get back you're getting in the shower, young man." If I had been any less dejected I would have made a comment on how he sounded like a mother, but instead of doing that I just allowed him to pull me with him.

Once we were back at the cabin he dragged me to the bathroom and pushed me into the shower with all my clothes on and he took off his own before joining me. He stripped me little by little until I was completely and then he held me until I was warm much like I had done with him months earlier. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Chan-ah," I mumbled into his neck.

"For what?"

I didn't answer that, I just shook my head. "You make me feel so weak," I said instead.

He pulled back so he could look at me and cupped my face with his hands. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Guk-ah." He pressed our lips together. "I'll still love you even if you're not. You can be whatever you want in front of me, I'll love you no matter what. I love you." He seemed a bit surprised when I kissed him, but it didn't take long for him to kiss me back.

We exited the shower and dried off and Himchan told me to go to bed while he hung up my wet clothes. He crawled under the covers with me afterwards and curled up to my side with his head on my chest and his arms wrapped around me and one of his legs slung over mine as if he was afraid I would leave if he didn't hold on to me properly.

For a long time we were both quiet, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Just being able to be with him was enough to make me happy. I walked my fingers up the arm that was draped over my torso. "I love you, Chan-ah." I kissed the top of his head and smiled softly when I looked down at him and realized that he had fallen asleep already. "I really, really love you."

When I looked through my bag the following day for clean clothes to wear after my morning shower I was somewhat surprised at first to find the ring box there stuffed into a pair of my socks. Then I remembered that I had left it in my bag on purpose the day before because I was afraid I would lose it if I brought it with me to the lake. I felt like punching someone in the throat.

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A/N: I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. this is disgusting. that is all. I have nothing else to say about this chapter. now if you'll excuse me I'm just going to crawl back into my cave of shame and never come out again. leave pretty comments and waipeu will send them to me via carrier pigeons, yeah?