My hands were shaking as I pushed open the door to the coffee shop where we had agreed to meet up. I quickly scanned the place and it didn't take long for my eyes to land on the male who was sitting alone in a booth in a corner of the cafe, looking out the window. Himchan. My heart began to race. He looked at little skinnier and a little paler than I was used to and the dark circles under his eyes told me that he hadn't been sleeping well. Despite all of this he was every bit as beautiful as I remembered.

I took a deep breath. Then my feet carried me across the floor until I was standing right next to the table. He didn't seem to notice me until I cleared my throat. "Hello," I muttered.

He stood up abruptly, eyes wide. "H-hi." There was an awkwardly long amount of time where I just kind of stood there because I wasn't sure how to greet him. I didn't know what would be appropriate in our situation. Should I hug him? Shake his hand? Bow? Eventually he gestured towards the seat across from him and I sat down. "I hope you don't mind that I ordered for you, I... I kind of assumed that you wanted what you usually have."

"It's fine," I assured him. For a long time none of us said anything. Even the waitress eyed us with  a slight frown when she brought us our order. She probably thought it was weird that we didn't talk to each other at all. I had to admit it was rather uncomfortable. "H-how are you?" I asked after a while, mostly to break the silence but also because I was curious. I still worried about his well-being.

He shrugged. He wasn't looking at me, only at his cup as he stirred his coffee. "Fine, I guess. How's your little boyfriend?"

I cringed at his hostile tone and let out a heavy sigh. "Chan-ah..." The glower he shot me made me pause. "Himchan," I corrected myself. "He's not my boyfriend." He rolled his eyes, but he didn't interrupt me, so I continued: "The boy didn't have any lunch and I felt sorry for him so I bought him food a couple of times. I never touched him, it was never like that."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh." He relaxed his shoulders and averted his gaze. "Then... I'm sorry, I guess."

"I would never do something like that to you, Chan-ah," I muttered. "I would never cheat. I love you. More than anything." I reached out to place my hand on top of his, which was placed on top of the table, but he pulled it away before I could do so.

"Don't," he whispered. I could sense the oncoming tears in the way his voice trembled. "Just... just don't." The moment the first tear dripped onto the table top I got up and slid into the booth to sit next to him instead. He didn't try to shove me away when I pulled him into my arms. His hands fisted in my shirt and his face was buried in my chest and I held him close as he cried.

More than once I had to stop myself from taking Himchan's hand and intertwining our fingers as we strolled along the sidewalk after we had left the coffee shop together. Before the fight it would have been so natural for me to do something like that, which just made it even harder for me not to do it now. "So you've been with your parents the whole time?" I confirmed. I had been wondering about his whereabouts while we were separated so I asked. When he told me he lived with his parents I immediately felt bad. There was a reason why he hadn't had any contact with them for four years.

He nodded solemnly. "They've been fighting a lot," he murmured. I knew he blamed himself for all of their fights. He always did.

"It's not your fault, you know."

"They fight because of me," he spat. "Of course it's my fault." When he was like that I knew there was no way of convincing him otherwise, so I didn't even try.

Instead I changed the subject. "You've lost weight?"

"A few kilos," he mumbled, pressing a hand to his flat stomach. "I... haven't really been able to eat well in the past few weeks. Is it that obvious?"

"I noticed that your ribs stood out a bit more than usual when we had the other night." I didn't have to look at his grimace to know that I probably shouldn't have said that. I swallowed thickly. "S-sorry about being so rough, by the way." He just shook his head without looking at me. His red ears betrayed his embarrassment.

I wanted to talk more now that I finally had the chance to actually speak to Himchan, but I didn't know what to say. It was hard for me not to act like we were a couple when I was still so much in love with him, but we were broken up and even though I wanted to touch him and hold him and kiss him as if nothing had ever changed between us I couldn't just do that. "I should probably go home," he muttered. "My mother is cooking for us. She doesn't like it when I'm late." I offered to take him home. He didn't decline.

We walked in silence for most of the way. Nearly all the things I wanted to say consisted of how much I missed him and how much I loved him and variations of the two. It took a lot in me to not just blurt it out, but I felt like that would just make things more awkward.

In the end I couldn't take it anymore, though. "This is stupid," I exclaimed. Himchan looked at me, clearly confused, and I elaborated: "This whole fighting-thing. It's stupid. We're obviously both miserable and I don't want to do this anymore. Let's just get back together." We had come to a stop, standing in front of his parents' building at this point.

He sighed. "We can't just get back together, Yongguk. It's not that easy. I... I don't want to get hurt again." I stared at him. He stared at the ground. For a long time none of us spoke. I wasn't sure what to do. He inhaled sharply. "Let's start over," he suggested. "Let's take it slow. I want this to work, so... I want to give it another chance. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, nodding. A chance was better than nothing. It was the first time in weeks that I had seen him smile and it made my heart flutter as if I was a schoolgirl in love. He told me to text him when I got home. I promised that I would. I didn't begin the walk back to my own apartment before I was sure Himchan was safely inside.

*****

A/N: and since it's now that time of the week again here's another update for you guysss.
so... they're starting over. and they're not fighting anymore. that's a good thing, right? :D
they have to go back to the beginning and do it all over again. it'll be nice. and cute. and
most likely fluffy. yeah. I have nothing else to say.
we'll see you all after the weekend. stay awesome, okay? bye~