"What do you think?" My brother asked me. I didn't want to leave. I grew up in California but I have my life here in Seoul now. But as I think about it, it's for the best right?

"I'll go" I looked up to four faces that were looking at me. I decided to leave. It's not that I minded what people thought about me. Being a teen and a mother at the same time in Korea, I knew all the looks and whisperings I would be getting. But I don't care about that. They could judge me all they want, but I thought about Junhyung. If I want to keep our baby from him a secret, I would have to go far away where he won't see me. It might look like selfishness that I'm keeping his child away from him, but I've thought about it. If he knew he had a kid, he won't have a choice but to quit. If the public finds out, they'll judge him and eventually he'll have to quit as well. I don't want him looking at me and our kid and regret not contuining his dream.

Me leaving the country might be a stupid decision and it will all backfire to me in the future, but it seems to be the right thing to do at the moment. I swear he'll know. I'll tell him myself. Not just now.

-----

Eunbi's sleeping over and Seunghyun oppa left. I made them promise not to tell anyone about this. It's pretty late but I'm packing right now. "Do you have to leave tomorow?" Eunbi asked me. I nodded to her and and walked to my closet to grab all the clothes I needed. "Can't leave like in two days or something?" Eunbi wants me stay a few days, but I want to leave as soon as I can.

The house is quiet and everyone's asleep, except me of course. I can't sleep, so I got up very slowly so I won't wake up the sleeping Eunbi next to me. I walked to the bathroom and closed the door. My hand unknowingly went to my belly and I started to rub it. "My baby" I faintly smiled. Then tears just flowed down my cheeks. I sat on the floor crying. I'm leaving tomorrow. Everything is finally sinking in to me. I'm having a baby. I'm leaving the country. Junhyung won't know he has a kid. I'm raising my baby alone. What am I suppose to do? All these thoughts are running through my head and I can't help but to sob.

If it's not enough that the man I love is not with me anymore, I have to keep our baby to myself. I can feel my heart ripping apart and hear it breaking. "I'm sorry Junhyung oppa. I'll raise our baby well so when you see her/him, they'll be as great as you."

-----

Junhyung's pov

"Alright kids, it's pretty late. Go to sleep and rest. You've got a long day tomorrow" our manager left after dropping us home.

"Hyung, so what's the plan for tomorrow" Yoseob asked our leader. "Tomorrow we have practice dummy. SBS was kind enough to give us time to practice on the actual stage before our debut" Doojoon explained. Tomorrow, well technically today since it's already one in the morning, will be our last practice. The next day is our debut. Finally, I'm debuting. After thousands of competitions and hundreds of auditions, I'm finally having a chance to stand on stage infront of millions of people.

I'm finally living my dream. I just wished Hyunae was here beside me to experience it together.

-----

This is it Hyunae. I walked inside the airport with Eunbi holding my hand and my parents beside me. "We already informed your Aunt that you're coming. You'll be staying with her for a while until your father and I go there" my mom informed me. Seunghyun oppa couldn't come send me off since he's busy for their comeback tomorrow. But we already said our goodbyes last night and this morning on the phone.

"I can't believe you're leaving me!" Eunbi threw a tantrum and I just laughed at her. "Yah! You can come and see me whenver you want" I hugged her. "Don't forget to give that bag to Seunghyun oppa, arasso?"

"Now be good, Hyunae alright? Don't give your aunt a hard time. Take care of yourself and the little one alright?"

"Your father and I will be there in a couple of months. After we take care of some stuff here, we'll come okay?"

I heard my flight being called in the intercom and bid my farewell. I looked back one more time and waved to the people that are sending me off.

I fasten my seatbelt and looked out the window. The plane had successfully took off the runway and we are getting higher and higher. I looked out the window and stared down at the scenery that I won't be seeing for a long time.

"Goodbye Korea, be good to my oppa and best friend... Be good to my Junhyung" I traced his name on the window and a tear managed to escape my eye.

5/16/12