Winter's POV

Three weeks na from the time na nakalabas ako ng hospital. First time ko ulit umalis ng condo ngayon but too bad it is only for check up. We went to two doctor's appointment today and I had to attend the Cognitive Rehabilitation Therapy. Kailangan ko din bumalik after two weeks dahil based sa sinabi nung neurologist ko, possible malaman kung pwede ng tanggalin yung feeding tube na kinabit nila sakin.

Nakatingin ako sa labas dahil parang namiss ko talaga to."It's very convenient na ang lapit lang ng hospital sa place natin Pup. You don't get tired." Comment ni Rina habang pauwi na kami sa condo."Yeah buti nalang sobrang lapit less than fifteen minutes lang." Nakita ko na yung entrance ng basement."Uuwi na tayo kagad?"

"Yes and we are here. Let's wait for ate Dahyun." Magkatabi kami sa backseat ni Karina at nasa unahan naman si ate Dahyun. Kaya ko naman sumakay and bumaba mag isa sa kotse although kailangan talagang ingatan yung ulo ko para hindi ako maumpog. "Winter wag ka muna gumalaw, hintayin ko lang na ma-open yung likod." Nakaabang na si ate Dahyun sa rear at hinihintay niya na ibaba ng driver yung wheel chair from the trunk. Bumaba na din sa kotse si Karina at nakapwesto na siya sa side ko. "Watch your head." Pag labas ko ng pinto agad niyang hinarangan yung ulo ko gamit yung kamay niya at inalalayan niya ako paupo sa wheel chair. Siya din yung nagtulak habang hawak naman ni ate Dahyun yung mga gamit na dala namin.

"Ano kailangan gawin ni Winter today ate Dahyun?" Tanong ni Rina kay ate habang nag aabang kami dito sa elevator lobby. "She's done with the activities, she has to rest." Saktong pagbukas ng pinto ng elevator, may lumabas na babae na nilalaro laro pa yung susi. Nakatingin siya samin ng matagal at napapangiti siya nung sinisilip niya kami habang sumasara na yung pinto ng elevator."Rina did you see her, the girl?!"

"Pup si ano yun, yung next door neighbor mo dati sa condo. What's her name? Oh my god I forgot about her na."

"Classmate ni Yeji, si Yena! Naalala ko siya grabe sobrang bait niya."

"Wow you are so good naalala mo pa. Your memory is getting sharp na Winter."

"Babe you think she lives here?"

"I don't know pwede pero parang ngayon lang natin siya nakita dito noh?"

"We'll find out when we see her again next time. You should tell Yeji about this."

We have reached our floor. Pinauna kami ni ate Dahyun palabas sa elevator at dumiretso na kaming tatlo sa unit. "Winter kailangan mo mag pahinga after mo magpalit ng damit. Nagugutom ka ba?"

"No ate, I'm fine parang busog pa ako dun sa nilagay mo kanina." Nilapag na niya yung mga gamit ko at pinasok na niya yung iba sa kwarto. "Ate I'm gonna take Winter to the room na, magpahinga ka muna." Bumalik si ate Dahyun dito sa living room at chneck niya muna ako. "Winter remember ha, no computer, tv and phones. You are doing good sundin mo lang lagi yung sinasabi ng doctors mo. Matulog ka ngayon, alas dos palang naman." Kinuhaan niya muna ako ng bp at tinignan niya din yung oxygen level ko. "Bakit chcneck mo nanaman ate?"

"Lagi ko naman ginagawa to kasama to sa sinabi ng doctors before ka umuwi. Kailangan bantayan kung nagkaka . You are safe. Okay na Rina magpahinga na muna kayo."

"Okay ate, thank you." Tinulak ni Rina yung wheel chair hanggang makarating na kami sa kwarto. Bumalik na kami sa master's bedroom, nag decide kami two weeks ago na dito na ulit kami matutulog dalawa.

"Pup wait lang I'm gonna change my clothes kasi galing tayo sa hospital."Paalam sakin ni Rina. Iniwan niya ako dito sa bedroom, nakatigil yung wheel chair dito mismo sa tapat ng entrance way ng walk in closet.

"Rina matagal ka pa?" Inaabangan ko siyang matapos. Iniwas ko kagad yung tingin ko dahil nakita ko na nagtanggal na pala ng damit si Karina, hindi ko sinadya nung napatingin ako. "Here are your clothes bibihisan na kita."

"Okay thank y- ano ba yan Rina!!"Nagulat ako sa nakatayo sa harap ko.

"What? Why are you yelling? Ang ingay mo Pup baka marinig ka ni ate Dahyun isipin niya may nangyayari sayo."

"Babe mag tshirt ka nga ano ba yan, naka underwear ka lang tapos lumabas ka na dito, baka pumasok siya bigla."

"Bakit ba Winter we are here in our bedroom and I locked the door after we got in. Ganito naman yung normal natin why are you getting so worked up? Are you starting to feel something?"

"Huh? Are you crazy? Wala noh."

"Okay then you have to relax. Here palit ka na ng damit mo. I will take your shirt off kailangan mo na magbihis galing tayo sa hospital."

"Teka nga, pwede ba mag damit ka muna bago mo tanggalin yung clothes ko? Please lang."

"Bakit ba? There's no difference, you take this off."

"Baby please mag damit ka muna bago mo tanggalin yun damit ko."

"Are you getting in heat when you see na parehas tayo walang clothes? You cannot resist, can you? You don't have to Winter, pwede naman."

"Tangina Karina."

"What? Are you tempted?"

"Karina alam mo hindi ka nakakatulong. You know that we cannot do that, we are not together anymore. Tsaka bawal ako sa ganyan."

"Oo na sige na nga baka mag seizure ka pag hindi mo napigilan, I will wear my clothes muna, you wait for me then I will change yours."

"Dalian mo na nga, nag iikot ka pa dito ng naka ganyan eh. Lalamigin ka mag damit ka na!"

"Yeah whatever you say Pup. Don't act as if you don't like what you see."

"Rina tumigil ka na nga, dalian mo na."

Grabe biglang nag init yung muka tsaka tenga ko dahil sa pinag gagawa tsaka pinagsasabi nito ni Karina. I think kailangan ko mag breathing exercise para mawala sa isip ko yung bad and unwanted thoughts. Hindi pwede to dahil baka bigla akong ma-comatose pag may ginawa kaming bawal.

Lumabas na si Rina from the walk in closet. Kinuha na din niya yung damit ko na ipinatong niya kanina sa kama."I'll open the buttons of your shirt, there you can see that I am asking for your consent." Sumimangot ako sakanya pero ngumiti siya sa pabalik sakin. Isa isa na niyang tinatanggal yung buttons ng shirt ko bago niya inalis yung tape ng feeding tube."I'll hold it nalang Rina tapos iaabot ko nalang sayo para ishoot mo sa shirt ko." Sinuot niya sakin yung shirt at dahan dahan niya inilabas yung tube. "Just the tape and then we are good, pajama is next. See we're still a good team Pup." Sinuot na niya yung pajama at tinulungan niya akong tumayo. "You stay on the bed muna you have to rest. Let's sleep."

"Rina did you hear what the doctor said about using phones?" I reminded her. Alam ko na narinig niya to kanina dahil sila ni ate Dahyun yung kinakausap nung doctor. "Yes and I am sure you heard it too." Inayos ni Rina yung mga unan at pinahiga niya ako sa kama. "What did he say Pup?"

"He said that I am allowed to use it."

"Hey! Hahaha you are lying that's not what he said. Sinabi niya na bawal pa din but malalaman nila after you do the other scans."

"Overall yung sinasabi nila nagiging okay naman ba, like am I improving or ganun pa din tsaka mabagal?"

"Yes you are and nope it's not mabagal, you have a quick progress. I think it's because you are being very cooperative and I am so thankful na si ate Dahyun yung nagaalaga sayo. Yung care plan niya inapprove ng doctors mo. I told you she knows what she is doing."

"Oo nga eh she's a big help. Buti nalang nakukuha sa medicine yung drooling, sobrang bihira na mangyari."

"Natuwa yung doctors mo because you are talking so clearly now, you can even answer the memory remediation activities kanina. May mga hindi ka pa ba maalala?"

"Yeah yung recent, I'm still fogged when it comes to my recent memories. Bakit ganun yung mismong memories sa last two months before the accident yung nabura? Ang alam ko lang and yung naalala ko palagi ko kasama si Somi and Gigi. Yung memories nung January hindi naapektuhan."

"They told me about it kung bakit kayo magkakasama lagi. I am really sorry that you had to go through that because of me. January was the worst. I'm so sorry."

"Tapos na yun hayaan mo na. Babe I have a question pala, ito napansin ko lang and wag ka sana maooffend or what."

"Okay what is it?"

"Every time tinatanong kita about what happened to you after namin umuwi ni Giselle from New York, bakit hindi mo ako masagot?"

"Uh ayaw ko kasi pag usapan, I mean I choose not to remember yung mga nangyari nun especially with what happened in the office. Hindi ko pa kaya sabihin. I cannot forgive myself every time naaalala ko yung scene. I let it happened."

"Sorry pinaalala ko pa, hayaan mo na nga. Wag na natin pag usapan. Come here giant baby, come closer." I pulled her by the arm at yumakap kagad siya sakin. Nakahiga na kaming dalawa dito sa kama, buti nalang walang work si Rina ngayon at makakapag pahinga siya. "Pup I want to say something to you."

"Sige, ano yun?"

"In time when you've totally recovered and I have the guts to do it, sasabihin ko naman talaga lahat ng nangyari satin. I hope you can still wait for me."

"Yeah of course, I am willing to listen to you, hindi naman kita minamadali tsaka alam ko naman na may reason ka."

"I'm sorry kasi yun yung hindi ko nabigay sayo before, hindi kita kinausap ng maayos and I pushed you away. Nagkamali ako, that's actually my biggest regret in life. I am just so thankful because you gave me another chance, I am so lucky."

"Well grabe nga yung pinagdaanan natin but, it's just one mishap. Dba lagi ko sinasabi sayo yun, mas madami tayong magagandang memories that can overcome what happened. Basta we just need time to get better, alone."

"Yeah, I am amazed with how you are being very optimistic. I am so grateful for you."

"I feel the same." She came closer to me and she hugged me so tight. "I love you."

"Rina here's the thing, what should I answer you pag sinasabi mo yan?" When she heard the question, she got up and she looked straight into my eyes."You really don't have to answer I am just letting you know." I just smiled upon hearing what she said. "Pup can I hug you?" I nodded my head, I pulled her closer towards me and I kissed her on the shoulder. "Bakit nagpapaalam ka pa, kanina pa nga tayo magka hug."

"Consent. But can I kiss you?" I nodded once again. She was softly caressing my face at mas nilalapit niya yung muka niya sakin. "Sa cheek lang pwede Karina." She was just looking at me and I noticed that she was pouting."What?" I asked her. She kept on staring. Kinuha ko yung kamay niya and I kissed the back of her hand. "Bakit sa cheeks and sa hands lang pwede?"

"Ano ka ba hindi pwede sa lips I have my tube matatamaan mo."

"So if they take out the tube pwede na?"

"Teka lang, bakit ba may kiss kiss pa eh wala na nga tayo? Pano tayo makakapag move on kung may intimacy? Ang labo mo."

"Some friends do kiss Winter. Let's stop doing it kapag nakapag move on na tayo."

"Friends don't kiss on the lips tsaka ano yun, mag sstop tayo mag kiss pag naka move on na tayo? It doesn't work like that ang gulo mo talaga."

"Then we are an exception. Hahahaha I'm kidding. Oo na hindi na, hugs and kiss on the cheek are more than enough."

"Keep it in your pants Karina." Tumawa siya nung marinig niya yung sinabi ko,akala ko titigil na siya pero bigla siyang umangat at hinalikan niya ako ng madaming beses sa muka ko. "Really I'll keep it in my pants?" Nagpatuloy lang siya sa ginagawa niya at niyayakap niya ako. "I love you, I like your scent sobrang namiss ko to Pup. I miss my snail puppy."

"Grabe lagay na to hindi na tayo. Ang labo natin sobra."

"Yeah I know, it's because we are weird like that. Pabayaan mo na because we will reach a point that we have to separate, kaya susulitin ko na to."

"Rina stop sniffing, you are like a dog."

"Namiss ko talaga yung scent mo eh, you smell like a baby." She kept sniffing my face and my neck."Rina stop stop my tube mahahatak na babe!"

"Oh sorry. I forgot. Okay ka lang?"

"Dapat isama ka nung mga doctors sa bawal eh, parang kung pano nila pinagbabawal yung phones."

"Are you saying that you are not allowed to use me because you are addicted to me?"

"Use you? Oh my god ang bastos mo."

"Hey that's not what I mean, mali yung wordings ko Pup. Hahahaha. It's not like that."

"Whatever you say. May itatanong dapat ako sayo but I forgot, you know tama yung doctor I should start making a list. Kailan ba maaayos yung pagiging makakalimutin ko mawawala pa ba to?" 

"Sabi nila you have to do it little by little mag iimprove naman daw but huwag mo madaliin and yes making a list can help. What do you want to ask me?"

"Uhm I am looking for something pero hindi ko maalala kung ano."

"Is that the journal? Ate Taeyeon said that she will update me later today. Yun ba yung hinahanap mo?"

"No other than the journal, I'm looking for something else that I think I left here or at home. Hindi ko lang talaga maisip kung ano pero meron."

"Isn't that the kit, handcuffs?"

"Babe ang gago mo. Handcuffs really? Iba na yung naalala ko sa handcuffs. You know about this, it is far from being but it is still related to you."

"Oh sorry I am sorry Winter, that was so insensitive of me."

"Kung ano ano kasi sinasabi mo eh, dito ka na nga wag ka magulo. Humiga ka na ang gulo mo eh." Umayos na siya sa pwesto niya and she rested her head on my chest. "I'm really sorry that was so insensitive." 

"Okay lang wag ka nalang magulo. About the thing hindi ko kasi maisip kung ano yun pero may naiwan ata ako dito sa condo nung time na kinuha ko na yung mga gamit ko."

"Your art materials ba or books? Yung clothes mo walang natira dito."

"No, hindi ko nga maisip eh but I know it is important to me."

"Speaking of, the first time I came back here with ate Irene and Gigi, we've found some boxes. Why did you do that and I had no idea. Bakit hindi mo manlang sinabi sakin yun?"

"Yung ano ba?"

"I saw the box of magazines, our first issue to be exact. Why did you do that, bakit ang dami mo binili?"

"Huh? Nakita mo? saan?"

"There in the walk in closet we saw a box full of magazines. Why did you do that Pup? Sinabi nila sakin na binigyan mo daw ng copy lahat ng kakilala mo pati yung relatives and friends natin, even my parents. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh yun ba. Eh kasi hindi mo naman kailangan malaman."

"Sobrang na-move ako when they told me what you did. Bakit hindi mo manlang sinabi sakin na ganun yung ginagawa mo?"

"Hindi na nga kasi kailangan and I just felt so proud because it was the first magazine that you were the editor in chief kaya bumili ako ng madami, tapos yun pinamigay ko sa lahat ng pwede. Sobrang proud ako Karina, isang buwan ko ata bnbrag yun sa mga kakilala ko." Naguusap kami pero nagtago bigla yung kausap ko at sumiksik nanaman siya sa leeg ko. "Hey! Rina yung tube ko what are you doing?" Pinipilit ko siyang iangat pero nagtatago pa din siya. "Babe ano ginagawa mo you are like a leech bakit hindi kita maangat? I cannot see your face, where are you?!" hindi pa din siya nagpapakita sakin kaya hinawakan ko na yung muka niya. "Oh my gosh you are crying nanaman. Karina umayos ka nga bakit ba ang giant baby mo ngayon araw na to?"

*sobbing* "I hate it Winter, you are very supportive of me but I chose to hurt you."

"Jusko ito nanaman po tayo, stop crying na nga. Makita ka pa ni ate Dahyun eh para kang bata Karina. Enough na."

*sobbing* "I'm really sorry. Sorry sa ginagawa ko sayo during those months. I'm sorry for breaking you."

*sobbing* "You gave your all to be the best girlfriend but I still ruined you."

"Rina ayan ka nanaman ano ba yan! Tumigil ka na nga alam mo isa nalang talaga, ipapa-ban na kita dun sa doctor."

"Hahaha bakit ba Winter totoo naman eh. The things you've done for me grabe, you almost gave me everything. Lahat ng support na kailangan ko, binigay mo sakin and nafeel ko yun."

"Oh ngayon naman tumatawa ka na. Stop na, nag usap na nga tayo dba, na-settle na natin yan. Tsaka deserve mo naman yun, and gusto ko talaga suportahan ka."

"Nakakainis ka I'm serious. You are the best partner Pup, no one can ever replace you."

"Ganun ka din naman walang tatapat sayo. Mahirap humanap ng kapalit mo."

"What did you say?"

"I said walang tatapat sayo and no one could ever replace you."

"Ulol crush mo nga si Chaewon akala mo I don't notice? Kinikilig ka pag nag uusap kayo."

"Tinawag mo akong ulol?! Ano yan barkada na ba kita or best friend? para ka na bang sila Ryujin?"

"Hahahaha stop. Pero totoo naman you like her and I can see it."

"Babe para kang gago. Ikaw naman din yung pumapayag na mag punta siya dito. Hindi ko siya crush, konti lang. Pero ikaw pa din yung favorite person ko."

"You are such an Winter. Chaewon told me na sinabi mo din sakanya yan nung nasa roof deck daw kayo dun sa hotel. Yung sinasabi mo sakin sinabi mo na din kay Chaewon."

"What? When was that? yan ata yung ikkwento niya palang sakin. Sinabi ko sakanya yun? But you know that you are my favorite."

"Of course galit ka sakin because of what happened and you have the right to be mad at me and she was the one who was there for you, I understand why you told her she is your favorite."

"Ang labo, maaalala ko din siguro yan pag nakwento na niya."

"Pup when Giselle and I went here may napulot siya sa bathroom natin, I mean it's okay kung ayaw mo tanggapin