Winter's POV

7:30am Friday Road Trip to Batangas

Kami yung pinaka unang umalis sa farm ngayon umaga. Sila Ate, Mommy and Chaewon mamaya pa sila mag ttravel pabalik sa Manila. Sobrang nag enjoy kami sa stay namin sa Quezon, pinaka masaya nung nagpunta kami sa ilog kasama sila ate, first time na ma-experience ni Yooji maligo sa ganun kaya tuwang tuwa siya. 

Next week magiging hectic yung schedule namin since uuwi na kami sa New York next Sunday. Lulubos lubusin na namin yung time na kasama yung mga friends namin dahil matatagalan nanaman bago kami makabalik dito. There will be a party at Giselle's, sayang nga lang kasi hindi na kami nakumpleto, well ganun naman talaga, may kanya kanyang career and buhay na kasi. But at least we always keep in touch at close pa din kaming lahat kahit pa sa iba't ibang lugar na kami nakatira. Gaya nga ng laging sinasabi ni Ryujin, buti nalang talaga nasulit namin yung oras.

Maaga kaming umalis dahil meron pa kaming kailangan daanan ni Karina bago dumiretso sa Batangas. We will be meeting with the broker and one of the investors for the potential beach property. This is for the hotel business na balak kong iopen in two years time. Ngayon palang namin makikita sa personal yung lugar, pero nagustuhan nila mom and ate yung location nung pinakita ko sakanila yung map and the copy of the title. Accessible for utilities and it's workable, isama pa dun na yung magandang beach kaya mataas yung potential niya for a leisure development. Nagkaron na ako ng initial study with the site considerations but I will be doing another one when we go back home, tsaka gusto ko din kasi siguraduhin kung feasible ba and I want to know the market competition in this area. Isa pa sa pinaka cnconsider ko ay yung value ng lupa bago namin bilhin.

Nakaupo kami ni Yooji dito sa back seat at si Karina ngayon yung nagddrive. Dalawang oras yung biyahe namin from the farm. Sigurado maiinip yung baby namin kaya tinabihan ko siya dito sa likod, she was sitting on her car seat pero inalis ko muna dahil mas nakakainip yun kapag nandun siya.

Inalis ko yung belt at kinakandong ko nalang siya para mas makagalaw siya ng maayos, well kanina pala yun dahil ngayon nakaupo siya dito sa tabi ko at nagmamaktol. Dun sa dalawang oras na nasa daan kami, parang ilan beses na din kaming napagalitan ni Karina. Ang sungit niya, nagagalit siya kasi kanina pa kami nag haharutan ni Yooji dito sa likod. Nakikipag play fight sakin yung baby namin. Nung una biruan lang, nakikipag paluan siya kaya nung pinatulan ko umiyak at nag sumbong sa mama niya. Parehas tuloy kaming nasabon at nasigawan. Walang nagsasalita samin ngayon dito dahil nakakatakot si Karina, nag banta siya na iiwan daw niya kami pareho sa daan.

Kinalabit ko yung batang nakaupo dito sa tabi ko pero hindi siya tumingin. Kinalabit ko ulit at nag iba ako ng tingin. Nakikita ko sa peripheral ko na nakatingin na din siya sakin at nakangiti. Pag harap ko sakanya natawa ako sa itsura niya, naka nganga siya at nag ppretend na may nginunguya. "Hahahaha what are you doing?" bulong ko sakanya. Hinihinaan ko yung boses ko dahil ang sungit ng driver namin. "I'm eating air" binuhat ko na siya at pinaupo ko sa lap ko. "Mommy I want beach." bumulong siya pero ang lakas ng boses kaya napalingon samin si Karina.

"Later when we get to lolo's beach house we will swim and we are going to fish for sharks, stingrays and giant squids."

"You're gonna catch a shark mommy?" nagkkwentuhan na kami habang buhat ko siya dito sa lap ko. Bati na ulit kami ni Yooji, hindi na din siya napipikon sakin kahit pa nagpaluan kami kanina ng pabiro at umiyak siya. "Yes! I'm gonna catch a shark with my barehands and we're gonna bite it like this!" umakto ako na kakagatin ko yung kamay niya. "Hahahaha you can?" tanong niya sakin, "of course I can, and you can do it too."

"Are we there yet?" she looked outside the window starting to get bored. "Babe, are we there yet daw. Our kid is asking you." inulit ko yung sinabi ni Yooji dahil parang hindi ata narinig ni Karina. It's either hindi niya narinig or ayaw niya kaming pansinin dahil tatlong beses na siyang nagalit simula nung umalis kami dun sa farm. "Baby? my giant baby?" hindi pa din talaga kumikibo si Karina, hindi manlang siya sumasagot at mukang mainit pa din yung ulo niya.

"Yooji, can you please repeat your question so that mama can hear." she looked at me habang nakasandal na yung ulo niya sakin. "What did you say to me a while ago baby? You can ask mama."

"Are we there yet!!" sigaw niya and she giggled right after. "Hahahahaha. Are we there yet!" pag ulit ko sa sinabi niya. "Yooji at the count of three, why don't we say it together? One two three!!! Are we there yet?!" "Are we there yet!" sigaw ni Yooji and she's giggling again.

"One more, but this time louder."

"Are we there yet!!!" "Are we there yet!" nakita ko na sumipa pa siya pagkasigaw niya. "Ouch! Why did you kick me?"

"Sorry, sorry mommy!"

"Okay this time, let's say it non stop. The person who says are we there yet the most will win, you get it?" I saw her nod her head and she's looking so excited. "Okay.. One two three!"

"Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there,are we there,are we there,are we there,are we there,are we there aaaahhhh!" natawa ako nung nakita ko na nabubulol na siya pero pinipilit niya pa din. "Are we the, are we the, are we the, are we the, are we the, are we the,"

"Hahahaha. It's not over you are losing! Are we there, yet there, are we, there yet, are we there, are we there,are we there,are we there yet!!!"

"Mommy I win!!"

"No! I win! hahahahaha my baby you just lost in the are we there yet competition! I win! Mommy one, Yooji zero!"

"No, I win!" apela sakin ni Yooji. "No you didn't! you were stuttering! I won!"

"Okay one more let's see if you can win this round. Okay, go! Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?!!"

"You two get out of the car!!" nagulat ako ng biglang tinigil ni Karina yung kotse sabay bumaba siya at binuksan niya yung pinto sa side ko. "What babe?"

"I'm not kidding, kayong dalawa you get out of the car now."

"Huh? are you serious? But babe we're just playing here."

"You've been getting on my nerves kanina pa, lalo ka na Winter nakakainis ka, talagang sinasadya mo hindi kayo mapagsabihan. I'm serious, bumaba kayo."

"What? Baby nasa highway tayo saan naman kami magsstay dito ang init init. Sorry na, hindi na sige na, tara na, sumakay ka na ulit." tinignan ko yung mini baby ko, nakayakap siya sakin and she knows that we got in trouble again. Ang higpit ng kapit niya sakin dahil takot siya kay Karina. "Hindi ako nakikipag biruan sayo Winter." kita ko sa muka niya na nagpipigil siya ng galit, hindi niya mailabas dahil nakaharap yung baby namin. Inabot ko yung kamay ni Rina para hawakan pero umiwas siya. "I'm sorry, hindi na talaga kami mag iingay." mahinang sabi ko. Grabe nakakatakot siya, parang seryoso siya na iiwanan niya kami sa daan. 

"You've been pissing me off. Hindi kayo mapagsabihan, I'm driving tapos sinasadya mo mag ingay. Nakakairita ka talaga. Ang tigas ng ulo mo Winter, ikaw pa talaga yung nangunguna."

"Sorry na nga." bumalik na siya sa driver's seat sabay sinara niya yung pinto ng malakas. Napatingin sakin si Yooji, hindi siya nagsasalita dahil alam niya na galit yung mama niya. Tinignan ko yung oras, meron pa kaming almost one hour bago makarating dun sa lot na titignan namin. Ang aga aga ang sungit ni Rina, may meeting pa naman ako ngayon, parang hindi tuloy maganda yung start ng araw ko. Sana naman maging successful, kahit pa medyo bad vibes na ngayon dito sa kotse.

Nag ffake sign language kami ni Yooji dito sa back seat at naglalaro na ulit kami, pigil na pigil yung tawa ko dahil ayaw ko na mabulyawan. Nagpapatalo ako sakanya sa thumb wrestling kaya tuwang tuwa siya. Occasionally napapalingon samin si Karina, pero bigla kaming tumitigil at hindi kami gumalaw kapag tumitingin siya.

"Mag ready ka na, in fifteen minutes we'll be there." ako ata yung kinakausap niya. Ayaw ko nalang siya tanungin dahil baka barahin nanaman ako. "Have you checked with them what time they will arrive?"

"Baby ako ba yung kinakausap mo?" nag aalangan na tanong ko sakanya. "Yung anak ba natin yung may meeting with an investor Winter? You tell me."nagpigil ako ng tawa ng marinig ko yung sagot niya. "Sorry, yeah mauuna yung broker, malapit na daw siya." nung natatanaw ko na yung beach binuksan ko yung window dahil gusto ko makita ni Yooji. "Babe can you please turn off the aircon?" ineexpect ko na hindi papayag si Karina pero pinatay niya din at wala na siyang sinabi.

Nakasilip kami ni Yooji at pinapafeel ko sakanya yung hangin. "Can I swim there?" tanong niya sakin habang nakatingin kami sa dagat. "No later pa, when we arrive at mama's beach house."

"Mommy, teach me how to swim."

"Of course we can try it in the swimming pool but not in the beach, but promise me that you will not go in the pool alone okay?" 

"Promise I stay far. Mommy?"

"Yes baby?"

"I want a twin."

"Huh? Where did you even get that idea. You cannot have a twin na because you were already born."

"But I want a sister like tita Taeyeon or tita Chaewon."

"What? But it's not that easy baby. There are things we need to do and consider before another child joins our family."

"But I want to have a sister, it is boring when it's just me."

"It's not gonna be boring we will just get you a dog, a cat or a pony. When you go to school you're gonna meet a lot of kids. You will never get bored there. Do you want a pony?"

"Yes! a small pony. Purple!"

"Purple? black, brown or white lang meron, there's no purple horse. Okay, next time we go back here for vacation, I will get you a pony, the miniature one."

"How about my sister?"

"A pony or a sister?! you can only choose one."

"Pony!"

"Okay that's a good choice."

"We are here." bumaba na kami at inaayos muna ni Rina yung pag park ng kotse. "Yooji you go with mama I just need to attend the meeting. Baby, Rina you have to come with me I will introduce you to them isama mo nalang si Yooji."

"Pup wait, come here." lumapit ako sakanya, akala ko galit pa sakin si Rina pero inayos niya bigla yung collar ng shirt ko. "There, you look good. Good luck." binuhat na niya si Yooji at naglakad na kami papunta dun sa tent. "Babe sama kayo sakin dun, you can stay there baka kasi umabot ng more than one hour yung pag tour nitong lot. "Okay." 

"Let's go, I want to introduce my family to the investor." hinawakan ko yung kamay niya at tumuloy na kami kung nasaan yung mga ka-meeting ko.

2:00pm Yu's Beach House

12pm na nung dumating kami dito sa Batangas. The meeting was okay, nag kasundo kami nung new investor, iba pa to dun sa mga kausap ko two weeks ago, we'll just schedule another meeting to officially close the deal for the development. Nagkausap na din kami ni Rina and we both decided that we are going to purchase the land. We'll start with the design stage this year and the tentative construction timeline in the following year. Magiging magkasunod yung projects ko, the first one will be the residential project with Ryujin's Architectural company and then followed by this one, a resort hotel. Yung property na tinignan namin kanina, that will be our first conjugal asset, kaming dalawa yung naka pirma at samin ipapangalan. Sobrang excited ako at pagbubutihan ko talaga to, ngayon ko magagamit lahat ng experiences at yung mga courses na tnake ko. This is my goal and this is what I want to do, successful yung first design project na naibenta ko at ito na yung mga kasunod.

Nandito kami sa living room, naglalaro si Yooji at nakahiga naman si Rina sa couch. Nakapatong yung paa niya sa lap ko habang nag chcheck lang ako ng work emails sa ipad. "Baby." I called her, kinakausap na niya ako kanina pero napaka cold pa din niya. "Yeah?"

"Galit ka pa ba?" tanong ko sakanya. Tntry niya lang maging civil sakin lalo nung sa meeting tsaka nung kinailangan namin mag usap after nun. "I'm sorry, yung kanina sa kotse. Sorry kung nainis ka."

"Yeah, whatever." tumayo siya at lumipat naman ngayon sa kabilang couch. One thing about Karina, kung pano ko siya suyuin dati kapag galit siya, ganun pa din yung mga trip niya hanggang ngayon. Hindi ko nalang muna siya kukulitin dahil baka mas mainis pa siya at hindi ako pansinin hanggang makauwi na kami sa New York.

At dahil wala akong magawa, nagpunta nalang ako sa bedroom para hanapin yung journal ko. Ito yung iniwan ko dun sa Winrina tiny house nung nag vacation kami dati. Balak kong gawan ng entry yung tungkol sa engagement day, our wedding and the time that Yooji was born. Isusulat ko yung mga yun dahil sa pagkakatanda ko hindi maganda yung mga huling kwento na nailagay ko dito. Gusto ko sana mapalitan ng masasaya yung mga malulungkot.

We have three days to stay here, hindi ko kailangan mag report sa work at ganun din si Karina. Yun nalang ang iaaccomplish ko, I need to update the journal before we return home dahil magiging busy na ulit ako.

Hawak ko na yung journal, umupo ako dito sa sahig at sumandal ako sa kama. I guess I would need a refresher dahil parang six or seven years na ata yung huling beses na binuksan ko to. Ganun na katagal kaya sigurado hindi ko na matatandaan yung ibang nakasulat. Ano kaya yung mararamdaman ko kapag babasahin ko ulit yung mga nangyari dati lalo nung time na nag aaral pa kami. Wala naman magawa ngayon tsaka mamaya pa naman kami bababa sa beach kaya magbabasa nalang ako. Random selection of pages nalang ang gagawin ko, kung saan matapat yun ang babasahin ko.

I shuffled all the pages ng paulit ulit, kung saan page ako mapunta I will go through it.

Well here goes nothing....

**shuffling the pages**

**shuffling the pages**

"Stage 3.5 Ratatoutille? tungkol saan naman kaya to and what is up with the title." I scanned through the pages, tangina this is a certified trip to memory lane. Hindi ko alam na andito pala to, yung time na nagtago ako sa pantry dahil ayaw ko mapahiya si Rina sa lulutuin niya. Nag tago ako at niretoke namin nila Ryujin yung recipes na ginagawa nila ni Giselle. Ganun ba ako ka-down bad kay Rina dati. Tangina para akong tanga pero okay lang, proud ako na ginawa ko yun dahil naging successful yung lunch namin dun sa lake.

May nakalagay din dito, this is the first time we watched the sunrise together at sumakay kami sa speed boat, pangalawang araw from the day na naging kami na.

"Winter," tumingin ako kay Rina nung bigla niya akong tawagin. "Yeah?" sagot ko sakanya."I didn't get to say or promise you anything last night, but I want to say this to you now,"

"What is it, bakit parang kinakabahan ako sayo?"

"No, don't be."

"Okay ano ba yun?"

"Pup whatever happens to us, kahit mag away or maka-encounter tayo ng major problems in the future, can we promise na paguusapan natin lahat? Lahat lahat, if there is something bugging you or kapag natatakot ka, sabihin mo sakin. Let's promise na we will talk things out hanggang sa makahanap tayo ng solution. And another thing, of course we cannot tell ano yung mga mangyayari satin, but know that I will do everything to be with you. I'll make sure that you will never feel alone and I want us to learn about life together."

"Bakit ang seryoso mo naman? pinapaiyak mo ako ang aga aga pa."

"No, but I'm just saying."

"Okay baby, I won't forget that. This is a process and we will work on it together."

"I'm super excited about this Pup."

"Me too Rina."

While I'm reading this, I suddenly feel like there's a lump in my throat. Naalala ko yung mismong araw na to February 19, the day after I asked her to be my girlfriend, I was in second year college tapos third year naman si Karina. Okay tama na, ayaw ko umiyak ngayon dahil ang liwanag pa naman dito. Lipat ko na nga, maghahanap ako ng iba sana yung mga nakakatawa naman.

Random pages, let's go. Okay, stage three nanaman. Stage 3.8 Pleased To Meet You, "oh my god I think alam ko kung ano to." I started scanning the pages, naisulat ko pala ng detalyado yung naguusap kaming apat nila Yeji sa cafeteria, tangina medyo kiss and tell pala ako dati parang gago. Nakasulat din dito nung naglaro kami ni Karina sa condo, we're doing a couple quiz habang gumagawa ako ng Architectural plates, mukang okay nga basahin to. Hanap muna ako ng magandang pwesto.

Kumuha ako ng unan at inilagay ko na sandalan dito sa likod ko. Okay, basa.

"matatapos na to Winter, come on."

"okay shoot."

"How do you plan to be a good partner to me?"

"siyempre I'll make you happy."

"that's so lame naman Winter."

"ano ba gusto mong sagot? ang dami mo na tinanong baby pagod nako para akong nag finals exam."

"sige na pup, konti nalang talaga to, we're down to five."

"yan din sabi mo kaninang 4pm eh!"

"sige na pup please we're about to finish. How do you plan to be a good partner to me? game!"

"Okay sige. I will love you forever, I'll listen to your thoughts or what you're gonna have to say, I'll appreciate everything that you will do for me, I'll take care of you, I'll do fun things with you kahit anong trip mo game ako, I will support whatever dreams you wanna pursue and I'll make sure that you're always safe and happy. Ayan na babe honest answer yan ah."

Seryosong nakatingin lang sakin si Rina, kinalabit ko siya dahil muka na siyang natulala. "baby tapos na yung sagot ko, hindi ka naman ata nakinig." 

"Pup."inangat ko yung ulo ko para silipin siya dahil para na siyang na-stuck at hindi na talaga nagsalita."Rina ano na?"

"wtf, are you crying?"

"nakakainis ka Winter, stop it nga."

"Tangina baby umiiyak ka dahil lang sa quiz na nakalkal mo sa google?"

"I hate you Winter isa, hindi nga eh!"

"Baby umiiyak ka ayan oh basa, jusko umiyak ka dahil sa girlfriend quiz? halika na nga tama na yan."

"ito na last question na Pup tapusin na natin 6:30 na eh."

"How do you see us five years from now?"

"huh? edi tayo pa din. We will still be enjoying simple things like this but better version na because we have our jobs and mas madami na tayo nagawa nun. Ikaw?"

"Same."

"Sure? okay bihis ka na babe, hatid na kita."

Hindi ko mapigilan matawa nung binalikan ko yung couple quiz na pakana niya nung one time na nakatambay kami sa condo ko nung college. Hindi ko na binasa yung ibang parts nitong entry dahil may mga ayaw na akong alalahanin, isa na dun yung nagkasagutan kami ni ate Irene sa Manila Pen, sobrang nakakahiya yung ginawa ko nun kasi naging bastos ako. Who would've thought magiging close pala kami at magiging kapatid ko din siya. "Okay next,"

I shuffled the pages again and I was waiting for it to stop on a random page, here it goes. "Stage 4.2, The 202." This is definitely about when we move into the condo in BGC. Sobrang dami din masasayang alaala talaga dun sa condo namin.

"Winter why are you so against us having a joint property?"

"Para pag nainis or nagalit ka sakin tapos ayaw mo na ako makita, mas madali para satin, walang hassle na kung ano anong legal processes like pag ibebenta yung property or what, papalayasin mo lang ako dito and then I'm gonna get my outta he- aray!!!" Nakatanggap nanaman ako ng palo galing kay Karina. "Baby ang sakit ikaw ang hilig mo talaga mamalo tsaka mangurot."

"I told you not to joke about that na, you might manifest it Winter I'm serious. You are not going anywhere dito ka lang sakin. We are going to stay here until we grow old, we will take care of each other."

"Okay I would love that, I'm gonna take care of you. Pero ang laki nitong condo baby parang pang family to eh. Three bedrooms, ilan square meters ba yung area nito?"

"This one is 280 square meters, mas malaki yung sa other unit, the one down the hallway.  I think they got half of the entire floor area."

"280 tapos tayong dalawa lang wala tayong kasama?"

"Wala, do you want us to have a helper?"

"No parang ayaw ko but we can get cleaners. So tayong dalawa lang dito?"

"Bakit sino pa ba gusto mo kasama dito Winter or do you want us to have kids para may kalaro ka?"

"Kids like totoong bata?"

"What the Pup, may nabibili bang robot kids? Siyempre yung totoo."

"Anong gagawin ko dun? I cannot take care of kids babe, pag nag poop yun baka tumakbo lang ako palabas."

"Hahahahaha oh my gosh wala magtiis ka, tayong dalawa lang talaga dito forever."

"Winter you are so weird. I'm sure you just want a playmate, and then what, I'm going to clean up after the two of you? Oh my god no way!"

"Wala, edi tayong dalawa lang talaga..."

Oh my gosh who would've have thought, saamin dalawa I was totally against having kids, ayaw ko talaga dati yung idea pero ngayon, halos hindi na kami mapaghiwalay nung mini baby namin. Lagi siyang nakabuntot sakin at lagi ko siyang kausap, kasabay kumain, kalaro, kaasaran at higit sa lahat lagi kong nammiss yung anak namin kapag hindi ko siya nakikita ng matagal. Yooji is the best thing that happened to us ni Karina. Kahit kailan hinding hindi matutumbasan yung saya na naffeel namin ngayon na kasama na namin siya.

Next Page..... "Stage 3.17 Yellow Fever? What is up with these titles napaka random naman."

"What? No dito ka lang, susubuan kita."

"Pup wag na."

"Why not?"

"Na-hassle na kita kanina pa."

"Anong hassle ka dyan, you are my baby and I'm just taking care of you. Sige na say AAH!" Sumunod din siya and kinain niya yung first spoonful of soup na sinubo ko sakanya. 

"How about you, hindi ka pa kumakain? I'm really sorry."

"Don't worry about me baby, stop saying sorry na."

Nung more than half na yung nakain niya from the bowl, busog na daw siya and ayaw na niya. Hindi ko nalang pinilit kasi baka mailabas niya pa ulit yung kinain niya. At least may laman na yung tiyan niya at safe na siyang uminom mamaya ng gamot. "Babe stay like that for ten minutes bago ka humiga ulit. Masakit pa ba ulo mo?"

"Slight but I feel better now compared kanina."

"You take a rest, suspended naman yung class mamaya, wait uminom ka muna nitong water."

"Thank you."

That time na na-suspend yung class at nilagnat si Karina nung nasa condo kami sa Manila. Grabe parang ang dami pala talagang nangyari sa first year ng relationship namin. Tandang tanda ko pa, ito yung reason kung bakit pinayagan siya ng parents niya na mag stay nalang sa condo ko. It was really fun, we've been living together since college but we're able to co-habit peacefully and ang swerte din namin dahil hindi kami nagkasawaan.

Okay let me check the other pages now, ang daming nakasulat, sobrang frustrated ata ako nung time na nagkakalabuan kami kaya napaka dami kong nailagay na kwento dito.

What is this, todo shuffle pa ako dito lang naman pala sa unang part ng journal ako mapupunta,"Stage 2 She Got You High or Low." Oh I know this, how can I forget, it's about my first interaction with the girl who happens to be my wife now.

Here I am sa path walk with my game plan ready. Aabangan ko na siya so I could apologize, get this over with at tuluyan ng mag vanish itong guilt na nararamdaman ko. Pumasok ako ng maaga para dito at talagang prnactice ko pa yung sasabihin ko sakanya. 

ayan