♫♪Honey you are my valentine
You’re my love forever ♫♪

 

A gentle voice was smoothly dragging you out of the dream land while soft breath was gently caressing your cheeks. You slowly opened your eyes and saw Nichkhun beaming at you, your hair and singing happily to wake you up.

It would have been the most romantic way to wake up if you hadn't been so shocked.

 

You went up fast just to go down again after you realized that you were . Then where exactly you had been and that Nichkhun seemed to enjoy all of this.

 

„!“ Why on earth had you been cursed that way? Every time you got drunk you ended up with another guy! Shoot!!!

 

„WHAT HAPPENED?!“, you asked him, wrapping the blanket around you like the Kim leave around Kimbab. You were completely terrified and what did Nichkhun do?

 

„You're cute!“ Nichkhun laughed and grabbed your shoulder to roll you into his arms. He embraced you tightly and chuckled happily.

 

„HEY! Khun! Stop it!“, you complained. Your head became all red.

 

„Don't tell me you can't remember what happened last night?“, he said but sounded as if he didn't take you serious at all. He was enjoying it way too much!

 

„NO!!! This is no fun at all, Khun!“, you barked but it didn't stop him. It even became worse.

 

„But last night you seemed to have a lot of fun!“, he claimed and then started to imitate you with a high pitched voice. „Khuun! No~! Please, stop! NO! Don't stop! Oh Gooooosh!“

 

“Shut up!”, you snarled at him and jumped out of the bed to escape of this more than weird situation.

 

"Honey! Hey Honey!", Nichkhun called you and grabbed your waist, pulling you back into the bed.

 

"Why are you running away now?", he asked while embracing you completely, dragging you deep into his arms and whispering his words into your ears like warm, sweet poison. Your whole body started to shake and shiver when he started caressing you and kissing your neck. It evoked those blurred, forbidden memories in your mind.

 

"This...This is...not right...Khun!", you breathed out the words so heavily that they suffocated half in your mouth.

 

"Last night you wouldn't have called it as...not right.", Nichkhun said and chuckled while his left hand wandered downwards your body. "And I know all the things you love and indulge in now..."

 

"But...but...", you tried to contradict but ended up in a moan which Nichkhun silenced with a passionate kiss.

 

 

Nichkhun wasn't willing to let you go until you got a worried call by Taeyeon.

 

"Where are you?! Yoona-yah and I are worried about you! We thought you were with Sangbum so we called him but he told us you aren't with him. Damn, ____-ah, did you really break up with him?!" Taeyeon sounded very shocked about it.

 

"U-unnie, I'll come back immediately! Give me some minutes!", you told her and collected back all of your clothes.

 

"No! No, please!", Nichkhun begged and grabbed your wrist.

 

"I can't stay forever in..."

 

This was the first time you looked around and realized that you were at the 2PM dormitory. Oh crap...what if someone would see you...

 

You quickly went out, Nichkhun following you the whole time until you reached the main door.

 

"So we see each other soon?", you asked and just when you turned around Nichkhun had pressed his lips on yours again, holding your face with his big hands.

 

"I love you.", he said.

 

You couldn't answer but just breath in the sweet air following his words, intoxicating you and blurring your surrounding, before you opened the door and walked out fast. Just as you had thrown the door closed everything that had happened felt like a surreal dream.

 

 

"Where have you been? Why did you break up with Sangbum-shi?"

 

It was a good thing that just Taeyeon and Yoona stayed at home. You didn't want to know what would have happened if more people - especially Tiffany - were staying at home.

 

"I can explain everything...", you told them but when it came to explaining the part what happened between you and Nichkhun you couldn't say a single thing.

You even decided to keep it a secret...but as always there was fate playing bad at you.

 

- Breaking News: SM and JYP couple Nichkhun and Tiffany break-up! -

 

"Omo! Omo! What happened?!", Yoona shouted upset when she read the news at her smartphone. "Leader-nim! Call unnie immediately! "

 

You couldn't look up the news as quick as Taeyeon had typed in Tiffany's number.

 

The two ex - lovers separated in peace and friendship. There is no reason to worry but still there are some suspicious points coming up.

 

There were pictures of Tiffany with other idols and also Nichkhun and other female artists. But the pictures of you and Nichkhun were flooding the web more than any other couple photos.

 

Nichkhun jumping from one SNSD member to another, it said at the websites.

 

"Is this true?", Yoona asked you just when she read the news. "Is this the reason why you broke up with Sangbum?"

 

"It's not like that-really!", you told her but the conversation couldn't go any further.

 

"Fany-ah...please call down...come back home and we will talk about it! Stop crying!"

 

Tiffany was crying? Of course she did...and it was your fault. As always you were the person causing others the most trouble and pain. When would the day come to end all of this?

 

You bit your lower lip and got up slowly to go back to your bed room.

 

This was a mess. And it would eventually become even worse.

 

 

Tiffany came back as a wreck. Crying and sobbing all the time. You didn't want to cause her so much pain and you even called Nichkhun to tell him that it was not right to have something like this which was hurting others to that extent.

 

"Don't worry.", he tried to appease you, "I told Tiffany that I couldn't make a clear line between friendship and love and that I had realized that it was nothing more than friendship to me. She assured me she understands...so don't worry and keep our relationship secret for now. We'll make it. I'll take care of it."

 

You believed in his words and gave him all of your trust. But nothing was able to prevent what would face you just too soon.

 

After the phone call you got back to the girls. Taeyeon and Yoona were comforting Tiffany who was still crying like mad but when you sat on the opposite couch Tiffany started sobbing and just looked at you in the most hostile way she could.

 

"You...", she said, leaving you in pure shock. Did she knew about what happened last night? Would she blame you for it? For the break-up?

 

"Do you know that Nichkhun broke up with me because he loves you? Because he was never able to give up on you?", she asked bitterly.

 

"W-what?", you asked sheepishly.

 

"Don't act as if you did not know. He tried to be with me...but he could not give up on you. What is so special about you that all these guys are gathering around you?"

 

She blamed you. But at least she did not know about the last night. Still...It was just as bad.

 

"I know I should not blame you for our break-up...but I can't help but hating you." Tiffany sounded so angry, so serious, it was scaring. "How can Nichkhun fall in love with you when you've been friends but he can't fall in love with me because we were friends. This is unfair."

 

"Yah! Fany-ah! How can you say something like this?! This is not appropriate!", Taeyeon scolded her immediately. Yoona was also very shocked.

 

"I'm sorry.", Tiffany apologized...but not for saying that for you, "but I won't forgive you for this. I have loved Nichkhun for a long time...even before you joined us. But he fell for you so easily...that's so unfair. I know him far longer than you do!"

 

"YAH!", Taeyeon yelled. "TAKE THAT BACK! DON'T RUIN OUR SOSHI BOND! DON'T DO THAT, TIFF!"

 

"It's okay.", you said calmly. "I can understand how you feel. So I'm better leaving for now."

 

You got up and wanted to leave when Tiffany's voice stopped you immediately.

 

"____-ah.", she said with a shaky voice.

 

You stopped and turned around to face your unnie.

 

"Once you figure out what a great man Nichkhun is and how caring and loving he can be, take good care of him.", she told you.

 

"Sure.", you answered and gulped. "I promise I'll do that."

 

 

Two weeks passed and Tiffany still hadn't started talking to you. And neither you met up with Nichkhun again. You didn't even call or answer one of his calls. The silence between the three of you was broken when Nichkhun set step into your rehearsal room again.

 

"What are you doing here?", Sunny asked angered.

 

Each of the SNSD girls knew about how Nichkhun had broken up with Tiffany so some of them got quite upset.

 

"I'm visiting my best friend...I hope you can accept that.", he said and walked over to you, smiling brightly and warming your chest and heart with it.

 

"Can I stay?", he asked you.

 

Sooyoung and Yoona were watching you two with dropped open jars.

 

"He's with you now?!", Sooyoung screamed out in excitement and shock at the same time.

 

"N-no!", you started but Nichkhun cut in with such a strong and honest voice that nobody could have stopped him.

 

"Yes, we are.", he said and turned around to you. "There's no sense of lying to them. They are your unnies, they must understand and accept this."

 

"But you broke up with Tiffany-yah just two weeks ago?! How is this possible?!", Taeyeon asked very perplexed.

 

"It's not ____-ah's fault. It's been all me. I started loving her a while ago and bothered her so many times. I confessed to her a while ago but she rejected me. And still I hung on to her. When I started dating Tiffany-yah I was not completely honest - not even to myself. I tried to get over ____-ah, I thought Tiffany - ah could heal me from that sickness...so don't blame ____-ah for giving in to me, for trying to heal my all time broken heart. It's my fault that I bothered her the whole time...so if you blame and hate someone, please hate me. Because I was the one lying to the public, to you and to Tiffany-yah."

 

The girls remained speechless until Tiffany's steps were echoing through the rehearsal room. The next sound was a powerful slap and her harsh, hissing voice.

 

"Never show up in front of me again! Never! "

 

"Okay.", Nichkhun agreed. "I'll never show up in front of you...In person."

 

And there he left, leaving back a mess of a Soshi bond because nothing was able to save you girls from partying into biased groups.

 

The groups were quite simple united.

 

There were Yoona and Sooyoung who defended Nichkhun and you. Yuri and Hyoyeon tried their best to keep neutral in this conflict. Seohyun and Jessica didn't care too much about the fight over Nichkhun. And finally there were Taeyeon, Sunny and Tiffany judging you the worst way possible. It hurt you beyond words that especially Taeyeon was speaking up against you now...

 

"Do you want me to talk to Taeyeon?", Nichkhun asked you worriedly as you were sitting together in the 2 PM dormitory. "I told you I would do anything you like and need. I just want to see you happy."

 

"No...it's fine...If you're happy that much you usually have to pay for it...I guess this is the price to be with you.", you explained and sighed.

 

For some reason Nichkhun started chuckling happily.

 

"What's it?", you asked him about his strange behavior.

 

"I'm just happy.", he said. "I mean...you finally want to be with me...and I'm the one making you happy. This is exactly what I have dreamed of." He hugged you tenderly and moved slowly from the right to the left.

 

"And one day I will make you say 'I love you, too.' as well. But until then I will wait patiently....I can do that and I will do that."

 

He sounded like a little boy who wanted to be extra diligent to get Santa's best presents on Christmas eve. It made you laugh instantly.

 

"Khun... you do so much for me...do you ever think of yourself? Can I do anything to make you more happy?", you asked him still giggling in amusement.

 

He beamed at you, his perfect white teeth reflecting his overwhelming happiness.

 

"At the moment I couldn't be happier.", he said. "But if the moment comes...and I don't know when that moment will come...but if it comes and I will ask you...I'd wish you to not reject me."

 

You frowned about his words. "What do you mean, Khun?'

 

"I know everything about you. And I accept everything about you. I want to spend my life with you. So I want to succeed in which nobody yet was able to do. I want to marry you."

 

 

It took another 4 months to calm down the scandal about the break up between Nichkhun and Tiffany. The citizens had become more quiet and since both of them confirmed that the break-up was a unified decision everyone seemed understanding.

 

The dating scandals about Taeyeon and Yoona also calmed down so the life of all of you became quite normal again - except for the SNSD clash. Nothing had changed. Taeyeon exchanged not a single word with you.

 

"One day she will talk to you again.", Sooyoung told you over and over again. "Just try to stand trough this. We're with you."

 

During the past 4 months Yuri, Hyoyeon, Sooyoung and you grew together all the more as one bond. New Generation became all the more famous, starting a competition with TaeTiSeo. The agency even profited out of it, creating two intern Soshi fandoms with all the more merchandise and fan events. Meanwhile Sunny was starting a successful career as solo artist and Jessica became more successful with her fashion doings.

Luckily you were able to restore Sangbum's messy image by accepting the second drama offer. He first rejected to play side by side with you but then after you talked to him and convinced him that you would restore his image he accepted. During your first public interview regarding the drama you openly stated that Sangbum was a good man and that he would never cause others harm. Therefore there was again a scandal about you and Sangbum but it quickly went off the table once the Nichkhun scandal came up again.

 

Nichkhun and you were a hot topic coming up like an eruptive volcano. Sometimes there was a break but it came up all over again and again like a merry go round. But as long as JYP and SM denied that you were officially dating there was no chance for the medias to cry out and cause some serious trouble.

 

 

"Hon, can you bring us a bottle of water, too?", Nichkhun shouted. He was sitting with Taecyeon and Yoona in the living room, preparing the 'How I met your mother' marathon you had planned for the weekend. You've been finally able to have your so long awaited double date together at the 2PM dormitory.

 

"Sure!", you said and came back with a bottle of water and some cups.

 

Junho just crossed your way on his way out. It had been Friday evening and the other 2 PM members had already been out.

 

"Oh, you're watching that series tonight?", he asked and sneaked into the living room.

 

"Yo Junho-ah!", Nichkhun greeted him. "You're on your way to meet your parents again?"

 

Junho chuckled and sat down next to him.

 

"Yupp, but I'm not that in a hurry. I have some time to disturb your lovey - dovey time, my lovely hyungs.", he declared and grabbed one of the chilsung sider cans on the table.

 

"Damn. That Robin girl is so hot. But I wouldn't take a girl who can't have children. I don't get how Barney and Ted can be after such a damaged woman. I'd never date or even marry someone like that. We have to spread our genes, right? Do your best, guys! Taecyeon-hyung, make Yoona-yah some beautiful Korean babies. And you, Nichkhun-hyung...you spread your power Thai genes!"

 

Junho laughed and got up when he noticed Nichkhun's shocked face. He patted Nichkhun's shoulder and passed you by, winking at you, who looked the same as Nichkhun.

 

Just as he had left and you still stayed at the same spot as before, not even moving a millimeter, your boyfriend got up, very worried, very devastated.

 

"Hey Hon.", he whispered towards you, moving a bit down so he was eyes to eyes with you.

 

"Don't pay too much attention to his words...okay?", he told you gently and caressed your cheeks.

 

"I love you. And I won't stop until the day I die..."

 

His promise sounded so sweet. But Junho was right... Nichkhun deserved to have children - just like any other man. He was a great guy. How could you take away his future by taking away his chance of having children. Of course Junho ' s way of stating his opinion was inappropriate but he was indeed right.

 

You were damaged. You were trash.

 

"I know.", you assured Nichkhun and forced a smile on your lips. "I love you, too."

 

You moved passed him and sat down on the free couch.

 

"Let's start this couple weekend, huh?"

 

 

"Screw myself!", you cursed when Yoona and you got back to the SNSD dormitory on Sunday morning. "Why do others manipulate me that easily every time?"

 

"What do you mean?", Yoona asked irritatedly.

 

You sighed but didn't answer. Yoona did not know. Nobody knew except for Nichkhun.

 

"Nothing...", you mumbled.

 

Unfortunately it was not nothing. But the next weeks you grew more and more distant to Nichkhun as much as the thought of you being disabled to get pregnant was bothering you all the more.

 

It went that far that Nichkhun had to catch you after a drama recording.

 

"See who's here to pick you up.", Sangbum said and nodded into the direction of the film sets ending. Nichkhun was standing there in a leather jacket and some sunglasses on.

 

It made you feel very uncomfortable to have Sangbum seeing the reason you broke up with him.

 

"It's him, isn't it...The man you wanted to be with before we started dating?"

 

Your eyes wandered towards Sangbum in silence.

 

"Go meet him. It seems to be very urgent otherwise he wouldn't have come here to meet you."

 

Quickly you got all your things and hurried to meet Nichkhun.

 

"Khun! What are you doing here?", you asked him out of breath.

 

"What's wrong with you?", he asked you immediately.

 

"W-what do you mean?" Am uneasy chuckle of yours assures Nichkhun just that he was right with his assumption that something was bothering you.

 

"You're avoiding me since Junho had brought up that stupid children topic. And don't tell me you've been busy! I won't eat that crap! Don't lie to me,____! That's bull!"

 

You've never seen Nichkhun that angry before.

 

"No! No I didn't!", you pretended. "I...I was just...really...busy..."

 

"Four months you've been alright to see me even though you've been more busy than now! So what is wrong with you?!", Nichkhun did not want to stop so you decided to give up straight ahead.

 

"Let's stop this, Khun! This is nonsense...! I don't want to take away your future being father! So let me leave you alone and become the man you should be! A great husband and father!", you blurted out and wanted to leave but Nichkhun grabbed you and tore you back.

 

"I told you I don't care about that! Why don't you believe me! I told you I want to be with you forever! That I want to marry you once you're ready for it! So what's your god damn problem?!"

 

You were screaming at each other so loudly in Thai. It was just too fortunate that nobody was able to understand you.

 

"Let's not discuss this here...", you mumbled when you noticed that some of the people from the set were already watching you.

 

"Why?! Because people are watching us?! I would put this relationship public instantly if you had allowed me! Or are you afraid that I'm just talk?! That I just talk that I love and want to marry you? But when it all comes real and serious I run away?! Do you really think, I am like this?!"

 

You opened your mouth to answer. But he was partly speaking what you were thinking.

 

"Ah...so it is.", Nichkhun said with a bitter laugh. "Then...here..."

 

He grabbed your hand and placed something in it.

 

"This is how serious I am. I bought that a long time ago. Do you still think I'm not serious? I really wonder..."

 

Nichkhun turned around and walked away. You couldn't decide if you wanted to follow him or if you wanted to check what he handed to you. The curiosity won and you checked your hand.

 

In your hand there was a shining ring. An engagement ring that left you with a half- opened mouth. And when you looked up and wanted to follow the man who had wanted to be with you no matter what, he was gone.

 

"Khun..."

 

"Don't reject him."

 

You winced as you heard Sangbum's voice behind you and turned around.

 

"I did not understand anything of what you were fighting about. But he gave you a ring, didn't he? As much as you told me about him...He really loves you. Don't run away from him as you did from me because you're scared. Trust him. Sometimes you can trust in others more than in yourself."

 

 

When the night sky had darkened the whole horizon, you've made your way to the JYP office. With loud and confident steps you walked towards the 2 PM training room while all the JYP staff was watching you in confusion.

 

With a loud smash you opened the door and faced all the 2 PM members and their choreographers.

 

A short and unpleasant silence appeared but very quick you cleared your throat and stepped towards Nichkhun.

 

He was looking at you, breathless and covered in sweat. It was not as if you had never seen him like that before...nonetheless this view made you quite nervous.

 

"You...", you started with a cracking voice.

 

"I...want to....ry....u...", you mumbled, losing all of your courage.

 

"W-what?" Nichkhun asked and his eyes got even bigger.

 

"I...want...marry...you...", you said becoming more and more quiet. Just to help you making your statement clear you held up your hand on which his ring was shining brightly.

 

It took Nichkhun ten seconds to realise what happened. But when he did he grabbed you, lifted you up and jumped around like a maniac, laughing happily.

 

"I'm getting married! We're getting married!", he exclaimed the other 2 PM members starting to celebrate.

 

 

When you entered the SNSD dormitory, armed with an engagement ring, the girls were all extremely partying. Well...not each of them...but almost everyone. Even Taeyeon could grab her heart and talk to you again.

 

"Awww...Our baby girl is getting married! I'm so happy for you! And don't care about what the entertainment will say about this engagement. Stick together and become a happy married couple!"

 

"Are you serious about that?", you asked Taeyeon very touched and with tears in your eyes.

 

"Of course I am!", she promised, "And I'm sorry about the past months...but I couldn't let Tiffany hang in there all by herself...and somehow I was angry and shocked about all of this. I still thing that Nichkhun and you should have waited before you actually started dating. That's just a question of respect and class...but on the other hand...Nichkhun was waiting for you so long, wasn't he? At least you finally got together."

 

Her bright, encouraging smile, followed by a big hug, was forcing your tears to fall.

 

"Thank you, unnie....Thank you so much."

 

While you were celebrating and jubilating, Tiffany and Seohyun were standing together to observe the scenery.

 

"SNSD is dead.", Seohyun said. "They are all driving this group into a black whole of misery. All of the dating scandals...now marriage? Is this a joke?" She huffed in displeasure and shook her head.

 

Tiffany simply laughed about this. "Don't you worry.", she muttered ,"I'm not gonna let that marriage happen."

---