Shocked you looked at Sangbum who looked almost the same back at you.

 

„I-I...“, you muttered.

 

„Nevermind.“, Sangbum interrupted you and shook his head. „Don't explain anything to me.“

 

He just wanted to leave and turned away.

 

„No, no, no!“, you stopped him and ran straight into his way. „Don't leave like this! It is not as it seems like!“

 

Sangbum frowned. „So you did not sleep with Minho-shi?“, he asked.

 

His question left you speechless. The only thing you could do was blinking at him.

 

„You see? There is nothing to explain.“ And again he wanted to take leave.

 

„No! Stop!“

 

Immediately you grabbed his shirt. „It's not like that!!!“, you cried desperately.

 

„____-ah...please...“, Sangbum sighed. He even rolled his eyes and turned his head away to avoid your eyes.

 

„No! Please let me explain!“, you begged.

 

„Seriously...why do you have to explain it to me? I mean...who am I that you have to explain who you slept with?“ He put your hands away and started walking, letting you stay behind. Sangbum was right. Why would you even want to explain this situation to him? You couldn't tell. But you couldn't let him leave like this either.

 

„Please...!“, you begged him very desperately. The guilt, the bad conscience, the whole sadness of last night came back and overflowed your mind, making you extremely emotional.

 

„Sangbum-oppa...! You once called me a mystery...I will tell you everything about me if you just stop and let me explain!“, you promised but even this wasn't able to convince him.

 

„Do I even want to know everything?“ Sangbum stopped and sighed. He turned halfway around to see angry tears running down your face.

 

You were angry. You were sad. You were broken. And worst of all you didn't even know why you were crying.

 

 

When you told everything to Sangbum, you weren't able to stop sobbing and crying. You told him about your deep love to Kyuhyun, about Seohyun who had reported you to the CEO, about the company's reaction and tries to get you to break up, how they succeeded with WGM and the drama and about Minho who you had slept with because you had been absolutely drunk and broken that night.

 

Sangbum listened to your words patiently, not letting you know if he was believing in them or not. You just knew that you told him everything in detail. As good as possible, so in the end he knew even more than Nichkhun did.

 

„____-ah.“, he finally started speaking again after you finished your explanation, „You are truly like the sun. You attract men, you know that? But you attract the wrong men. Time comes when you have to get over Cho Kyuhyun. Don't regret sleeping with Minho, you did it because you were broken and maybe this will help you cure your wounds. I'm not telling you to do it again but you shoulnd't regret it either.“

 

You sniffed a last time before you faced him.

 

"Are you serious about that? You're not judging me as a ?"

 

"If I had to judge, I would rather say that you're extremely desperate because of a broken heart. Everyone had been at that point once. Maybe their actions went not that far, but I think I can relate to your pain. Nevertheless...I'm not judging you." Sangbum rather judged Minho for taking advantage of your pain. He couldn't believe that that guy had really fallen for you in that short period of time.

 

"And I won't tell anyone about what happened.", he asured you.

 

"Promise?", you asked him and reached out your hand for a pinky finger swear.

 

"Promise.", Sangbum sealed the promise.

 

 

"Where have you been the whole night?! We looked for you!", your unnies complained when you came back to the room.

 

"Have you been with Minho-oppa the whole night? ", Yoona asked scandalized.

 

"U-uhm. No...I-I was not with him.", you lied straight but couldn't even convince yourself.

 

The girls faced you very sceptical but no one dared to express their thoughts. You knew what they were thinking. But admitting was way too embarrassing to you.

 

 

After taking a quick shower and dressing up properly, the girls took you downstairs to get something for breakfast. You couldn't tell what made you feel more sick. Your hangover making the smell of eggs, ham, rice and kimchi almost unbearable or the troublesome feeling in your stomach driven by the fear to meet Minho again.

 

What if he could remember everything? How would he react? How would or, better said, should you react?

What if he wanted to start a serious relationship from this point on? What if this was just a game to him?

 

Too many thoughts were overflowing in your head, causing you not just a sick feeling but also a bad headache.

 

You didn't even dare to check your phone because you were too scared of some words from Minho.

 

"What's wrong, girl? You act strangely.", Hyoyeon mentioned and glanced at you a bit more careful.

 

"I'm alright.", you contradicted and grabbed your phone to prove that you were feeling alright. But alone the blinking of your Samsung Note 2 was making you just feel worse.

 

You gulped before you opened the display to check your messages. And Minho really sent you one:

 

'Hey ____-ah...do you know what happened last night? I can't remember anything. I can just remember how we went to the bar and that we drank some Tequila...but everything else is gone.'

 

He couldn't remember?

 

„Thanks God!“, you exclaimed, making the girls sitting at your table look up in wonder.

 

 

In the afternoon you were still hungover, but it wasn't as bad as in the morning anymore. Shortly before you girls had to leave for MAMA, each of you was starting to get dressed. The stylists were also around to do your hair and make-up.

 

"This time the dresses are prettier, I hope.", Sooyoung said, thinking back of the last dresses you girls got.

 

You chuckled and ped the coating of your dress. The manager had brought you your dresses for the awards after you checked in but none of you had taken a look at them yet. Each of you got a unique dress you would wear before and after you had to perform at stage.

 

The colour of your dress you just as you opened the clothing bag. It was bright yellow.

 

„What the...“

 

You understood the meaning when the stylists started to make your hair and explained.

 

„The concept is your drama's title.“, they told you. „You are the sun and the other two are the moon.“ The other two? They ment Minho and Sangbum?

 

Right...as in the drama there were two guys, two moons fighting over one sun. You wondered if the stylists knew about the upcoming ending of the drama and who would win. Because if they knew, they would dress Sangbum up a bit differently.

 

"I really envy you...", the stylist who started with your make-up said and sighed. "Having two handsome guys around the whole time...you're really lucky. Tell me...is Kim Sangbum as kind as in the drama? And Lee Minho as cool and romantic as in WGM?"

 

You had to think about that yourself because you had never asked yourself this question. Indeed you hadn't because you knew them and their personality already. But you had never wondered how they looked to the audience. You hadn't even thought about how you were looking to the audience right now. Did they envy you like the stylist for having the two guys around? Did they hate you for it? Or did they even loved it and shipped the couples? Taeyeon's words were echoing through your mind.

 

Media loves her...

 

But media didn't include the audience in total. And maybe the medias loved you and your scandals just because it was easy to rip your image apart. You started feeling very uncomfortable about it. In the future you would have to pay more attention to these issues for sure.

 

"Who do you prefer me with?", you asked the stylist who looked back at you in wonder.

 

"Me? Well...to be honest I like the Flower Generation couple very much but the sun needs a moon more than it needs a sunflower. While the sunflower can't be without the sun, can it?"

 

You chuckled at her words and found yourself enjoying this kind of metaphor.

 

When you arrived at the Awards, you had to enter separately. Each member of SNSD had her single time to get photographed and to smile at the various reporters, all yelling questions.

 

You had to enter accompanied by Sangbum and Minho on your left and right side. Of course the medias went crazy over this appearance, lurching for a scandal or two about you guys. But you were just smiling and posing in your glittering dress while Minho and Sangbum looked like beautiful accessories in their white identical suits.

 

Even though everything seemed alright because Minho had forgotten about everything that had happened, you felt a bit awkward next to him and Sangbum also had his eyes focused on your WGM husband a few times.

 

Once you had entered, you had to go back stage immediately to change dresses and get ready for your performance. Sangbum had decided to take his seat and watch the show. Minho also said he would do so but his plans were a bit different.

 

After you had left for your performance, Minho sneaked into the backstage area and looked for a very special dressing room.

 

 

The Super Junior members were already dressed up and ready to leave when the door to their room opened and someone entered the guys hadn't expected.

 

"I'm sorry for bothering you...Ahhh... hell no, I'm not!", Minho spoke up. "I need to talk to that guy over there!" He pointed right at Kyuhyun.

 

"Aish! I don't have time for that . Go back to your stupid wifey and play with her, I don't need this immature stuff bothering me!", Kyuhyun huffed and rolled his eyes. He walked towards Minho to open the door for him and kick him out again, buy Minho reacted faster than Kyuhyun could walk.

 

„Hey...Super Junior guy...“, Minho grabbed Kyuhyun's arm, looking very angry and earnest.

 

„What?!“, Kyuhyun asked him, reacting just the same pissed and ripping his arm away from Minho.

 

„Don't you dare talking like that about ____-ah ever again!“

 

Kyuhyun frowned and even smiled arrogantly at Minho. „And why should I not?“

 

„Because she doesn't deserve to be treated like that by you. She doesn't deserve the words you told her yesterday. She doesn't deserve this heartbreak.“

 

Minho's words stunned Kyuhyun and even made him lose every hint of arrogance in his face.

 

„W-Where did you...did she tell you...?“, he stammered.

 

„Yes, she did...let me tell you this Cho Kyuhyun: I've never held a crying woman in my arms after I slept with her.“

 

Kyuhyun's face became all angry again but Minho's following words stopped him from wanting to kill him. The Super Junior members meanwhile broke into mumbling over Minho's words and especially Sungmin and Leeteuk got angry.

 

„She was crying because she regretted sleeping with me even though she is still madly in love with you. She told me why you broke up and that I was the reason. If you just had kept holding on to her, you wouldn't have driven her right into my arms. If you hadn't followed her yesterday night and hurt her so much with your foolish words, she wouldn't have tried to drown in alcohol and ended up with me. You are the one hurting her most. Hurting this little, precious lady so badly that she was willing to numb all of her pain this way. You are spoiling her with your rotten way of loving her, your stupid jealousy and your everlasting resentment.“

 

Minho's words hit Kyuhyun the most. He was gulping, swallowing all of the reprovals Minho accused him of.

 

„____-ah deserves better. You are already happy with another woman so why can't you just live on and also let her live her life happily. Let her get over you. Let her be happy. Let her get what she deserves.“

 

Minho leaned forward so his face was just a few centimeters away from Kyuhyun's.

 

„Something better than you.“

 

And after he had made his statement very clear in front of Kyuhyun, Minho opened the door himself to leave.

 

Sungmin immediately moved towards Kyuhyun to grab and hit him. The maknae lost his balance and landed uncomfortably on the ground.

 

"You told me she broke up with you - not the other way round!", he shouted angrily at his dongsaeng. "You promised me to keep good care of her but what did you do?! Driving her into despair and start an affair with Lee Minho?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

 

Sungmin wished he could kick and beat Kyuhyun for all he had done not only to you but also to him.

 

"If I had known you would tread her like that I would have never given up on her and treated her right instead! I'm very disappointed in you, Cho Kyuhyun!", Sungmin shouted madly and ran outside, hitting the door closed when he left.

Leeteuk followed him silently - calmly.

 

"Hey! Where are you going, hyung?", Siwon asked before Leeteuk had touched the door.

 

"Out. I'm too disgusted to stay in here.", the leader answered without looking back once.

 

"Oh dude, why didn't you tell us the truth about your break up? I thought ____-ah broke up with you?!"

 

Donghae went to Kyuhyun, helping him up from the ground again.

 

"Man...you caused some trouble again..."

 

Kyuhyun rubbed his aching chin, unable to answer to one of his co- member's questions.

 

 

Shortly after your performance was over, you hurried to the dressing room to change back into your 'sun'-gown.

On your way back to the audience seats you met someone unfortunate.

 

"Hey...can we talk for a moment?"

 

When Kyuhyun directed his words towards you, your stomach felt sick again.

 

"You want to accuse me of some more things?", you asked him more aggressive than you had wanted to.

 

"No, no...", he asured you, "I just wanted to apologize for what I said last night. I was very insensitive yesterday. It's not fair to say words like these to you while I am happy in a relationship. I mean...I moved on. I hope you did, too. I wish you all the best for the future. I don't expect us to be friends or else...but just let us both wish and hope the best for each other."

 

Did he mean it? Just like he said it? His words about him being in a happy relationship were hitting you but you felt too numb to feel more pain. Kyuhyun had hurt you so much in the past time, was it possible that you had reached the limit? The point from which his words couldn't harm you anymore because the pain you had suffered already was more than one could bear with?

 

"Oh okay...", you agreed insecurely. "Well then be happy with Victoria-shi."

 

You bowed and wanted to leave quickly but Kyuhyun's voice was like a red traffic light once he started speaking again.

 

"You, too. Be happy soon. I hope you get someone you deserve...maybe you already found him. There's some very responsible guy around you, you know? He's caring a lot for you."

 

His words made no sense to you yet, but nonetheless you nodded, thanked him and then quickly got away.

 

 

"Wow, what happened? You look pale.", Sangbum asked when you took seat and now were sandwiched by the two males.

 

"N-nothing...", you answered and looked straight at the stage to avoid Sangbum's and Minho's eyes.

 

"I think you look as if your mind is a bit more eased than usual.", Minho commented.

 

"Huh?"

 

You and Sangbum couldn't believe what Minho had just said. After meeting Kyuhyun again and talking to him your heart felt just the more...oh...no it didn't. You had expected to feel just the more sad but somehow you felt numb and once this strange numbness eased there was no pain and no sadness. There was nothing instead.

Was it that what Minho had ment? Was it what you were supposed to feel now? Being finally freed of these chains which used to tie your heart to Kyuhyun? You couldn't tell. You really couldn't tell...

 

The show went on, so the chances to go on talking passed by and you even felt happy about it. You would have to sort out some thoughts.

 

 

The award SNSD won was glimmering in the lights of the hotel room.

 

"How does it feel to win an award the first time?", Hyoyeon asked you and chuckled.

 

"You should know that feel, girl!", Sooyoung and laughed.

 

Some of you girls were celebrating a little after show party in the hotel room since you weren't able to attend the real big one. You had to take the first plane in the morning to go back to Seoul, so going to a party seemed a bit too much.

 

"I bet they have a lot of fun there now...", Taeyeon mumbled. She really had wanted to go there and now was a bit sulking about the fact that she couldn't go.

 

"Don't cry, leader! We have room service the whole night and bet who I will make pay for this - our lovely CEO!", Yuri shouted enthusiastically and opened a bottle of champagne. She was still angry at SME for installing so many CCTVs in your apartment that she enjoyed it just the more to be out.

 

You laughed and took one of the champagne glasses Yuri and Yoona started to spread, when your phone started ringing.

 

The display revealed that it was Minho who called you. Immediately you were reminded of last night and the caution bells in your head were ringing loudly.

 

"Yoboseyo?", you answered the phone with a dry mouth.

 

"Hey sweetheart, can we talk for a moment?", Minho asked you. He sounded serious. No hint of a laughter in his voice which was very uncommon for him.

 

"Uhm..." You looked at your unnies who were still celebrating and laughing.

 

"I'm not sure, I'm kinda busy right now.", you answered and right in that moment Tiffany dropped her glass, spilling all of the champagne on the floor. The girls laughed even louder.

 

"Ah...you're celebrating right now?", Minho asked and there his missing laughter was. "I promise it won't take long."

 

"But I really don't-"

 

"Do you really want to reject me? I even went back early tonight and didn't go to the after show party because I wanted to talk to you. Don't leave me hanging like that.", he nagged and laughed but made you feel responsible for his misery.

 

"A-alright. Where do we meet then?"

 

Minho told you go come meet him at the hotel roof. The girls watched you very sceptical but also curious when you left and of course it was because they somehow knew who you would meet now.

 

"So what's the matter?", you asked Minho when you met him at the roof top.

 

"I just wanted to talk about yesterday night with you."

 

Stupid hangover!, you cursed in your head when Minho's words hit you like a fist in the stomach, causing you a sick feeling again.

 

"Y-yeah.", you mumbled. Could he remember again? Please no, please no!

 

"I still can't remember what exactly happened last night but some words are still stuck in my memories.", he told you and the relief made your nerves get less strained.

 

"O-okay.", you said and nodded slowly.

 

"I confessed to you, didn't I?", he asked then. You answered with a shirt nod.

 

"And I kissed you."

 

Again you nodded. Minho started chuckling and ruffled your hair. You couldn't yell at him for that because you were too perplexed.

 

"I know I was completely drunk. But I have to admit I ment it serious. I would have told you now what I told you yesterday anyway."

 

Your eyes were stuck to the ground, your heart beating like a wild jungle drum.

 

"But I also have to admit that I don't think you're ready to be with me."

 

Now you looked up at him, your eyes widened and you being totally unable to say a single word.

 

"When I'm in a relationship I want the whole world to know about it. But after all this media fuzz I think you're not the type to make a relationship public. I mean just because you're called the scandal girl by the medias doesn't mean you're a scandal girl in reality."

 

"So you don't want me to...answer to your confession?", you asked him confused.

 

Again he laughed at you and ruffled your hair a second time. This time you were able to complain and slap his hand.

 

"Answer to me whenever you feel ready and whenever you are over the baggage you're carrying the whole time.", he told you and then slowly moved towards the door leading to the elevators.

 

"I don't know how long I can wait for your answer but if we miss each other then time just didn't want us to be." He smiled warm heartedly. "Well...that's it for now. Don't you have to go back and celebrate with the other girls?"

 

You two left together and when the elevator stopped at Minho's floor, he winked at you before he left. You simply waved back at him with a weak smile before he disappeared.

The moment the elevator's doors were about to close and you about to lose yourself in your thoughts again was disturbed by someone stopping the doors and intruding the elevator.

 

When you looked up to face the person, your mouth dropped open.

 

"Sangbum-oppa?"

 

"Are you with Lee Minho now?", he asked completely out of breath.

 

"W-what?"

 

"Are you with Lee Minho now, I asked. I saw you together. So tell me...are you together now?"

 

You blinked before you could move your lips.

 

The elevator already started moving again.

 

"W-why are you asking something like this?", you asked him very puzzled.

 

That was when Sangbum lost his patience, he stopped the elevator by pushing the emergency button.

 

"Just answer my question!"

 

You were shocked by Sangbum's anger, by his whole strange behaviour. What was wrong with him?

 

"You can't be with Lee Minho because you're desperate! He's not serious about you, so don't entrust yourself to a person like that! If you have to lose yourself in someone's arms to get over Cho Kyuhyun then pick someone who's responsible and serious about you!"

 

If Sangbum just knew how wrong he was about Minho. You were quite sure that Minho was serious about you since he had spoken to you before and made you think about your own sincerity about others and relationships.

 

Sangbum's accuse somehow angered you.

 

"That's nonsense!", you contradicted angrily as well and pushed the emergency stop button to make the elevator move again.

 

Sangbum grabbed your wrist with his left and hit his right hand again at the buttons, hitting lots of them but missing the emergency button.

 

"Do you even know what you get yourself into?", he asked you trough gritted teeth. The elevator meanwhile moved on and from the corner of your eyes you saw it moving to the lobby.

 

"I get myself into nothing because there's nothing! I'm not with Lee Minho, so calm down again and let me go! You've gone crazy!", you harshly told Sangbum who just glared at you. What the heck was wrong with that guy to act that strange?!

 

"There's nothing?" The anger in Sangbum's eyes slowly faded and he even thighed. You expected him to let go of you again but instead he just dragged you into his arms and....kissed you.

 

As his lips owned yours, you were more than shocked. This kiss was very different from the ones you got from Sangbum during drama recordings. His kiss tasted desperate, relieved and...even somehow sweet.

 

The elevator doors opened and the shouts from the lobby were telling you two were caught kissing.

 

"Kim Sangbum!", someone called and Sangbum immediately turned you around his body, hiding you behind his back.

 

You heard the clicking of masses of cameras, the shouts of the paparazzis and Sangbum telling them to leave him alone.

 

"Who's the girl you're hiding?!"

 

"He's got a girlfriend!"

 

"Show her to the world!"

 

"A scandal!"

 

You buried your face in Sangbum's shirt and grabbed the cotton as strong as possible, praying that no one had recognized you or taken a picture of you two kissing.

 

And while you were hiding behind Sangbum, he was in the center of attention until the security was coming to help get rid of the reporters who had camped around the hotel to finally get what they had waited for. A scandal.

 

 

The next day the newspapers were booming because of the news. Kim Sangbum's face was covering them but luckily nobody had taken a photo of you two kissing. Sangbum had reacted quick enough to prevent you from being seen. He just saved you from another scandal by dragging himself into this situation.

 

When you arrived back in Seoul even your unnies checked the news.

 

"Who's that? Kim Sangbum reported kissing someone? He's got a girlfriend?", Tiffany read out the news.

 

"Isn't that you?", Sooyoung asked you but even she couldn't figure out if the girl behind Sangbum was you for sure.

 

"No, that's impossible. She was with Lee Minho yesterday, wasn't she?", Yoona reminded Sooyoung.

 

But they all looked at you in wonder. You just gulped and shook your head, not caring about what your unnies were thinking about this reaction.

 

You just cared about Sangbum who was stuck in this scandal and you even blamed yourself for this outcome. But to be honest you didn't know how to help Sangbum without getting yourself involved in this mess.

 

A month had already passed but no change was in sight. The medias ripped Sangbum's whole image into little pieces. Since the drama was super successful and whole Asia was hyping it, critics were even harsher on him. The citizens called him a liar, even a cheater and thick faced.

 

It was the last recording day and Sangbum acted in front of you as nothing had happened. You two didn't even talk to each other after the kiss.

 

"Hey...____-ah...can we talk?.", Sangbum asked you after the last take was done.

 

"Uhm...yeah?"

 

"I know what happened between us was a bit awkward..."

 

"No, no!", you stopped him, "If you want me to confirm that the girl on the photos was me, I'll do it! I'm so sorry you went trough all of this alone!"

 

Sangbum looked at you in wonder but then started laughing.

 

"No.", he said. "No, no. I wanted to apologize. I don't know what was driving me to kiss you all of a sudden. I just...lost my temper somehow. It was all my fault that this happened so don't even think about getting yourself into this scandal, please. People will be even worse to you, if you try to help me now because they will accuse you of letting me hanging the past month."

 

He smiled at you and sighed.

 

"You know...I was very envious. I still am. The deep love you shared with Cho Kyuhyun. The close friendship you shared with Nichkhun. And then the night Lee Minho was with you. These guys have things I couldn't compete with. Maybe that's my way I can finally compete with them. By getting all the citizen's reactions on me to save you. This is my way to have something with you no one else has."

 

Sangbum laughed a bit sadly and you joined him.

 

"Sorry for bothering you. Don't mind about me and the scandal, I can handle that."

 

He turned around to go back to the dressing rooms. It made you sad seeing him like that after he bravely took all the responsibility for your kiss. He gave up his whole good reputation, his whole fame and the trust of his fans.

 

"Sangbum-oppa!"

 

"Hm?" He stopped and turned around.

 

"I want to drink some coffee. Do you want to join me?"

 

And on his bothered face which looked so tired because of the media fuzz appeared a bright smile.

 

---

So, how did you guys like this chapter? What do you think - is ____ really over Kyuhyun? How did you like that Minho lied to her about forgetting everything? And how do you like Sangbum?

I'm sorry this update took me so long again T_T I've had to take my univ exams the last two weeks, so I was busy. But now that I've got holiday, I'll be dilligently continuing on this story! And to prove it, I've got some teasers for you~

Teaser

"Just think about your future. Do you want to be forever with a guy like this?"

Drama. Was it really drama which you needed in a relationship? Seriously?

"The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him."

"How do you think this would ever work out, ____-ah? I'm with Tiffany now!"