„I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid!“, you told yourself over and over again after you got back home. You were alone at the dormitory because the other SNSD members all had their schedule tonight.

 

With a loud sigh you threw yourself on your bed and looked at the ceiling.

 

You felt bad because of Nichkhun...but your heart was pounding excitedly in your chest because of Kyuhyun's messagte to Nichkhun. You even caught yourself smiling over it.

It was so stupid...so stupid to have hope after all of this – and especially after Kyuhyun got together with Victoria. But the belief that Kyuhyun still loved you raised like an angry wave in your head and floated all your doubts.

 

After a while of thinking you took your smartphone and wanted to text Kyuhyun. Nichkhun's messages popped up at your display and reminded you to have a bad conscience, making you stop typing.

 

„...oh...“, you said and bit your lower lip. „Okay...maybe not today...“

 

 

This night was the first of many you had no nightmare and your enthusiasm was spreading all over when you arrived at the filming set the next day.

 

„Seems like your mind is not troubled anymore?“, Sangbum noticed after you two entered the building together.

 

„Haha, kind of.“, you answered to him while walking towards the dressing rooms.

 

„So you and your crush finally got together?“ Sangbum had a honest smile on lips lips though his words had some bitterness in them.

 

You were not able to react to this strange mixture of his reply because Nichkhun crossed your mind over and over again.

 

„Uhm...no.“, you answered which made Sangbum frown. The question mark was literally covering his face.

 

„Still you're a mystery to me...I doubt that I will ever understand you.“, he mumbled before he stopped and entered his own dressing room. You blinked and also stopped in front of his door, watching him closing it and even staying there for another few minutes. A mystery? You? No.

 

 

„Girls, I have to announce something. The manager unfortunatelly is busy today, so I have to tell you.“, Taeyeon shouted through the training room while every SNSD member seemed to be busy with something else than practicing.

 

Hyoyeon and Yuri were discussing about some solo acts, Yoona, Sooyoung and Sunny were talking about going out and getting some Kalbi tonight, Jessica, Tiffany and Seohyun were practicing some of their lines of your new japanese Single and you....you were standing at the door, sneaking outside, waiting for one of the Super Junior members to leave their training room, hoping you could meet Kyuhyun.

 

„We're invited to Mama this year.“, Taeyeon told everyone and suddenly all of you girls were looking at her.

 

„I've got the line-up here.“, she informed you.

 

„Who's also coming from SM?“, Jessica asked.

 

„EXO, f(x) and Super Junior .“, Taeyeon answered.

 

...f(x) and Super Junior . This ment that you would probably see Kyuhyun and Victoria together. Your mood just dropped like a stone into deep water. Sooyoung came over and dragged you away from the door. She knew what you were doing over there and her face showed how she thought about it. Not too good.

 

„Ugh, unnie~...!!!“, you whined but followed.

 

„So this means, we have to practice harder now. It's going to be something really big.“

 

And Taeyeon should be right.

 

 

After training you hurried into the van. The air outside was fresh and cold and you didn't want to end up sick.

The feeling which came up was new to you. Since you had started your life as an K-Idol you never got an award. Now being nominated as „Best Girlgroup of the year“ it felt really different. Plus you wanted to win over f(x). Over Victoria...!

 

Your phone was tearing you out of you thoughts. It was Kim Sangbum.

 

„Yoboseyo?“, you answered the phone.“

 

„___-ah, you heard about the MAMA awards?“, he asked you.

 

„Sure.“, you answered slightly.

 

„You also heard that we should make a couple appearance because of our drama?“

 

You nodded not thinking about that he wouldn't even be able to see it. „Yupp. And you saw that it's a tripple couple appearance?“

 

Sangbum was silent for the next moment, giving you the chance to go on speaking.

 

„Lee Minho-oppa already called me.“, you informed him.

 

He waited a while until he went on. The silence sounded like a thoughtful break of him.

 

„And who do you want to go with?“, Sangbum asked.

 

„I'll go with Minho-oppa. I mean...he's my husband so to say after all.“

 

„Ahhh...I see.“, Sangbum mumbled. „Well then...we'll see each other there.“

 

He hung up again. You looked at the display and frowned. What a strange reaction. Your filming partner somehow sounded pissed at the end of this phone call.

 

„Who was it?“, Sooyoung asked you and leaned over to see if the display still showed who called you a few seconds ago.

 

„Kim Bum-oppa.“, you answered to her and shrugged your shoulders. „He asked me about the Mama awards.“

 

„Ahh...and you'll go with Lee Minho-shi?“, Yoona asked you. She had turned around to join your conversation.

 

„Yupp. I guess that's the best idea. And WGM will end soon, so I don't want to refuse his request to accompany him.“, you told your unnies.

 

„Ah...you already got the date when you two will divorce then?“, Yoona joked.

 

„Yeah. It will end shortly after Mama.“

 

 

The drama was perfect. After you told your manager about the two actors asking you out for the Mama event he planned a drama triple constellation of you three. And there you went now, the drama starting at the airport when you were on the way to Tokyo.

 

Every SM group was followed by masses of paparazzi, and the most fuzz was made around SNSD because there were two guys surrounded by 10 beautiful ladies. Lee Minho and Kim Sangbum were in the center of Korea's girlgroup No 1 accompanying scandal girl No 1. The maknae.

 

Minho even made fun of the mass medias when you all took your seats in the airplane. He had checked the news at his smartphone to you girls.

 

„SNSD maknae and her ongoing male scandals.“, Minho read out. „Seriously...____-ah, I think you are the female idol with the most male idol scandals I've ever heard of.“

 

„Media loves her.“, Taeyeon commented and made the girls around her chuckle.

 

After SNSD had entered the airplane and took seats, Super Junior followed. The guys were passing you by and you noticed how each of them examined you being seated in the middle of Minho and Sangbum. When Kyuhyun entered the airplane your heart jumped excitedly and you had to think about his text message to Nichkhun again. Would he talk to you? Would you fing any sign in his eyes showing you how much he missed you? Would you get together again after MAMA?

 

„I heard that beautiful flowers are always surrounded by thorns...but thorns like that?“, Sungmin mumbled when he passed you by.

 

„Which flower? Can't see any here.“, Kyuhyun replied to his hyung's words and made you get angry and hurt at the same time. How could he be so rude now? Your hopes hurt badly.

 

„Said the pathetic frog who was rejected by the princess' kiss.“, Minho said monotonous but loud enough so everyone could hear.

 

„Who asked you for your opinion?“, Kyuhyun asked him through gritted teeth and stopped next to Minho's seat. Minho got up to be face to face with Kyuhyun.

 

„Who asked you to talk like that about my wife, huh?!“, Minho hissed back.

 

„Yah, yah!“, Donghae went between the two guys. „No fights in this airplane, okay?!“

 

„Hon, please call down!“ Your heart stopped beating when Victoria and the rest of f(x) troup was entering the plane and Victoria hurried to drag Kyuhyun away from Minho. „No need to be angry because of...“, Victoria looked straight at you,“...nothing.“

 

Nothing?! Did she really call you nothing?! You also wanted to get up but Taeyeon immediately shouted at you.

 

„Yah! Don't you dare!“

 

The EXO members filled up the area in the airplane soon, forcing f(x) and Super Junior to move on.

 

„Aish...! What was that guy's problem?!“, Minho muttered angrily while Sangbum exchanged views with you.

 

You had the bad feeling that Sangbum was able to look through this scenery like through an open book.

 

 

„Hey wifey, how about sharing a hotel room here like on our honeymoon trip?“, Minho asked when you arrived at the Tokyo airport in the late evening. He grabbed your hand and you felt as if you could already hear the cameras around you clicking.

 

„Yah! Don't say stuff like that! We didn't even really share beds!“

 

Minho replied with a short laugh. „One more reason to do it, isn't it?“

 

„Lee Minho-shi! If you try to seduce our maknae, we will have to punish you!“, Tiffany shouted from behind. She was close up to you with Sunny, Hyoyeon and Yuri who all started giggling.

 

„Yaaaah....can't I enjoy some time with my wife? I thought you all were on my side? Don't you too ship 'Flower Generation'?“, he playfully said.

 

You heard Sangbum sigh next to you.

 

 

The girls were seperated into two groups of 3 and one group of 4. Just as you were living in the dormitory rooms.

 

„We'll just stay here for three days but I wish we could stay longer...!“, Sooyoung whined after falling into the sheets of her bed. „I looooooove this soft bed!“

 

„Get up again, I'm hungry! Let's have some dinner at the hotel's restaurant!“, Taeyeon suggested, making Sooyoung whine again.

 

„I'll order roomservice...I want to stay heeeeeere...!“

 

Taeyeon grumped shortly but then looked at you and Yoona.

 

„Will you accompany me?“

 

Both of you nodded and then went downstairs to get something to eat.

 

The restaurant was huge and luxurious. The ceiling was at least 4 metres high and in the middle of the hotel there was a huge tree cunstruction with an integrated waterfall. All in all it looked extremely beautiful.

 

The three of you also met Yuri, Hyoyeon and Minho at the restaurant. They were already eating and when they saw you, Yuri waved at you to come over.

 

„Oh man, since I'm married to _____-ah, I'm always surrounded by beautiful women.“, Minho appreciated and clapped happily into his hands.

 

The girls let you take seat next to Minho and once you sat down, his hand just found its way on your knee. Even though you weren't a real couple he always acted as if.Sometime the skinship he looked for was way too much for you.

 

„I heard you two will seperate again soon. Will you miss our maknae?“, Yoona asked him.

 

„Sure I will!“, he answered. „I will miss all of you! It was so much fun to hang out with you girls! I feel like WGM was the best that could have happened to me!“

 

Of course Minho was profiting from the WGM appearance with you a lot. You two profited of it.

While Minho opened you the door to drama showbiz, you opened Minho's way to international success and blockbuster roles.

It was natural he would miss you. Nobody guaranteed him that his luck would go on once you parted.

 

„Maybe we will miss you, too.“, Hyoyeon said playfully.

 

„Maybe?“, Minho asked.

 

„Ah...if I think more about it...no, not too much.“

 

Minho pouted and caused laughters at your table. Laughters that died out when you noticed couple walking hand in hand through the hotel, choosing a table close to you guys.

 

Your fake husband immediately noticed how your whole body stiffened. He took his hand back and looked for the cause of this change in your body language.

 

„Ah...that guy again.“, he mumbled.

 

Minho didn't have to think twice about it until he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. The girls started giggling when they saw how you two acted, not even noticing that Victoria and Kyuhyun were in the restaurant, too.

 

„What's the thing going on between you and that Super Junior guy?“, Minho asked you.

 

„N-Nothing...we just don't get along very well.“, you lied straight to him.

 

Victoria got up from her seat to leave for the restrooms, so Kyuhyun was alone again. And that was the point when he finally saw that he wasn't the only SM idol having the idea to have a late dinner at the restaurant. He also saw how Minho had pulled you closer to him.

 

„C-Could you please...“, you asked Minho and tried to push him away but his grip was too strong.

 

„You're acting really weird.“, he said.

 

„I'm not weird! You are weird!“, you contradicted. Finally you were able to free you from his hands and got up.

 

„Sorry, I'll leave a moment for the restrooms.“

 

 

When you were on your way out, you didn't dare to enter the restrooms since Victoria was in there. So you just left the area inside to get some fresh air outside.

 

„Will your boyfriend not be upset about you hanging out like this with Lee Minho?“

 

The low voice, the warmth of it, the cold of it, the emotions in it, the everything of it made you wince, made your heart stop beating, made you gasp for air.

 

Kyuhyun had followed you outside.

 

You slowly turned around to face him and gulped, tasting nothing else than dryness and bitterness. His hostility was nothing that you had expected. You had excepted differently.

 

„I don't know what you mean. You successfully destroyed everything that might have ended up in a relationship between me and Nichkhun.“, you answered bitterly.

 

„Ah really?“, he asked . „Did he leave his hands off you after I told him to? This guy did not really love you at all then.“

 

The nuance of his voice got you upset at once. „Don't talk about Khun like that! You don't know what happened!“

 

Kyuhyun laughed when he heard you react like that. „So overprotective about that guy?“

 

„What's so wrong about being overprotective about my best friend?“

 

„He's not your best friend. He's just one of these guys gathering around you. One of the guys you'll use and drop then...you did that to him already, didn't you?“

 

His words hurt you. They were burning their way through your heart, leaving a deep ache. You felt how tears were filling your eyes.

 

„Stop it, Kyuhyun.“ Your voice was hoarse and shaky.

 

„Stop what? The truth? ____-ah, this is nothing else then my summary about your behaviour. You're collecting guys. You don't even really care about one single person except yourself! I'm so glad I broke up with you before, who knows how much I would have had to suffer after realizing it later? Maybe when it was too late? I am always wondering about how my life would look like if we had married when I asked you too. And I think I would be very unhappy...because everything that matters to you is this job. Is being an idol. That's it.“

 

Kyuhyun merciless turned around and left you behind. Again with a broken heart, broken hopes and broken soul.

 

 

When you got back to your friends, the dinner was already served but you weren't able to eat anything.

 

„____-ah eat! You can't affort to pass out tomorrow because you didn't eat properly!“, Taeyeon scolded you but all you could do was to look at your plate and try to prevent any tear rolling down your face.

 

Minho just laughed at it and patted your head. „It's okay, I like my girl with and without curves.“

 

„This is nothing about curves, this is about health!“,Taeyeon gave back and sighed.

 

You almost started crying when in the corner of your eyes you saw Kyuhyun and Victoria cuddling and even kissing. It broke your heart to see it like that and immediately you got up.

 

„I don't feel well...I'll go to bed now.“

 

The girls irritatedly watched you taking your leave.

 

„____-ah!“, Yuri called you but you just walked away.

 

At the elevators you pushed the buttons so violently, in hope it would make that stupid engine work faster, that your fingers started hurting. There was no way to hold back the tears. They ran down your cheeks hot and wet.

 

„Something is bothering you today.“

 

Minho had followed you and took your hands away from the elevator buttons.

 

„Stop that.“

 

You looked to the ground without saying anything and quickly wiped the tears away.

 

„Gee...let's get something to drink and see if I can fix my wife's troubled mind.“

 

 

The bar at the top floor was really dark and almost empty at this time. There were just a few business man gatering together and discussing while drinking.

 

„Gimme 10 Tequila Gold.“, your husband ordered.

 

„10? Are you crazy?“, you asked him in disbelief.

 

„No, but you need it, I can tell.“, he answered.

 

„Just give me one Strawberry Daiquiry.“, you ordered.

 

„But you know that you'll dring 5 of the Tequila shots?“, Minho reminded you.

 

„I'm not even thinking about it.“, you refused.

 

But in the end you ended up drinking all of them alone, one after another while Minho went on ordering, joining you drinking...until both of you got so wasted. You were so drunk after 2 hours that you two were hanging on the bar seats, laughing, yelling, misbehaving.

All your pain, the heartache and the thought of your cruel ex-boyfriend's words were forgotten at the moment. Alcohol really eased your pain. At least for now it did.

 

The people around you were wondering but Minho just told them that you were celebrating your wedding.

 

„And our divorce!“, you added.

 

„Aish! Don't speak...about divorce!“, Minho told you dizzily. „I don't even...wanna...think about it!“

 

„Ai...geeee...!“, you voiced out. „Don't be that pathetic, oppa...! It's not as if you and I have ever been a real couple...!“

 

Minho was silent and just took the last shot the bartender handed him.

 

„And that's what you and SuJu guy were? A real couple?“

 

His words hurt you. „...yes. But it ended when I joined WGM.“

 

Your depressive mind also infected Minho's joyful soul.

 

„Let's leave, ____-ah.“, he said and paid the bill.

 

You two tried your best to walk out of the bar without destroying anything and when you waited in front of the elevator, Minho bursted out with all of the thoughts which were troubling him.

 

„____-ah, don't divorce me.“, he begged you.

 

„That's not even my decision, you babo...!“, you told him and laughed.

 

„No...I don't want you to leave me. I'm serious...! I like you!“, Minho went on and approached you. „And I really can't stand it when I see how you and that SuJu guy are looking at each other. I swear I will never leave you, even if you join WGM again and kiss another guy!“

 

Your eyes widened, the insecurity was back. The pain. The thoughts. The memories. Everything.

 

„I don't know how this guy can be so hostile and why you broke up...but I know what I know...and that is that you are a really caring person. A cute person. A beautiful person. A good person. A person everyone should love and appreciate. So don't divorce me, ____-ah. Just don't.“

 

All of his words made you feel a bit less hurting. They were easing the pain. Easing the pain Kyuhyun's words had left.

 

„Can I love a person like this? Do you allow me to love you honestly?“, Minho went on talking drunkenly after you finally entered the elevator.

 

He pushed the button to the floor he was living at but didn't push the button to yours.

 

„Oppa, you forgot something.“, you laughed and wanted to push it but Minho grabbed your hand and pressed you against the mirror wall of the elevator.

 

„Stay with me tonight.“, he demanded. „I will miss you so much after we will part. Just give me this one chance to prove you that being married with me is the best which can happen to you.“

 

„Oppa...you don't know what you're saying...“, you mumbled but Minho gently pressed his forefinger on your lips.

 

„Pssht...“, he made. „Please forgive me for doing this...but since I kissed you first...I missed the taste of your lips.“

 

Once his finger was gone, his lips were following. His hands searched their way to your waist, pulling you towards him while he was kissing you passionately. His sweet breath, the scent of his body and the strong taste of alcohol made your head even more dizzy and losing all of your control. You lost it all and grabbed Minho's shoulder, joining his kisses, pulling him even closer to you.

 

The next things you could remember was the sound of his suite's door crushing open, the shady light in his bedroom, your clothes covering the ground and his heavy weight on you. The heat of his body covering yours was making sweat the only thing between your bodies. His passionate kisses let you lose all your senses and this night became nothing else than a blurred memory.

 

 

Your nose was tickling when the sun covered your face. You turned around, feeling an arm being wrapped around you. And then you remembered again.

 

With shock you opened your eyes, seeing the peaceful sleeping Lee Minho next to you.

 

„Oh , , ...!“, you mumbled in panic and slipped out of his arms.

 

Quickly you collected all of your clothes and get dressed again. Minho was still snoring happily and even though he looked ultimately attractive sleeping like that, you felt so stupid, so bad, so guilty. What the hell made you sleep with your fake husband last night?!

 

The next thing you noticed where roomservice orders all spread in the suite. Empty plates which made you remember how you two ate strawberrys, fed each other with pasta and then went on with another round of hot and wild...

 

„Oh my gooooosh...“ You didn't even want to end the thought and especially didn't want to remember how Minho touched you, where he kissed you, what he told you and how you reacted to all of this.

 

You bit your underlip and left the suite. Slowly you closed the door behind you, hoping that you would not be caught by anyone sneaking out of Lee Minho's suite.

 

„____-ah!“

 

Oh crap!

 

You turned around and faced Sangbum.

 

„Isn't that Minho-shi's...?Omo....___-ah did you...?“

 

---

Heyho chingus~!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to finally update this ff T_T But I swear I wasn't lazy! While you waited for the next update, I was diligently rewriting the first 18 chapters of this ff! So if you miss this fanfiction and can't wait for another update, how about starting from the beginning and enjoy the story in a new, different way? I'm still working on the old chapters, so next time I'll update (I hope that will be soon), you will be able to read more new - old chapters~!

Hwaiting~!