The sound of your smartphone was wildly trilling through the Super Junior dormitory, not even thinking about stopping. The ringtone went on and on until your eyes were finally wide opened.

You were laying right next to somebody, leaning on the person's chest. When you looked up you realized that it was Leeteuk. He had one of his arms wrapped around you and a thin blanket covered both of you.

His eyes also started blinking until they were slowly opened completely.

„What's with that noise?!“, Kyuhyun huffed. He turned halfway around, nearly dropping off the sofa. His body had been in embryo position the whole time until he moved so his body gave some really hurting sounds of it.

You quickly jumped up and got your phone.

„Yoboseyo?“

„WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!“

The mad voice boomed from one side of your head to another. Even Kyuhyun and Leeteuk were able to hear the SNSD manager shouting at you.

„Huh? Uhm...wha-what's wrong?“, You asked shily, insecure and even scared of his angry voice.

„Where the heck are you?! Who are you to think you are famous enough to skip all your Saturday classes?! Kim Tae Hee?! BoA?!“ Your manager sounded really upset and you gulped nervously.

Shoot...you totally forgot about the weekend schedules. Of course there were some but all the fuzz around meeting Leeteuk and being alone the weekend made you forget about everything.

„Where have you been the whole time?!“, he repeated again, now very inpatiently.

„I...uhm...“ Your eyes wandered to Leeteuk who kept an eye on you. It would be wrong to tell your manager that you were at the SuJu dormitory. And getting the guys into trouble was your last intention. „I'm out, jogging right now...I'm very sorry...I forgot about the schedules and stayed at the dormitory the whole day.“, you explained, hoping that the manager had not been to the SNSD dorm to check where you had been.

„Come over to the SM-Office! You skipped almost all of your saturday schedules, you ! And there are some very important meetings we have to make up!“ The manager had a go on you and you were shocked by his words.

„O-Okay. I'll be there just in time...!“

The manager hung up without another word. You didn't know if you were happy about him not swearing at you anymore or if his silence should bother you even more.

„Oh crap...“, you mumbled desperately and rubbed your cheeks. Outside it was already dark and when you looked at the display of your smartphone it revealed the actual time to you. 8PM.

„What's wrong?“, Leeteuk asked you. He also got up from the sofa, stretching and yawning a bit.

„It was my manager...I skipped today's schedules...I totally forgot about it!“

„You're really dumb, aren't you?“, Kyuhyun commented before he started laughing at you. You gave him an angry look but grabbed all your belongings and made your way out of the dormitory as quick as possible. Leeteuk followed you.

„Hey,______-ah, shall I drive you to the SM-Office?“, he offered and you accepted it more than thankfully.

Leeteuk let you out of the car before you reached the office. He was afraid your manager would wait in front and once he saw you hanging out with him and skipping you schedules while spending time with the Super Junior members, he would forbid you to go on being friends with them.

Your manager really was waiting in front of the building so Leeteuk's worries rescued you.

„There you are, girl! Come on, you have to practice!“ The manager dragged you inside.

You didn't get any punishments but you had to stay at the office and catch up some of your missed lessons so you stood there until midnight.

When you arrived back at the SNSD dorm nothing else but silence and loneliness awaited you. You immediately started missing the boys around you, missing the girls around you.

Very exhausted you went to the bedroom and without taking a shower, you threw yourself on your bed to check the new syllabus of the upcoming week. Today you missed a very important meeting with your stylists. Damnit. So this was one of the things you had to catch up on Monday morning. And what you had to sacrifice for this make up meeting was very displeasing to you.

Monday lunch time, was no lunch time for you. You had to eat in less than 5 minutes because there was no time and then you had to go back to meet the stylists with your manager. Your hope to meet Leeteuk during break was therefore completely destroyed. And that was not even the worst.

The manager and you met the stylists in one of the practice rooms that was empty during break time. And they brought one more person with them. A surgeon. A plastic surgeon.

Together they were examining you, thinking about ways to change your appearance.

„She will be a main rapper and singer.“, the manager told the stylists and the surgeon.

„Then maybe we should give her a more mature look? Something y?“, the surgeon suggested, already taking out a pen he could draw with in your face.

„No, no, that would completely mismatch to the original SNSD concept. It has to be something cute and innocent.“, one of the stylists said.

„But rapping is not cute and innocent. I think we should cut her hair short, give her some y curves and then let her be a femme fatale. The female G-Dragon. Even better than CL.“, the other stylist said.

You were shocked by their words and even more shocked that they treated you like a puppet. You didn't have the right to say something against it. You didn't have the right to call out your own suggestions and opinion. You had to remain silent, letting them do whatever they thought was right.

And that's all because of the contract you had signed before.

„But that's YG style, we are SM. That's just not appropriate.“, the manager finally voiced out.

„Then make her a SNSD Amber. The tomboy of the group.“

All of you were silent now. Your eyes had widened, your mouth had dropped. What the...?!

„No, I would not suggest that.“, the surgeon said. „That would be a waste of her natural beauty. We should try to profit as much as possible of her. Then rather make her y but innocent instead of making her a tomboy. That would be such a waste.“

And so they went on discussing about your face, body shape and image. Drawing stuff into your facee, changes of your body on paper and designing the concept of the new you.

When you were finally released, the markings of the pen were still remaining on your eyes, nose, lips and chin. You took a deep breath when you walked down the hallway, heading for the girls restrooms to wash off all of them.

What you saw in the mirror was scaring you. Yes, you were afraid to death. And it felt like you were about to suffocate. Tears of shock and fear fell down your cheeks, the reflection of yourself and all the markings on your face just showed you the bitter reality. You would never be able again to look into the mirror and see you inside of it. It would be someone else...

The markings still remained, no matter how much you tried to wash them off. You ruffled your hair frustratedly and screamed of anger. Why was this not going off?!

Your head was filled with more thoughts than you could deal with now. You rushed outside the room to get some fresh air and bumped into a bunch of people. Ungently you landed on your .

„Yah! What are you doing again?“ Kyuhyun looked down at you.

When you looked up, you realized that you directly ran into Kyuhyun, Sungmin and Donghae, who were on their way to their training room. They looked back at you, devastated by the look you offered to them.

Your hair was messy, the face dripping wet, your eyes burning red because of the tears you already lost and then there were the remains of the plastic surgeon's pen.

„Hey...everything alright?“ Sungmin stood right next to Kyuhyun and gave you a worried look.

„Fresh air...I need some fresh air...“,You said sobbing, got quickly up and tried to walk away but Kyuhyun grabbed your wrist.

„The hell is wrong with you?!“, Kyuhyun asked you aggressively.

„Let go of me! I don't want to tell you!“, You barked but he didn't let you go.

„Tell me and I let you go!“

„Aniyo!“

„Do it!“

„ANIYO!“

You tried to escape but failed. Both of you started to get into a fight, push and pulling each other until Kyuhyun decided to just go for it and grab your face itself. You kept quiet then, blinking at him, seeing him examining your face just as the stylists and surgeon had done before.

„Plastic Surgery?“, He asked and started laughing. „You're upset because of a plastic surgery? Everyone of us had one...!“

„How can you laugh about something like that?!“, You sobbed but now got really angry at him.

„Aww...little girl...be happy to get one. An ugly duck leaves and a beautiful swan will come back.“ Kyuhyun was still laughing but you were so insulted by his words that you hit him right in the face with your free hand. His laughters silenced, his hands lost its grip on you and he looked at you in pure shock.

„You call me ugly duck? You say it's okay? You know what, Cho Kyuhyun? I really do hate you! AND IT'S NOT OKAY AT ALL!!!“, you screamed furiously and ran away.

„________-ah!“, Sungmin shouted after you but you didn't stop. „Jeez! Did you have to say something like that to here?!“

He hurried after you, letting a still shocked Kyuhyun behind.

Sungmin found you in one of the rooms which were unlocked. You were sitting in a corner like a picture of misery.

With very slow and insecure steps he was approaching you, after he quietly shut the door behind him.

„_______-ah...“, Sungmin whispered.

„Go away!“, You told him. Noone should see you crying over that right now. Kyuhyun's words had just proven you how much they all cared over a real, natural face. Nothing. And nobody would feel the same way like you. They would have no understanding for neither your anger nor your tears.

„Hey...it's okay to cry...“, Sungmin assured you as if he was reading your mind. He sat down next to you and gently hugged you, causing you to start crying out loud, losing yourself in a row of sobs and ununderstandable words. You covered your face with your hands because you didn't want him to see your ugly crying face.

„Shh...“, He tried to calm you down and took your hands out of your face so that he could look you right into your eyes. „It's okay, it's okay...“

„It's not okay...! I'll never be me again...and what if something goes wrong...when I look really, really ugly in the end. I'm afraid, Oppa! What will happen to me?“

Sungmin patted your head softly, giving a a gentle smile.

„You won't look ugly in the end, I promise. And I'm sure everyone will see _____ -ah still as _____-ah.“

He wiped your tears away and cleared his throat.

„Like Kyuhyun-ah said before...we all had at least one plastic surgery. You think my eyes looked like that when I was born? I looked like every other korean guy. Maybe even more ugly...and now I'm handsome, ain't I? I mean...who could say no to a guy like me?“

You started chuckling helplessly over his words. „You've way too much self-confidence.“

„You mean I'm ugly?“ Sungmin asked you as if you had offended him badly. He pouted and made you even laugh a bit.

„No, I've never said that! I think nearly every korean guy is handsome.“

„Ouch...then there is no one special to you? Everyone is the same handsome to you?“ When he said that you thought about Leeteuk. He was very, very handsome...and gentle...maybe...

„Not exactly but there's no one special to me.“, You lied to Sungmin and he smiled brightly.

„That's nice to hear.“, He said.

„Really? Why?“, You wondered but he only chuckled and shook his head without giving a satisfying answer.

„When is your plastic surgery?“, he asked instead.

„Tomorrow morning...“, You responsed.

„I see...well, then I've got a good idea.“

Sungmin took his smartphone and held it up in the air. Was he about to take a selca?

„I take a picture of both of us. So we'll never forget how you looked like before. Can you smile for me?“

You laughed but nodded. „You mean, we'll never forget how ugly I looked while crying...but okay, I'll smile... just for you!“

And with the best smile you could give him right at that moment you two took a photo.

The last memory of your real face.