ZICO's POV

 

"What are you doing here? Something's bothering you?" I was shock to see her. She didn't tell me she's going to visit.There's only one reason why she's here without telling me, she needs someone to talk to.

Actually, that was our routine for this past two months. After her accident and she lost her memories, the doctor told us to stay with her as it will help her gain her memories. At first, I was hesitant but this is something I needed to do for her. What happened to her was my fault.

We told her we were in relationship and we broke up. But we didn't tell her yet the reason why we broke up. It is something that will not be good for her. So slowly, we became friends again much as to Jiyong-sunbae's dismay. He doesn't like it. I understand though. But if this is something I can do to atone the things that I have done to her then I can live with sunbae's death glare and cursing.

So to cut the story short, whenever she has something bothering her, she always go to me. I was always the first one she'll go to. Well, it is just because she's too shy to talk to with Jiyong-sunbae and the Bigbang members while Daniel and Hye Sun doesn't give her enough information.

"You don't talk to me like that Jiho-ah..I am a noona.,who the hell gave you the right to call me just by my name.." she raised one of her brows.

I chuckled, "Mian, noona." I emphasized the word noona. "I forgot that only Jiyong-sunbae is allowed to not call you noona."

Then I saw it. Sadness. It flashes to her eyes. It was so quick that you won't notice it if you're not looking at her eyes. This is the first time I saw that this past 2 months. I haven't seen that again until today. I scrunched my face. She might have notice it.

"Why?" she asked me.

"Noona...are your...memories back?"

That's it. She smiled but tears fall from her eyes. I immediately run to her and hugged her. I don't know if I will be happy or not. If her memories are back then she already knew what I did to her. But why is she here?

"Then why are you here?" I asked but I am still hugging her.

She punched me on my back, "What? Just because I gained my memories back, I am not welcome here anymore?"

"No..no..that's not what I meant. I mean...the things I have done..." I stopped I don't want to remember it again. I already regret that.

"Tch...not because I got my memory back, I already forgot what you did for me this past two months." she said. Smile is evident in her voice. "But you got a lot of explaining to do, young boy"

Alright. I think all the efforts I have done for her this past months really paid off. She doesn't hate me anymore. Well, I think I need to explain everything now. I released her from my hug and we sat down the sofa.

"I was thinking. I thought I already believe what you say before about that bet of yours. But when I look back at the things that you did for me when I haven't got my memories back yet, it was contradicting. Please enlighten me." she said.

"Araseo, noona. I'll explain. But before that.." I hold her hands and look into her eyes. "I wanted to say sorry to what I have done. It was too much. I should not have done that. But that's the only way I can think of so that you will hate me. Because knowing you, I know you'll only blame yourself  and hate yourself which I don't want to. Mianhaeyo, noona."

Confusion were written all over her face. "Araseo, I'll start from the very beginning."

She nodded.

"Alright. First, I lied to you. I told you before that I know who owned your heart right? But I told you I don't know who he was but the truth is I know. Because I know you will not give me a chance if I told you that I know."

Her face look shocked but she didn't comment. She let me go on with my story.

"So, yeah, you gave me a chance. I know you tried to forget about him. I was happy back then when I followed you in US. When you chose to be with even he asked you stay. I thought, you finally moved on. But as days and months go by, when you started spending your time with him again, I realized, I will never be at par with him."

I saw her opening , "Let me finish first, noona" I cut her off and she nodded.

"I love you too much that I began to be selfish. Though I know how you feel about him, I still tried to get your attention away from him. Until one day, I visited you at YG. You knew I will be visiting you. But I decided to come early to surprised you. However, I was the one who was surprised. I saw you in the recording studio."

Her face turn into a grim. My hand closest in a tight grip. I can still feel the pain that I felt that time.

"He's with you. He was about to kiss you. I wanted to go inside, stopped what he was about to do and punched him. I was so mad but Seungri-ssi arrived so I just hid myself. I decided not to show myself to you. Well, what happened next, you already knew it. I drunk myself to the alcohol. You found me on the bar. We fought. I accidentally hurt you."

I looked her face and I can still see a glimpse of the wound ,though it is now a scar, I made because of the shattered glass. You cannot see it without looking at it closely. Good thing it was not that deep that the scar was almost invisible to the eye.

"I was so mad at myself that time. I regret it right away. But being jealous made me an irrational guy. At first, I was detemined to make you mine. But whenever I look into your eyes, I can see sadness. I can never give you happiness. I realized, it was my fault. I was the one who keeps on forcing myself to you. So I started distancing myself to you. Make you feel like I don't care anymore. Make you feel that I don't love you no more. So that when we broke up, you'll end up hating me and not yourself. So that you will be free to love him. And then the night that changes it all happened."

I closes my eyes as I remember all the hurtful things I did to her.

"I'm really sorry, noona. It was so hard for me to do that, believe me. When I saw your injured hand that night, I wanted to mend it. When I saw how your head bumped on the stool, I hesitated to go. But my plan will not push through, if I do that. So although it hurts to see you like that, I went through my plan. And that was my biggest mistake, because of that everything was ruined. I am really sorry, noona." 

And as a cry baby herself, I saw her crying again. I hugged her and caresses her back.

"Shhh.,noona.,don't cry."

"I'm sorry, Jiho...I-i..it was really my fault. God knows...how I..tried..Jiho...I swear I loved you too..," and she breakdown. I hugged her more tightly. My tears are threatening to fall as well. You don't know how much I wanted to hear that she loves me too. But I know it wasn't enough. Because at the end of the day, it was always him.

"See...this is exactly why I don't want to tell you. I know you'll blame yourself." I face her to me. "Noona...it is not your fault. It is never a crime to fall in love. You love him and that's something that I should not blame you for. We can never choose who to love. I know and feel that you love me too. But I know it will never be enough. Because we all know who owned your heart" a tear fall from my eyes.

With that, she was the one who hugged me now. She keeps on whispering her sorry. She's really stubborn. We stayed like that for like few more minutes until she calmed down. When she stopped crying, I faced her to me again.

I looked into her eyes, "Now...go get your man. It is something you should have done a long time ago."

She smiled sadly but she nodded. I don't know if she agreed with me or not. I am not pretty sure of what that sad smile means. Whatever she planned to do, I hope she made the right decision.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JIYONG's POV

 

I was about to sleep when I heard our doorbell rings. I looked at the time, it was already late. Who is this person coming here this late hour?

I unwillingly went to the door. I don't have any choice as I am alone right now. Dami-noona is out-of-the-country and my parents are at Dolce Vita right now. I looked at the monitor and was surprised to see who it was. I blinked several times thinking I might be hallucinating. But, no, she was still there. I opened the door right away and now I am face to face with her. This is not a dream.

"Annyeong?" she said while staring at my body. Did I tell you I am just wearing a jogging pants without anything on top?

"Eherm.." she looked up at me "Kay-ah? What are you doing here?"

She blushed and she looked away from me, "Oh..I'm sorry. I...well...never mind. I'll just go home."

She turned around, about to leave but I immediately grab her arm. "Hey.." she looked at me. "I was just surprised. Come inside."

I pulled her in and closes the door. Still I am confused why she's here but who am I to complain. I grinned secretly. I let her sit on our sofa and told her to just stay there. I went to my room and grab a shirt to wear. I breathe deeply before going back to the living room.

"So...what's going on? It was so unlikely of you to come here in the middle of the night. Is there a problem?" I asked.

"I..i just can't sleep. I was suddenly craving for a ddeokbokki. So I went out and found a store near my dorm. Then I remembered you and decided to pay you a visit." she said and she showed me the ddeokbokki she bought. "I thought you would like it too."

I stared at her. Observing her every action. Something has changed on her. What was it?

"Y-you don't like it?" she asked.

"Ani..I actually like it. One of my favourite. Let me.,I'll put it on a plate." I said as I get the food from her.

I went to our kitchen and put the ddeokbokki on a plate. When I went back on the living room, I saw her leaning on the backrest of the sofa with eyes close. I was just standing here, staring at her. Thinking how long it has been since she visited our house. It was nice to see her sitting on our sofa like before. I miss this.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" I got back to my senses when I heard her voice. 

"Mian.."

I walked towards the living room and put the plate on the center table. I sat beside her and she started to eat one.

"Mmmm..I miss eating this.," she looked at me and put one on my mouth which surprised me, I almost choked.

"Gwaenchana? Mian.,."

"It's okay"

There's really something going on. Something's really different. Then I noticed it. She's...she's not awkward anymore. What happened? Should I keep my hopes up? Did she got her memories back?

"Kath...did you...by chance...get your memories back?"

She blinked innocently and shook her head. I sighed in disappointment. I thought her memories are back.

"But how come...I mean...you're no longer awkward."

"Aissh.," she reacted then looked down. "Why do you need to remind that? I am trying here you know."

How stupid of me to remind that. Now she's being awkward and shy again. Really had a way to ruin the atmosphere. Pabo-ya, Kwon Jiyong.

"Mian..so.,w-what you want to do?" I asked trying to ease her awkwardness.

"Movie marathon?"

"Alright. I have lots of movies here. You can choose any." I showed her my movie collection. I remember we always do movie marathon before.

"Oh..I like this...50 First Dates.."

I looked at her incredulously. This is the 3rd time we will be watching the movie. Is she not over with this movie?

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing." I lied.

We started watching the movie while eating the ddeokbokki she bought. I also brought out cans of beer for us to drink. But I specifically told her she is only allowed two cans of beers. Nothing more than that. Her tolerance to alcohol is really low. She started sitting on the floor instead of the sofa. I took out a blanket and pillow from my room so we will comfortable on the floor. The light's off, our only light was the light coming from the TV. Without her noticing, I keep on glancing on her. I smiled inwardly when I saw how focus she is with the movie. What's funny was she had seen the movie for several times already. The first one she told me was years back when she was still