KATH's POV

I don't know when it started. Was it when I knew my feelings for him? Or was it when I got my memories back?

Instead of being my usual positive, perky, happy-go-lucky self, I am being my unusual pessimist, emotional self. And I hated myself because of it.

To answer my own question, I guess it's the combination of both.

When I realized my feelings for him, I was getting conscious with how I will behave when I am with him. That two weeks with him is a torture. Not because I am not happy. I am happy. It's just that I am not as comfortable as before. I was afraid my feelings will show even with just small gestures from me. I started to overthink. And that was not a good sign. That day when I was sick and he got mad and accused me of being on a date instead of practicing, I decided to set aside my feelings for him. I don't want to break the friendship and that is the most important thing for me.

But.......

My childhood memories got back. It is what I am wishing for. But, hell, that's when this emotional side of me got worst. Now I am wishing, it is better not to have it back. Because of that memories, I started to overthink again. I started to read him. I analyze every thing he is doing for me. I started to expect something from him. I started to assume, anticipate. All because of this damn memories, of that effing promise!!!

So here I am, stuck in a club, with Bigbang, Kiko and the staff, for their after party. Drinking. Yes, drinking. There's no Jiyong trying to stop me from drinking because my tolerance in alcohol is low. Because he is busy partying and busy with his guest, Kiko.

Though there's TOP, Taeyang and Daesung who are always trying to stop me from drinking. But since I am stubborn, they can't stop me. Especially, Seungri willingly gives me alcohol to drink.

How many glass of Tequila Sunrise did I drink? I lost count anymore. But what's intriguing is I am not drunk yet. A bit maybe but not like when I drank beers. I guess cocktail is different from beers.

So, yeah, while others are partying and trying to mingle with everyone, here I am on the table just drinking and watching everyone. Well, more of watching him.

TOP is with me. And I am thankful that he is staying here at the table with me. Though he is talking to someone. He introduce him to me but I forgot his name.

I sipped again on my nth cocktail while staring at Jiyong and that fish. I am pissed of. I remember how he introduced me to that fish.

"Hyung!! Won't you introduce noona to Kiko-san?" Seungri asked.

"Oh! Sorry...How rude I am not to introduce someone you don't know." he said.

'Someone you don't know?' Ha...Really, Kwon Jiyong.

"So Kiko this is Kath-ssi, my...."

"Oh, she's the one that got partnered with you in Kpop Star right?" Kiko interrupted.

"Ah, yes, my partner in Kpop Star"

'Partner?' Uhmmp...is that how you will introduced me? Okay, so this is what I am to you.

I drink my cocktail straight until it is no more. Remembering that makes me so emotional. So I was on the brink of crying that time. Good thing I held it in and I should held it again now.

I look at TOP but he was still talking to someone.  I was about to asked him if he could order me another cocktail. But what TOP is doing is kinda weird. When we first arrived here, his attention was all on me but after he went to the restroom his attitude changed. Well, he is still attentive when it comes to me but I guess it is lesser. Strange. Or maybe I am just drunk now that's why I am a bit sensitive.

So I stand up without telling TOP. And that's when I realized that I am drunk. I cannot stand still. My surrounding is spinning a bit. But I know I can still walk and I can still drink. So I walked to the bar. Almost stumbling down, nonetheless I was able to reached it.

"One Tequila Sunrise please!" I said to the bartender.

While waiting for my drink, I spotted Seungri flirting with girls.

"Typical Seungri" I said as I shook my head.

I look around and saw Taeyang talking to Teddy and Kush without any drinks on his hand.

"What a good boy" I muttered.

I look around again and found Daesung in the corner with a drink on his hand and just dancing on his own.

"So his habit when drunk is true" I laughed at that.

I glanced at TOP. There he is on the table still having conversation with someone.

"He's really handsome, my original Bigbang bias" I sighed thinking that maybe it would be much better if it is TOP who I fell in love with.

"Your drink ma'am" the bartender said.

"Thanks" as I get my drink.

I wanted to go back to our table but I am afraid I will stumble so I just sat on the stool here at the bar. While sipping my drink, I glanced at Jiyong. I thought I saw him looking at me before looking back at Kiko. Well, maybe my imagination.

So, there he is, still with the fish. Tch...I thought they broke up. Are they together again? Uhmmp..

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