http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lvXKt8aUVY

~*~ Yunho’s P.O.V.~*~

I stared into a blank space as I little by little, tried to absorb what Changmin said. Up to now, I still couldn’t believe it. Changmin was in love with Junhae. It’s been bothering me all day, actually. I just couldn’t figure out why. The whole day I felt so awkward around Changmin and Junhae. It was as if I was… jealous…

I couldn’t understand why. I was irritated by Junhae, wasn’t I? Why do I care about her, now? Couldn’t it be that I like her too and I’m jealous of Changmin because I know that he’s such a good shot to Junhae since he’s always been very nice to her? Am I THAT insecure of him? I have to admit, our maknae has always been cute (for most ladies) and he has good looks, not to mention his height, damn, he’s 2 inches taller than me! And if I were to be compared to Changmin in terms of treating Junhae nicely, I have to admit, he was better than me…

Besides, I can’t possibly like her right away, when I've just suffered from the loss of my girlfriend, right?

’Damn, if this continues… I’m sure my heart’s going to explode!’ I thought as I let out a sigh.

I snapped out of my thoughts to arrange my things. I’m currently rooming with Jaejoong, so I should keep my things tidy. I opened my bag to stuff my things in it, when a box caught my eye

It was Ara’s anniversary gift for me. I haven’t opened it since the day she died. I’ve always reused to look at it, because it was hard to accept that she’s gone, but of course, I had to face my fears too and she made an effort to make our last anniversary wonderful. So, I lifted the lid up to see a scrapbook in it. I got it out of the box and opened it to see lots of pictures of us together.

There was a pages of things that she wanted to do one of which was meet the love of her life and under that label was a picture of me, which made me smile and another was get married, but nothing was under it, since she died at a very young age.

I flipped the page to see a message from her.

Dearest Yunho-oppa,

By the time you’re reading this, I’m sure I went away to give back, what I’ve just borrowed from God. You may be sad because I left you and for that I’m very sorry. I’m sorry for making you lonely and for not being able to fight my illness.

I hope you understand, because I’m very tired already and I wanted to rest. All those medications and regular check ups made me really tired, oppa…

At first, when I found out that I had leukemia, I really thought it wasn’t fair. I wanted to be with you some more. Everything was starting out wonderfully between us…

I hated to leave you too and resented God for making my life short. But in the end, I realized that our life isn’t really ours, it is God’s and he only lent it to us. We were fortunate enough to be able to have it even if it isn’t ours forever…

In my very short life, I’ve met you and for that I’m very thankful. You never gave up on me and made me smile. I knew it hurt you to see me weak and to hear me give up, and for that I’m sorry.

I thank you so much, oppa, for making my short life very memorable.

I love you so much, oppa and I always will. I’ll always watch over you…

Life was extremely short for me, oppa… But it isn’t for you…

I hope you’ll make yours memorable and live it to the fullest, so you’ll live a life without regrets, just like how I lived mine.

I hope you’ll find the love of your life. I know there’s a wonderful girl out there, who will love you for who you are. So, when you find her, treat her well, okay? Love her just like how you loved me, or even better, love her more than you even loved me.

I love you so much, oppa. Goodbye and good luck with life…

With so much love,
Ara <3
 

Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I knew I wasn’t hurting for her loss anymore. I was happy she’s okay. I was happy that my Ara is in heaven now and she’s not hurting anymore because of leukemia. I was happy that she’s finally rested and she’s happy now where ever she is…

Her letter also made me realize things. I was in love with Kang Junhae. Kang Junhae is the girl, who’s been treating me nicely and accepting me for who I am. Kang Junhae is different, truly different from all the rest and for that I learned to love her even when I thought at first she was truly annoying.

I want to confess to her, but I knew it will be hard. I have to consider Changmin’s feelings too and of course, respect her on whoever whom she’ll chose between the two of us.

A.N. Okay, So, What do you think? I hope you like it! I’ll try to update fast because I only have a few days left of summer. My classes will start on June 7. I’m not allowed to use the computer on school day, unless needed for school stuff, so I’ll be able to update once a week starting next week. I also need to focus on my studies. Our master and instructors would look at our grades and if I get low grades, I will be suspended from TaeKwonDo. I really don’t want that to happen and of course, I would like to get good grades to have nice school records so I’ll be accepted in a nice university when I go to college.

I hope you understand if I won’t be able to update fast anymore.

See ya on my next update!~

Thanks so much to everyone who read, subscribed and commented! J

With love
~Kei-chan <3