I ran like the world is in the middle of eclipse the moment I finished the test. I could say, I can really answer all the questions and thanks to Krystal who gave me special tips the day before. Once I reached the court, all the boys already there, and I spotted Myungsoo the captain with Kris on his side. They waved at me. 

“Big match coming,” Kris reminded as he bent on his knee-stretching. “Our big enemy will visit us here, Ber. Don’t you know?”

I nodded then. “Of course, Haerang High School is our archenemy since decades ago. I read about them before in school’s gallery, out of 15 final matches, they won. We only won the championship twice,”

“Plus, we were lack of facilities in previous season. As you can see, audience’s seat just had been fixed and we’ve got two new locker rooms with mini gym inside. I think Head Master and couch expect us to do something big this season,” Myungsoo added- blowing amount of an air from his mouth, “This had stressed me out,”

Kris slightly tapped his shoulder and soothed, “Come on, Myung. We still have a week, with special Amber here and that’s really mean, we can make the dreams come true. Please don’t say you are given up already,”

I just looked at Myungsoo’s face and thinking of what Kris just said was totally right, minus that ‘special Amber’ part.  It’s too much to describe me. Then I joined Kris to calm our captain,

“Yeah, I’m thinking the same too. We all gonna do our best. We are team-mates; we play together and stay together. Winning or losing is not an option for us- because we’re seeking for the best match where we’re gonna enjoy it and people will love it. I’m sure this season’s trophy will be handed to us again and you will be the one who lift the triumph,” I managed to say and flashed a hundred percent confident smile. Kris clapped his hands and thumbs up.

“Gosh, that’s the real speech of victory. I can feel it,” he joked.

Finally, Myungsoo’s face light up and he tapped our shoulder repeatedly; “Thanks guys, I wish the same too…” three of us exchanged a meaning smile before Kris shifted his gaze towards the court’s entrance. Both Myungsoo and I did the same.

 It is Krystal- walking into the space, hugging the books closed to her chest and took the front row seat. I watched her and curved a smile. With her presence her, I should do better in this evening practice right? Let this princess see, how cool I am playing basketball…

I think all my team-mates astonished by my sudden powerful energy as I played like there’s no tomorrow, give all myself out into the practice. Yeah, the reason is there, my beautiful friend who is sitting at the audience seat- watching us with her calm look. For the final round, I managed to score 40 shoots and that made Kris dropped his jaw. He clapped and sticks out his hand for a shake to me. I gladly took it with a big smile then.

“You’re really meant your speech before, Amber. I’m touched,” he muttered, wiping the sweats on his face. “I hope you can transfer some of your, you know, energy booster to me. I’m bad at that, dude,” I saw Myungsoo chuckled at Kris’s whine.

“Don’t worry, Kris. All you need is adrenaline and someone special in your heart,” I replied and drank a bottle of water. I steal a glance at Krystal and caught she’s watching us, chinning up with her blank expression. I don’t have any idea what that girl is thinking though.

“Woah, you’re getting cheesy now,” this tall guy complained me. “Does the cupid strike you with the arrow?  Or you just finish the test and suddenly your mind is empty of words to say?”

“Yeah, he’s right. I sensed some extra bright Amber today. You’re in love buddy?” that’s Myungsoo turn to interrupt.

I playfully shook my head and burst a small laugh. Still, my eyes glance at the audience seat. “No… you guys are talking nonsense. I’ve just feeling so good. Nothing matter,” I defended myself. “If you don’t mind, I want to take a leave right now. I must precisely be for work on 4pm. See you guys again tomorrow okay?”

Those two friends nodded their head in agreement and we made our special gesture or trademark, before I made my way toward the sitting Krystal. She handed me her handkerchief and said, “You should wipe off those sweats of yours or I don’t want to company you out of school now,”

Chuckling, I took it and replied, “Yes, Krystal. Anything you want to,” then I flashed her a calm smile.

***

That morning, I woke up early. I kept checking myself at the mirror. Wondered if my teeth were very yellow or my breath was nasty or, there’s anything at  my eyes. I’m going to ask Krystal out for dinner and prepared something special. I’m hella nervous, can’t picture how it could be later. Would Krystal say yes?

Would she say no…?

I fixed my necktie and walked out the door, greeted Helmoni in the kitchen as usual. “Morning, dear,” she greeted back and smiled.

I wanna ask her, how to confess but nothing comes out from mouth. Like a fish running out of water, I didn’t even know how to ask. That moment, Helmoni furrowed her eyebrows, looking at me curiously.

“What’s wrong, Amber?”

I calmed myself and took a seat at the small table. “Helmoni,” I began, “H-how to…confess actually?” I’d almost slapped myself for that lame question. It was so embarrassing.

She didn’t spontaneously give me the answer, but she just chuckled instead. Finished pouring my favorite vegetable soup into the container, Helmoni served me a cup of coffee and sat on the wooden made chair. I studied her expressions, trying to figure out what she’s going to say. I sipped the drink and patiently waited for Helmoni’s answer.

“Sincerity is the key, Amber,” she said, “I know it will be hard because it is your first time. No matter about the choices of word you’re going to put in. No matters about the way of your speaking, but it is about your feelings here, it’s depend on how you’re going to express it. If you want her to know you, to feel you, make it easy. Be straightforward, Amber. Imagine that you want Krystal to say that thing for you, so then you must do the same,”

“What if she didn’t like me the way I do, Helmoni? What should I say afterwards?”

Helmoni returned a smile,

“Don’t love someone if you want her to return it as the same way. Love isn’t about you want her for yourself only. Love is about you’re appreciating her, and loving her is the best thing ever in your life. Don’t lose upon hope if you didn’t even try yet,” she added, fixing my bang. “Remember my dear, loving can heal and loving can hurt. It’s not going to happen at the same time but if you know how to embrace it, you’ll be just fine…”

I stayed in silence for a second, thinking of what Helmoni just uttered.

“You might be late for school if you keep daydreaming like this,” she teased. I nodded-laughing at my stupid thoughts just now. Helmoni is right. I should know how to embrace myself.

“Okay, Helmoni. I will take your words for granted. Wish me the best then,” I stated and reached the container from her and put it into my slide bag. “Going to see you this night okay? I had planned to have dinner with Krystal so you don’t need to cook,”

“Yes Amber,” Helmoni smiled. Her expression suddenly changed as she let out a deep cough. I walked close to her and worriedly questioned, “What’s wrong Helmoni? Did you take your pill this morning???”

She held her cough, “Not yet but I will take it now. Don’t be late for school, dear,”

“You sure?”

“Yes I am,” she weakly replied and rose up from the chair. “Go now or you will be late,” she didn’t let me argue anymore as she made herself towards her room. I sighed deeply before finally decided; I will just go straight to school and hoping Helmoni just having a small cough, not bad than that.

***

Have you ever had a feeling that is very difficult to speak when the person you love right in front of you, frowning at your sudden strange act?

Well, that’s me for now.

“Amber I need to go home. You’re zoning out again,” Krystal commented me with her questioning look. “What happen to you lately? So far, you’re getting better in class but became a little bit strange than usual. Am I looking like a delicious barbeque meat for you???”

“Aa—n-no, of course not,” I stuttered.

“Then?”

“-----I don’t know. Seriously I don’t know how to say it,”

“Amber, what is it? You better tell me now or never. We’re friends, remember?” she asked as she looked straight into my eyes. Nah, that’s even worst. Her stare is killing me, definitely.

“Well, Krys--- I—was –wonderrr,” gosh my tongue suddenly froze. “You know, uhm--- “

“No, I don’t know you idiot,” she rolled her eyes.

I laughed nervously, trying to calm myself. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth,

I watched her face and ready to confess but then one voice echoed the locker room.

“Amber,” it’s the Head Master. His face looked so intense.

My God, I don’t know why I felt something choking my throat.

He approached us, we bowed in polite and greeted him.

“Your grandma,” he said, “She’s in hospital now, Amber,”

As I heard that, I lost in words. But then, I felt Krystal’s hand on mine. The Head Master touched my right shoulder and added,

“You may come with me now, kid. I’ll bring you there,”

God, it is her time now?

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Its been a long time, I do an update. Very sorry my beloved readers, I was so busy with my first week as the lab-assistant. There are so many things to settle down. Plus, I'm busy adapting myself in this new environment. 

I believe all of you still shipping KryBer right? So do I :) 

Even though, f(x) will have concert here in my country, I cant even go T_T. Stupid professor who asked me to company her till mid-night every day, I put all the blame on her, huhu :(

K. I'm out!