(Listening to Already Gone Instrumental Version by Kelly Clarkson) 

Is it okay to cry if we cant have what we want?

I'd cry because I cant reach you even though how hard I've tried

For loving and keep it all for myself.

And why it is hurts so much?

For secretly admiring the beautiful you, I'd became even more weak than before, 

so I've been standing so far from you, watched you'd curved pretty smile that always light me up.

I wanted to touch, but I cant,

I really want you for myself, but I cant, 

I really want to say that I'm in love with you, 

But this destiny isnt't even mine cause you're not meant for me. 

I'd asked myself, it is fine to cry, right?

To cry because all I can do is loving you and stay still, do nothing.

I've cried because it is hurts when we're close but it feels so different and very part away,

I've cried because I love you but I know I cant have you. 

Jessica read through the lyrics and stopped for a moment, watched the face of her best friend. Then, she looked back at the small paper again. 

"So..." she started to utter and glanced at the person, "This is your first lyrics? I mean, you wrote this and kept it hidden for all the times???" 

Amber replied, with no hesitance. "Yeah,it does have a very deep meaning for me. An old version of Amber Liu that you didnt know before wrote this without any assist of instruments but just real experiences," 

"Sure it does," said Jessica and reached for the mug. "Sounds sad to me though but what will the title for this? Lets put it in melancholic way, can we?" 

"Erm... I've been thinking 'Is it Okay to Cry' but.... lame isnt it?" muttered Amber as she tucked the pencil she's been holding at her right ear. "And I planned to include this track for your upcoming album too," 

"Oh great, so you yourself going to produce my new album??? Are you serious Amber??" 

"Sure, why not?" 

The older woman put the paper down on the table and playfully hugged the boyish. "I thank you for this precious contribution, DinoBer. Cant describe how grateful I am now!" 

Amber slightly embraced Jessica's shoulder, hugging the woman back as she responsed, "Treat me something delicious, its gonna be more than enough, Jess," 

"Alright I'm on! Best Korean beef for dinner, lets count Mina and Krystal in!" 

"Why you drag my girlfriend too? She's on diet you know..." 

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Excuses... No, she should come along. I will call her later and ask my little sister join us tonight. Oh, maybe Myungsoo too," 

Collecting the papers together, Amber just released a small sigh. "Anything and whatever you say, Jessica-sshi. I dont mind..." 

All of sudden, Jessica remembered of something. So she tried to ask, 

"Amber, I wonder if there's something happened between Krystal and you. Up until now you didnt even tell me the whole story though. When I asked her about you, she just gave me a short answer, 'We're best friends just like you and Amber, Sica-unnie'. I mean, its very simple and kind of cliffhanger for me. Incase you guys didnt aware, that awkward and weird feeling engulfed me when two of you met, back then in the cruise. I have a strong gut about this, Amber. Come on, just spell anything, surely I will understand," 

Amber, was astonished by the sudden request. Weakly smiled to the other woman, she let out a deep breath and pulled the rolling chair closed to her. She sat herself and calmly replied, 

"To be honest, yes something did happened. But not between us, Jess. It was just me," 

Jessica furrowed her eyebrows, doubted.

"How could it be just you? That's impossible I think..." 

Amber went in silent for a while as she gathered courage to reply again, 

"I'm an orphan, no relatives and no friends. I had just an old woman who loved me like her own and a precious friendship which your Krystal gave to me when we're both young. She was the one who treated me like I am deserved to be love too by others, to have anything like common teenagers had. Krystal had been my company since she asked me to be her friend," 

"Yeah I knew that part... Then, what's wrong with that super awkward thing after 10 years?" Jessica voiced out impatiently. 

She lifted her eyebrow, trying to find suitable words to say. Amber kept her calm face, 

"Do you have a story of first love, Jessica?" 

The long-hair woman nodded, innocently. "Sure, yes I had,"

Amber curved a little smile then. She looked away for a moment before turned her head, eyeing Jessica again. 

"Krystal is my first love story," 

***

She's been busy eyeing the screen, checking through the data and details when her smart phone rang loudly on the desk. 

"Aish, who could it be at this hour..." muttered Krystal, lazily picked the call. 

"Yes?" 

"Krystal, hey..." once she recognized the voice, she immediately stopped everything she's been doing and got her focus on the conversation. 

"Hey, Amber," replied Krystal as she rose up from the chair and walked to the see-through window. 

"I'm sorry for interrupting your precious office work. Actually your sister forced me to ask this," said Amber from the other side. "Myungsoo and you free tonight for dinner? Jessica gonna treat us and more like we can say, throwing a small gathering. Erm... so let me know how do you think?" 

"O-oh... " she paused for a while. "I had plan to go straight away home at 6 but since my best friend asked this, sure, why not then?" 

Krystal took a quick glance at the digital clock which hanging on the wall. "But Myungsoo... I dont know... this morning he texted me, saying that he's in Ilsan, probably until tomorrow," 

"Really..." Amber's deep voice echoed through the device. Out from nowhere, she felt the piles of work that had been pressuring and torturing her that day went away in a blink of an eye, the moment she heard the voice. 

"Nevermind, having you is fine already, Krys..." Amber claimed and let out a small chuckle. "So, at 6 I will pick you, is that okay?" 

"Yes, at 6 should be nice," Krystal replied confidently. 

"Now continue your work please, and I'm sorry for disturbing your time, director Jung," said Amber, joking. 

She laughed and furthered, "Its okay, Amber. At this hour, I'd lost my concentration already. I cant wait for dinner though cause I'm trapped in this room since morning. Very hungry," 

"Oh no, poor my friend! So, no lunch???" 

"Hmm-hh," 

"Krys, being busy doesnt mean you care less about yourself. What if you get sick? It will burden you more," advised Amber. "Aish, I dont nag if you wanna know but if you're continuously being like this, I will grow wrinkles and my hair will turn to grey, Krystal," 

She giggled at that part, listening to the Amber's mumble words. 

"Aigoo, its nothing serious, Amber. Just today, I need to complete the data, and didnt realize the time passed so fast. Thanks for that, and for inviting me too, or not, maybe today I will go to sleep with an empty tummy," 

"See... " 

"Nah, dont worry cause I will eat a lot tonight. Is that sound promising to you, llama?" 

"Herm... well... a little, not much," 

"I swear I will not skip meals again. Cross my heart and done," Krystal added, "This was what you've did ten years ago, Amber. Remember, you skipped lunch, dinner and even worst from me, you didnt eat anything for two days because you've been busy with the work and basketball thing. So I'm the one who made you swear for goodness sake that those thing wont happen again," 

"Yeah-yeah, of course I remember, Krys. That cross the heart thing was mine before. But now, I've changed and you replaced me," Krystal heard her friend's small laugh then. 

"Yah stupid," 

"I'm not stupid anymore, Krys, you know that..." 

"Still you are to me," 

"Haha, fine!" Amber laughed. "Alright, get to work your majesty, Catch you later, okay?" 

Her red lips widen between her cheeks, "Okay, Amber," 

"Bye, Krys," 

"Bye," and she pressed the end button. 

***

Krystal had been watching Amber and her girlfriend acting lovely since the moment she reached the excluded place. It was the first time the tomboy gave more attention too someone else because once they were still closed long ago, Amber paid full attention only for her. 

Nor Amber or Mina noticed the change of Krystal's expression but fortunately her sister Jessica, did. The eldest of foursome was the one who raised the cup, asking for the toast and seeks for the couple's attention including the passive Krystal. 

"For life, love and friendship!" said Jessica, with a happy smile on her face. "Come on, come on," 

Amber looked at her best friend a.k.a Jessica and raised her cup along. "Yeah, for life, love and friendship," 

Then its Mina and Krystal's turn to join in. 

"Hey Dino, why just water???  commented the eldest as she chewed the half-cooked beef. "Toast means drink and drink mean alcohol. And alcohol mean for this," she added, showing Amber the bottle of soju. 

"She cant tolerate with alcohol," 

"She cant tolerate with alcohol," 

Both Mina and Krystal replied in the same time, spontaneously. And then their first stare exchanged, looking as surprise as the mouth-widen Jessica. 

Meanwhile Amber,  she just slowly swallowed her food, almost forgetting that awkward atmosphere which just re-appear again. 

"Wow, that's accurate about me, thanks Mina, thanks Krys," replied Amber-flat. 

Jessica grinned with higly percent of insecurity as she added to reduce the weirdness between them, "Water is fine. As long as this Dino is happy, I'm all okay, hahahhahahah," then she continued her attention on the food acting like nothing happen. 

"So, its look like you knew Amber very well," Mina stated as she stared at the sharp-eye woman which sitting in front of her. Giving her beautiful smile, she asked Krystal, 

"Who is her first love then? Do you know about it?" 

Amber almost choke the rice meanwhile Jessica accidentally sprayed all the drink in .

And even Krystal was stunned with the unexpectable question. 

The golden-hair woman wiped as she apologized, "Sawrryy guys, I have problem with my epiglottis just now, so sorry... " 

Amber eyed her girlfriend and then turned to the brunette. She avoided an eye contact with her and let out a small laugh, "Mina's curiousity sometimes killing me actually, Krys," 

"O-oh... well... " she stuttered, glancing at the boyish. Awared that Amber looked not comfortable, Krystal fake a smile- shaking her head, "I dont know... she had a terrible haircut back then, Mina-sshi," 

"Oh really?? It that so bad??" asked Mina, looking so surprise. 

"Yes she was, we even nicknamed her as the messy llama. And her skinny body looked so unhealthy," added Krystal, putting a smile again. 

Mina stared at her girlfriend, "Before, you're a messy llama and now you're a big nostril Dino. Amber, you're a zoo or what???" 

That made the group bursted out a loud laugh. Krystal cant help but to include herself along even though she tried hard not to laugh. Jessica was the loudest among them all. She even tapped the table, laughing crazily until her tummy hurt. 

Amber put a long pout as she watched the trio making fun of her. 

"You're mean, Mean-a," she complained and chewed the leftover rice in the small bowl. "Alright-alright, joke all you want, Ms. Myoui. Wait until the penguin from Alaska come and claim you back to your place. And I will just let they kidnap you away. Dont even hope I will be your hero," 

Jessica laughed even louder as like she literally crawling on the floor. "Oh goddd... this--is... Goshh I cant take it anymore--bwaahahahahahahhh",

"Awwww, I'm just joking..." coaxed Mina as she reached for Amber's face and playfully pinched the tomboy's cheeks. "Arent that made we're a good couple? Penguin and llama or dino may suit each other, I am right?" 

Krystal let out a small chuckle as she looked at the pouty face of her old best friend. The playful side of Amber is very cute for her. Secretly laugh in her mind, she reached for the dishes and ate them without any sound. 

The pretty woman cant deny how lovable Amber and Mina are. The way the other girl lean onto Amber's broad shoulder, the way they make fun of each other and how bright the smile was from the handsome face, Krystal silently envies Mina for having Amber as her lover. Even though her relationship last for almost ten years with Myungsoo and they already engaged, she feels like something had been holding her to act cute or lovely just the way Mina did with Amber. 

"Krys, you want more?" Amber's voice broke her thought. She immediately looked up and managed to catch the perfect curve from the later's lips which she loves the most.

"Here, take this," told Amber as she put the cooked beef on Krystal's plate. Without her realizing, Krystal flashed her sweetest smile for the tomboy. 

"Thank you, lllama," she said happily.