(Listening to My Everything by MAMAMOO) 

Author's POV

Amber be lulled with her writings, sitting comfortably at her own table. Sometimes, she would stop for a while, thinking of some other ideas to pop out from her head. Usually, when composing lyrics, she could spend the whole day but that time, its different. She was writing about what she felt, what she thought and asking herself so many reasons on that piece of paper. 

The chained words sounded, 

To myself, 

I guess, my life would turn to something better after all these wonderful encounters because I met awesome people, talking and spending time with them, cherish everything together. Especially my love Mina, who loves me unconditionally. Only the glimpse of her eyes on me could make my day. Only simple words could ease my beating heart and I couldnt deny I love her because she gave me all she have. Also, the empty spot inside me, I save it still for the first love, my beautiful best friend- Krystal. 

The truth that only I knew, the feeling actually never changed. My love for her still here, safe with me. Everytime I looked at her, I had hard time to control myself from falling again. Those sweet smiles, I'm sure they were all mine. She curved it for me, because I knew, she only smiles if she mean it. However, this is surreal. I cant escape from reality even though knowing Myungsoo is the best guy for her, its hurts, I still need to display as her best friend. What should I do either than stay here, watching them being together and hoping Krystal will be happy so do I. 

I love Mina, but not like the way I love my best friend. They are both nice and kind, pretty and beautiful but for me, they are totally different. I think I'm being unfair to myself cause accepting Mina as love of my life isnt the whole willingness. I dont want to hurt her or make she disappointed of me, because I know, rejection was tough and one-sided love will going to leave a deep scar. So that's why, I learn to love Mina like how she loves me. Until this point, when her own mother dissed and insulted me, I couldnt find any reason why, I am still staying with her. I should just admit what I felt to her but I cant. Mina is the best person who could love me truthfully and I dont think there will be other person able to do the same. 

I've been thinking, if one day, what her mother said comes true, what will happen to me next? 

Can I just turn everything now? Leaving her earlier so that she will not feel the pain? 

I dont have any answer. I dont know and I'm afraid. The fact that I cant love her to the fullest like how I love Krystal, I am in fear cause I can hurt myself again. 

Helmoni, I want you to be here, to guide me in every step that I will take. These encounters are scary sometimes. I wish, you're here to say, "Amber, you dont need to be worry and everything will be fine. Just listen to your heart because love always win at the end," 

Now I'm wondering, how can I fight for love if I am loving two women differently, but still want them to be all mine? 

She put down the pen and released a small sigh. Taking a little time, Amber closed her eyes, searching for a peaceful mind. 

"If the person appear like a flashlight when you close your eyes, there she is, Amber. She is the only one who you truly love," 

Helmoni's old voice echoed, a little throwback from years ago when she asked the late woman about how she can find her eternal love. 

Guilty rise again on that moment and Amber asked herself, 

"Why its still the same face?" 

***

"I'm glad you feel free to meet me," the dimple man smiled when he exchanged fist bump with Amber. He invited the boyish for a sit and managed to ask, "Coffee or tea? Anything, on my treat Ber," 

"I prefer hot chocolate now, I must reduce caffein," replied Amber back. "Finally, I have some buddy time with you, Mr Busy Man," 

Myungsoo clamped his lips and nodded, "What can I do, its duty and responsibility," 

"Yeah, prior to be important person in share business, I cant hope to see you regularly. Understood," 

"That's it, you are the only one who can tolerate with my carrier, but your best friend wont," 

"Krystal? She said something to you about that?" 

"More likely did something to me, Amber," he blew a sigh and looked at her. "I dont know, I dont understand either. Lately, she keep complaining, grumbling and questioning about me. Why I'm so busy, why I'm being like this like that and so over. The reason I called you because I am sure you can be sort of help to me right now," 

"I dont have any idea about helping this. What you want me to do then?" 

Myungsoo flicked, "Amber, we've been together for 10 years and I sacrificed a lot, just to make sure we're perfect like other couple. I cant argue when sometimes I'm tired and exhausted but Krystal still push me on something. I say yes to every question, to every aspect that she wanted and you know, what I'm doing now, working hard is none than the best of future for us. She asked for a break up," 

Amber's expression changed a little then. "Whoa, that's sound serious. Did you ask why she want a break up?" 

"She said that I'm too immersed with my work and seldomly acted as her fiance. Even Mr. Jung understand me, Amber. I dont want to waste our 10 years relationship. I still love her," 

"Then you need to sacrifice again, Myungsoo. To win a heart, you must to let go of something you like. Maybe its gonna be too much, but its worth sometimes," said Amber. She raised her hand and glanced at the waitress. Later, she looked back at her old friend. "I'm not an expert but yeah as a friend who want the best for two of you, I think you should consider about what Krystal had questioned. You actually, have all the answers, right?" 

"Really?" 

Amber just hummed in response. 

"I think I just need your help. Can you talk with Krystal please? She's your best friend, she will listen to what you said, I confirm that," replied Myungsoo in his pleading tone. That made Amber sank in silence for a while. 

"I really want her to be my bride. At first sight back then in school, I knew, this girl would be my wife and I work hard for it. Thank you for introducedd me to her and now your roles as our close person is much needed Amber. Just say to her, I deserve one more chance to fix all of these and I promise I will make it better,"  

The short-haired woman released a deep breath. 

"I cant guarantee my roles could be the assistance but I will give a try. That's what best friend do," 

Myungsoo smiled, 

"And thanks for being my best friend," 

*** 

Mina just smiled at the tall dancer who passed as she's concentrate in streching routine. After a few simple exercises she joined the group while drinking a water. 

"You have boyfriend? Who's that with you?" Nayeon, the eldest among the dancers asked, referred to Mina's phone wallpaper. 

"No, not my boyfriend, but girlfriend. My only love," replied Mina. 

Momo, Sana and Nayeon looked at the pretty ballerina awkwardly before exchanged glances with each other. 

"Okay, we understand since you're from the states. But here in South Korea, it cant be gladly accepted you know," told Sana, also a Japanese dancer for the studio alongside Mina and Momo. 

"Yeah, here we're still in East culture. Lesbians and gays are not included in society," Nayeon continued. 

Her soft face changed spontaneously upon hearing them. 

"She's nice and we're normal just like other couple. We love each other without any condition, so what's wrong with that?" 

Momo sensed Mina was hurt so she gently caressed the youngest's shoulder. "Nah, we're not meaning to offend you. Its okay, for me, gay, lesbian or trans, if the name is a friend, still, and forever will be my friend. Just to remind you, people can be cruel sometimes, Mina. Gotta be strong or no survive," 

"It means both of you will just stay as lovers and a couple because same gender marriage is illegal. Poor you, Mina," Sana sudden interruption earned a slap from both Nayeon and Momo at one time. 

"Yah, no need to say that you fool," hissed Momo. 

She eyed all of them and suddenly began to think of what her friend just said. 

"Marriage isnt the deal in relationship, right?" she tried to ask. "I have Amber who can take care of me, like how she's doing right now," 

Momo put her hand on Mina's and replied, "Yes she is but sorry to say this, I heard from my mom that if we get married, we'll feel more safe and secure. Try to imagine, if our parents didnt married and stay as a couple until now, how might you think? Strange, right? For example, I refer my dad as my mom's boyfriend and cant claim him as her husband," 

"Like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt before???," the clumsy Sana intruded quickly and earned only a hum from Momo the blondie. 

"Yeah but unfortunately, they also separated at the end. I really love those Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Did you guys watch that movie?" said Momo. 

"Not really but I heard it was good," Nayeon joined again the conversation. 

"Yah, let's watch together tonight. I downloaded it. Bring Jeongyeon and Jihyo too, more people more lively," added Momo and smiled wide.  

"I will bring Dahyun and popcorns. Unnie, buy us drink please," pleaded Sana with babyish act. "Smoothies or cola for pretty girl like me," she blinked her eyes repeatedly to gain the eldest's attention but only to get a flick on her forehead. "Yah!" 

"Jeez... your aegyo didnt work for me," Nayeon stucked her tongue. Momo laughed and copied Nayeon as Sana screamed in pain. 

The trio totally carried-away by their conversation and left Mina alone with her deep thoughts. She just smiled along watching them being silly but in her inner-self, she cant stop thinking about what they had said to her before. 

Back in Amber's luxurious penthouse, while preparing for dinner, Mina faced her lover and asked, "Do you have a plan to marry me?" 

That made Amber went speechless and stunned at state. "Mina, its too early for us to get married. We still young, right?" 

The pretty figure stared at the older person directly into her eyes, "I'm asking you, did you plan us for a marriage, Amber. Not about our young ages," 

The tomboy began to stutter, "I-I-I think we're in wrong timing for this topic, baby. To be honest, I still look at you as someone younger than me," 

Mina frowned, "Someone younger? Sister? Am I just like a sister for you?" 

"Its not what I meant," 

"Then, what? Just friend?" 

"Mina, why with the sudden question? What's in your mind?"

The young lady glared and stopped cutting the vegetables before wiped her hands with the rag. "Okay, now I know, you're not going to marry me," she turned and inserted all the ingredients into the boiling pot. "Let's just be the greatest couple until I die," 

"Myoui..." Amber called by her first name. She rise from the chair and walked to the spot where Mina is standing while stirring the soup. "What's wrong? Did I make mistakes this time? Why you're so mad about this simple thing hmm?" she touched the shoulder but her girlfriend flinched and swat her hand away. 

"Its simple to you, right? Marrying me is not a serious thing and not even important. That was your plan? Keeping me just as your mistress?" 

"Myoui Mina," Amber's tone changed firmly and she gently turned Mina's body around to face her. 

The teary eyes caught her attention and she sighed in release. "Baby, maybe you're just too tired and gets emotional? Come on, let me finish the cooking, you go rest," 

When Amber tried to take the ladle from Mina's grip, the younger burst into cries, harshly pushed Amber's chest and made her away as she left the space. 

"What's wrong with her???" the tomboy mentally asked herself. 

***

(Listening to Secret by Apink) 

Amber's POV 

Its been three days and Mina is still avoiding me. Three days of her silence treatment, no breakfast no dinner on the dining table and not even a single word come out this time. She's gone when I woke up and if I'm home she will spend time or sleep in the guest room. I guess her sulk mode cant be stopped until I said I want to marry her. 

Is that necessary? 

"You're staring at me, not blinking and that's kind of creepy you know," told Jessica when she caught Amber's eyes didnt even move, expressionless. 

"Oh gosh, sorry Jess. I was thinking of something. I didnt aware that," the boyish apologized and get back to the white paper. "By the way, I read the news from dispatch last night. Where did you go, Jess? I told you once, right? Consider your carrier before you want love," 

The woman looked at her boss with disbelief look and put her hands on the waist. 

"Hello CEO lady, I am a human. Tell me why I cant have love?" 

Amber avoided her friend's face as she casually replied while signing the document, "I dont say you're not a human. Just this is not the right time for you to get involve in relationship, Jess. You will lose yourself and fans too," 

"Who are you? My father?" 

"That is sensitive, Jess. You know I'm not," 

Jessica groaned in frustration. She hold grudge to say but when the it reached her limit meter, she gave Amber her icy look and released, 

"He's my boyfriend, Amber. Either you like or not, its not your business. We're in good terms and dont you ever try to ruin it, understand?" 

She stared back at Jessica. 

"Oh really? Go on then. When those crazy reporters and paparazzi come to you, dont you ever find me too. Try to survive on your own, can you do that?" 

She just glared as response. 

"I hate you for now, Amber," she claimed and decided to leave the office immediately, thinking that the conversation will turn worse if she continues to argue. 

When her best friend's figure disappeared from the see-through door, Amber ended her concentration on the papers and exhaled a deep sigh. 

She leaned her back at the chair boss, lifted her head up to stare on the white ceiling. 

"I screwed up with Mina and now I messed up with Jessica. What the heck is happening to me..." she mumbled quietly, closing her eyes. 

_____________________

The next chapter is coming soon and thank you cause' patiently waiting for me to update. 

You know I love all of you like always :)