As soon as I  get home I throw myself into a tub of hot water. I am freezing. Running around in snow, fighting---I mean saving...or whatever I was doing in a cold building, then lying unconscious in the cold for who knows how long, after that I ran back to school to get my things, then head home. I stop shivering uncontrobally once I get in. A sigh escapes as my shoulers relax. I bury myself in the steaming water.

   I ended up involving myself with Exo. I can't help feeling disappointed. I helped to save Na Hee, even though I should have mentioned it earlier, we both got thrown out the window and hurt, but when I wake up I find out that they all left me behind with only Lay to make sure I'm fine. I feel so unappreciated. I let water trickle  through my hands. It's okay, I guess. I shouldn't care anymore. I'm nothing to Exo and them to me. That's a lie, but I'll get used to it. Time will dull the pain.....Wait....having Exo ignore me hurt? I sit up. Me, hurt? Me troubled by Exo? Why am I even giving a f***? What happened to me?

I sink back in the water. Exo....what have you done to me???!!!!

I sniff my runny nose. Ugh, I really don't like the cold.

When I'm done bathing I wrap myself up in my thick blanket and lie down on my small bed, watching a k-drama. Somewhere along the way, I fall asleep.

          My eyes fly open at what seems to be an hour later. I stare at my alarm clock. The blurry red transforms into 7:30 am. Seven thirty A.M.! My half asleep brain becomes wide awake. It's morning! I need to get ready for school! I walk out my bedroom, hopping on one leg as I pull my socks on. Seven thirty! I barely have enough time to get to school in time. It's now seven fifty, I'll have to rush to get to class in time. I pause when I notice a protein shake on the table: for breakfast, is written on a  sticky note attached to it. I smile and stuff the shake in my backpack. Outside I hop onto my bike and speed down the street. I don't have a watch with me so I can't tell the time, but I know that I need to hurry.

Finally I arrive at the school gates, exhausted. I sniff my nose, pulling out a wad of tissue from my coat pocket and wipe. Yep, I end up doing this every winter. It's very annoying, my runny nose causing me to get nasal congestion. It's even worse because I was nice enough to help Exo look for Na Hee....though it was unnecessary and I should have said something about Na Hee's disapperance in the first place. Thanks to that I have an extra copious supply of booger. I chain my bike to a metal bar. Just you wait, the coughing is coming pretty soon.

          The day goes by smoothly with no interaction with Exo. I didn't see Na Hee at the cafeteria so she must still be in the hospital. I note that Taek Gu and Exo seem to be at peace again. They must have gotten over their hate for each other. I never did learn what happened between them, which reminds me that I didn't ask Lay what happened to Ice and his gang. Did they leave? Did Exo defeat them? I sigh. I have nothing to do with Exo anymore. Now I'll just go back to watching them from afar. I relish in the that that life was returning to how it orignially was...

That is except for the fact that I seem to have suddenly grown feelings for Tao! I don't even know how that happened!

In 8th period, last class of the day, I search this newfound feeling for Tao. I admit I didn't really notice him that much out of Exo. He didn't do anything that I can remember that would awaken any feelings of like for him, so how could this just suddenly happen? This morning I remember walking into the classroom, saw Tao and.....fell for him. So weird. 

My heart suddenly felt ticklish and my whole face began to warm up. I suddnely became uncomfortable just seeing him. I knew these symptoms right away. I've had a few crushes in my life so I knew when I had a crush. I'm not that ignoratn, though love is not something I want for myself. Once I start liking a boy--all cases are never severe-- I will start avoiding them and be afraid to see them and be close to them. I will then try with all my strength to rid myself of these bothersome feelings for him. It never worked, but time usually dulled the feeling or I would fall for another boy.

I can't help but think that if I had been born outgoing, that'd be a lot of boyfriends I'd have. The thought makes me feel like shaking my head. I am so glad I was born introverted. I sigh wearily like an old man. Love is such a strange and intruging thing. Once agan my long time battle with it will begin again, with love retreating in the end I imagine fake tears spilling down my cheeks. This time it was Tao, an unwanted victim of my silent feelings.

I clench my fists in sudden anger. Why? Why? How could I have fallen for him? I sag, with me you never really know the answer to myself, but I find one truth. I fell for Tao, I'm pretty sure because of my mood. It's that saying I usually say when I really don't know why I did something or don't have a good enough answer.

I fell for Tao because my heart---with anger and annoyance--- just felt like it. I give a long sigh. My long time battle with love has begun once again, indeed.

          My school life becomes a constant: walk into class, don't look at Tao, in class distract oneself from thoughts of Tao, avoid Exo, don' t talk to Exo, have gym where we partner up and I have no partner and feel embarassed in front of Exo, eat lunch by myself while telling myself to stop liking Tao....so tiring!

          Na Hee has returned to school. In the cafeteria the boys take good care of her. I remember that Tao likes Na Hee and feel no jealousy. If he likes her go ahead. I rather the guy I like to be happy than with me. I'm not angry at Exo anymore, though I wasn't really angry to begin with. Though I got hurt a little I still wish for happiness in their life. I am not a person of passion, so anger, sadness, happiness, all those feelings don't stay long. 

One day I walk into the cafeteria and  see a girl I've never seen before at Exo's table. What happene while I was gone? I sit at my usual table. It seems that I have been replaced...I'm not worth replacing though. Normal people would be irratated, angry, or hurt, but me? I am very amused. I wonder what kind of girl she is. I don't know her name, but I've gathered from what I see, sufficient enough information about her. She's small and petite. I'm petite too, but she is way more petite and tiny like a little girl. She has dark brown hair, smooth skin and large innocent brown eyes that sparkle. Literally. Her uniform is a little big, the sleeves long with only her tiny finger, with pink nail polish, peeking out. Her hair is tied into a high ponytail with a blue rose hair band. She is the definition of cute.

This time I can't help feeling a little negative. Plain, unattractive me was replaced by this cutie? Hilarously, ridicously, amusing yet irrataing. I give an amused shake of the head, only slightly, people will look at me weird if I start shaking my head for no reason.

She is nice and positive and very passionate about music. I can't bring myself to hate her. I just like nice people for some reason. Nice, pretty people. Hey, people can't help being attracted to beautiful things. I can tell by looking that Exo adores her. I can't help feeling empty.

I see Tao turning this way and quickly go back to eating. I can see it. Exo is getting further and further away. Do I wait for the bond to break or should I cut it myself? Did we even have a sort of bond to begin with? No, string then. Should I cut the lingering string or leave it? I hold up my right hand under the table and form scissors with my fingers. I let my arm drop and glance at Exo. Bye Exo. I cut the invisible string. "Snip," I whisper.