When I see Exo, I keep walking, looking straight ahead. I'm sorry, I repeat in my head everytime I see them. After that day they didn't bother me, but Na Hee was persistent and kept following me. "Why Eun Jung?" she keeps asking. I would reply, "I already told you." Eventually my stubborness won out and she gave up. That's good. It was tiresome having her follow me around. Things went back to how they were before, but I stopped watching Exo.

         Walking to school, hungry again, it begins to snow. I look up at the sky. Snowflakes drift slowly down and I stretch a hand to catch one, but they melt before I can get a closer look. I stick my hand back in my coat pocket, shivering. It was freezing. My hot breath comes out in fogs. I begin walking again, still looking up at the sky. Looking up at the snow so long I begin to feel like I'm flying. Flying into a gray sky.

"What are you looking at?" I sigh. I almost forgot that Taek Gu completely ignored the fact that I left Exo. He occasionally talks to me.

I don't reply to his question.

"Hey! Eun Jung! Answer me! Just because you left Exo doesn't mean you can just act all that!"  Well, he left Exo too....I guess, but I still don't know what happened between him and them. Why was I thinking about Exo? I have nothing to do with them anymore.

Taek Gu' s eyes suddenly lights up. He waves his arm and runs off. "Na Hee!"  Na Hee turns around with an annoyed look on her face. Her expression freezes when she sees me. She quickly turns around and walks off. I shrug to myself. That was expected. I shiver again. I wonder if we'll have school tomorrow.

        I open my locker to a pile of hate letters falling out. 

B**** ! How could you abandon Exo? 

Go die!

Don't go near Exo!

I pick up the fallen letters and stuff them back inside my locker. Yes, all that stuff was true. I am a b****. I close my locker. I'll throw them away later. 

         I walk back home after another boring day. Ever since I left Exo, life has been less exciting. Just like it's supposed to be. The snow has turned into a blur of white. I dig my hands deeper into my pockets. It was getting colder too. A snow storm? I begin running. I have to hurry and get home! I can't be stuck outside like this!

The wind bites my ears and nose, stinging my face. "Whoa!" I slip, dropping my bike. Immediately I pick it up. I have to hurry! My clothes have become wet because of the snow. I have to hurry! If the storm gets any worse I could get lost....and freeze to death. I shake my head free of the thought. I won't die. I'm overeacting. I continue running. A strong gust blows a flurry of snow into my eyes. "Agh!" I wipe my eyes

Through the blur of tears I see something strange. As if made of snow itself a male materializes out of the snow. His hair is white as the snow, his skin just as pale. His eyes look dead and he is dressed in all white, blending with the cold snow, but what caught my attention was what he was carrying. In his arms was Na Hee. Her eyes are closed and she looks like she's dead. Her skin is so pale. Who was that guy? Why did he have Na Hee? Was he kidnapping her?  He glances up and sees me. We stare at each other only for a second and suddenly he's gone.

I turn back the way I came. I have to tell Exo! I stop...but I have nothing to do with them anymore. They....they can figure out for themselves when Na Hee doesn't come to school tomorrow. If there is school. I hope they find out! They better! I continue to run, feeling guilty.

         We had school the next day, the snowstorm gone, but it was still snowing "I called, but she didn't answer," Kris says. "Do you think her dad locked her at home today?" Luhan wonders. Kai sighs," Where could Na Hee be? She never misses school."  "You don't think something happened to her right?" Suho asks, worried.

I grit my teeth, trying to ignore them. Well, now they know she's missing. 

Tao runs into the classroom. "The others haven't seen her either!"  Luhan slams a fist on his desk, "Where could she be?"  "Let's check her house after school," Suho suggests.

          A day has passed and Na Hee is still missing. My guilt grows more and more, even the hate letters I find truth in are not helping me release my guilt. I have to tell Exo---but I have nothing to do with them anymore! But it is the right thing to do! Yet I missed it. I should have told Exo yesterday. I'm scared to approach them. I know, I can tell, they'll be mad at me, furious. I think of Na Hee's lifeless body. The guy like snow.

Do it! If they get mad at you...who cares! I deserve it. Na Hee's life could be at risk. She could be dead.

At lunch where they are all together--with sweaty palms and that once again familiar loud heartbeat----I leave my table and walk over to them.

All of Exo stop talking. I notice that Taek Gu is not with them. Since yesterday he had been hanging out with them.

"Eun Jung..." D.O. says quietly.

I stare at the floor. I have to tell them...as someone who had once been in Exo. I don't dare to look up. "Na Hee..." I begin.

"What about Na Hee? Have you seen her?" Tao asks. I glance up then look back down, "Yes. I-I saw her yesterday."

Chen grabs my arm, "Where?"  "I don't know, but a man in white with white hair and skind was holding her. She was...unconscious."

I am suddenly jerked foward by the collar. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Luhan yells. I don't resist him. I just stare down, unable to look him in the eye. He lets go, disgusted. "I can't believe you were once our friend!"  I want to say something, but don't know what. Luhan glares at me, "Leave." I finally look up. No one in Exo would look me in the eye. I turn away. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry! I clench my teeth hard. I did this to myself. I deserve it. I deserve their hate. 

I calmly walk back to my table and begin eating. Don't cry. Don't cry. I fight the pain in my heart. Exo doesn't really matter to me.  I don't care about them. I chew my rice. My eyes blur and a hot tear escapes. Before it can make it any further I quickly wipe it away. No, don't cry! I yell at myself, but the more I resist the tears begin to spill forth more and more. A hiccup escapes my mouth. I stand up. I can't let them see me cry! I quickly wipe away more tears and rush to put my tray away.