*may contain uncomfortable content!

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Present Day.

My head lolls to one side and I rest my cheek in my propped-up arm, glancing to the clock. It’s nine o’clock, the streets outside now quiet in the darkness. The television blares in front of me, playing a noir detective film that Yoochun says he nabbed from a friend’s DVD collection.

Yoochun sits by my side on the edge of his seat, hands clasped together tightly. He’s engrossed in the movie, judging by how hard his eyes are trained on the screen. Yoochun likes these sort of retro romantic movies and because he doesn’t like watching films alone, he got me to accompany him in the living room. Back when I was younger, he’d have me watch movies with him and cover my eyes whenever there were age-inappropriate scenes.

I’ve been zoning out for a while now because the movie is a bit lackluster, and I’m tired from basketball practice. Still, I don’t want to disappoint Yoochun. The movie seems like it’ll end soon so I can just sit here for some time more. I don’t get to spend a lot of time with Yoochun these days.

My phone vibrates. I glance over and once I see your name on the screen, I light up.

Have you eaten dinner? Remember to drink more water.

I melt into a soft smile. I’d mentioned this morning on the way to school with you that my throat was sore. During practice, you suddenly showed up during my break, having waited outside the court for some time without me knowing. You handed me some lozenges, having gone out and bought them at the pharmacy nearby our school. You said it was nothing and your expression showed that you meant it.

I always feel so loved by you.

I’ve eaten. Have you? I type back, warmth filling my chest. Okay, I will. Thank you for buying me the lozenges today.

I hesitate, wondering if I’m being too formal. I wish I could be more like your friends. They talk to you so casually and here I am, being your boyfriend, yet I constantly message you like I’m writing an email (quoted directly from Yoochun’s comments).

I’ve eaten! I made fried rice. :> I was hungry so I ate it quickly, and I bit my tongue. T_T It’s okay. Sleep early so your throat will get better.

Cute. I bite back a chuckle, nestling my cheek into my palm. I think to myself for a moment.

Are you okay? Be careful. Don’t rush when you eat. Okay, I’ll sleep early.

I exhale lengthily, fretting over my draft. It must be so boring for you to talk to a guy like me. I briefly wonder what Jaebum would say to you. Would he tease you? But I don’t want to make fun of you. I should give some advice; I eat quickly so I bit my tongue pretty often when I was young.

Are you okay? Be careful. Don’t rush when you eat. It’ll hurt for a while if you bite your tongue. You should put ice on your tongue to numb the pain. Okay, I’ll sleep early.

I squint at my message. It still sounds boring. In fact, it sounds cold, like I’m scolding you. People often tell me I’m really curt with my text messages, but I just don’t have anything to say in return. Hongbin told me once he thought I hated him at first, because I kept replying him with only a few words.

I fold my lips, wondering how you make being cute and friendly so natural. I should add some emoticons.

Are you okay? :< Be careful. Don’t rush when you eat. :> It’ll hurt for a while if you bite your tongue. :< You should put ice on your tongue to numb the pain. :> Okay, I’ll sleep early.

I should give you something more to reply to. You’d have nothing to say if I only sent this.

Are you okay? :< Be careful. Don’t rush when you eat. :> It’ll hurt for a while if you bite your tongue. :< I eat fast so I always bite my tongue. Sometimes, I bite the wall of my cheek. It takes a few days to heal, usually 3 days. You should put ice on your tongue to numb the pain. :> Okay, I’ll sleep early.

I stare blankly at the message. It’s… kind of long… Maybe this is too much.

Glancing to the clock on my phone, I realise I haven’t replied even though it’s been 5 minutes. You can see that I’ve read your message. What if you think I’m ignoring you?

I hit send, simmering into a small frown. I bury my face into my hands in embarrassment. Why am I like this? It’s been a month since we started dating but I’m still fumbling here and there. I should just be myself.

A few minutes later, you reply.

I’m putting ice on my tongue now. It feels better!

You do eat fast hahaha. :> Like somebody’s going to steal your food. You should slow down or you’ll get ulcers. They’re annoying. >:(

I laugh quietly to myself. Yeah, they are. It gets in the way of eating. I stop, wondering if I should add on anymore before decidedly sending the message.

Mm, and you keep biting on the same spot, so it takes really long to heal, you reply.

Another message comes before I can reply. Daehyun, I’m going to do my homework now. I’ll see you tomorrow morning!

I love you.

My heart flutters. I grin foolishly to myself and answer, Okay. Sleep well. I love you too.

“Let me guess. It’s Youngjae.”

I lift my gaze and blink at Yoochun. He throws me a stony look, clearly annoyed that I’m not focusing on the movie

“I half-wish he didn’t agree to date you. You’re always smiling nowadays. It’s scary!” He points at me accusingly with wide eyes.

I stare back and Yoochun ducks, afraid I’d hit him.

“Don’t be envious, hyung.” I close the messages and put my phone away.

Yoochun’s jaw slackens. “Who would be envious of your relationship?! I can’t believe you haven’t bored Youngjae to death!”

I purse my lips, pulling up my legs to my chest. Yoochun clicks his tongue and points to the screen.

“You should pick up some tips from these movies,” he drawls, patting my knee. He goes back to watching the show.

I fixate my attention on the television and lean back into the couch. After some time, the scene soon unfolds into a raunchier atmosphere, the detective and the female lead kissing each other in the bedroom.