Sick (i)
(double update, 31 & 32)

The next morning, after I woke up, I texted Sungjong to ask about the meaning of yellow tulips. Sungjong's mother is a florist so Sungjong often tells the class the symbolism of different kinds of flowers.

They usually mean 'there's sunshine in your smile' because of their colour. It also means 'hopelessly in love'.

Okay, I don't believe Daehyun bought the flowers in particular for its meaning since that's way too much consideration, but I was just curious so I looked it up. The meaning fits so well with the pretty flower.

My parents have gone back to work, which makes me guilty about not spending time when they were at home. I missed one day of their four-day work leave since I spent the whole of yesterday out with Daehyun. I'm planning on going to their workplace and surprise them with dinner one day, but right now, I still haven't thought of what to cook. It's funny, now that I think about it. I used to be so bad at cooking that I managed to burn rice, but after years of having to settle my meals myself, I thankfully developed a decent standard of cooking.

I stand by the dryer, folding the fresh towels Daehyun had given to me yesterday. The late afternoon sun radiantly falls through the window, the warmth serene and relaxing. His words are embarrassingly still ringing through my mind, so odd even as I recite it in my mind. Did he really say that? Did he really call me…

I can’t even bring myself to say the word. It’s so unfitting. I shake away the thoughts, patting the towels. I've been mulling for the past fifteen minutes whether or not to give it back to him today. I should return it as soon as I can, right?

Yeah, I should. But is it weird to go to Daehyun's home just for this? I mean, normally, people would think of this as trivial and Daehyun would probably insist I return it when school reopens. But... It's better to return it as soon as possible. Maybe he needs it. I grab my phone, stopping short. It's really a bit weird though, disturbing him just for this.

Or not. Why am I thinking so hard over this? I'm just gonna ask him if he needs the towels back today. I nod confidently to myself, dialling Daehyun's handphone number and waiting patiently as it rings.

As time passes, it seems like Daehyun isn’t at his phone. He must be busy. What if I'm bothering him? I could have just texted him. I grimace, hastily trying to cut the call when a gruff voice finally resounds over the speaker.

"Hello? Youngjae?"

I hurriedly put the phone to my ear. "O-oh, hey, Daehyun," I nervously return, suddenly forgetting why I'd call him in the first place. Luckily, the dried towels glare at me from the washing machine and my mind clicks. "Are you at home?" Before I can say anything else, a loud sneeze reverberates across the line.

"Are you okay?" I worriedly question. Daehyun grunt, his tone airy and coarse. "Yeah. Sorry, I'm at home. You-" Another sneeze booms over the phone and I wince. "You were saying?"

"Oh, I called because of the towels..." I drift off upon hearing Daehyun snivel.

"You can return them anytime," Daehyun wheezes, voice nasal. He muffles back what sounds like another sneeze and I frown in concern.

"Daehyun, are you sick?" I ask, remembering last night's events. It had been freezing last night, what more with the fact that Daehyun was dripping wet and half —not to mention sprinting so far with the cold air pricking at his skin.

Oh no. I grimace guiltily, feeling my insides scrunch up in remorse. I'd made Daehyun sick. God, I'm really such an idiot.

"I'm fine," Daehyun reassures monotonously, though his following sneeze contradicts his statement. He's clearly fallen ill and I'd done this to him. If I hadn't splashed the water at him and started our play fight, if he hadn't given me his shirt to warm me up, if he'd walked instead of run...

"Have you seen a doctor?" I ask, pacing around the room as the consternation takes over me.

"It's not necessary," Daehyun assures tiredly. "Don't worry about me, Youngjae." He coughs, sniffing hard. I can practically hear how clogged his airways are.

"Is anyone at home with you now?" I question softly, playing with the ends of my shirt.

"Huh? Oh... No, why?" Daehyun breathes, the sound of ruffling sheets materialising. He's alone at home and he's sick?

"I'm okay, Youngjae," Daehyun mumbles. I bite my lip, glancing to the clock. It's nearly lunch time. I can't just leave him alone at home when he's sick. A pang grapples at my guts as I continue walking from one end to the other end of the kitchen. When my parents first got their promotions and their presences had gradually lessened over the years, I remember when I’d first fallen really sick. I can’t recall what I’d contracted but I’d laid on the couch in a bundle for most of the day.

I didn’t want to disturb them, so I’d went alone. I think I was eight or nine at that time and I messed up the registration process since our government clinics have a complicated queuing process. I’d sat there alone for a few hours, watching as people of all ages swarmed in. Every time a parent and child came in, I kept my head down, thinking of the other people who came to see the doctor alone. They were mostly adults, but I told myself I was old enough to not drag my parents along.

Being the crybaby I was, when the doctor asked me where my parents were, I cried. I’ve gotten over it, having grown up and realised I needed to be mature, but I’ve never truthfully stopped feeling bad for the people who came to see the doctor alone. Many of them probably wanted to go alone, but I guess I never stopped considering that maybe one of them came alone because they had no one to take care of them while they were sick.

"Daehyun, I'm coming over." I don't know where I got the courage to blurt out those words, but they come fumbling out of my mouth before I can stop myself. I swear I'm not the kind of person who demands entrance into a friend's place and crashes there for a whole night (I can list several culprits I know, Chanhee being one of them). I regret my brash statement, adding on, "If it's okay."

"For the towels?" Daehyun asks, clearing his throat noisily. "It's okay, Youngjae. Y-" He sneezes again, louder than before. I hear him fumble with the phone for a moment. "You can return them anytime. I'll come collect them..." Another hacking cough. "If you're okay with me going to your house."

"I... I'm coming over to take care of you," I softly say. "You're sick, Daehyun." I clip the phone between my ear and my shoulder, pulling out a pot and ransacking through the fridge for ingredients.

Silence passes for a moment as I lament how empty the fridge is, frowning and looking to the clock again. I should make something quick so I can go over as soon as possible, so boiling chicken is out of the question.

"You... want to take care of me?" Daehyun's voice is nearly inaudible. I squirm, feeling embarrassed for readily offering—I don't even know if Daehyun wants me around when he's sick and fatigued. Am I overreacting? Why am I thinking so hard in the first place? If it was Jongup and he was alone at home, sick, I'd hop over to accompany him without a second thought.

"Yeah, if it's okay with you," I mumble, pulling out some carrots, celery and garlic and dicing the chicken s.

"You don't have to," Daehyun wheezes. "Don't trouble yourself."

"Have you eaten?" I ask, deciding not to let any of Daehyun's protests waver my determination. He's sick and there's no one in the house with him, so even if I'm not the best person to be caring for him... I shouldn't leave him alone. I made him sick. It's my fault.

"I haven't," Daehyun coughs. "And it’s alright. Don’t force yourself.”

“I want to come,” I insist, biting my tongue at how forceful my words were. More rustling emerges and Daehyun murmurs, “Youngjae, it’s okay… ”

His breathy sentence drifts off. I quickly say, "I'll come over as soon as I can."

"You're really coming over?" Daehyun exhales coarsely into the phone. I hum, stirring the soup as it simmers. "See you in a bit. Take care, Daehyun." I cut the call, preventing any more arguments from the sick boy. My phone rings again but I turn a blind eye to the lighted screen, half wondering if I should really go over—I mean, what if Daehyun prefers to be left alone?

Okay, what I'll do is that I'll give him lunch and if he wants me to go, I'll leave instantly. Speedily brewing the broth and chopping up the ingredients, I throw on a decent pair of shirts and shorts and wait for the soup to be done. In the meantime, I mull over what to bring over for Daehyun. I should make him some warm honey and lemon water.

Impatiently waiting for the soup to cook, I toss in a bottle of eucalyptus oil, the honey-lemon tea and the towels into a bag. Packing the piping hot soup into a flask, I jog down to the pharmacy near my block to buy some flu medicine and panadol. Thankfully, I manage to catch the bus once I exit the store, promptly heading to Woonmyung street.

As I get off, I scour through the rows of landed property for Daehyun's place. It's hard to miss Daehyun's house but I double check the message Jaebum sent me ages ago just for confirmation. I finally come across Daehyun's place, furrowing my brows to see a familiar figure huddled on the front porch. Daehyun is dressed in a hoodie, a sweatshirt and sweatpants, slouching over his knees.

"Daehyun?" I call, the boy on the steps perking up. "What are you doing out here?" I hurry up to him, taking in how pale his features are. His eye circles are drawn prominently into his cheek bones and his lips are peeling, almost the same colour as his skin.

Daehyun continues to stare wordlessly at me, eyelids nearly falling to a close. "I was waiting for you," Daehyun finally coughs. He hastily buries his nose into a tissue and sneezes. I guiltily watch as he rises to his feet. "You didn't have to wait for me out here," I mumble. He could have just waited in the house where it’s more comfortable.

Daehyun manages out a small smile, coming out more as a grimace as he sneezes once again. "You... You should go home, Youngjae. I don't want to pass the flu to you. Thanks for bringing the towels.”

I shake my head adamantly, nudging the ajar front door and walking in after a quick glance for permission towards Daehyun. "Go and rest, Daehyun," I urge as Daehyun enters. "Have you taken any medicine?"

"...No," Daehyun murmurs. I wind around him, pushing the door shut. I place the things onto the kitchen counter and read the dosage of the flu medicine, popping out the accorded tablets from the blister packet. Daehyun has to take this with food, as stated. "May I?" I ask, reaching for a cup. Daehyun nods, continuing to watch as I pour a glass of warm water.

"Youngjae, you'll catch the virus. You should go home." Daehyun steps up to me, snivelling boorishly. "Thank you for coming all the-" He breaks out into a cough, shuddering slightly. "All the way here. It... means a lot."

"Go to bed." I usher him lightly down the hallway, deliberately turning a deaf ear to his persuasion. Daehyun looks so dazed, like he's about to keel over. "I promise I won't mess up your kitchen. I'll be right with you."

"But-" With another gentle nudge, Daehyun finally acquiesces, disappearing down the aisle. I pull out a bowl and pour in some of the hot soup, stirring it carefully. The house is absolutely silent, only Daehyun's occasional coughs and sneezes permeating the air.

Balancing the bowl of soup and the water and pill in both hands, I pad down the hallway, momentarily forgetting my way before recognising the photo of Daehyun at his violin recital. I turn, going down and into the only open room. Daehyun immediately looks up when I enter and sits up in an attempt to help me.

His room is pretty messy, things scattered about as compared to the last time I came. I lay the bowl of soup on the nearby desk, kneeling beside Daehyun's bed and propping up his pillows. He lays back down, blinking tiredly. Poor thing, he's sweating so profusely.

"How are you feeling?" I quietly ask. Daehyun looks at me for a long moment before wheezing, "I'm fine. Just... have a headache and a lot of sneezing." His nose decides to prove his point as Daehyun turns away, sneezing into a tissue. He crumples it up, tossing it into the bin placed by his night stand.

"Is it okay if I..." I reach out my hand, waiting for Daehyun's approval. His eyes seem to dim, the cloud around his irises a clear sign of his fatigue. Daehyun nods slowly.

I place my hand over Daehyun's forehead and scrunch up my nose at how hot his skin is. "You're running a fever," I sigh, bringing up the panadol and flu pill. Daehyun gingerly takes them and the glass from me, gulping them down.

“Do you have a face towel?” I ask. After a margin of a few seconds, Daehyun breathes, “In the bathroom you bathed in the last time. It’s clean.”

I nod, briskly walking out and finding my way to the bathroom. The scent of lingering shampoo within the crevices smell just like Daehyun, spices and fresh laundry mixed together. I grab the white towel and wet it, squeezing out the dripping water and returning swiftly.

I brush away Daehyun’s fringe, his gaze lingering on my face while I lay the damp cloth on his forehead. I cautiously grasp the bowl of sizzling soup, taking a small scoop and blowing at it. "You have to take a few mouthfuls," I exhale gently, "the medicine needs to be taken with food."

"Sorry, I don't know if the soup's good." Daehyun says nothing, simply opting for staring at me. I hoist up the spoon, carefully feeding the sick boy. Daehyun hesitates before taking it, slurping noisily. "Do you feel like eating, though?" I question, letting out a chuckle and trying to lighten the somehow awkward mood. "It'll be shocking if you say no, considering your usual appetite."

Daehyun's gaze is making me uneasy, his eyes boring through my head as I blow at the soup. Do I have something on my face? I pat my cheeks absentmindedly, hauling up another spoonful and blowing.

"Yeah, I do," Daehyun breathes after a while, swallowing down another spoonful. "Thank you. The soup tastes good."

"It's nothing, but thanks. Why isn't your helper around?" I question, putting another spoonful to Daehyun's mouth. He slurps it up and murmurs, "She went back last night to her home country for the holidays."

"Bad timing," I mumble, observing the way Daehyun