Really (i)
(double update, 68 & 69)

Morning fades into the school hallways, my footsteps unassuming amid the daily chatter. It’s Monday, so Daehyun and I have literature as usual. I fold in my lips to stop my blooming smile, humming quietly to myself. I woke up early today to make Daehyun something special.

Yesterday, Daehyun walked me home in the rain, both of us sharing one umbrella. Before he left, we kissed on the lips, and both of us took ages to part, standing there despite bidding each other farewell. I had to wait outside for a long time to make sure my face wasn’t red before going into my house.

Last night was rather lengthy, since I stayed up to sieve through every gift Daehyun gave me. His letter to me detailed every single moment between us that he’s cherished despite them being seemingly weightless. From that instant I tugged on his bag in the crowd to two years later, when I ate bibimbap with him at the store he yearned to go to. He wrote about each moment and how it meant the world to him because I realised he existed.

He wrote about the time he hugged me on the bridge and felt like a fool for not being able to protect me. He wrote of us at the night market and how he thought his heart would burst when he put on that beanie for me. He made those insignificant days I spent putting up posters for The Little Sparrow seem like they were so intriguing, him coming early just so he could be the first on to see them.

I had to swallow back tears when Daehyun called me at night. We didn’t say much to each other, just talking about small things like this and that, and I promised myself a million times as I fell asleep that I’d take care of Daehyun well. That I would never make him sad anymore.

My mother asked me in the morning, as she rushed about the house, why I was up so early cooking. I saw these photos of cute lunchboxes a while back so I decided to try them out. I made one for Daehyun before but today’s one is a lot more complicated.

It’s kind of embarrassing but I hope Daehyun likes it. I made the rice in the shape of two rabbits hugging each other, which turned out decent, thankfully. There is spinach by the side, along with some scrambled eggs. The bottom compartment is of sausages cut into octopuses and fried fish fillet.

It took a really long time me for me to make all of that, especially since I was cooking for just one person (with a huge appetite, though). My mother chided me for making it so fancy when I was just going to eat it all anyway.

To be truthful, it looks really sloppy compared to the picture I followed. Maybe I should have just made the normal lunchbox… It’s too cutesy, isn’t it? What if Daehyun is weirded out? I bite on my lower lip, another dilemma taking over me. What if he’s bored of me cooking for him?

It’s only been a day since we started dating and I’m already feeling its effects on me. One moment, I’m over the moon and filled with positivity; the other, I’m scurrying around in worry and dread, second guessing my every move.

Daehyun’s a kind person. Yeah, I went overboard with the cheesiness but… I’m sure he’ll still like it. I assure myself with that thought, ambling down the corridor. Another smile creeps up my cheeks as I think about us, that familiar, ticklish heat immersing me.

It all feels so silly. Weeks ago, I’d been so miserable, wondering why I was stupid enough to let myself like Daehyun more than a friend. There was just no way Daehyun could ever look at me in the same way. I’m nothing special; I’m so dull compared to him.

Even now, it’s hard to believe. After all we’ve been through over these past two days, I’m stupid for still questioning it. I guess old habits do die hard.

I can't believe I have a boyfriend now. The thought makes my heart skip a beat and I let a giggle slip, hastily pressing my lips together. A passing student spares me a weirded-out glance.

Oh god. If I keep this up, people I'm going to think I'm mad. I mean, tons of people in school have already been in a relationship or are in one right now. It shouldn't be so astonishing, but still, I genuinely thought I'd remain forever alone, adopting dozens of cats to accompany me.

Daehyun's my first boyfriend. I'm his first, too. I muffle back a chuckle, bobbing my head side to side as I skip into my classroom. Is it childish that I'm so happy about it? No one's ever had the privilege to call himself 'Daehyun's boyfriend' and here I am, being plain ol' me, yet somehow I'm the one who has that title.

I’m Daehyun’s boyfriend. The words roll off my tongue nicely and I scoot into my seat, smiling uncontrollably to myself. It's so hard to keep it in. I feel like it's ready to burst out of me.

Jihoon turns back and squints at me. "Why are you so happy? Did you grow an inch overnight?"

"Ew, gross!" Bomi sends Jihoon a look of disgust. “Stop corrupting Youngjae; he’s too pure for your dirtiness.”

"What? I'm talking about his height!" Jihoon shakes his head, sparing Bomi a suspicious glance before returning his attention back to me. "Why are you so happy?"

"It's nothing," I breathe, smothering a wider grin. "Have you guys done your Math assignment?"

"Uh, about that. Can I copy off you?"

"Sure!" I hum, digging the file out of my bag and promptly handing it over.

Jihoon stares at me for a while. "Aren't you going to nag me?" He asks.

"Oh, yeah. Study hard." I pull out my textbook and my workbook, arranging them neatly on my table. I can't wait for class to start. It's kind of strange since I don't like Math lessons, what with all the random pop quizzes.

"Today's my lucky day," Jihoon cheers, turning back momentarily to slide my worksheet underneath his desk. "I don't know what's gotten into you but whatever it is, I like it."

"Youngjae's normally a very happy person. It's because you exist that his mood gets ruined," Bomi puffs, Jihoon glaring at her.

“Youngjae!” Aaron abruptly shouts from his corner of the classroom. I whir my head and glance over at his obvious grimace. When he slowly points up, I notice then the boy standing by the classroom windows, cutely peeking in.

Daehyun melts into a smile just as I widen my eyes, him bringing up a hand and waving hesitantly. The whole class has turned to look at him after Aaron’s yell. I hastily get out of my seat and scurry over to Daehyun, pulling him away from their view.

“Daehyun,” I blurt, embarrassment chewing me up on the inside. He’s too cute for his own good. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Just a few minutes. I didn’t want to bother you but Aaron noticed me,” he returns, running a hand through his hair before smiling bashfully. “Good morning.”

No wonder Aaron looked so unsettled. He must have been pretty weirded out to see Daehyun standing over him.

“Good morning,” I softly answer. A bout of shyness overcomes me and I glance to the floor. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. What about you?” Daehyun steps a little closer and stoops to level our eyes. It’s lovely how his eyes gleam so brightly. He looks so happy.

“Mm, I slept well too. Um, we’re meeting at the garden for lunch as usual, right?”

“Yeah. Are you busy?” Daehyun asks. “I can have lunch on my own.”

“No, no,” I quickly reply, playing with my fingers behind my back. “I made your lunch a little different today. But it’s nothing special.”

“You did?” Daehyun’s smile makes him look so giddy, like his head is completely lost in the clouds. I don’t want to be arrogant, but do I mean so much to him?

“Thank you. I can’t wait to eat it.” He chuckles lowly and breathes, “I… cooked lunch for you too. I made it by myself.”

“Really?” I bubble excitedly. I’ve never eaten Daehyun’s cooking before, aside from the time we made baked rice together.

“Yeah, but I’m not a good cook so I’m sorry if it tastes bad.” He coughs, voice rather gravelly today.

“I bet it’s really good,” I immediately say with a toothy grin. “Thanks, Daehyun. I really want to try it.”

The school bell rings at this moment, tugging us out of our conversation. “Daehyun, you should go to your class or you’ll be late,” I urge.

“Okay. I’ll see you at the garden.” Daehyun fidgets around for a while and glances around. Eventually, he softly says, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper, the words instantly drawing heat all over my cheeks. I don’t think I can ever get used to this.

After a long moment of simply staring at one another, I nudge Daehyun, finally getting him to go to his class. I watch him pace down the hallway, his familiar back vanishing after one last glance thrown my way.

I’m grinning like an idiot again. I catch myself and cup my mouth, hurrying back into class. Aaron grabs me by the shirt before I can reach my seat.

He squints at me. “Look, I know you guys have this whole BFF thing going on, but can your best friend not give me a heart attack next time? I looked up and nearly peed my pants when I saw him there.”

I burst out laughing and nudge his hand off. “Daehyun’s so cute, isn’t he?”

“Uh… not really?” Aaron returns, face contorting more by the second as he regards me. Our teacher comes in at this second and I gratefully escape to my seat. Right, I should watch my words, else my friends will start suspecting something.

It’s a little scary to think of it, but I’ve already promised myself I just want to concentrate on Daehyun and me first. These things can come later.

I hope I’ll be able to tell my friends about it, though. Especially Himchan, since he’s my closest friend.

Time passes painstakingly slow through the lessons, my thoughts occupied by what happened just a few days ago. I kept smiling to myself which really freaked Jihoon out since he always turns back to talk to me. One of my teachers thought I stayed up the whole night to study because of how swollen my eyes were.

Finally, our lunch break comes. Immediately, the boys scuttle out of the class. After I bid my classmates goodbye, I briskly walk to the garden, trying to suppress the little skip in my footsteps.

Daehyun’s not here yet, as expected. He’s probably late since his Math teacher often lets his lessons spill over to the next period.

I settle down, playing with the lunchbox. I remember when the day after Daehyun came over to my house for the project. He fell asleep on my bed with all my knick-knacks. Then, it rained, and he was adamant on walking me back to my block even though we were just a few minutes away. The day after, he found me in the garden to hand me back my umbrella.

Zitao, Daehyun’s friend from literature, said that Daehyun liked to skip lunch to hang out in the garden. Daehyun said it was because he was afraid of being late when Park-songsaengnim was so fierce.

There’s so many questions in my head, from the usual why me? to the ones that pick at how Daehyun has always treated me. Is it just a coincidence that he waits at the garden for class to start too? No, it’s because it’s nearby. But would a food monster like Daehyun pass up the chance to eat because the teacher’s scary? Yeah, he would. I shouldn’t get too ahead of myself. Daehyun may like me, but it doesn’t mean he likes me that much.

He was so cute that day, handing me that Pepero. It’s hard to believe he liked me since then. I flush, twiddling with the lunchbox and holding it to my chest. Glancing over, I belatedly notice Daehyun a distance away, simply standing there.

My heart instantly flutters and I make a move to get up, Daehyun gesturing quickly for me to stay seated as he briskly walks over.

“Hi,” I softly say, pulling my legs up to my chest sheepishly.

“Hey.” He sits down beside me and shrugs his bag off.

“Why were you standing there?” I ask.

Daehyun flits his lashes at me, lowering his gaze as a simper scrawls over his lips.

“You… looked really beautiful, smiling to yourself,” Daehyun confesses, meeting my eyes briefly before smiling wider, once more looking away.

“I used to stare at you like that at the start of the year.” He pauses, thankfully missing the blush gnawing at my cheeks.

“It seemed like I was dreaming. I never thought I’d be able to walk over to you as… your boyfriend.” Daehyun lifts his gaze and I stare back at him, my voice caught in my throat.

My eyes eventually skittle away, fingers clutching even more nervously on the box. Why does he say these type of things so easily? It almost feels like we’re referring to two different people.

“Sorry,” Daehyu