Strawberrry Kisses and Cherry Lips (ii)
(double update, 66 & 67)

Once Chen clears our plates, Daehyun and I settle in the ambience of sweet indie songs. We cast glimpses at each other without a word before I finally grab my notes.

“Should we study now?” I ask lowly, churning out a meek smile.

“Ah, okay,” Daehyun absentmindedly replies. He flips open my Biology textbook and blinks several times on the contents page. After a drawn out pause, he eventually flips through the book and settles on the chapter we’re tested on.

“My test had a lot of questions about the heart,” I mention. I can’t give Daehyun much advice since his test will be different from mine but it might help him focus on the correct topic. “They tested on circulation and respiration.”

Daehyun nods intently in response, scrutinising the pages for what I cited. Leaving him to the Chemistry textbook, I sieve through my Literature notes for the latest chapter.

I’m studying with my boyfriend now. The sheepish thought intrudes my brainstorming and I shake it away, focusing on the small printed words. Daehyun and I have always studied together so it shouldn’t be any different. Now that I think about it, my grades have gone up in this semester because Daehyun and I spend a lot of time together and it’s often because we’re on these study dates.

I always brushed off the instances where he asked me to study with him as him being studious but now that I think about it, was he trying to spend time with me? Coming to Coffee Cojjee on weekends, buying me drinks and asking if I’d like to go somewhere else after we’re done… I was always happy that Daehyun asked specifically me.

There were many drawings of me at Coffee Cojjee in Daehyun’s sketchbook. Peering around, it feels kind of unbelievable that I was sitting here a year ago and Daehyun was watching me while I obliviously did my projects and homework.

What did he think of me while he watched me? I squirm at how I suddenly feel, recalling the times I’d spent at Coffee Cojjee. I must have been embarrassing. Slouching in one corner with a plain shirt on, making weird faces while I worked. It’s amazing how Daehyun still likes me after all that. How did he not get sick of me?

My stomach’s turning at the conjecture of Daehyun with his sketchbook open, just… staring at me from afar. At that quadrennial track meet in our second year, I was in the audience like the rest of our cohort, watching the juniors and seniors compete. It was a hot day and I was just sitting there in my gym clothes, probably all sweaty after the exercises. Yet, he still sketched out that sight of me looking so terrible.

Even at the canteen, while I’m gorging down food, and while I’m on the train home. That sketch I found of a boy in Daehyun’s room when he was sick—that… was me alone at the school garden doing my work, wasn’t it? Since the lecture hall is near the garden, I used to sit there while waiting for classes to start. I probably saw Daehyun once or twice but there were many other students, especially the girls, that liked having their lunch there.

Do I mean that much to him for him to capture these moments? I’m so lacklustre. I’m always doing the same things unlike other students who go around doing exciting stuff and whatnot. There are so many girls who adore Daehyun, who are far prettier and more talented than me, yet Daehyun picks me.

It’s sweet. The confession echoes in my head despite me chiding myself for thinking that way. It’s… nice that Daehyun chose me out of so many. I know I don’t deserve it but I feel… special.

I squint at the first sentence of the page to no avail, having been lost in my train of thoughts. Heaving, I flick my stare up and immediately lock eyes with Daehyun. He bats his lashes and rips his gaze away, going back to his book.

The more I look at Daehyun, the more my insides start to flutter. This is my boyfriend. Jung Daehyun is my boyfriend.

I want to take good care of him. No matter how childish the words sound in my head, they still warm me up sweetly.

Thinking about the stuff we’ve done together before I knew Daehyun liked me makes a lot of it seem so different. Was the reason why he barely looked into my eyes because he was nervous around me? Did he pretend he didn’t have basketball practice just to accommodate me? The memory still stings in my mind; I’ve always felt sorry I put Daehyun through all that because of my selfishness.

What about when he brought me to that restaurant? He said he wanted to bring someone there with him. God, I’m overthinking it. Maybe he was planning to bring his friend there; it doesn’t have to be me.

Take care of yourself. You’ve been worn-out recently.

He really has been watching over me all this while. So that’s why he knows I get cold easily even though we had just met. That day, when I woke up after my nap at the library with a jacket draped over me, Daehyun must have given me his jacket once he saw I was cold. From his drawing, it seems like he was sitting beside me while I slept.

Even though I didn’t know him then, Daehyun still took care of me. Has he done other things secretly for me? He fought for my Literature grades instead of his own; he carried around a jacket for me while we were at the night market without saying a word; he brought me out and made me feel so much better about myself after that horrible date with Minsoo.

I remember how horrible that day had been. I thought no one would ever want me. I’ve always felt that way; I’m just too ugly, too plain, too boring to ever find someone who’d like me for who I am.

But Daehyun has always loved me, despite all my shortcomings. I flush, glancing up to find Daehyun once more staring at me. How long has he been looking at me?

“Is it hard for you to concentrate?” I ask, fiddling with my pen.

“Yes,” Daehyun breathes. He suddenly catches himself and correct, “No- sorry. I’m fine.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“No, no,” Daehyun hastily says. He instantly fixates his pupils on the textbook.

I swivel my stare back to the paragraphs refusing to digest in my head. In my periphery, Daehyun shifts around and suddenly places a hand over my notes, close to my fingers.

“Do you need any help?” Daehyun murmurs. “Ophelia’s part is more difficult to understand.”

“It’s okay,” I answer. He probably presumed I had a hard time reading but I was just too caught up in my rumination.

Daehyun slowly nods and retracts his arm. Barely a minute passes before Daehyun reaches out once again, his fingertips this time falling on my nails.

“Are you sure?” Daehyun asks. “I can explain it to you.”

“It’s fine, Daehyun,” I assure, wondering if I’d somehow made him worried. Daehyun bites his lip and pulls back his hand once more, clenching and unclenching it restlessly. The brief contact continues to bristle my skin as the strands of sunlight fall over us.

The morning pirouettes away with the assailing scent of ground coffee beans and vanilla lattes, patrons coming and going. I’ve only made it to the second page of the readings Park-songsaengnim handed out even though it’s been an hour.

I keep thinking about Daehyun. Us, to be more specific. Will anything change now that we’re dating? I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’ve never even had someone like me in a more-than-friends way. Is Daehyun the type to celebrate anniversaries? Donggeun and his girlfriend celebrate monthly anniversaries while Soyul and her boyfriend thinks it’s meaningless to do so.

What about…more intimate things? My body flares up at the notion and I hastily scrub out the visions that come to mind. I’m- I’m scared just thinking of it… I don’t think I can ever show Daehyun how I look like underneath my clothes when I already feel self-conscious showing him my bare face. I don’t know anything about these things, too—especially between two boys.

I’m worried about yesterday, too. The park was largely empty since it’s near the private estate and it was late, but I’m still afraid someone saw us kiss. We were in a more secluded area so I hope no one could see us.

The windchimes hung by the door peal as more conversations saunter into the café. There’s condensation running down the sides of our beverage, both of us quiet.

Daehyun’s been looking at me instead of studying. Every time I raise my gaze, he immediately looks down with a cough, restlessly balling his fingers into a fist. I want to pretend he isn’t but even in my periphery, I can tell from the angle of his head. I can’t be that interesting for him to want to stare at me so long, right?

Every now and then, Daehyun’s been shifting his hand a little closer, too. I supposed he was just trying to flex his arm but his limb is now awkwardly stretched over the table, barely a few millimetres away from mine.

I… think he wants to hold my hand. Should I find it funny or cute that he’s doing this instead of taking my hand? I guess it’s because we’re outside. Experimentally extending my fingers, our hands brush and Daehyun retracts his arm suddenly.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, sniffling his nose.

“It’s okay.” I glimpse at his textbook. Daehyun’s been on the same page for a long time.

I wonder if we’re distracted by the same things. Maybe he’s been looking at me simply because he’s bored? It was probably a bad idea that I asked if we could study together. God, of course it is. This is our first day as a couple and I dragged Daehyun out to study. He must be bored out of his wits from how much he’s been fidgeting about.

Our eyes latch onto one another and Daehyun suddenly clenches his fists, sitting up straight. “Uh…” He starts, blinking rapidly. “I’m done studying. Are you?”

He barely read two pages, though. “Ah, well, I’m not really in the mood to read,” I return in a mumble, feeling kind of sorry I lugged Daehyun out here.

Daehyun’s eyes light up and he readily closes the textbook. “In that case… Do you want to go watch a movie?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.” I file my papers into my bag and pack up my pencil case, my stationery strewn around unnecessarily since I'd been plucking them out to make it seem as if I've been studying. There's no popular films showing right now, as far as I recall, but it still excites me that we're going to the movies together.

Daehyun gathers my file and the Chemistry textbook, slinging my bag over his shoulders. He practically left nothing for me to carry.

"Daehyun-"

"Cake?"

Junhong rushes up to Daehyun and me, the waiter hoisting a plate of Chocolate Fudge cake into the air. We blink at him as Chen stumbles behind the lanky waiter with two pink cupcakes in his hands. He raises them high into the air and waves the strawberry cupcakes around in a circular motion as if he's summoning lightning.

"Dear Gods above, lend us your strength! We have offerings!" He declares loudly, the girl sitting at the neighbouring table watching him quizzically. L storms up to Chen and wrenches the cupcakes away.

"Stop it already! We're not a charity," he hisses, returning to the counter and slotting the desserts back into the fridge. Undeterred, Chen continues swing his arms about as Junhong lowers the plate in his hand with an encouraging smile.

"It's okay. We were about to leave," I chuckle. Though, I might buy one for Daehyun as a surprise later.

Junhong clicks his tongue loudly and puts on a pair of puppy eyes. "Why do you want to leave, hyung? It's such a beautiful Sunday to spend at Coffee Cojjee."

"Yeah, Sunday's the day for love, don't you know that? Stay a little longer," Chen parrots Junhong's previous speech. He almost lunges at Daehyun when the latter takes a step forward, flinging himself over and causing Daehyun's nose to bump into Chen's forehead.

"We're done studying," Daehyun murmurs, frowning down at the waiter with his arms thrown out, essentially barricading Daehyun.

"Then stay here and talk! Look into each other's eyes, discuss world issues, plan your future together," Junhong lists out enthusiastically, setting down the round chocolate cake onto the table. He sweeps me back towards my chair and laughs heartily, slapping the table. "You guys have only been here for a short while! Why the rush to say goodbye to each other?"

I glimpse at the cake and look up at Daehyun. The boy returns with a rasp, "You choose."

Well, I was thinking of buying one for Daehyun so I might as well get this one. I purse my lips and reply, "How much does this cost?"

"It's our boss' treat. He likes seeing you two together," Junhong elaborates, his comment igniting a deep flush through my cheeks. Junhong's boss is married to a man; I almost forgot. That means Junhong probably wouldn't mind Daehyun and I as a couple, right?

"Wow, thank you.” I nudge the cake over to Daehyun's side. He pushes the plate towards me with an obstinate shake of the head.

"You have it, Youngjae."

"Sharing is caring!" Chen pipes up and places a hand on Junhong's shoulder with a contented sigh. "What better way to spend a Sunday than sharing chocolate cake at a lovely café, with just one spoon, am I right? This is so much better than parting ways and going home."

"Oh, we were going to catch a movie after this," I fill in, prodding the plate back towards Daehyun with a pout. The two waiters silently stare at us for a long while, watching Daehyun and I childishly push the plate back to each other.

Junhong cranes his neck with a long, slow blink. He manages out one word after a moment. "What."

"We were going to watch a movie," I repeat, proceeding to whine at Daehyun. "I'm not hungry, Daehyun. You're the one who paid for our meals."

"Wait," Chen interrupts us, flicking his finger between us two with knitted brows. "You guys... were going to watch a movie." He narrows his eyes, trying to process the prospect. "Just you two?"

"Yeah. But it's okay; it can wait. Thank you for the cake."

Junhong suddenly pulls the cake from our insistent hands and slowly turns his head towards Chen. "Hyung, how long has these two customers been here?" He asks, expression blank.

Chen glimpses at his watch and informs, "Two hours." 

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have to ask you two to leave," Junhong breathes, bending down with a rather frantic look in his eyes. "You guys have been here for too long."

Didn't they just offer us some cake? And he just said we were here for a short while.

I flit my lashes, confusedly gazing up at the tall boy. "But-"

"Right now." Junhong grabs my file and sweeps it towards Daehyun urgently. "Please leave immediately. The cafe is full. Thank you!"

"But... what about the cake?" I point out, exchanging glances with Daehyun. The cafe sti