Hope (i)
(double update, 42 & 43)

I look to Daehyun and flash an apologetic look, Daehyun casting an assuring smile back. Himchan clears his throat and reclines into the chair, staring into the distance as if in thought. Yoochun amiably hums a tune but the atmosphere still feels starkly awkward. Should I have invited Himchan over? Maybe I should have taken another table; what if Daehyun feels uncomfortable?

Himchan looks... disgruntled. Just as I decide to speak to him, he abruptly stands and reaches out for me. It's nearly indiscernible but I sense his thin jolt upon grabbing my wrist, but he retains his hold anyway.

"I don't know what to order," Himchan spouts, his voice coming out rather peevish. "Help me."

"Oh, okay-" I nearly stumble as Himchan pulls me up, leading me away to the counter. We stand at one side and he lets go of me quickly, glancing back to Daehyun and Yoochun looking at us.

"Hyung," I start, "I'm sorry. If you want to sit somewhere else-"

"Did you and Daehyun meet here? I thought you usually come here alone." Himchan interrupts.

I stop short and rub the back of my neck, answering, "We came here together."

Himchan blinks sharply, regarding me for a long while with a perplexed look, before he finally scoffs and looks away to the menu. "Then who's he?" He vaguely grunts. He looks so irritated...

"Daehyun's tutor." Himchan barely acknowledges my response, boring his eyes through the list of drinks. I shift uneasily and start, "Hyung, are you upset with me? We can go sit at another table..." I know Himchan used to pop by when I'm on my own but I didn't know he'd do so today, of all days. "Hyung, I didn't know you'd-"

"No. Who says I am?" Himchan defensively retorts. He continues to peruse the menu with his arms crossed, glower permeating his face. He's clearly upset. I've seen Himchan angry a few times, when we got into petty arguments. He’d brush them off after a while and just shove the topic aside, rambling off about something else to amend our conflict. He always choose to avoid the whole thing altogether.

"Then... why do you look so angry?" I breathe. Himchan veers his head to me and his scowl softens. He bids me over and points to the menu.

"You think I should get an americano or an iced americano?" He deliberates attentively, response expected. He’d never admit to being upset.

"Really? You called me up to ask that?" I deadpan.

Himchan feigns an offended gasp and spouts, "The ice makes a lot of difference!"

"Great. I'm going back." Himchan hauls me towards him and lets go quickly, staring me down. Honestly, I don’t get why he always does this. He can rant to me all day about how the salesgirl gave him an ‘L’ size, yet whenever I ask him anything more, he just breezes past it by changing the topic.

"Ice or no ice?" He questions.

Seeing his serious expression, I mutter, "Ice?"

"You have good taste!" Himchan declares with an exaggeratedly wowed look. I jab him lightly and he hastily dodges, bumping into a passer-by by accident. He hurriedly apologises to the lady and I burst into cackles.

"Do you want anything?" Himchan asks, raising his hand and pausing for a short moment. He decidedly pats my head and I whine as he messes up my hair in revenge.

"It's alright. I already got something." Himchan nods and orders, holding me by the sleeve when I try to leave. He adamantly keeps me by his side till he gets his drink and we saunter back together. Daehyun is gazing at us and as we lock eyes, I flash him a small, sorry smile. Daehyun's lips quirk assuringly and he lowers his head, staring at the ground for a moment before lifting his stare once again.

I settle down with Himchan on my left, clearing my throat a little as I adjust to the crowded atmosphere. "Hey there. I'm Yoochun." Yoochun leans forward and flashes a gummy grin to Himchan, the latter bowing with difficulty in his sitting position. "One of yours, Youngjae?" Yoochun kiddingly spouts.

"This is my senior, Himchan-hyung," I introduce with a beam. Junhong swings past and he arches a brow when we make eye contact, gesturing vaguely. I shrug and flash him a thumbs up, mouthing out the words "good business" and inciting the attention of both Himchan and Daehyun.

Himchan's gaze seems to linger on Junhong for a while before I whisper to him, "Do you know that Zelo studies in our school?"

"Yeah," Himchan snivels, "I found out pretty recently. His name's Junhong, ain't it?"

"You found out and you didn't tell me," I puff.

Himchan rebounds, "I wanted to! But we… well, we were..."

He halts and we simmer into an awkward pause. Right, we've been fighting on and off for the past few months... Himchan coughs, both of us looking down to our papers. I clear as much of my stuff I can from the cluttered table and slurp up the rest of my drink, stacking up Yoochun and Daehyun's empty plates.

"Let me," Daehyun offers once I rise, reaching out for the plates. I sneakily pull it from his grasp, weaving past the tables to the bin. Footsteps chase after me and I spin around, nearly bumping noses with Daehyun.

"Sorry," Daehyun hastily says, instantly falling back but not before taking the clutter out of my arms.

I laugh softly, stepping back as well and pointing out, "I'm already here, Daehyun."

"Ah, yeah," Daehyun mumbles as he dumps the rubbish away, igniting another chuckle in me. He weaves a hand through his hair before saying, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you alone."

Surprised, I bite my tongue and ask hesitantly, "Are you uncomfortable with Himchan-hyung around? I'm sorry. We’ll sit elsewhere."

Daehyun immediately reassures me, "Don't worry, I'm not. I wanted to say I'm sorry. Yoochun-hyung suddenly came and bothered you."

"He didn’t," I chuckle, "I should be worried about you instead. You looked pissed. I thought I was going to get a beating from you."

Daehyun widens his eyes. "What? I'd never get angry at you," he murmurs. "I was just upset since he was disturbing us."

Daehyun seems to sulk for a moment, lips bordering adorably on a pout. "...I liked it better when it was just you and me."

I blink up at him before chuckling, a bout of shyness swarming over me. I’m guessing this is why people are so smitten with him, since these kind of words tumble out of his mouth so easily.

"You had me all to yourself last night and you're complaining?" I tease amusedly, realising a little too late how badly I'd worded it.

Daehyun parts his lips as he blinks at me, leading me to groan and laugh, "That was really bad phrasing."

Daehyun melts into a quiet chuckle, his cheeks dusted with a light red. "Yeah. It really was."

I click my tongue and jokingly raise my hand to smack him, Daehyun only laughing more.

"But... You don't mind Himchan-hyung joining us?" I question hesitantly.

Daehyun immediately shakes his head, deliberating for a moment before cheekily saying, "I... had you all to myself last night, so..."

"Hey!" I whine, making a face as he guffaws heartily. "I'm never going to let you sleep over again."

Daehyun instantly muffles his laughter, though his eye smile gives him away. The way he smiles is so charming, the little lines at the ends of his eyes crinkling and emphasising the fats beneath.

Daehyun glances to the menu and hums, "Do you want another drink?"

"You want to treat me to another?" I whistle and pat his shoulder. "Woah, you're way too generous, Daehyun. I'm starting to wonder if you’re trying to bribe me or something.”

Daehyun chuckles, a tinge of a smirk lingering on his lips. “You found out.”

I snort and return, “What do you want, Mr. Jung?”

Daehyun beams dazedly back at me, pondering for a long moment. He his lips slowly and goofily grins, speaking quietly, “...You.”

I gape at him and cringe, letting out a phenomenal groan. “Ugh, you’re so greasy!” I slap his arm and nudge him, suppressing back mirthful chortles and that misplaced, tingling heat. We both melt into gales of laughter, Daehyun casting back the same silly smile.

It’s weird but every time I’m with Daehyun, things feel so… innocent. The urge to pinch his cheeks dabbles onto my fingers, his features gradually turning more pronounced despite the sunlight falling against his back. Daehyun’s lips are chapped…  

Just then, I notice Junhong stealthily creeping up behind Daehyun. I frown and glance behind, instantaneously stopping the slinking barista. Daehyun follows my gazes and Junhong scurries away, as though caught red-handed.

“I swear, he only ever acts weird when you’re around,” I laugh, watching as Junhong disappears into the kitchen clumsily. I shift away as another patron squeezes past us and take Daehyun’s wrist, leading him back to the table.

Himchan’s strict gaze fixates on me along the short walk back, his eyes never leaving my form as both of us sit. Yoochun makes an eccentric, guttural gurgle, sounding like a cross between Morgan Freeman trying to snort and a whale calling.

“Private chat, you two? Must have been about some pretty…” Yoochun wiggles his brows and sings, “steamy stuff.”

He yelps promptly, reaching under the table to nurse his shin as Daehyun looks to his book indifferently. I smother back a guffaw before glancing to Himchan, questioning him non-verbally while he continues to bore his eyes through my head.

Himchan finally whips his head away after a moment, a disgruntled breath tumbling out from him. 

He must still be angry. But I really didn’t know he’d hop over just because I said he was here, especially when he’d stopped for so long…

"Well, kids," Yoochun suddenly declares, clearing his throat and sending us all a contented grin. "I think it's time for hyung to go. Three's a crowd and this ahjussi is too old to hang out with you young people."

Yoochun sighs exaggeratedly and wistfully looks into the distance. “Besides, people are going to take me for an old man trying to act hip.”

"You're leaving so soon, hyung?" I ask. Yoochun stares at me for a moment before breaking out into an ear-piercing squeal, suddenly grabbing my cheeks and pinching them brutally.

"Oh god, you're really too cute!” Yoochun shoots a look at Daehyun and clicks his tongue slowly. “Daehyun, you should be more like Youngjae! This is just the second time we've met and he already misses me!"

"Hyung," Daehyun hisses frustratedly as I wince at Yoochun's persistent ministrations. He shoves Yoochun's hands away and Yoochun huffs indignantly and aims for my face again.

Daehyun abruptly stands and covers my cheeks, shielding them. Yoochun raises his brows as the tutor and student engage in a fierce stare-off.

Well, this is weird. And sadly, vaguely familiar. Last time, it was Yongguk, who wouldn't stop pinching my chin. I recline back into the chair, Daehyun’s palms squishing my cheeks.

Yoochun finally puts his hands up in surrender, a cheshire-like smirk crossing his face. "I'm backing off," Yoochun announces slowly. "Boy, I never knew you could be so possessive. Can't even share your... friend with me."

I stay awkwardly rooted to my position with Daehyun's hands slapped onto my face, Daehyun still glaring at Yoochun. Daehyun honestly looks really cute when he’s annoyed.

I slowly lift my arms and pry Daehyun’s fingers lightly off my face. Daehyun spins around and hastily removes his hands, spluttering, “, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Are you okay?”

He crouches over and worriedly inspects my face, hands outstretched but afraid to touch like a child that’d just broken fine china. I lean back and nod, grimacing a little in embarrassment.

Yoochun dissolves into a remorseless cackle, smacking Daehyun on the head and heartily grinning away. “Never thought you could be like this. I better go or else this kid is really going to kill me.”

Yoochun waves to all of us and hums generously, “Hey, Youngjae, you ever need any help, just ring me up. Don’t need to ask Daehyun first, by the way. We can have our own private little convos without him bothering us.”

Yoochun winks to me suggestively. I awkwardly answer, “Ah, okay... Thank you, hyung.”

Upon hearing this, Yoochun contentedly nods and he knuckles Daehyun's head. "I'll talk to you tonight, you embarrassment. See you guys!" He strolls out with his drinks, still in fits.

“I… sorry…” Daehyun looks back to me and breathes, fingers curling with a cringe.

I glance back to him and swiftly coax, “It’s alright, Daehyun. Um, thank you for helping me?”

I dissolve into a chuckle but Daehyun still crouches over me, looking just like an admonished child. I laugh, “Daehyun, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure-”

“Youngjae says he’s fine.” Himchan abruptly interrupts. He stares queerly at Daehyun, brows knitted and lips thinned. He laughs shortly before cocking his head one side, his tone with a slight edge to it.

“You’re weird,” Himchan guffaws, nudging Daehyun back into his seat. “It’s not like you hit him or whatever.” He hums slowly with a brow arched.

“Come on, let’s go back to studying,” Himchan choruses, clicking his tongue and returning to his book. He waves me back to my book and I acquiesce quietly, running through the questions.

Time toils away as I hit another dead end, nibbling persistently on my lip while scrawling fruitless equations all over my paper. I sigh tiredly and slump back into my chair.

A pen taps onto my book and Daehyun hums soothingly, “Do you need help?”

“Ah, it’s okay,” I assure Daehyun, mulling hard over the question. “Thanks, Daehyun. I’ve bugged you enough for today.”

“I’m not busy,” Daehyun insists, but before he can say anything else, Himchan scoots over to me. He peruses my question and takes the pen from me, easily scribbling down the working.

“You left out the arbitrary constant,” he supplies. “You should just ask me if you don’t know anything. I’ve done these kind of questions before.”

“Oh, you're right! Thanks, hyung,” I hum, a tinge of familial warmth bubbling underneath my words. It’s been a while since Himchan’s helped me with my homework. Last year, we used to study together in Coffee Cojjee, and he would always teach me. But this year, with all our fighting, we’ve barely been able to spend time with one another.

Himchan lifts his hand and hesitantly rests it on my head, before determinedly ruffling my hair.

“You can always ask me for help, just like last time. We always studied together over the weekends, didn’t we? And go for dinner together.”

“Yeah, we did,” I fondly reply. It really makes me happy to know he still wants things to go back to the way they were. Maybe we haven't hit the dead end I thought it out to be.

I glance to Daehyun and he looks back do