Reasons (ii)
(double update, 57 & 58)

About two hours in, a light patter rings outside, a murky grey gradually caving in on the house. I grimace at Daehyun who's playing the game for us, since I relinquished the controls a while back. It's barely two o'clock; how are we going to last the whole day when I'm already scared out of my wits?

"It's getting dark," Daehyun points out when he swivels his head to the window. He sends me a mocha smile and breathes with a faint laugh, "Let's do something else."

Not wanting to act macho anymore, I nod without a word, hurrying away to shut the other windows. Daehyun shuts my laptop and roams into my room, placing it down on my desk. We gather back in the living room as gloom progressively immerses us.

He must be so bored. I squeeze my fingers as my brain tries to rack up some more ideas. Is he going to go home now? I made his birthday so dreary...

Flicking up my hesitant eyes to meet Daehyun's, he's still simpering nonetheless, irises wrapped with a distinguishable haze I've come to noticed over the months we've known each other. I mumble, "I'm sorry. I at horror games."

"Don't be sorry. I'm scared too," Daehyun shares, inching slightly closer. "I'm okay with just talking, Youngjae."

"That's boring," I lament, scooting to lean on the sofa. "I'm far from the most interesting person in the world. You'd be asleep in a few minutes."

"I think you're really interesting," Daehyun counters warmly, reclining against the sofa as well. "I like to hear you talk."

He says these things so easily. I won't be surprised if he's actually made of caramel. Nibbling on my thumb in thought, I point at the TV after a while and say, "Do you want to watch movies?"

"Movie marathon?" Daehyun chirps, his face once more going a little close to mine. I edge away discreetly and within the murkiness of the room, I delve into his abysmal eyes. I almost forget what he uttered till he tilts his head slightly.

"If you want," I reply quietly, hand grasping a fistful of my shorts. I've... never put down what I felt during these moments into words. Happiness? He's a friend that I love a lot, after all. I like to see him smile and being with him makes me undeniably happy.

"I don't have any snacks at home, though. How about I go down and get some?" I proffer, getting up and plopping onto my knees. "It'll be really quick. The supermarket's just a few blocks away."

"It's okay. I can go get them," Daehyun interjects swiftly. "And I don't need snacks if you don't want them."

I promptly shake my head and state, "I'll go. You can look through the DVDs and pick one while I'm out."

"I'll go buy them. It's raining," Daehyun mentions, persistence entrenched into his syllables. My heart is still pumping crazily from the last game we played with that ghost lady chasing after us. How did Jihoon play it on his own? 

"All the more you should stay at home. You're my guest. I don't want you to get wet." I shift to get up but Daehyun instantaneously clasps my wrist. My skin tickles with the bristle of my hair and Daehyun releases me with a quiet apology.

"You get cold easily," Daehyun protests, sincerely staring into my eyes. I part my lips and halt, ultimately sighing, "We're gonna quarrel over this, aren't we?"

"That's one way to talk." Daehyun bares his teeth in amusement and I tenderly pinch his arm, turning on the light and crawling away to the cabinet. It's been a long time since we touched the CDs since they were mostly bought from when I was a kid. Kneeling by the shelves, I rest my arms on the ground and lower myself, squinting at the numerous albums on the bottom rung.

"They're all old movies though," I remark, arching my back to pluck out a few folders. There's several albums of children CDs from a long time ago so I'm not sure which is which. "Is that okay?"

After a while, I finally manage to pick out the correct one. Placing back the rest and plopping my back onto the floor, I inquisitively turn back at the lack of response. Daehyun is wordlessly staring at me with his mouth slightly ajar, eyes large and doe.

"Daehyun?" Shifting closer and waving lightly, I blink upon noticing the redness creeping up his neck. "Um, are you okay?"

Consternation trickles into my nerves as I stare up at Daehyun, wondering if he'd somehow short circuited after all those horror games. "Is it too humid? We can open the windows if you want," I fret, him only his lips and batting his lashes back at me.

Thumbing through the album and seeing only adult movies, I slide back over to the shelf and bend down once more on my knees, flicking out the last few albums in search of the animated movies. Daehyun inches over to me and gingerly places a hand on my shoulder, his face now blooming with a vivid hue of crimson. He looks like a tomato, gosh.

"...Let's... get them later," Daehyun mumbles in a shrivelled voice as he clears his throat. Placing a hand to his forehead, I recoil at the warmth dabbing his skin and blurt, "You're burning up."

".....Hot," Daehyun churns out hoarsely. I tug down my shorts upon realising they've rode up my thighs, settling back on the floor with a weightless exhale. It's kind of cold because of the rain so it's kind of weird for Daehyun to be hot.

I turn up the fan and wave the album lightly. "I've already got both. How about you stay here and pick? I'll be super quick, I promise."

Daehyun insistently shakes his head though nothing leaves his lips, the wind blustering through his hair. Pouting, I concede with a lengthy sigh and get up, closing the living room window. I grab an umbrella for each of us and unlock the door, holding it open for Daehyun to plod out.

"Jacket," Daehyun reminds in a croak, stopping me in my stride. I wander back to grab two for both of us and despite his protests, I force him to squeeze into one of my hoodies. It's kind of scary that the sleeves are tight around his arms; he really does have thick biceps.

We saunter down to the supermarket a five minutes' walk away with just the umbrella, my phone and some cash stuffed into my back pocket. Amid the gentle thumping of rain against the canopy, raindrops grazing the sides of our feet, the chilly air brushes past us and incites a weak nip under my skin. It's always nice when it's raining. The neon of traffic melts into the puddles and everything blurs into a delicate fog.

"Are you still hot?" I question, Daehyun meeting my eyes with a stark hesitance. He shakes his head and trains his attention back on his feet, avoiding a few small pools here and there. After a few minutes, we enter the shop, Daehyun's sun-kissed skin returning back to its original tanned shade. Daehyun grabs a basket and we meander to the snacks section, staring at the modest array of tidbits.

"My treat," I chime, swiping the readymade buttered popcorn and dropping it into the basket. Daehyun folds his lips and peruses the merchandise, pointing at a few. "What do you like?"

"I don't eat tidbits much. Do you want chips?" I grab one BBQ flavoured pack off the shelves, Daehyun nodding and nudging it into the basket. We seize a few other snacks before wandering to the freezer, Daehyun putting in a tub of matcha green tea ice cream without needing to ask. I buy back a few buns for tomorrow's breakfast as well and some other groceries like milk and eggs, heading to the counter with our basket filled.

Just as I slip out my crumpled twenty from my pocket, Daehyun automatically unfolds his wallet, out his card. I nudge his hand aside and he glimpses at me, still adamantly holding out his credit card.

"Daehyun, it's your birthday," I whine, tugging back his arm. "Let me pay. I bought other stuff too."

The cashier awkwardly looks at the both of us, both our hands stretched out. Daehyun places his hand over mine and prods his card over, my protests instantly muting once I notice the customer waiting behind us. I should have known Daehyun would pay for everything—again.

"It's alright," Daehyun hums, punching in his PIN number as I quickly grab the plastic bags. Tucking his card back into his wallet, Daehyun swivels his gaze to the baggage hanging from my fingers. As expected, he swings out his arm and wrestles the bag of ice cream from me, still squinting at the several others left.

"We always do this," I groan tiredly, scrambling to a corner to avoid his grabbing hands. "Daehyun, let's just go. I'll carry them."

Daehyun pauses in his footsteps and he surprisingly doesn't argue back, stepping out to open the umbrella first. I dart under the canopy with him and he switches sides with me, walking along the running traffic.

"Are you angry?" Daehyun questions softly as we stroll down the wet pavement. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not. I just feel bad," I exhale, flashing him a smile. Whenever I'm with Daehyun, I feel like I'm being pampered like a prince. He wastes his money on me and tries to do everything for me. 

What's worse is that I'm probably getting used to his behaviour, which was why I got upset that day he went with Taemin instead of me. Why I got annoyed when he was brushing Taemin's face, helping him get that sticker off... was because I've fallen into some delusion that Daehyun only treats me that way. That's why.

"But you're carrying a lot of things," Daehyun points out, wanting to swipe another bag from me. 

"It's okay. They're my stuff, anyway." My fingers curl tighter around the plastic bags and I chime, wanting to ease the mood, "You know, I think I saw Junhoe around here the other day. Does he live here?"

We pace back to my apartment building, sticking close to one another so as to not get our sleeves wet. Almost home, a vibration sounds from my jeans and I shuffle the bags to one hand, slipping out my phone.

"Hello?" We step into the elevator and the connection goes awry. It restores once we step out of the lift and my mother's voice crackles over the phone. We stroll down to the end of the corridor as I speak to my mother.

"Mm, we're together now. Oh, it's okay. I'm cooking dinner for both of us." I struggle with the bags, trying to clip my phone on my shoulder so as to reach the keys in my right pocket. The groceries fall to my wrist and I sigh. "We went out to buy some snacks."

Daehyun extends a hand to help me and I shake my head, whispering, "Key's in my back pocket." 

"Yeah, we did. We're home now," I hum along to my mother's questions, Daehyun peering down at me in silence. I stare back confusedly and jut my chin towards my right pocket, trying to kick off my shoes. 

Daehyun blinks once and his adam's apple bobs up and down, him stepping behind me. It's only when his fingers slip into my pocket that I jolt, heat abruptly flooding through my system. Oh god. He's touching my .

He quickly tugs out the key from the bottom of my pocket and unlocks the door, holding it open as