Tired (iii)
(triple update, 37, 38 & 39)

I stare blankly at Junhong, the question catching me wholly off guard. He blinks back innocuously and I lower my head, hesitating. “What do you mean?” I chuckle awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck.

“I mean, like, as a guy. You said you’d like him if you were a girl, right? Then, as a guy, would you like him?” Junhong casually clarifies as he gnaws on his corn, pulling out his seaweed chicken and gulping one down.

I find myself at a loss for words, not being able to formulate a reply. The question chomps at my guts as I mull over it. Would I like Daehyun as I am now? I'd said that I would like him if I were a girl, so, as a boy, with the exact same Daehyun, the same boy who walks me home and carries a jacket around in case I'm cold—would I like him?

"Why do you look so serious, hyung?" Junhong tugs me out of my trance with a wave. "I was just joking, hyung. Don't take it to heart." He pats my back and I laugh forcedly, shaking the thoughts out of my head. He's right; I shouldn't get so worked up. It was just a random question.

"Hey, do you want to stop by Coffee Cojjee?" Junhong suggests with a grin and wiggles his brows.

"I didn't realise we walked so far." I glance down to see Coffee Cojjee right at the end and purse my lips, mentally counting my budget.  After I bought that ice cream for Himchan and those snacks for Junhong, I've spent a lot more than I usually do. I have to save up since Daehyun's birthday is coming. A drink is out of the question, maybe I should skip dinner too.

"It's alright," I reply. Junhong whines, "Not in the mood for one of my awesome drinks? I'm the best barista in Coffee Cojjee."

"Hn, I prefer Chen's drinks," I tease, earning a offended gasp from Junhong. I walk him down to the store and catch a glimpse of Chen and L through the window. Their boss is helping out today too. Junhong starts waving frantically, trying to distract Chen and L, and his boss sends him a death glare which instantly quietens Junhong down.

"I don't know whether I should call you Zelo or Junhong," I muse. Junhong mischievously propose, "Call me Jello, hyung."

"Nope." Junhong whines once again in response, petulantly crossing his arms. "Are you going in?" I question.

"So eager to see me go?" Junhong pouts, feigning dejection. "If you keep that up, then yes," I deadpan. Junhong purses his lips and nods, asking, "You sure you don't want to go in?"

"It's alright. See you, Junhong." He waves in response, flashing a dazzling smile as he heads for the door. "Oh, and," I call as he pulls it open, "if you have need help with your schoolwork, you can find me. I'm not that good at studies but I think I might be able to help you. So just ask."

"Thanks, hyung." Junhong beams and throws a casual salute, walking into the cafe. I loiter outside for a moment, wondering where I should head to. It's a Friday night and honestly, I'm a bit hungry.

No, I have to save up for Daehyun's birthday present. He bought me something so expensive; I can't just buy him something cheap for his birthday. Besides, I need to cut down on my weight anyway.

I quell the growling in my stomach and decide against wasting the bus fare, trudging back down the streets. I head to the mall and comb the shops, perusing possible gifts for Daehyun. Since he likes to draw so much, I was thinking about getting him something related to that. Maybe a set of sketching pencils? Still, that's nothing compared to what he bought me.

An hour passes and I leave empty-handed, a lengthy road ahead for me to cover. Right... I forgot all about what happened this afternoon. Aaron theorised that the school only shut us down because they didn't like the fact we interviewed Heechul, who was gay, but it doesn't make sense if Romea and Juliet was held without much deterrance. Why would they censor the report on it and not the play itself? In fact, a day after the play, Aaron wrote a report for it on the school's website.

I brainstorm, running through what we've done over these past month. Nothing really changed except that the writers' side chose fresh topics to write on. Aaron said that they only had a problem with the article on Romea and Juliet, and we've always been doing interviews and reports on school events. Did Aaron push too far and anger the school committee?

After a long walk of brooding over the issue, I finally reach my apartment, letting out a sigh of relief. The last time I had walked back was when Himchan set me up on that blind date, and I'd went to Coffee Cojjee in hopes of finding Daehyun. That reminds me; I better text him an apology when I get back.

My stomach has been growling all the way, begging me to ransack the fridge at home for an apple or something, since I’d run out of instant ramen. Reaching my floor, I step out of the lift and furrow my brows at the strange shadow at the end of the corridor. I squint, finding a motionless lump right by my doorstep. A chill grapples at me as I recoil, scrutinising harder. It looks like a person but he isn't moving at all. And from the size, it's neither my mother or my father, my mother being petite and my father rather chubby.

Who could it be then? My heart begins to palpitate wildly as I step forward, trying to get a better look. The figure seems to be inert, laying against my front door without any sign of movement. I slowly make my way towards it, conjuring up the worst case scenarios in my head. Okay, once I see it's a stranger, I'm going to bolt as fast as I can down the stairwell.

As I near the unexpected guest, familiarity begins to paint the now identified boy slumped against my door. I melt into aghast comprehension and hastily dash up, disbelief snapping my eyes wide open. The boy laying at my doorstep is none other than Daehyun, his head tilted away from my initial line of sight, hanging off his shoulder with a trail of drool on his cheek. He has changed out of his uniform, his usual scent of spice more distinct along with the smell of soap.

I kneel down beside Daehyun and gently shift his head. "Daehyun," I breathe, my mind thrashing with questions. Daehyun groggily stirs from his slumber and he bearily blinks, staring up at me with unfocused eyes. "Youngjae?" He wheezes, shaking his head to rid his sleepiness.

"Daehyun, what are you doing here?" I exhale in stupefaction, Daehyun rising to his feet with my help. He takes a moment to sober up and I notice the bag he's carrying, evidently containers of food.

"I'm guessing you already had dinner?" Daehyun hesitantly murmurs, rubbing his neck. I stare dumbly at the bag in his hand and dubiously ask, "You came here to give me dinner, Daehyun?" He was waiting for me to come back home...

"Sorry," Daehyun mumbles, "I shouldn't have come without waiting for your reply."

"Reply?" I hurriedly ransack my bag for my phone, digging it out and wincing to find my lock screen clogged up with notifications. There are a series of missed calls from both Daehyun and Himchan.

Hey, Youngjae. Have you eaten dinner yet?

If you haven't and if you're free, do you want to eat together? My helper cooked a lot.

Are you safe? Did you stay back in school?

Sorry, I made my way over... Do you mind me waiting for you?

Sorry, I didn't mean to come without asking if you were busy. I'll just hand you the food and go.

I cringe, scrolling through the messages I hadn't seen. The first one sent was about two hours ago. I instantly exclaim, "I'm so sorry, Daehyun. I didn't check my phone." He must have waited for over an hour, just sitting at my doorstep...

"It's okay," Daehyun replies, "I didn't come without permission; I'm sorry. If you've already eaten, I'll go."

I frantically wave and blurt, "No, I haven't! Let's have dinner together." I bite on my tongue, a sour feeling chewing at my nerves. I quickly unlock the door and let Daehyun in. "Thank you," Daehyun says, husky timbre to his voice, "Sorry for disturbing you." I hang my head low as I shut the door, biting back a stinging sigh.

I'm so stupid. It's late now and Daehyun hasn't eaten because of me. Why didn't I check my phone? I made Daehyun wait for so long, sitting on my doorstep. He must have been so tired after today's game to the point he fell asleep in such an uncomfortable position.

Not only that, he's here for my sake, to give me dinner, and I don't even have to pay for it, yet he ended up waiting in a dingy corridor for nearly two hours. He's not even angry at me and he's saying sorry for doing something so nice for me. Guilt suffuses me as I turn to Daehyun, the boy still in a daze. He tilts his head from one side to the other, making a face at his presumable sore neck.

"Daehyun, I'm sorry," I breathe, "I had no idea you were here; I was out walking around and..." I grimace and wheeze, "I'm so stupid. I'm sorry."

"Youngjae, it's okay," Daehyun returns swiftly, looking starkly surprised. "I'm the one who came without asking." I run my hand up my arm, unable to look Daehyun in the eyes.

"Sorry... Sit anywhere you like. I'll get you something to drink." I hurry into the kitchen, holding my temple as remorse consumes me. The fact that he wanted to get me dinner, and I just left him waiting... He should be out celebrating his winning moment.

I quickly wash my face and hands, staring in the mirror for a moment and sighing. It would have been better if I skipped dinner, honestly. I bring out a glass of green tea for Daehyun and he thanks me, placing it on the ground where he had settled. I sit beside him gingerly, curling up my legs to my chest and limply resting my chin on my knees. Quietness lingers around us as Daehyun unpacks the containers of food, placing it in front of us.

"Were you planning on skipping dinner?" He asks, his guttural rasp a nice touch to his voice. I turn to him and reply after a delayed moment, "Ah... yeah..."

"It's not good for you," Daehyun says, worry permeating his words. "You have to eat." I fold my lips and nod mutely, hugging my legs as I guiltily brood over what I'd done. Daehyun extends the box towards me and I stare at it for a second before taking it, murmuring softly, "Thank you."

Daehyun cracks open his container and begins wolfing it down, his avid eating something I've gotten accustomed to and grown somewhat fond of. I blankly look at the box and Daehyun notices my lack of movement, putting down his container and asking concernedly, "Are you okay?"

I feel like crap. The food's cold now and he had even been waiting for me to come back before eating. I veer myself to face Daehyun, hanging my head low and mumbling, "Daehyun, I'm really sorry."

"Youngjae, it's okay. Don't be sorry," Daehyun answers instantly in a determined tone. I shake my head and ramble, "No, I should be sorry. You must have waited outside for so long and I just took my time walking around, leaving you there..." I run a hand through my hair and sigh feebly. "I'm sorry-"

Warmth grazes my face and I find my fat cheeks being gently held, my eyes swerving up in surprise. Daehyun meets my gaze for a second before his pupils dart away. A tingling sensation bristles my skin as Daehyun says lowly, "...Remember when you stayed over?”

“...You did this.” I recall the day in question, having slept over at Daehyun’s place due to the storm. Daehyun had been apologising profusely for sleeping in bed with me and I’d grasped his face, counting down and making him promise he would not apologise anymore. At that time, I thought he was just excessively shy and polite. Now that I’ve learnt he likes a boy, it explains why he was so careful not to make me feel uncomfortable.

“I’ll count to three.” The familiar words breeze past me, this time comically in Daehyun’s gruff, monotonous voice. “One,” he coughs, and I bite back a laugh at how serious he looks.

“Two,” I bubble, making Daehyun lift his eyes to latch with mine. He chuckles quietly and we finally maintain eye contact, Daehyun grunting, “...Three.”

Daehyun still cradles my face, his hands igniting a ticklish heat over my cheeks. I puff, “You’re supposed to let go at three.”

“Sorry.” Daehyun pulls back, veering his attention back to his food and gulping it down. He grabs his phone, typing for a short moment before putting it away. I watch as he practically stuffs chunks of fish into his mouth and laugh, feeling less weighed down.

“Thank you, Daehyun,” I breathe, picking up my lunchbox and marvelling at it. “You’re really too nice; you shouldn’t have done all this for me. It must have been so troublesome.” It’s unbelievable he came all the way here just because his helper cooked excess. And the fact that he waited for me, instead of just going home…

“I wanted to.” I glance over at Daehyun as he hums without a second thought, wondering why time and time again, even though I’ve dispelled these misgivings, I still let myself ruminate upon them. I’ve firmly crossed it out and concluded that Daehyun’s just being nice, but I keep running back to my doubts. Is Daehyun really too nice to me to be considered friendly or am I just deluding myself?

Daehyun looks to me and I hurriedly turn away, prying open the container and ogling at the food inside. There’s grilled salmon, ebi fry and teriyaki chicken, along with rice and some kimchi. I take a bite, smacking my lips and glad to fill my writhing stomach. Daehyun gestures to the flask remaining in the bag. “There’s soup too.”

I lean back and slant my head towards one side, cheekily saying, “I think I’m in love with your helper.”

Daehyun chuckles and he deliberates on a response, still looking at me as I go back to eating. He touches his cheek and reply, “...Shouldn’t I be the one who you’re in love with?”

His words are slow and I glance back to find his gaze already veered away. I snicker, “Pfft, you weren’t the one who cooked this.”

His reply comes a little late, still in that same unvarying. “What if I was?” I look to him in pleasant surprise. “You really cooked this?”

Daehyun shakes his head with a small, cheeky smile and I scoff, nudging him amusedly. We return to eating, I flicking on the television to a random drama. My belly fills up satisfactorily with food, erasing all traces of the hunger that had been clawing at my tummy.

“Really…” I trail off, munching elatedly. “Thank you, Daehyun. I’d been really hungry, actually, so you’re my hero for tonight.” I turn to Daehyun and scrunch up my lips, whistling, “You really are the perfect guy, aren’t you? Handsome, smart, athletic, multi-talented, and most of all, kind.”

“...You really think I’m the perfect guy?” Daehyun asks, noisy chewing muffling a slight bit of the dialogue from the television.

“Yeah,” I return without a doubt. “I’m jealous of you. Wow, today’s game…” I throw my head back with an exhilarated sigh, clicking my tongue. “What was that? You’re not real, are you? I’m just talking to CG.”

"What was what?" Daehyun melts into a silly smile, patting his cheek lightly.

"You threw the ball and it went straight into the hoop just as the timer hit zero. That was epic. You're going to be the talk of the entire school," I gush. "I seriously can't believe how amazing you are. Almost every shot you made went in."

"Thank you," Daehyun chuckles, hiding his radiant grin behind his fist. "I'm nothing, honestly."

I beam, joking, "As if. You're not real. I don't believe it. No one can be that cool in real life."

"How can I prove I'm real?" Daehyun teasingly asks. I shake my head and insist, "You'll never convince me." I crane my neck and take another bite, bangs falling messily and poking my eyes. After a short pause, Daehyun reaches out his arm and I turn to him in question. His finger prods my forehead and I still, Daehyun brushing away my hair. He mumbles out an apology before saying, "I touched you. Do you believe I'm real now?"

Shaking myself out of my trance, I answer just before I miss a beat, "Nope. You're a robot." This incites another deep laugh in Daehyun, incandescent smile pulling his cheeks up high. He looks so happy; it floods me with just the same.

I sink back as I think of Daehyun's phenomenal moment, letting out an awed sigh. "I'm really so proud of you, Daehyun," I blubber through bites. "When you scored, the entire hall just exploded." And then he'd sprinted over and I'd hugged him, and then, the disastrous accident...

I press my lips together and awkwardly veer my head to Daehyun to find him already looking at me. "And I'm... really sorry about what happened. Junhong pushed me by accident..." I meekly apologise, nibbling on the wall of my cheek as warmth scrawls all over my face.

"It's alright," Daehyun returns, deliquescing into a chuckle, the jubilance in his eyes capable of illuminating the whole room. I'm lucky Daehyun doesn't mind; I would have been seriously grossed out if I was in his position. I embarrassedly tap my lips, hoping my drool didn't leave a nauseous stench on Daehyun's cheek.

"Your fanclub's going to double now," I jest, nibbling on the prawn. "Star player Jung Daehyun." Daehyun emits another laugh, his smile tripling in brilliance. We continue to eat, attention stolen away when the protagonist pecks the male lead on the nose before scurrying away.

Daehyun lets out another chuckle at this point. I offhandedly ask, "Didn't you go and celebrate with your team?" Daehyun shakes his head. He is too humble for words.

Daehyun emanates another laugh out of the blue and I glance over to him, amused to see him so overjoyed. "You're really happy, aren't you?" I'd be too, if I practically lead my team to victory with such a slick three-pointer. "You're wasting the day away, having a boring dinner with me. You should be going out to celebrate."

"It's not boring," he easily replies. "I'd rather have dinner with you." The answer stirs heat through my chest and I peek at Daehyun, meeting his eyes briefly before turning away. It... means something, doesn't it? Or does he just mean that he likes to spend dinner with one person? Daehyun is introverted. It could just be that I'm a confidant of his and he'd rather spend time with just one person he's familiar with.

"...You kissed me."

Daehyun's abrupt, humorous comment has me flushing hard, groaning in humiliation. "I said I was sorry," I whine, hugging my legs tighter as I focus on finishing my dinner. Daehyun has already vacuumed up his lunchbox, laying back with his one hand over his other elbow and the other hand propped up, cheek resting in his palm.

A stifled peal of laughter escapes Daehyun's lips and he repeats, "You kissed me." He's mocking me, great. I'll have to get back at Junhong for this.

"You're never going to let it go, are you?" I sigh, squinting at him.  "Never going to let me live it down." Daehyun merely casts me a dazzling simper and I moan, burying my face in my hands. "Be merciful, oh great Jung Daehyun." He persists in his smile, clearly teasing me, and I cross my arms. "Get out, Jung," I jokingly order, kindling laughter in both of us. He looks so sil