Windy Days, the Unsaid and You (ii)

Daehyun rises pronto, excitement dancing in his pupils. He probably planned to go to the night market with someone else, but the project got in the way. That's the lives of us students; school will always bug us.

A brilliant salmon pink dyes the evening sky like reddened cheeks and sheepishly interlocked fingers, cool air bristling our arms as we amble side by side down the street.

"Do you go to these kind of things often?" I ask.

Daehyun shakes his head, the corners of his mouth hinting subtly of mirth. He brought a windbreaker along, slung over his shoulder.

"People always bring along company," he comments, leaving the rest for my interpretion. The cherry hue dabs a sweet touch onto Daehyun's princely features. "What about you?"

"Sometimes. I went alone once," I reply, recalling my fourteen year old self unbearably squished between people. "It was fine till the couples started swarming in."

"Lover's hang out. It's awkward," Daehyun chuckles. "That's why I watch from afar."

"Well, today, I'm your date," I joke. "So let's go explore to the fullest."

After a pregnant pause, Daehyun hums hoarsely. I lift my head to see a glimpse of the night market, already with a small crowd despite some stores not set up yet. There are people setting up lighting and stands, a spokesman yelling out at the entrance for people to come visit.

We buy hotteok and some dumplings, nibbling on pancakes as we weave through the crowds. Apparently, they cleared the parking lot here since the mall has been demolished, so they’re opening a permanent night market here. There’s a whole variety of shops besides the usual food stands, from clothing stores to candy shops.

“Do you want to try that out?” I tug on Daehyun’s sleeve, squinting at the game store by our side. He stops in his stride, whirring to face what I’m looking at. It’s a toy shooting range where you shoot air bullets into balloons.

Daehyun nods and I excitedly pull out some cash. “One set each for both, please.”

As expected, Daehyun immediately reaches into his pocket to repay me but I quickly poke a dumpling against his lips, distracting him.

“Come on, it’s starting.” I nudge away his arm and pick up a rifle. The bullets come bursting out hard and fast and I manage to hit seven out of the ten balloons. Daehyun scores five out of ten, stopping as the shopkeeper loads another round for me.

“You’re good,” Daehyun praises. I grin, picking up the gun again and firing.

“Nine!” I cheer, patting the top of the black contraption. Maybe I would have rocked at the air weapons club.

Daehyun laughs lightly, firing and hitting a four.

“You guys can shoot at the same time,” the shopkeeper mentions to Daehyun and he simply nods, returning back to watching while I shoot. This time, I cautiously shoot, but sadly get only a seven.

“That’s two hundred and thirty points,” the shopkeeper counts. “You can pick your prizes from the lower rack. Or you can get another three rounds to get the better prizes.”

“They’re all children toys,” I snort amusedly to Daehyun, scanning the building blocks and make-believe cooking sets. He chuckles and I point over to the orange beanie in the corner.

“Oh, that looks good,” I note.

Daehyun leans over the counter and gestures to it. “How much does that cost?”

“Seven hundred and twenty.”

“Do you want to play again?” Daehyun asks. “I can pay for you.”

I tug my lips to the side, mentally counting. Right now, I need at least six more rounds to get it. “It’s alright, Daehyun. I’m tired of playing,” I laugh in return. "You should finish your last round."

Daehyun ponders for a moment as I munch on my pancakes, and then turns to the shopkeeper. “What if I added my points with his?”

The shopkeeper sceptically raises his brows. “You both have three twenty in total now. You need four full scores.”

“Three more,” Daehyun immediately states. He hoists the rifle and I widen my eyes as he accurately hits all the balloons one after another, promptly repeating when the owner sets it up again.

“The beanie, thanks,” Daehyun intones once he finishes, setting down the gun easily in a manner I can’t help but find cool and suave. He hands it to me and I gape at him in disbelief.

“Yah,” I laugh. “Were you pretending to be bad at it?”

“My parents made me take archery when I was young,” Daehyun mumbles sheepishly. “Else, I’d really be scoring that. You’re a natural.”

“Are you also a secret agent?” I chuff lightheartedly, pushing the beanie back into Daehyun’s hands. “Thank you, Daehyun. But you should take it. You won it.”

“I won it for you.” The words seem to leave Daehyun’s lips so innocently and I flush slightly. People don’t dote on me often so I rarely ever hear of someone doing something for my sake, besides from my closest friends. (I’m a loser, basically.)

“Yeah, you won it,” I respond teasingly. Daehyun presses his lips together and lifts the beanie above my head, sliding it on for me. His fingers brush against my ears and he stumbles out an apology.

“...It’s settled now, right?” Daehyun quietly coughs. I inevitably break out into a chuckle and nod, us resuming our walk.

“Thanks, Daehyun.”

It’s a wonder how one word is used to encompass everything I’m feeling right now. It’s not enough because I’ve thanked Daehyun many times and each time, the feelings behind it are all different. I’m in gratitude, but what’s really happening to me is that my cheeks are tingling like they’re gently caressed and I have to use all my strength to hold back an ear-to-ear grin. He's so sweet it's unbelievable. 

We stream down the many stands, halting to ogle at the array of fishes and weird knick knacks. I sneak on a pair of googly glasses onto Daehyun, laughing so hard at his bewildered face that my stomach starts to cramp. An elderly saleswoman tries to pull Daehyun in as we pass, loudly addressing him as “handsome” and making Daehyun flustered. She insistently tries to sell him clothes as Daehyun helplessly gets reeled in. I watch in amusement as the aunt holds a black shirt to Daehyun’s chest, grabbing a few other pieces and matching them to his shoulders.

“Just look at how well it fits you. So handsome! I really can’t believe what I’m looking at,” the woman cajoles. Daehyun sends me a pleading look just as the woman turns to me. “Don’t you agree? It makes him look ten times more handsome.”

I chuckle, nodding lightly.

“See! Your friend agrees. You’ll be stealing even more hearts wearing this. I’ll give you a discount for this shirt, okay?” She packs it without letting Daehyun get in a word, coaxing him to buy the other shirts on display.

“You would look great in these shirts too!” The woman turns to me and I politely shake my head, Daehyun watching wide-eyed as she hands him the bag. I step in and pay for it willingly, declining any more of her offers and leaving with Daehyun.

“I was hoping you’d save me,” Daehyun mumbles, igniting a snicker from me.

“It does look good on you,” I unapologetically chime, handing Daehyun the shirt. He fishes out his wallet and I lightheartedly throw him a warning look.

“Treat it as a thank you gift for all the things you’ve done for me,” I hum.

Daehyun spends a moment staring at the bag like trying to comprehend something before nodding just barely. The wind winds around us against a glowing sunset, our footsteps matching as we slip through the crowd together. The atmosphere brims with liveliness and I ogle at all the attractions. There’s a great busker in the centre singing a few ballads and an awe-inducing spray paint artist using just newspapers and cardboards to make his masterpieces.

For a moment, while we’re amusedly scrutinising the ‘living statue’ man, I suddenly think of how Daehyun and I just met this year. I really am lucky to meet a person like him; I’d even consider it as a once in a lifetime experience. Daehyun is quite essentially perfect. I wish I was like him.

Darkness begins to drift in, painting a contrast between the luminant store signs and neon lights. Daehyun’s arm brushes against mine as we squirm through the now bustling crowd, jostling our way towards the end.

“Shall we go?” I question, glancing to my phone. It’s already half past seven and there isn’t much left to check out.

“I should go home to finish my part of the project.” I don’t want to do so little and take credit for Daehyun’s stunning works.

“Oh.”

Noticing Daehyun’s deflated shoulders, I shoot up in alarm. “We can stay if you want,” I hastily answer.

He politely shakes his head and I apologetically follow behind him.

“Do you want to play one last game?” I ask softly, hoping to change Daehyun’s mind. He perks up and follows my finger to the basketball game machines lined up under a red canopy. There’s a couple of people there, cheering and letting out groans in unison.

“Sure.”

I grasp Daehyun’s wrist and pull him towards the stand. The noisy atmosphere teems at our ears as we stand beside a bickering couple.

“Hurry up, we’re running out of time!” The girl puffs as the boy tosses another ball into the hoop, missing.

“You’re kidding me!” The girl frustratedly shoves him aside, throwing the basketballs herself.

“Show off your skills,” I whisper, flashing Daehyun a thumbs up. Daehyun chuckles, picking up a ball languidly as the timer starts. He passes it to me and I throw, missing by an inch.

“Oh, you’re good,” Daehyun says as I grab another hurriedly, Daehyun holding the ball stationary in his arms.

“You better not pull the same thing again,” I laugh, elbowing him gently before tossing again. Daehyun patiently waits and then expertly throws it, scoring instantly. In half the time given, Daehyun has already made so many hoops we’ve nearly broken the record score. I watch in awe from the sides as Daehyun effortlessly tosses again.

“Aren’t you going to play?” Daehyun pauses and I squeak, the timer counting down.

“You play,” I squawk in frenzy, “you play!”

I quickly dig out a ball and urge him to keep going, eagerly bouncing up and down as we hit the record. The couple beside us have just ended their game but they loiter behind to watch Daehyun, the girl crossly folding her arms.

“See, that’s the good thing about have a basketballer as a boyfriend!” She huffs, stalking away. “I should have gone with Kangjoon!”

“Wait, honey!”

Daehyun and I exchange glances and muffle back laughter. The shopkeeper grabs us two cute rabbit soft toys as prizes, evidently impressed.

"I should bring you along every time I go to the arcade," I marvel, playing with the bunny in my arms. The one I got has an adorable clown-like face while Daehyun’s has a mask over its mouth, a zipper in place.

"You're gonna make use of me?" Daehyun chuckles and I nod unashamedly.

I reach over to play with the mask on Daehyun’s bunny, teasingly raising my brows. “Is this familiar?”

Daehyun instantly flushes as I giggle uncontrollably.

“You still haven’t told me why,” I mention, envisioning Daehyun with half his face obscured. Why not flaunt his chiseled looks?

“...People don’t talk to me as much with the mask on,” Daehyun explains, not an ounce of conceitedness in his voice. He sounds more reluctant and nervous than anything.

“Oh,” I stare from my plush toy to his, thinking of something else to say.

"That will be you," I say softly as I prod the bunnies together, us pacing out of the noise-ridden night market, “and this will be me.”

The sky is particularly gloomy for it to be before eight, a swirl of murky grey within the dark azure.

"What shall we name them?" I ponder, pinching the rabbit's nose. "Toto? Dada?"

Daehyun hums to himself. "Keke." He squeezes the rabbit in his large hands.

"That's cute." I gently poke my rabbit, thinking harder. "How'd you think of it?"

"...This is supposed to be me, right?" Daehyun coughs, bumping the soft toys together like I had. "You make me smile and laugh."

I beam up at Daehyun, letting the words sink into the back of my mind. That should be the name for my plush, shouldn’t it? After all, the easiest thing to do with Daehyun is be happy.

"Then I'll call mine Joko, since I make you laugh."

“Okay,” Daehyun chuckles. A rumble interrupts our conversation and Daehyun clears his throat, discreetly elbowing his stomach.

“You’re not full?” I chuckle, Daehyun hesitantly nodding after a while. “Shall we get dinner?”

Daehyun whirrs his head towards me. “But I thought you wanted to go home.”

“I can’t abandon my project partner on an empty stomach,” I declare, scouting the places for restaurants. “I’m not in a rush and no one’s waiting for me at home anyway.”

I look up at Daehyun to find him grinning softly, his eye smile absolutely contagious. He parts his lips but closes them ultimately, smile growing wider as I blink questioningly with a short laugh.

The restaurants are all crowded since it’s a Saturday evening, and we search around fruitlessly for a eatery without a queue. The only options left are those fast food restaurants or convenience stores.

“Where do you want to eat?” A cold wind blows past us and I grimace, sniffing as the chilliness begins to accumulate. Daehyun notices and tugs the jacket off his shoulder, draping it over me without a word.

“Daehyun?”

He holds it up and slips my arms into the sleeves carefully. His jacket smells of fresh laundry and mint, and a discernible scent that identifies as Daehyun’s.

“It’s okay, um-”

“I brought it for you,” Daehyun replies. He returns to looking around with his nose scrunched up despite his weighty words. He’d been carrying that blue jacket over his shoulder all this time, for me? Not only did he bother to think about me, but he didn’t even tell me to take it myself.

Daehyun is impossible.

“Sorry,” Daehyun pulls me out of my trance. “I don’t really want to eat burgers.”

A hint of disappointment trails within my gut to know we’ll be parting right here. I attempt to slip off the jacket but Daehyun speaks again.

“If you don’t need to go back now, do you think…” Daehyun scratches the back of his head. “We could cook up something? Together.”

I sink back into Daehyun’s jacket, the fur grazing my skin warmly. “Yeah. That sounds great. What do you have at home?”

Daehyun sheepishly scratches his head. “Um. I haven’t used the kitchen in a while, so…”

“A trip to the supermarket it is!” I proclaim, leading Daehyun towards the huge grocery by the corner. Daehyun quietly follows as I pull out a trolley, a burst of air-conditioning and bright lighting greeting us as we walk in. We stroll down the aisle as I peruse the products available.

“Doesn’t your helper cook for you?” I ask, skipping down the aisle.

I turn to find Daehyun keeping mum, head lowered. “Daehyun?”

He snaps his head up, wide eyes finding my face hastily. “Yeah?” He averts his gaze, looking to a middle-aged couple shopping nearby with a toddler in their trolley.

“Why doesn’t your helper cook for you?” I repeat.

“Oh. My tutor realised I was cooping myself up in the house.” Daehyun ruffles his hair embarrassedly. “So he forced me to go out by telling the helper not to cook dinner for me and banning me from the kitchen.”

“Sounds like he cares for you a lot,” I beam.

Daehyun nods. “He’s like a big brother to me.”

“Isn’t this technically against his rules?” I smother back laugh.

Daehyun squirms. “I went out with you today, so it’s an exception.”

He randomly picks off a cake mix box from the shelves, inspecting it before putting it back. My bunny sits between my hands on the trolley and I set it down in the child’s seat. Daehyun grins, putting his own plush with mine.

“Hey, what do you want to make?” I squint at the half off milk in the dairy section. My cooking skills aren’t that advanced so...

“Cheese-baked rice? That’s manageable, right?”

“I hope so,” I chuckle, sifting out my phone and searching for a recipe. “Let’s see, we need rice, cheese, butter, sausages, mushroom soup… Do you want tomatoes and chicken?”

“Mm,” Daehyun says cheerily. That’s a lot but knowing Daehyun, he can probably stomach everything.

He paces towards the fridge, picking up some butter and two packets of shredded Mozzarella and sliced cheddar. “I have rice at home. Are these okay?”

I hum and Daehyun dumps them into the cart, the wheels rattling against the crevices in the floor. The overhead announcements along with the beeps and chatter set a soothing tone as we amble together. I haven’t gone to the supermarket with anyone for a while. The last time I’d went with my parents was years ago, so this induces a nostalgic, family-like feeling.

Daehyun reminds me of an excited son darting around and peering at all the things on sale.

“Sausages…” he mumbles to himself, thumbing through the packaged food and looking to me for affirmation once he settles on one. It’s cute that he does that.

Daehyun leans over again and reads through the ingredient list, hand on the shopping cart and guiding it to another aisle. He scrutinises the meat on display and picks up a huge whole chicken up, blinking at me.

“I don’t think we’ll be eating that much,” I chortle, to which Daehyun flushes and sandwiches his lips together. “Or you can leave it for next time,” I suggest.

“Oh, right. Wait, next time?” Daehyun blinks, grabbing some sliced chicken instead.

“Yeah, when you cook,” I say, glancing past Daehyun for a can of mushroom soup. I skim past the label, looking for a cheaper one.

We head on to the vegetables section and pick out a few tomatoes. I teach Daehyun a bit on how to choose which one are the just ripe ones, pointing out a few bruises as he nods attentively. He swings the bag we gathered, still tugging the side of the trolley as we wind out of the aisle. A cherub child bolts past us suddenly, stopping to peer up at us curiously. Daehyun stares fondly at her, waving lightly.

She tilts her head further and then proceeds to waddle to a shelf, jumping to reach a box of cereal. Daehyun thumbs the box out but the girl shakes her head, adamantly leaping up and down while her two ponytails sway along with her.

Daehyun watches for a moment before catching the girl in one of her jumps. He lifts her gently up to a shelf and she grabs on to the box happily. Daehyun sets her down, a kind, fatherly smile on his face.

“Thank you, oppa,” she blubbers, snivelling her nose. The patter of feet resume and she runs off, hugging the box against her chest.

“You’re a natural,” I breathe, still warmed by that heartening moment.

Daehyun bashfully squeezes his wrist. “I really like kids.”

“A family man,” I chime. “So you want children?”

“Yeah. Five,” Daehyun announces.

I widen my eyes and chuckle. “Your wife’s gonna have a hard time.”

“I’ll adopt,” Daehyun beams. “What about you? How many kids do you want?”

“Eleven kids. Big enough for a soccer team,” I decide.

Daehyun laughs, peal of joy soothing to the ears. “And you think five is a lot.”

“I was inspired by you,” I chortle, glancing down to my phone. “Oh hey, it looks like we got everything. Do you wanna get anything else?”

Daehyun purses his lips and scours the place. “Let’s get ice cream. What’s your favourite?”

“Um… Green Tea or Soda.”

Daehyun nods, mulling over it for a long moment, before dashing off. He returns with an armful of Cookies and Cream and Green Tea ice cream, ploppping it into the trolley. We wheel the trolley to the check-out counter, Daehyun taking out his debit card immediately. The cashier hands us a card, coaxing us to come shop again. I squint at the receipt, thumbing through the notes in my wallet.

“Here’s half of it,” I hold out the cash to Daehyun but he simply stares at it. I look down to find he seized the chance to grab all the bags.

“Hey.” I frown. “Give me some of those.”

Daehyun stares back innocuously, gesturing at the bunnies he left behind for me to carry. I reach over to take the bags, but he insistently maintains his grip.

“Daehyun!” I laugh, trying my best to pry a bag from his fingers. He keeps quiet as I adamantly hold his wrist, successfully hooking a plastic bag while avoiding scratching his fingers.

I make a face upon realising all I took was the tomatoes. Daehyun doesn’t seem to be relenting so I give up.

“Come on. At least take my share.”

Daehyun doesn’t reply, hand fiddling slightly. I sigh, stepping up to him and tucking it into his shorts pocket. Daehyun blinks at me, his ears pink from the bristling coldness.

“We bought more than needed for one dinner. If you pay me, then… you have to eat with me again,” Daehyun coughs.

“That’s not very threatening,” I answer, wheeling the trolley back. We walk out of the supermarket, the night time buzz accompanying us.

My ringtone interrupts the peacefulness between us. “Sorry.” I struggle to get my phone.

“Hyung, I got a reservation at the restaurant.”

I hum in satisfaction. “That’s great, Jongup. Himchan-hyung still doesn’t know, right?”

“Nope. Don’t you trust me, hyung? I’m a master of keeping secrets.”

I scoff amusedly. “Mm, I trust you. Can I talk to you later, Jongup?”

“Hyung, are you on a date?”

“Yep. I’ll call you back later,” I deadpan, bidding Jongup goodbye and cutting the call. The one thing I’d put out of my mind for today comes back to sit on my shoulders as I let out a breath. How many months are there left till Himchan graduates? He’ll even busier with this scholarship on his hands, doing all the paperwork and interviews… Will I get to see him anymore?

There I go again. Yoo Youngjae, the selfish boy who only thinks for himself. Why can’t I just be wholly happy for Himchan?

“Are you okay?”

Surprised, I glance at Daehyun to find him peering worriedly at me.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assure.

He melts into a persistent look of consternation. "Is something bothering you?"

How can he tell so easily? I embarrassedly duck my head, trying to hide my face. If I’m an open book to Daehyun right now, I better not dampen Himchan’s mood with my sulking.

Daehyun shifts nearer to me. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing. Sorry to bother you.”

I swing the two bunnies in my hands, looking up at the blackened night sky. I’m supposed to be independent after so many years of being left alone. Yet I’m here worrying even someone like Daehyun. I really haven’t grown.

“You can tell me,” Daehyun’s voice drops to a placating tone. I stare at him and relent, looking down at my feet.

“My friend got a scholarship. He'll be going overseas to study.” Even when I say it, it sounds so simply and uncomplicated.

“That’s all. Sorry. I’m just being overdramatic.”

“You’ll miss him a lot?” Daehyun breathes.

I nod quietly. “Sorry, let’s talk about something else. It’s really nothing. I’m just being spoilt.”

I smile at Daehyun but he returns a slow blink, my dejection extending over to his expression.