Life...

Looking from afar, seeing your best friend being courted by another guy isn’t something so pleasant for someone like me; whom had been having feelings for his own best friend for over 4 years already. Seeing her happy has always been a pleasure in my eyes. As long as she’s happy, I’ll be happy too, even though I really want her for myself but seeing her happy, smiling, laughing with that guy, I have nothing much to say. This heavy feeling on my chest, whenever I see her hanging out with that guy in the school’s cafeteria, day by day it’s getting harder to be taken care off. It has been 3 months that she’s being courted by that guy named Jongsuk. Just last week, she told me to meet her in front of her house, to catch a movie together.

“Jongin ah~ Come over tonight! Let’s watch a movie together! I miss you!” she said on the phone.

Just the sound of her voice, my nerve system started to work on properly but unfortunately she forgot about our arrangement on which I had to wait for her outside her house until it was midnight. Turns out she was staying with her boyfriend. She didn’t text me the next day but I know she didn’t mean it so I’ll have to forgive her for that. Being mad at her won’t be nice and it won’t make me any happier, especially when she told me last month that she had a heart disease. It broke my heart when I saw her being broken after knowing her disease. Seeing her smiling now is what I really want and I should thank Jongsuk hyung for such achievement. I’ve been going in and out of the hospital, asking if my blood is suitable with Soojung’s and thankfully we both have the same blood A type. The reason I’ve been going in and out, is not because I wanted to only check if my blood is suitable for her but it has been confirmed that I’ve been diagnosed with a disease myself. I’ve been confirmed to have brain tumor, on which I just knew and it had went up to the last stage. Asking the doctor, if Soojung could accept my heart as a replacement for damaged one; thank god, it’s suitable. Knowing her, she won’t accept it if she ever knew this. It almost broke my heart when I saw her face the moment her previous donor refused to do what he had promised.

***

Soojung walked into the hospital, meeting her doctor for the fifth time that month. She brought me with her; I felt happy about it.

“Soojung sshi?” the doctor calls out.

“Yes?”

“You…ummm have a donor,” the doctor informed, making her widened her eyes.

“How is that possible? How about the person?” Soojung asked as I kept quiet. The doctor stared at me but I shook my head secretly, telling him not to tell her it’s from me.

“The person would love to remain quiet,” the doctor said.

“He’ll probably write you a letter~” I smiled at her, but she frowned.

“It’s important for me to meet the person…” she said.

“He doesn’t want to but what I could say, he’s dealing with his own disease, so he wanted to give something from him that isn’t damaged,” the doctor told her and she went still.

“He’s…dying…?” she said. She rested her head on my shoulder as caressed her head, I told her, “maybe at least he’s doing his last good deed to you?” She nodded.

“Please tell him that I’m really thankful… I would love to meet his family,” she said, “the fact that he’s giving half of his heart to me is an unthinkable good deed…”

“Maybe after you got your operation done okay?” I told her.

“Yes, you will be submitted into the hospital in 2 days,” the doctor informed.

***

“Jongin ah! Where are you? Why aren’t you here?!” she shouted in the phone while I was driving. I knew I was late, stupid meeting.

“I’m on my way okay!” I shouted back and she cut our conversation. I ended our phone call and concentrated on the road. Suddenly a car from the other side came to cut my road but he was too close to me and I just had to avoid the car. Fortunately, his car didn’t touch mine but unfortunately I turned my wheel way too narrow and I went to other side of the opposite side of the road. Everything, my childhood, my parents, my sisters, my first pet, my first and current best friend, my first love… everything came to me, a flashback of my life. I’ve lived a decent life. I saw three cars coming towards me as I drove across the road and then I felt a hard bump.

***

“Soojung sshi!” the nurses entered her room, “you will have your operation tomorrow. Is that fine?” Soojung smiled at them and she nodded.