Letting Go

I Love You But I Also Love You

After an hour filled with laughter and smiles, they all decided to leave cause it was getting late and she needed rest but Ryouta, Luhan, Daehyun and Jiyong decided to stay for a few more hours.

“…Say, did Hajoon perhaps appear?” Hana suddenly asked after they all laughed at a joke Jiyong had just said, Daehyun and Luhan nodded at the same time.

“He’s the one who actually that saved you not us” Luhan said, Daehyun nodded. “He was really worried about you..”

Hana tilted her head, “He saved me?”

 

“Call the ambulance, now!” Hajoon yelled and the blonde didn’t waste a second and fished out his phones, calling for help as fast as he can while her brother just sat there staring at the girl who laid on his lap, not moving an inch.

“They’re on their way” Luhan said as he stuffed his phone in his pocket then glanced at him who remained silent, it was uncomfortable and the silence was just suffocating. He looked at the brunette who was also quiet staring at her brother, he opened his mouth but was cut off as the brunette raised his hand.

“Shh..” Daehyun put a finger on his mouth and gestured towards her brother, “Be quiet and listen..” He said and the blonde nodded averting his attention to Hajoon. “We might find answers…”

Hajoon shook the girl lightly, “Ya, brat, wake up” He said calmly and silence just responded him and he just scoffed, “Ya, don’t play around with me, wake up” He said sternly but still, nothing and just seeing her like this, something inside him had triggered and tears just started to fall without him knowing.

He shook the girl once more, “Stop being so still! Wake up, you can’t die now! You have so much to do in life, you…you aren’t suppose die now, not like this..” He felt something inside him and it was a horrible feeling, the guilt was coming back. “I-it’s not suppose to end like, you’re suppose to live life happily with smiles! Come on, please, just..wake up.

“Mom will never forgive me if..” He cried as he pulled her closer into a hug, “Hana, I…I’m sorry”

 

They looked at her who just remained silent, trying to let their words sink in and after awhile, she smiled softly then all of a sudden, she shot her head up and her smile had faded. Everyone turned to her direction, the door was open and Hajoon was there.

“Hey brat” Hajoon greeted before walking towards her who just stared blankly at him wondering why he was still here, shouldn’t he be somewhere else? And just by looking at her, he answered her question, “I canceled the flight to save you”

“Why?” Hana asked almost immediately, her tone was icy that it made them a bit afraid. “Why would you save this brat that you hate so much? Am I not a burden to you? I mean, that is why you left right?” She asked harshly.

“Hana” Ryouta said giving her look and she stopped, she scoffed before looking away while crossing her arms. “You should listen to Hajoon even if he’s a total , you might able to understand some things” He said but she was so stubborn.

“I think you should just tell her” Luhan said. “We’ll be over there so we won’t disturb your family quarrel” He said as they walked towards the other side of the room then observed them from afar.

Hajoon rolled his eyes and kicked the bed making her flinch then looking at him with wide eyes, “Pay attention to me will ya?” He asked and she just glared at him but whatever, at least he had her attention right? He softened and sat on her bed, “So, how should I start?”

“You can start by getting the hell away from me” Hana muttered, Hajoon turned to her and simply smiled as he let out a sigh.

“Don’t you ever just wonder where did our past selves go? We were so stupid and happy back then, now everything is so sad and serious…” Hajoon asked and she just stared at him. “Do you still remember playing hide and seek together at the back yard?” He let out a light chuckle, “You could never find me”

“That’s because you cheated!” Hana said then she just sighed, “I don’t know how but I’m sure you cheated” She looked away with a pout, he shook his head and smiled knowing that she was finally talking to him and she too was quite happy that they’re actually talking like this again.

“You want to know my hiding place?” Hajoon asked and she looked at him, curious on what his answer was. He gestured her to come closer and she did, “In your heart” He whispered and she pushed him who was laughing away.

“Wow Hajoon, never knew you were cheesy” Jiyong said and the two siblings turned to them.

Hana pointed to her brother, “This kid used to cling on me every day, it’s like living in the same house is not enough for him” She stated. “But in the end I don’t mind because he buys me food” She shrugged.

“And I end up coming home with an empty wallet” Hajoon muttered making her snicker.

“Well, seems like all the tension is gone” Ryouta smiled. “I think it’s time to tell us why you’ve been an , Hajoon” He said looking at him who was became silent, he turned to Hana then at them then back to Hana.

After a few moments he let out a sigh, “Do you know when we visited mom for the last time?” He asked and she nodded slowly. “When you went out to buy a drink, me and mom talked and she told me that she didn’t have much time left and…I promised”

“Promise?” Hana asked and he nodded before looking away.

“She told me to take care of you and I promised” Hajoon replied and Hana just stared at him, “Now, before you get pissed off and scream at me, I need to explain something, the reason why I did that was because-“

He got cut off, “Promised to what? Take care of me? So pushing me out of your life and leaving was your way of taking care of me? Wow, so that’s your definition of taking care of me” Hana hissed. “You know what, I don’t want to hear any of this anymore, off!” She kicked him off the bed.

Hajoon fell on the floor, he winced as rubbed his back, “Argh, what the have you been doing, Hana?! My back hurts like hell!” He wailed as he looked at her who rolled her eyes and looked away. He stood up, “You didn’t even let me finish and you’re already accusing me?”

“Whatever, I just know that whatever you’ll say is complete bull!” Hana said and then pointed to the door, “Now go out now!” She shouted but he still stood there. “What the hell are you waiting for, get the out!”

Daehyun was about to open his mouth but Ryouta stopped him, “It’s best to be quiet when they start screaming and swearing at each other because…do you even want to be involve in their fight? I mean, those two are the most scariest people I’ve ever met” The brunette shook his head and stayed quiet.

“You know what, you! I don’t have time to deal with your bull!” Hajoon yelled before turning around and walking towards the door, “Tch, it was a mistake to even come visit you” He muttered before grabbing the doorknob.

“So what? You’re just going to leave like that?” Hana scoffed. “I thought you promised to take care of me? You’re really the worst brother” She muttered.

Hajoon twitched his eye and turned around, “What the is wrong with you? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to leave or take care of you?! For ’s sake, make up your mind woman!” He yelled as he ran his fingers through his hair, getting frustrated by the second.

The other people at the other side of the room was making themselves comfortable in the sofa provided, “You know, this could be a drama” Jiyong said to no one in particular, everyone rolled their eyes and continued to watch the sibling’s quarrel. “But damn, this is taking too long, just make up already!” He complained.

“Be quiet” Ryouta said sternly as he smacked Jiyong’s head.

“Yea, it is taking a bit too long, I’m going to get some snacks” Daehyun said as he rose up from his seat and walked out of the room with Ryouta accompanying him.

Hana stayed quiet, she wanted to know why he did whatever he did but then another part of her just doesn’t want to hear it,  she just doesn’t know what to do but stare at him who stared at her back and after a few moments, he calmed down and let out a sigh.

“Look, I don’t want to scream and argue but you are really getting on my nerves so can we please just talk calmly?” Hajoon asked and she nodded slowly. “And please, don’t cut me off because if you do that one more time, I swear, I am so done” He muttered before walking towards her.

Hana remained quiet and cautiously stared at him, Daehyun and Ryouta entered the room with snacks and went to the sofa once again, Daehyun nudged Luhan, “So, did we miss something?” He asked and the blonde shook his head.

“Not really but I think Hajoon’s finally going to tell his reason. That is, if Hana stops cutting him off” Luhan replied and took some snacks from the brunette.

“I promised to take care of you and I didn’t mind it a single bit because I liked following you around 24/7 cause you’re my baby sister” Hajoon started and Hana unknowingly smiled, it had been a long time since he called her by that nickname instead of brat. “But one day, I just thought about it, having you around all the time, you would depend on me until the end and I just-“

“You know I can take care of myself” Hana said and he gave a look at her, “Oh, err…s-sorry..” She mumbled before gesturing him to go one. “I’ll shut up now…”

“If I kept that up, you’ll forever be depending on me and I just wondered, what would have happened if I was gone?” Hajoon asked, Hana was about to open but stopped when she noticed her brother turning to her with another look, “Seriously Hana, could ya just stop and listen?”

Hana bit her bottom lip, “Hey, I can’t help it okay?” She shrugged. “And besides, you’ve got your answer, you’re gone and this is what I have become, because of you I am like this” She said pointing at herself and he looked down.

“I know and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you..” Hajoon sighed, all the guilt was coming back again.”But at that time I didn’t know, I thought that because you were always with me, you wouldn’t know what to do when I’m gone because you’ve spent your whole life being with me protecting you, you would never know how to face the harsh cruel world that I’ve been making you avoid.

And that’s why I left…I wanted you to be strong, independent but I knew that when I leave, I would hurt you so I’m truly sorry for that but..I just wanted to see you succeed and live a happier life even if I’m not there by your side but I never knew that I was so damn wrong, you turned the opposite, you changed and became worse, I didn’t intend it to be like that…”

Hana remained silent as she let his words sink in, she slowly understood what he felt and started to feel bad that she had been cursing and hating him all that time when he was sort of helping her face the world but he was wrong, she couldn’t do it alone, she still needed him to guide her.

“You idiot..” Hana muttered as tears had suddenly formed, “Don’t you know that you should have guided me, help me when I’m in need like a real brother should do instead of just leaving so that I could face it alone, that’s not how it works idiot” She added, tears falling down her cheeks.

Hajoon nodded, “Yea, why didn’t the past me think of that…” He sighed and then flashed a weak smile at her, “But I did take care of you, well, you might not have noticed but I’m the one who’s been paying for everything, the house, the food you eat, school and other stuff..”

“What? That was you?” Hana asked and he nodded.

“Yea, what did you think? Food was just magically appearing in the fridge? And that the house you live in was free? And the school you attend was free because they just love you” Hajoon rolled his eyes and she furrowed her brows. “I’m kidding, geez, can’t take a joke?”

“Tch, whatever..” Hana looked away and crossed her arms.

“Hey, you should be grateful” Hajoon said. “And I’m also the one that took care of those bullies for me so no need to thank me” He said and she turned to him with wide eyes, “Yup, I did that for you and don’t worry, I didn’t really hurt them, just threatened them about this and that, no big deal..”

Hana now realizes everything, why the bullying stopped, why food was magically appearing in the fridge, why everything in her life was actually great because Hajoon was taking care of everything and in that time, she could’ve been successful but she instead became this, she realized that all this time he actually cared about her and she used to think otherwise, his attitude to her that ended her with pain was sort helpful because she learnt to let some things go but she took most of it to heart and often broke down, she was still weak and he was trying to help her.

She remained silent once again, Hajoon wiped her tears and let out a light chuckle, “You had always been a crybaby” He smiled and then patted her back, “I hope you understand and forgive me because now, I know that I’ve done wrong and I’m never going to leave you again”

Hana looked up and more tears fell, she leaned close and wrapped her arms around him, she hugged him tight, “Nah, I’m the one to blame, why couldn’t I have realized that you’ve been looking out for me this whole time” A smile formed and he hugged her back.

“It’s alright, it doesn’t really matter now, I’m back and this stupid fight is finally done” Hajoon said. “I’m just happy everything is going back to normal” He added.

“OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO TOUCHING!!”

The siblings immediately let go of each other and turned to see Jiyong who was crying his heart out, Ryouta scolded him because he had ruined the moment, Luhan and Daehyun too were quite annoyed at his act.

Hana turned to her brother who shrugged, “Jiyong has been watching too much dramas recently…” He said and she nodded before looking at him who was still trying to hold his tears but he was failing desperately.

She watched as Ryouta handed a tissue to Jiyong and laughed at how emotional he could get and then she turned to her brother, “Say, what time is it?” She asked.

He checked his watched and turned to her once again, “It’s 8, why?” He asked and a smile was plastered on her face, she pushed herself off the bed and he widened his eyes, “Ya, what’re you doing? You’re not supposed to be doing anything right now, you should rest!”

“I’m fine” Hana said as he helped her stand up straight, “Can we go on a short trip?”

~*~

“You’re crazy, Hana”

“Shut up, this will only take a minute”

“G-guys, I think I heard something!”

“Jiyong, for the last time, no ghost will come and eat you here okay? Besides, I bet they’ll be scared of your hideous face instead..”

Jiyong hit Hajoon’s arm hard but it didn’t affect him who smirked, “Hana, Joonie is being a meanie” He whined cutely towards the younger girl who rolled her eyes once again.

“Be quiet Jiyong or else I’ll call the ghost to eat you alive” Hana muttered and the latter nodded before he went closer to Ryouta who was next to him, “Seriously, I don’t get why you’re scared, what dramas have you been watching?”

“What do you mean you don’t get it? We’re at a freaking cemetery, it’s 9.30pm and it’s so dark here!” Jiyong exclaimed. “And I’ve recently watched ‘The Ghost-Seeing Detective, Cheo Yeong’…” He added and looking around cautiously.

“Oh, I like that drama, the story was very good” Daehyun said with two thumbs up, “The actress who plays Nayoung is really pretty and cute” He added. “Although I kind of cried during the last episode, Nayoung-ah…” He frowned and everyone just looked at him weirdly.

“Ah..so busan boy here is a fanboy for her” Luhan said and the brunette smiled shyly and nodded. “You look so weird now” He added before taking a step away from him.

“Although I don’t understand how she was alive in the end” Hana said and Daehyun too nodded because he doesn’t understand that part either. “But it doesn’t matter, it was satisfying especially how Sunwoo changed so drastically”

Jiyong blinked a few times, “Wait a minute…be quiet!” He suddenly exclaimed making everyone flinch. “I don’t want to know what happens, I still haven’t watched that episode yet! Don’t spoil!!” He said and everyone shook their heads.

“Wow, never knew you watched dramas” Daehyun said and Hana merely shrugged saying she just watched it because she was bored but sometimes she gets hooked up with some dramas. “What drama are you watching now? I’m watching ‘My Dear Cat’”

Hana eyed Daehyun, “I think you really like that actress” She chuckled and the brunette laughed nervously, “Don’t worry, I love her too” She smiled.

“We’re here”

They all stopped and stared at the grave in front of them, the grave of Park Seo Yeon, Hana and Hajoon’s mother, the two siblings went down and bowed showing their respects before sitting up straight, “Hello mom, sorry I didn’t come here this morning..” She started. “But, I didn’t come alone this time, I came with Hajoon and my friends” She smiled as she turned to her brother.

“Hi mom” Hajoon said then looked down, “I’m sorry I haven’t visited you in so long, I’m sorry I didn’t take care of Hana so please forgive me for breaking my promise, I haven’t really been such a good brother and son..” He looked up to Hana. “But from now on, I’ll be a good brother from now on”

Hana smiled as she patted her brother’s back, “It’s alright bro, I’m just finally happy that we’re all here again, mom, you and me” She said as tears began to fall.

“You know mom, recently she’s been a total crybaby” Hajoon said, ruffling her hair.

After a few moments, it was getting really late and Jiyong felt a bit paranoid being in the cemetery at night so he really wanted to leave but before that, they all gave their respects to the sibling’s mother before walking away but Hana still wanted to stay a little bit longer.

“Alright, be careful ok” Hajoon said and she nodded. “Ya, you two, wait for her and make sure she’s safe” He instructed Luhan and Daehyun who nodded before he walked away with Ryouta and Jiyong.

It seemed as that Hana didn’t notice the presence of the two so they just listened to her, “I’m happy mom” She smiled. “I met a lot of interesting people, they’re really popular in my school and they call themselves B.A.P and EXO. They’re really fun to be with especially Luhan and Daehyun”

The two smiled knowing that, “Should I tell you why? Well, Luhan is really kind, it’s nice being with him, a very good opponent when it comes to football because once he has the ball, it’s so damn hard to get it from him, he’s one of the smartest in all my classes so it’s really good to have him by my side and no, I don’t cheat anymore if that’s what you’re wondering” She smiled.“He loves to proclaim himself as manly and I agree, he is quite manly but he looks too cute” She laughed.

Luhan furrowed his brows, “I’m not cute..” He uttered making Daehyun snicker.

“And then there’s Daehyun, he’s a great guy but he’s too noisy and whines a lot” Hana said.

“Wha-? I don’t whine!” Daehyun protested quietly making Luhan let out a snicker, he was having a hard time containing it since the brunette’s face was so priceless and it kind of looked like this D:

“He loves food too much and if he doesn’t get his food, he starts to whine but if you take his food, you’re dead meat because he will do whatever he can to get back his precious food, it’s amusing and annoying at the same time” She chuckled. “He’s the mood maker and sometimes just too full of himself, he’s average when it comes to his studies and he is quite bad in chemistry, I’m his tutor by the way. He’s also a good opponent in football, both are really good so I can’t pick who plays better”

Daehyun smirked as he crossed his arms, “Well, I’m definitely the better one” The blonde rolled his eyes at his statement and choose to ignore it because it was just not worth it.

“The thing is, those two really helped me realize that I shouldn’t be like this, I should break free and just live life to the fullest, I feel as if the world has gone brighter and I survived, this is my second chance in life and I’m going to make sure I won’t look at the bad things but also the good things” Hana said putting her fist in the air. “But the thing that I will never understand is why do they like me…”

Luhan and Daehyun just stood there, hearing her say a few more words and then she stood up and turned around, eyes wide open upon seeing the two there all this time, they heard everything she had said and she just stood there awkwardly now.

“Hajoon wanted us to stay with you in case something had happened” Luhan said and she nodded lightly. “Are you err..ready to go or do you want to stay here more?” He asked and she shook her head.

“Have you two been standing there this whole time?” Hana asked and the two nodded and there was a short pause, “This is embarrassing…” She uttered and then looked up at them, “Say, would you guys like me to introduce you to my mom?”

The two blinked a few times, not really understanding what she was saying right now, Daehyun tilted his head, “What do you mean?” He asked and she grabbed their wrists and dragged the two towards her mother’s grave.

She turned to the grave and smiled, “Mom, these are my friends, the two people that I just talked about, Daehyun and Luhan”

Luhan bowed, “Hi Mrs Kim, I’m Luhan” He started. “Hana is always doing crazy things so I’ll make sure to take care of her for you so don’t worry” He smiled. “And please ignore what she has said about me, we all know that I’m manly and not cute”

Daehyun then bowed too, “Hey Mrs Kim, I’m Daehyun and I really like you’re daughter, please give us your blessings” He said bluntly making Hana blush a little, Luhan had his mouth slightly open. “Most of what she said was true but I do not whine, I demand”

“Yeah right” Luhan drawled as he rolled his eyes earning a glare from the brunette. “Oh Mrs Kim, I think me and Hana look better together than the idiot beside me” He smiled ignoring the fact that Daehyun was mentally kicking him.

“You little -“ Daehyun was about to lunge himself towards the blonde but got stopped, Hana had appeared in between them and smiled at the both.

“You two should consider on getting married, you two are cute together” Hana joked and the two gagged before protesting to her making her let out a chuckle before looking at Daehyun, “Thanks for helping me move on from my grudge towards my mom” Daehyun smiled softly at her and nodded before she turned to Luhan, “And thank you”

Luhan smiled sheepishly before scratching his neck, “I didn’t really do anything much..”

“That just means I’m the more significant one haha!” Daehyun exclaimed happily and then he became quiet when Hana gave a look at him, “Sorry…”

She looked back at the blonde, “It doesn’t really matter whether you did anything or whatever, I’m thankful that you were there by my side” She pulled him into a hug making the blonde widen his eyes and the sudden skinship.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be with you always” Luhan said softly before hugging her back.

“Hey~ How come I don’t get a hug?” Daehyun whined, pouting cutely.

“So this is how you ‘demand’ huh?” Luhan asked mockingly, making air quotes with his hands, Daehyun furrowed his brows and looked away muttering a ‘shut up’.

Hana chuckled before letting go of Luhan and pulled the brunette into a hug, Daehyun smirked happily as he wrapped his arms around her, sticking a tongue out towards the blonde. “You’re so immature” Luhan rolled his eyes.

And after that, they went back together since it was getting really dark.


Ayo!
Hey everyone! ^^ So, Hana and Hajoon are finally back to good terms, yay! Just hope they won't fight again cause if they do, I have to start writing swears again haha.. I'm not that good at making these sappy scenes so it felt like a fail to me T.T How is the story so far? Sorry if it isn't really much, I'll try to improve it ^^
Oh and thank you to 
Kfans2804 for upvoting this story, that means a lot to me :)
Well, that's all from me, tell me what'cha think by commenting, subscribe and enjoy~ Thanks

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DaeLoNaekkeoya
Will not be updating due to exams~ I'm sorry (╥﹏╥)

Comments

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fifitheauthor
#1
Chapter 44: Bestfriends forever. SHIP! DaeHan couple is love <333 and my poor manly Luhan :(
fifitheauthor
#2
Chapter 43: Cutie, funny and pity Youngjae <3
smileyfacesforyou #3
Chapter 42: Please update soon!
fifitheauthor
#4
Chapter 42: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha XD Update soon. You're not revising :p
boreddddd_xoxo #5
This story sounds interesting! Look forward to reading it, author-nim ~
fifitheauthor
#6
Chapter 41: Yunji is a -_- Hwaiting!
fifitheauthor
#7
Chapter 40: Update soon juseyo ^^ And please stop fangirling about Baekhyun or else Daehyun will be piss off
fifitheauthor
#8
Chapter 39: Update soon ^^ Lol XD Dae and Luhan :p
fifitheauthor
#9
Chapter 38: Update soon <3
fifitheauthor
#10
Chapter 37: So touching~~!! ^^ And, you are such a bad girl, huh! Update soon *peace*