Hana's Mental Breakdown

I Love You But I Also Love You

The days passed so fast that Hana never noticed that that day was approaching until she woke up one day and didn’t feel like getting off her bed even though it was a school day, she just wanted to stay in bed the whole day for no apparent reason.

She reached her hand out and grabbed her phone, it was still early and that’s when she noticed the date, tomorrow is the day Hajoon leaves and also that day, she frowned and felt a huge wave of sadness as she threw her phone on the bed and closed her eyes.

“I’m not going to school today..” She states aloud to no one in particular as she shifted herself to a more comfortable position before she lets out a sigh, “Why can’t I turn back time?”

 

Daehyun walked towards Hana’s class and waited outside for her, he checked his watch once before glancing towards the door that opened as the bell had rang, the students came out of the class as the brunette patiently waited for Hana to come out but she it didn’t seem like she was coming out.

A girl walked out and greeted the brunette politely, “Oh, Daehyun oppa” She smiled and he nodded as a response, his eyes kept searching for that certain girl. “Hana-ssi, didn’t attend class” She stated and the brunette turned to her.

“W-what? She didn’t come?” Daehyun asked and the girl nodded lightly. “Err..thanks” He flashed a small smile before sprinting away towards a group of guys who were on their way to the cafeteria, laughing and chatting happily. “Ya, deer, where’s Hana?”

 “Hana? Isn’t she suppose to be out of her class right now?” Luhan asked as he tilted his head. The other EXO members left early to the cafeteria so that the blonde and the brunette could talk plus the members didn’t want to stay and hear them bicker.

“She didn’t attend her class” Daehyun replied and the blonde widen his eyes. “You don’t know where she, she didn’t attend class…so what could she be doing now?” He asked himself and then ran his fingers through his hair, “Aish, Kim Hana, you’re making me so crazy right now..”

“What if she didn’t come to school?” Luhan asked and the brunette shrugged. “But then again, why would she do that? She’s the type of person to enjoy studying..” He added and then began to think. “What if she maybe is sad again? And that she’s somewhere in school crying?”

And just with that suggestion, the two almost instantly rushed away, running around to locate the girl who might be crying again due to reasons they don’t know, they went to all the places she would usually go which is the library, school garden, roofs, music room and other places that are quiet.

But wherever they went, they found no sign of the girl and they began to panic and sort of screamed at some point making people look at them weirdly.

Luhan ran and ran and then accidentally bumped into someone causing the two to fall on the floor together, he let out a groan. “Deer..get the hell of me..” The blonde heard the person below him  and instantly moved away.

“Sorry…” Luhan said and helped the brunette up. “Did you find her?” He asked, worry and concern written on his face and it just got worse when Daehyun shook his head sadly. “Argh, where could she be?” He let out a frustrated sigh.

RING RING

The bell rang indicating that they had to proceed to their respective classes now, the two let out groans and reluctantly went to their class saying that they’ll meet up and search for her later. The blonde walked into his class and sat on his seat, resting his head on the table. “Urgh..” He groaned.

“Are you ok hyung?” The blonde turned his head to see his favorite dongsaeng, Sehun who was pouting cutely at him. “Did something happen?”

“I can’t find Hana and I’m getting worried..” Luhan frowned as he pushed himself up and sat up straight, turning to Sehun who nodded lightly.

“Why would you search for her?” Sehun asked, quite puzzled. “I mean, you do know she wasn’t in her class for registration right? So obviously, she didn’t come to school” He said and Luhan let out a sigh of relief.

“What? Really? Oh thank god, I thought she was escaping class or something..”

“Pft, Hana wouldn’t do that, she’s a good student” Sehun rolled his eyes at his hyung’s over reacting statement but then stopped and saw that his hyung stared at him sternly. “What?”

“Hana used to be a rebel” Luhan stated aloud and Sehun rested his head on his palm, looking at his hyung. “What? Don’t believe me?” He asked and the younger shook his head. “Fine, go ask her yourself” He pouted as he crossed his arms.

And then there was a short silence.

Luhan turned to his dongsaeng and stared at him for a few more moments, “....you’re not in my class Sehunnie” He said and the younger tilted his head.

“You just noticed hyung?”

Luhan nodded and then took out his phone and began to type something, the younger leaned close to see what his hyung is up to, he was sending a text to Hana.

Hana! I miss you~~ T.T Why didn’t you come to school~? I’ve been so worried you know D:

But there was no reply after that..

~*~

It was afterschool and Luhan had walked to the school gate to find Daehyun standing there, staring at his phone intently, the blonde leaned and tilted his head to see what was on the mobile screen, it was a text conversation between him and Hana.

“How come she didn’t reply to my text?” Luhan asked, a frown visible to his face which made Daehyun flinch as he took a step away, hiding his phone.

“Well have you ever tried persuading her to reply? Like I don’t know? Text until she gets pissed off cause the notification sound disturbed her sleeping?” Daehyun shrugged. “But anyways, she’s at home and that’s all I can find out, she isn’t telling me anything..”

“And that’s why we’re going to her house” Luhan said and the brunette nodded before the two walked away together to Hana’s house.

 

The two had reached her house and rang the doorbell but after a few moments, there was no respond and Luhan decided to call her but it said that her phone was unavailable so the two grew quite worried. “Should we just barge in?” Daehyun suggested.

But before Luhan could say anything, the brunette had already opened the door and let himself in, the blonde followed after him and the two scanned the area, it was awfully quiet and dark. “Woah..so dark” Luhan said as he clicked on the light switch letting the area lighten.

The place was still neat and tidy but it was really quiet as if there was no one here, the two walked upstairs to her room, Daehyun knocked on the door, “Hana? Are you in there?” He asked as he reached for the door knob and turned it but it seems like it was locked.

“What’re we suppose to do now?” Luhan asked and the brunette kept knocking the door, asking her to open it but there was no response. “You know she isn’t going to answer you” He said.

 “It was worth trying..” Daehyun shrugged and then leaned his head on the door, trying to hear anything that’s happening on the other side. “…I really don’t hear anything..it’s so quiet” He whispered, his face was pale, he felt worried, scared and started knocking again but even louder. “Hana, let us in!”

Luhan then pulled him away from the door, Daehyun looked at him who put a finger on his lips. “Do you hear that?” He asked and Daehyun started to calm down and the two leaned on the door to listen what’s on the other side.

“Leave…me…alone”

There was a faint voice coming from her room and it was obviously her, she sounded really weak, Luhan frowned as he felt his heart ache. “You know we can’t do that Hana..” Daehyun said calmly, a weak smile on his face, he was quite glad she was finally responding.

“Please…just leave…”

Daehyun pushed himself off the door and pushed Luhan aside, he took out a hairpin from his pocket and started to pick the lock as the blonde silently observed. “When did you learn how to do that?” Luhan asked and the brunette smiled innocently.

“That, you don’t have to know” Daehyun said and then there was click.  “Cause right now, the only thing that matters is Hana” He said before turning the knob and pushing the door open to see Hana there, standing in front of them, she looked really weak and her eyes were puffy, she had been crying. “Hey” Daehyun smiled warmly towards her.

Hana stared at the two of them emotionlessly, there was no response from her. Luhan scanned her room that was a bit messed up, there were lots of photos, clothes and things scattered around, he walked looked down and picked up a photo, it was a photo of her hugging a familiar woman, it was her mother. “Say, this day you keep talking about, would it happen to be tomorrow?” He asked as he looked up at her who tensed up as she fixed her gaze on the floor, taking a step back.

“I take that as a yes” Daehyun said. “But what is this day you keep talking about?” He asked and then noticed the photo Luhan was carrying and then he looked around for awhile before looking at her again. “Does it perhaps link to your mother?”

And when he asked that, tears had already strolled down her face still having her poker face and then, she finally broke down, she covered her face with her hands as she started to cry hysterically. “I told you to leave..” She said.

“We know what happened, Hana” Luhan started. “Park Seo Yeon, a patient suffering from cancer, it was a rare case..you visited her every day in the hospital but then the surgery wasn’t going to plan and in a result, her condition got worse and after a few days she..” He stopped and looked at her who was shaking. “…was gone”

And at that, she snapped. “Shut up!” She yelled as she got down on her knees, it was too much for her. “This wasn’t suppose to happen, she was suppose to get better but she..she left me! She told me everything was going to be alright, that we would be together again like a family and I believed those lies..I was so naïve and foolish…” She cried. “That woman who calls herself my mother was suppose to be here with me but she left and because she left, Hajoon left and life just went so wrong, she’s the cause of everything! If she hadn’t left then maybe everything would’ve stayed the same, how selfish of her to just leave like that” She scoffed.

“Stop talking like that” Daehyun said sternly. “Obviously she was trying to tell you it was alright so that you wouldn’t worry too much. And what’d you expect? Her to say that the surgery wouldn’t be successful and that it would just worsen her condition? Did you expect her to say that instead?” He asked and Luhan just stared at the brunette, he never knew he had this side.

“Yes! At least she wouldn’t create false hope, at least I would have known that she would left! Instead of telling me such lies ” Hana yelled. “So just shut up and leave! You wouldn’t understand! You would never know how it feels to just get abandoned like that!” She added.” So just stop talking about her..” She whispered as she covered her ears and cried harder.

“I do understand!” Daehyun yelled, he was feeling frustrated and couldn’t bear to hear her words any longer. He walked towards her and knelt down to her, taking her hands off her face and then slightly shook her so that she would face him. “I understand, I know how it feels like to be lonely, to feel betrayed, to feel that you just want to give everything up, to feel like everyone is just leaving you, to feel so lost that you forget why you’re even living in the first place, I get it, I understand!” He said sternly.

She stared at him, trying to process everything that he had spoken. Luhan on the other hand was finding it hard to understand the brunette’s statement. “What’re you trying to say?” Hana asked quietly, it was rare to see him and it honestly scared her.

“That night, on my birthday, you asked me who I was talking to right? It was my parents and yes, I was telling the truth, they’re both in Busan, who knows what they’re doing 10 feet below the ground” Daehyun replied and Luhan widened his eyes, Hana was still trying to process everything.

 “…I’m sorry” Luhan said as he looked at the brunette sympathetically in which Hana still couldn’t understand and the brunette noticed this, she was still slow and he let out a short chuckle before looking straight into her dark brown eyes.

 

“They’re dead, Hana, my parents are dead” He broke into a bitter smile.


._.

Ayo! This is actually going to be the sad part of the story so they'll be sad chapters coming but I do apologize in advance cause I kind of am y when it comes to those sad-like chapters...But anyways, have you guys heard of f(x) Red Light? I'm so inlove with that song!!  And I've watched the recent B.A.P Attack! And I literally laughed so hard but felt a bit sorry for Daehyun, all the members stole his food xD And their random songs omg I can't hahaha "Chiki! Chiki! Hip Hop Chicken! Hoo" "SWAG Hip Hop Chicken" lmao xD I love you Dae! haha...Oh, my holidays are coming soon so yay! :D Yea, that's all for me now :)

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DaeLoNaekkeoya
Will not be updating due to exams~ I'm sorry (╥﹏╥)

Comments

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fifitheauthor
#1
Chapter 44: Bestfriends forever. SHIP! DaeHan couple is love <333 and my poor manly Luhan :(
fifitheauthor
#2
Chapter 43: Cutie, funny and pity Youngjae <3
smileyfacesforyou #3
Chapter 42: Please update soon!
fifitheauthor
#4
Chapter 42: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha XD Update soon. You're not revising :p
boreddddd_xoxo #5
This story sounds interesting! Look forward to reading it, author-nim ~
fifitheauthor
#6
Chapter 41: Yunji is a -_- Hwaiting!
fifitheauthor
#7
Chapter 40: Update soon juseyo ^^ And please stop fangirling about Baekhyun or else Daehyun will be piss off
fifitheauthor
#8
Chapter 39: Update soon ^^ Lol XD Dae and Luhan :p
fifitheauthor
#9
Chapter 38: Update soon <3
fifitheauthor
#10
Chapter 37: So touching~~!! ^^ And, you are such a bad girl, huh! Update soon *peace*