The next day, Hana fluttered her eyes open and lazily sat up as she let out a yawn, hugging her legs as she felt a tear run down her cheek, “Today’s the day, the day mom died” She said to no one in particular. “And now..another person is leaving me” She whispered quietly.

Daehyun and Luhan had walked towards Hana’s class as they chatted happily, Youngjae and Baekhyun walked out to see them. “Hana’s not here..” Youngjae said and the two nodded.

“I was kind of predicting that..” Luhan said as he let out a sigh. “But if she does this especially on this day, I feel this bad feeling like something really is going to happen” He frowned and Youngjae and Baekhyun looked at him, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.

“What’s wrong with today Luhan hyung?” Baekhyun asked.

“Today is Hana’s mother’s death anniversary” Daehyun replied before Luhan could even utter a word, they all looked at him who had been so quiet all this time. “You know yesterday, she thanked us that we were by her side but she told us we didn’t need to do that anymore..I think she’s really planning on doing it” He said.

Luhan widen his eyes, “No, Hana wouldn’t do that right…?” He asked, a bit worried. “Do you think we could skip school?” He asked the brunette.

Daehyun just stared at him, “I honestly do not know what to do..” And after a few moments, he looked up and smiled, “But we better go eat because I’m starving!” He exclaimed.

“Aish, always thinking about food” Youngjae sighed.

~*~

Ryouta walked into his room and looked through his window to see Hana there in her room, staring at something in her hands, he tilted his head to get a better look at it but couldn’t. He opened his window and called out to her who snapped from her deep thinking.

She gave a small wave before walking towards the window, “Hey Hana, what’re you doing?” He asked.

“Nothing, just been thinking about the world and life..” Hana replied calmly and he gestured her to go on. “Well, today is mom’s death anniversary and each year, I would just think about this and that but I never decided yet”

“Decide what?” Ryouta asked.

“I think about my life, was there purpose of living? My life is a wreck and today, after all that thinking and the fact that Hajoon is leaving, I’ve finally decided” Hana nodded in determination. “I’m going to leave too”

“Leave? Where are you going to go?” Ryouta asked, totally taken aback on her statement. “And more importantly, why are you leaving?” He asked and she just flashed a small smile.

Hana let out a sigh, “I’m leaving because I have no purpose here anymore, dad left, mom left, Hajoon left, everyone’s leaving me Ryouta..” She looked down. “So I’ve decided that maybe today is the day when I leave”

“Hana, not this conversation again” Ryouta sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yes, they left you but that doesn’t mean everyone is leaving you, I mean, I’m still here, Luhan, Daehyun and their friends are still here for you” He said.

“For now” Hana shrugged. “We all know that time changes people, they might have said that they’ll be with me forever but someday, they’ll get sick of me and leave and that hurts you know” She said. “I don’t want to get hurt anymore” She added.

Ryouta sighed, “Stop thinking that way Hana…”

She glanced at the clock on the wall before looking at Ryouta with a faint smile, “It’s almost time for Hajoon’s flight to who knows where”. She lets out a sigh before glancing at the blue-haired who frowned at her cause she still hasn’t answered his questions. “I’m sorry but I just don’t see any hope, I’m leaving”

“To where exactly? Hana, stop telling me vague answers!” Ryouta raised his voice, frustration evident in his tone as he ran his fingers though his hair. She chuckled and he has never felt so frustrated in his life, “Hana, do you think I’m playing with you? You’re making me worry here!”

Hana tilted her head, “Why worry? Once I’m gone, you don’t have to deal with a burden like me, you don’t have to care about me, you don’t have to come and see if I’m okay because I’ll disappear and you can go back to your old life again without me”

Ryouta twitched his eye, he couldn’t believe what she was saying, “You’re really stubborn” He muttered under his breath. “Just tell me where the hell you’re going and what for?” He asked sternly, trying not to lose his calm.

She chuckled, “What? Are my responses really that vague? I thought I had made it quite straight-forward, weren’t you paying attention?” She asked and he had this serious stare at her making her let out a sigh as she gave a look at him.  “I see no meaning in life, I’m leaving this messed up world”

She smiled crookedly, “I’m going to kill myself”

~*~

Luhan was bored and his mind was filled with thoughts about Hana, wishing she was okay but it wasn’t helping because he had this bad feeling ever since he woke up, he kept glancing at the clock and fidgeting in his seat, eager to get out of class, out of school to go and see her.

“Luhan hyung, are you okay?” Sehun asked as he looked at his hyung worriedly.

Luhan turned to him as he put his hands on the younger’s shoulders, “I can’t stay here, I’m getting this bad feeling and I think something has happened to Hana” He said quickly and the younger took some time to process what he had said.

“Why? What’s wrong with Hana?” Sehun asked.

Luhan frowned, “Today is her mother’s death anniversary and I have this horrible feeling that something is happening to her..” He replied.

“The last time you had a bad feeling, Baekhyun hyung ended up almost killing Chanyeol hyung cause he hid all his eyeliners” Sehun said, smiling because he had remembered Baekhyun kicking Chanyeol as he yelled ‘Repent from your sins!’ or something along those lines.. “We should go out of here then!” He suggested, turning to the blonde.

Luhan nodded before he rose up from his seat and then turned to the younger, “You should stay in school, I’ll call you later kay, Sehunnie?” He said and the younger obediently nodded. Luhan just casually walked out of his class without being spotted by the teacher.

The blonde walked through the hallways, looking around cautiously incase the discipline teacher came. “And where do you think you’re going without me?” He flinched and slowly turned around to see a brunette who was walking towards him.

“Oh, it’s just you” Luhan sighed in relief. “Uh yea, I kind of forgot about you” He shrugged and the brunette frowned as he walked ahead of him.

The two made their escape without getting caught and went straight to Hana’s house where they saw Ryouta, worry and panic written all over his face. “Ryouta?” Daehyun called out to him who flinched and instantly turned around to see them.

“Oh my god, I’m so glad the both of you are here!” Ryouta said in relief but still, he was in his panic state which caused the two to feel worried. “Hana, she- wait, what time is it?” He asked.

Luhan quickly checked his watch, “It’s going to be 12 soon” He replied carefully and the two heard Ryouta curse under his breath. “Why? What’s wrong? Did Hana do something?!” He asked and the blue-haired nodded sadly.

“She’s..I thought she was bluffing but she’s really doing it..” Ryouta covered his face. “She said people were leaving her so she should leave too” He added quietly and Daehyun instantly widened his eyes. “She-“

“-She’s going to kill herself” Daehyun finished his sentence and Ryouta nodded. “What the hell are we even doing, we should go save her!” He yelled as her ran towards the door but it wouldn’t budge, he bashed his body but still, the door wouldn’t open. “She locked it, …” He cursed.

Ryouta let out a long sigh, “You guys go try and find a way to get in, I’ll go see how she’s doing” He said sternly and the two nodded before looking around. He walked back to his room and sighed in relief when he saw that she was still there, looking up at the clock.

He took out his phone and decided to call someone, he picked up.

“YA, KIM HAJOON! GET YOUR OUT OF THAT GODDAMN PLANE AND COME HERE, YOUR SISTER IS GOING TO FREAKING KILL HERSELF, IDIOT!!”

“And so?”

And so? Ryouta felt frustrated by the second, “This is serious, Hajoon, stop being an , stop acting like you don’t care, this time, she isn’t bluffing, she’s really going to kill herself…” He ran his fingers through his hair, “If you’re not here then I’m afraid you’re going to have to attend a funeral”

“…….” The other line went dead silent and Ryouta swore if Hajoon was here right now, he would’ve killed him. “…I’ll see what I can do”

And then he hanged up, Ryouta twitched his eye and cursed, “Hajoon, you ing bastard”

After pointless attempt on getting in her house, Luhan finally realized something and facepalmed himself, he glared at the brunette, “Ya, busan boy!” He yelled as he grab hold of Daehyun’s shoulders. “You know how to pick a ing lock!!” He screamed in frustration and Daehyun stood there.

Daehyun cursed under his breath, “Remind me to slap myself in the face later” He muttered, Luhan nodded before the brunette picked the lock, once there was a click, the two immediately barged in and ran straight to her room that was also locked, he unlocked it and pushed the door open.

But the thing is, the door wouldn’t budge, something seems to have blocked it from the inside. “Hana! Let us in!” Luhan said as he knocked on the door.

Hana turned her gaze from the clock to the door which she had blocked with her wardrobe, she turned her head to the window where Ryouta was in his room staring at his phone emotionlessly. After that, she looked up at the clock again, It’s time. “Daehyun, Luhan, leave”

“No, we both can’t do that!” She heard Daehyun shout, she felt slightly annoyed but at the same time, she felt weird but she merely brushed it off. Stubborn kid

“Hana, why are you even doing this?” She heard Luhan asked.

“Because..” She started as she looked down. “Because everyone is leaving me and soon, you two will just get sick of me and leave and I don’t want to get hurt anymore, I’m sick and tired of feeling abandoned” She said as she got off her bed and dragged a chair to a specific spot.

“That’s not true!”

Hana scoffed, “Please just shut up” And then there was silence, “I’m tired of listening to lies and what’s worst is that I actually believe in them” She muttered. “Why am I so naïve?”

“Stop talking like that, Hana” Luhan said, he looked like he was on the verge of crying. “Me, busan boy, EXO, B.A.P and everyone else, we care for you, we really do so stop thinking that way, we won’t leave you because you’re always fun to be with, you have a strange personality that never fails to amuse us so please, don’t think that way and just..let us in”

Hana stopped and just stared at the blocked door, she felt all fuzzy and her mind became all weird-like. “Why do you care?” She asked after a few moments of silence. “Why do you constantly tell me that you guys are always going to be by my side?”

Luhan leaned on the door and smiled, “Because…I don’t want to lose you, I like you, Kim Hana and I can’t imagine life without you”

Daehyun stared at the blonde, was he confessing? He stared at Luhan who was practically pouring his heart out as he tries to beg her not to die and Daehyun felt stupid, he was frozen because he didn’t know what to do, the person he liked was trying to kill herself and he’s just standing there, he felt useless.

The black-haired girl froze upon hearing such words, she felt a sudden warmness in her and she felt reluctant to pursue her intention of killing herself. After awhile, she pushed that thought out of her head and got on the chair, “Sorry but I just can’t go through this anymore…”

The door got banged loudly, “Hana, stop, we’re not telling you lies, we can go through all of this together only if you learn to tell us what’s going on!” Daehyun said as he still kept trying to push the door open. “You can’t just leave us like this, I mean, don’t you care about how we feel? What are we to you anyway? Are we not friends?”

And again, Hana froze as she let his words sink in, a horrible feeling had appeared in her. What is this feeling? Is this guilt? She stared blankly at the noose she was holding, her mind was all fuzzy and she felt weird, something was holding her back and she didn’t know what. I mean, this is what she had always wanted right…?

She had suffered too much in her life, her childhood was ruined, she got bullied, her mother died, her father probably doesn’t even remember her, her brother hates her to death, she feels suffocated with everyone around giving her looks saying she was different, she didn’t belong here, the whole world was going against her, she knew this was right but why did it feel so wrong?

She reluctantly wore the noose around her neck and just stood there, glancing at the clock, it was time to leave this forsaken world, smiled weakly before kicking the chair, “Goodbye”

~*~

“Seriously, you’re leaving today?”

Hajoon nodded, “Yea, I need to get out of this place so that I can clear my head” He let out a sigh, “That little brat is making my mood so messed up these days, I thought that if I came back, she would be ok and just yea..but she’s giving me the cold shoulder telling me to leave and whatnot..”

Jiyong knew that he was talking about Hana, he felt irritated and glared at him, “Of course she would do that you idiot, you ing left her months and what? You expect her to go run to you with open arms, tears of happiness running down her face saying ‘Hajoon oppa welcome back!’ and then cue the sappy song in the background, everything just goes slow motion because it’s so ing touching!”

Hajoon stared at his best friend in bewilderment, “I think you’re watching too much dramas recently” He said before letting out a sigh, Jiyong was right and he instantly felt guilt. “I guess you’re right but..it’s just that..”

“Just what?! Ya, Kim Hajoon, you’re even leaving her right now! In order to fix your relationship, you gotta go to her and have a talk, I know she’s stubborn but you at least have to try instead of running away!” Jiyong started. “Seriously, stop being such an and just-“

Their conversation was interrupted by Hajoon’s phone, he picked it up instantly since he really did not feel like listening to the other half of Jiyong’s nagging.

“YA, KIM HAJOON! GET YOUR OUT OF THAT GODDAMN PLANE AND COME HERE, YOUR SISTER IS GOING TO FREAKING KILL HERSELF, IDIOT!!” It was Ryouta and he screamed so loud that it seemed like it was on loud-speaker and of course, Jiyong heard this. Great, Ryouta is here to nag too…

Hajoon widened his eyes, he was freaking worried and wanted to ask many questions but being the stubborn he was, Hajoon merely replied with a simple, “And so?” He could see that Jiyong was glaring at him.

“This is serious, Hajoon, stop being an , stop acting like you don’t care, this time, she isn’t bluffing, she’s really going to kill herself…” Hajoon started to look anxious, he bit his bottom lip and gulped. “If you’re not here then I’m afraid you’re going to have to attend a funeral”

And when he said that, he just stopped and just stared on the ground, he just couldn’t utter another word, he looked up to see Jiyong gesturing what the hell is going on? “…I’ll see what I can do” He said after a long silence, he hanged up the phone.

“Hana is going to kill herself?” Jiyong asked sternly and Hajoon just stared at him.

“You know what happened last time, she was just bluffing, she isn’t really going to do it…” Hajoon replied but Jiyong wasn’t a bit convinced. “But..last time Ryouta wasn’t this exaggerating..” He mumbled and then there was a long silence as Jiyong stared blankly at him.

“You idiot, what the are you even waiting for?! Go save her because I swear, Kim Hajoon if she dies than I will never ever forgive you!!” Jiyong yelled. “And it will be all your fault” He added and Hajoon not being able to live with such guilt, he instantly ran off.

Hajoon arrived at his house, panting and noticed that the door was wide open and after catching his breath, he rushed inside going up the stairs and then stopped when he had noticed two boys there, the brunette was trying his best to push the door open but failed miserably while the blonde was trying to ask his little sister not to commit suicide.

He felt useless, I mean, that should’ve been him there right? But looks like she has her friends to deal with this, he doesn’t think he is needed anymore so he turns around but stops. “Hana, why are you even doing this?” He heard one of her friends ask, he stood there because he too wanted to know why.

“Because everyone is leaving me and soon, you two will just get sick of me and leave and I don’t want to get hurt anymore, I’m sick and tired of feeling abandoned” She replied and Hajoon felt even more guiltier and he shouldn’t run away anymore, he should go there and save her, mom would’ve wanted that.

He turned around but still, he stayed on his spot and continued to listen, listen to what his sister has been keeping inside all this time. And then, there was silence and he was beginning to wonder what the hell is happening, he saw the brunette look into the keyhole and gasp.

“, she’s using the noose!” He cursed as he tried to push the door once again, the blonde helping him and that’s when Hajoon finally reacted, he ran towards them who stopped when they noticed him. “..What the hell are you doing here?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to save the day”

Hajoon pushed the two aside and kicked the door wide open, the two boys looked at him in awe but they didn’t waste time to rush in and save her. The noose was no longer around her nape, the room was filled with nothing but silence, her body lay down motionlessly on the cold floor, eyes shut tightly.

So, was this really goodbye…?

Ayo!
So...this has got to be the chapter with the most swears haha.. *laughs awkwardly* Sorry if any of you were uncomfortable with it *bows* But anyways, how is the story so far? Is everything going too fast?  School is coming soon and at some point, I felt as if I had just wasted my holdiay doing nothing but staying in my room, spazzing because of all these comebacks!! But then again, it was totally worth it xD

Anws, please leave a comment, subscribe, upvote if you want and enjoy~ Thank you
And Selamt Hari Raya~!! ^^