[a/n: I unpublished edited then republished this chapter. It's okay now]

The ambiance is dark and heavy in that same room that they are in for quite long now, just sitting beside each other and staring at random inanimate object. Everybody is quiet, no one wants to talk as their minds are all covered with a big cloud of worry and fear that they couldn't think clear.

Onew slowly brought his head up from looking at the floor to stare at the people around him. Looking at them is like having a view of a life size still image. His eyes then went to the window where he saw the outside, it's already already dark and he have realized that they all spent the whole day doing nothing but just nervously waiting for updates and praying hard.

His eyes landed back to to Yerin and he wondered when did she stopped crying, maybe not long ago as he can still see wet traces on her cheeks and her damp eyes, she looks pale and weak. Finally, someone stood up to break the suffocating silence. Mr. Kim stood in the middle and faced them all.

"It's already late and we're all tired, I think we should rest for now. The airlines said they will give updates so we're just gonna wait for it.", he announced, as the family head.

All agreed by nodding their heads silently, except for Yerin who remained motionless, staring at the carpet. They noticed it and all looked at Yerin worriedly.

"You should rest now, you need it.", Mrs. Kim gently Yerin's hair repeatedly.

Yerin's swollen, damp eyes looked at her mother-in-law, and then to everyone in that living room, all their eyes are on her too. They all look tired as well. She's thankful that they are all there as she doesn't know how she can survive the situation alone, she wanted to at least give a little smile to them as a sign of gratefulness but her lips are disobeying her. All she can project is a weak straight face.

"It's okay. Everybody can go home now.", she told them, she was surprised that her voice isn't shaking anymore.

Mrs. Kim shook her head. "Dear, it is you that needs rest the most. You can go to your room now. We'll take care of everything here."

"I can stay here for tonight so that I can look after you and Yuhan.", Sodam suggested and the others agreed on that, again, except for Yerin.

She shook her head slowly. "No, I can manage this. You have your own things to do and you also need rest. Thank you."

"Yerin-ah...", Key called out worriedly.

On that situation, they all heard that front door opened, followed by small giggles and steps going in.

"Ummaaaaa~", Yuhan appeared in the living room, behind him are his Uncle Minho and Uncle Taemin. He then ran to Yerin and jumped on her for a hug.

Yerin hugged his son back, very tight, tighter than it should be, as if she's getting strength and energy from Yuhan that she seriously needs right now. She need to be strong for him.

The hug lasted longer than it should be until Yuhan wriggled out of it to greet the others that are present there. And the he started narrating his activities the whole day outside.

As Yerin listens to Yuhan's story, she saw Minho and Taemin went to a distance from them with Key and Onew, and she exactly knew what they are talking about after she saw the newly arrived guys sighed deep and shook their heads.

"...we ate ice cream before we went home.", that last part was the only thing that Yerin caught from Yuhan's story. She smiled very little and nodded to him but as Yuhan stares at his mother's face, his expression changes until he ended up furrowing his brows, scanning Yerin's face.

"Why are you sad?", he asked, standing in front of her as she sat on the couch.

Yerin bit her lips, looking straight to Yuhan's eyes. She wanted to answer and deny that but she just can't, her emotions are too strong to be held, especially in front of Yuhan. A tear that she's trying hard to hold escaped her eyes when she held Yuhan's little hands.

"Yerin-ah...", the people around her called out softly and with great sympathy. They are all looking at her, worried.

Yuhan looked around and then back at his mother. "Umma why are you crying?"

Yerin immediately held her sobs and the tears coming out from her eyes. She can't help it but because she doesn't want to scare or worry Yuhan, she breathed really deep, hoping it could calm her system, and then she wiped her face with her own hands.

"Nothing baby. Umma is just tired.", she answered. Yuhan was at first suspicious of her answer but later on, he accepted it by nodding.

"Yerin I really think I should stay for tonight.', Sodam repeated her suggestion earlier. Yerin shook her head then stood up.

"No Unnie, I should go home too and rest. I can handle this.... And I think I need some time alone.", she flashed a small smile then faced everyone. "Everyone can go home now."

The people looked at each other, hesitant to obey what Yerin said but Jonghyun's mom took the lead. She stood up and signaled the others to do as well. "She needs time.", Mrs. Kim whispered to them. By that, they already understood and stood up, ready to leave.

"Minho oppa, Taemin...", she called the two they were at the front door. "Thank you for taking Yuhan out for a while.", she said that Yuhan can't hear.

Minho smiled at her. "No problem, it's nothing. That's all we can do."

"Noona, don't lose hope. Everything will be fine.", Taemin added, with sincere sympathy.

"I hope so, Taem. Thank you."

When everybody left, the quietness of the house have been different, and it just give Yerin a heavier feeling. It seemed so empty and lonely.

"Why is appa not home yet? He said he'll come today.", Yuhan asked when they're heading upstairs.

Yerin almost stopped on her tracks after hearing the question but she forced herself to carry on walking, she just held on his hands tighter as they walk. "I don't know either, baby but let's just wait."

'We'll be waiting Jjong...'

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It's hours past midnight, and maybe, at any moment, the sun might start to rise. But then, Yerin haven't acquired even a minute of sleep yet. How can she if her mind is fully working and her eyes are busy letting out tears? It's been hours that she's crying but the unwanted fluids on her eyes just won't dry out.

She's lying sideward on the bed, beside Yuhan who is deeply sleeping, and she has her phone on her hands. She kept browsing at the files on that phone, hoping that it could ease the distress she's feeling. There are photos of her, Yuhan, and of course the one whom she wanted to see, Jonghyun. They're so happy on those, Jonghyun looking good at every photo he is in, especially his selcas. Those tons of selcas...

There are also videos... videos by different cameraman, she, Yuhan and Jonghyun. She played it one by one and she found her one favorite video; the one that she took one morning while she's waking Jonghyun up when they're just newlyweds. Those moments...

Though it just seems like it's tearing her heart apart, she continued browsing her phone until she arrived in the messages. She read her convo thread with him and more tears sprung out from her eyes when she saw Jonghyun last message sent to her.

-See you tomorrow <3

-I miss you... :'[

Those are the last message she received from him and the worst part is she's not even able to reply on those messages. If she just knew something like this would happen, she could have write him a novel. She also wasn't able to answer the last attempt of him to call her. That one missed call... she could have answered it in just two rings but she was busy.

Her sobs got louder so she had to cover with her hands so that she could hold back any noise that would come out from her.

There is a big regret inside her that she was not able to do a lot of things before he left for his trip, which was because she is too narrow minded, she doubted him and ended up fighting. He was the one trying so hard to fix it, but her mind is clouded with doubt, insecurity and pain.

'I promise you I'd kiss you right at the moment you arrive, but where are you? I'm supposed to give you a very tight hug as I haven't hugged you properly when you left but now, you're not here yet.'

A sob escaped from her covered mouth. Hearing her own sobs brings more pain to her. The sound she is producing became louder than it should be, without her knowing, and it caused Yuhan to move and slowly open his eyes. He blinked and stared at her mother confusedly. It's already late for Yerin to hide her tears from Yuhan.

"Umma why are you crying?", he asked in a very sleepy voice but he turned to face Yerin.

"This is nothing baby, please go back to sleep.", she wiped her tears and try to hug Yuhan to put him to sleep again but he wriggled out of her hold and held her cheeks with his tiny, gentle hands.

"No. Umma is crying, Yuhannie can't sleep.", he said firmly, sleepiness in his voice is almost gone. He helped her wipe her tears away with his own hands but Yerin cannot prevent it anymore, she cried more.

"Umma why? Are you sad because appa is not here yet?", he asked worriedly.

Yerin isn't able to answer, she just looked at Yuhan while sobbing. She wished she can stop crying and appear strong in front of her son but she's completely vulnerable at the moment.

Yuhan didn't wait for his mom's answer anymore, he suddenly moved and crawled over Yerin's body then hugged her tight on the neck.

"Please do not cry. Yuhannie promise to appa before he left.", he hugged her tighter, his head laying on her chest. He paused as he cannot speak continuously long for his age. After a little while he continued, "Appa said umma is sad because of him before he left so Yuhannie will make you happy because it's promise. "

Yerin closed her eyes tight as tears stream down more freely from her eyes. Jonghyun was mad when he left but still, he was thinking of her. He doesn't want her sad and still cares for her after all she have said because of that stupid misunderstanding.

"Please don't cry... Yuhannie don't know what to do.", Yuhan begged.

Yerin tightly hugged back Yuhan's body which is over her as she's drowning with her own tears. The sobs that she was holding back got louder as it can escape freely from now. It is very painful for her, she doesn't know how her heart can still survive, feeling that kind of severe pain.

"Baby, you don't have to do anything. Umma is fine, don't worry.", she struggled saying that sentence in between her sobs. Her hands then move to hold either side of Yuhans small head and she make him face her.

"Umma loves you very much....", she said and Yuhan nodded to that. She paused for a while, then continued. "And please always remember that appa loves you very much too, okay? Whatever happens, baby, don't forget that."

Yuhan, again, nodded to that though he doesn't know the reason Yerin is saying that, he's just responding to what Yerin is telling him.

Yuhan's hugged to Yerin lasted long, and it somehow comforted her. Yuhan didn't get off her until he had fallen asleep while hugging her. Yerin carefully detached him from her and slowly laid him back down to his side of the bed. She planted a kiss on her forehead and on her cheeks before she, too, laid back down.

That moment, she can already feel exhaustion, physically and emotionally. Her eyelids felt heavy, because she's already feeling sleepy but also because it's swollen from crying for too long. She breathed really deep and slowly let her eyes close, letting herself drift to sleep, to where the pain can temporarily go.

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Everything is dark, she cannot see anything... It's also quiet and she knows no one is there. She's scared because she's alone, she wanted to run but she cannot move, she wanted to talk but it seems like she lost her voice. All she can do is cry.

She kept crying, she didn't know for how long it is... until finally she saw a light. It was like a ray, coming out from somewhere she doesn't know. Then she heard a voice... 

"Yerin-ah~"

The voice is calling her name, repeatedly and along with that, the ray slowly became something like a spotlight, shining in front of her, and then she saw an existence. Someone she had been wanting to see.

'Jonghyun...', she called out. He's just right in front of her, she wanted to reach but she cannot move.

But thankfully, he, himself, stepped closer to her and reached for her face. His hands touched her cheek that is wet because of her tears. Now that he is close to her, she can see him clearly, every detail of him, every part of him.

"Yerin-ah...", she heard him call out.

His name also escaped from once more and then she saw his face slowly nearing hers. She anticipated, her heart is fluttering, she missed him...

His lips first landed on her forehead, planting a gentle loving kiss, and then on her cheeks and it made her heart flutter once more. She looked into his eyes, those eyes that she missed staring at.... Then his face leveled with hers, she stared at his lips that is inching slowly towards her. She waited and waited, until she felt his soft lips finally onto hers. Happiness exploded inside her as she feels his kiss.

When he pulled away from her, she wanted to pull him back closer but again, she cannot move. She saw how Jonghyun started to step away from her, along with the light that started to fade slowly. She tried calling him out but she lost her voice again. Her tears sprung out as she's starting to feel scared again... she's losing him again...

"Jonghyun!!", she yelled as she sat up in an instant.

She looked around, no one is there but it's already bright. Then she realized it's just a dream. She closed her eyes, buried her face in her palm and let her back fall back to the bed. She let her mind be clearer before she removed her hands from her face and she ended up staring at the ceiling.

She dreamt of Jonghyun... she thought it was real because it seems like it. He view is clear in her dreams... 'even the kiss', she thought and her finger involuntarily went to her lips to trace it, remembering the scene from her dream and it once again brought a fluttering feeling to her. But then at the end, she sighed. No matter how real it felt, a dream is still a dream. Jonghyun is still not there and no one knows where he is.

She sighed deep again and then looked beside her, expecting to see her sleeping son there but no one is beside her. She called out his name, thinking that she might be inside the bathroom but after a few calls, she received no response. She reached for her phone and looked at it, the time says it's still early. Yuhan usually don't get up that early so she decided to get up and looked for him.

She went out of the room, and went to check on his room first but he's not there. She also checked the playroom but no one is there.

"Yuhan?", she headed to the stairs calling his name. No response. She is looking around as she walks down the stairs and when she got to the first floor, she decided to check on the living room first, Yuhan might have decided to play there.

As she's nearing the living room, she can hear Yuhan laughing and giggling. She felt relieved that he's there.... But on the second thought.... 'Yuhan laughing, all by himself?'

Her eyebrows furrowed and she phased faster going to the living room. From a distance, she can already see Yuhan there, and yes he's laughing... When she finally got to the living room entrance and is able to fully view the inside, she froze. Totally froze.

Yuhan is there, and he's not alone.