The living room had become very quiet despite the fact that there are actually four people sitting there: Jonghyun sitting motionless, Taemin beside him and the woman with her little boy. Heavy tension can really be felt as if there was a bomb that in one little move, the whole house will explode.

Taemin doesn’t want to interfere because he knows he wasn’t on the right position but he just can’t take the killing silence and he knows it won’t end if they’ll just sit there quietly, so he lightly tapped Jonghyun’s shoulder.

“Hyung…”, he whispered in the most careful way he can speak.

Jonghyun’s eyes just slowly shifted to Taemin, not saying any word. Then his head turned to the woman sitting on the couch across him, silent and bowing her head, with the boy on her lap. He just stared at her like studying and scanning every detail of her. Then suddenly, he remembered how his whole human being was shaken just a few moments ago…

**FLASHBACK**

Both Jonghyun and Taemin gasped on the words she said in front of them. Jonghyun felt like his brain malfunctioned for a while and he believed that his mind just didn’t process those words properly.

He blinked and stepped a bit closer to the woman. “Uhm excuse me, what was it again? Sorry, I misheard it and thought that you said ‘this boy is mine’.”

The woman looked straight at him. Her expression didn’t change and remained serious, though there was a hint of fear. “S-sorry but you didn’t mishear it. H-he… this b-boy is your son.”

That moment, Jonghyun wished that his brain just really malfunctioned and everything he was wasn’t really it. But that is not what the situation is telling him.

“WHAT?!”, he blurted out with unexplainable face. “What are you saying? I don’t even know you.”

The woman chuckled bitterly. “Of course. What do I expect? You won’t remember me.”

Jonghyun isn’t happy on her response. He wasn’t happy about everything happening right now. Who would be? In front of him is a woman, completely stranger for him, carrying a child that she is claiming to be his son.

Before he can completely lose his temper because he is seriously starting to get pissed, he let out a harsh sigh. “You listen... Let’s stop this okay? Whatever you were trying to do, stop because I don’t have time for this. I don’t know you, or that boy you were holding so you may now leave.”, he tried to say calmly.

He turned to face Taemin who was stoned and completely confused on everything happening in front of him. He held his arm and dragged Taemin away with him but before they completely step farther, they were stopped by the woman’s voice.

“Kim Jonghyun, I understand that you don’t remember me anymore ‘cause you never really cared for those girls you met. But can you please try acknowledging my presence this time?”, the woman said loud that made Jonghyun and Taemin look back at her.

Jonghyun’s brows furrowed. “How do you know my name?”

“Because, I’m telling you, we know each other. I’m Son Hyejin!”, she put down the boy she was carrying and walked closer to him.

He paused for a while and tried hard to dig the name she said from his brain but until his head already ached and all squeezed out, he found nothing.

His hands unconsciously went to her arms, his grip tightening. “I said stop now! I don’t know you and now I don’t even care how you knew my name. Just stop making a show!”, he yelled in front of her as he cannot handle the anger building inside him. Taemin held his arm to at least control him.

The woman, Son Hyejin, looked up at him with teary eyes. She tried to open and try to speak but only sobs came out so she has to pause for a while to gather her words. The little kid ran to her and hugged her knees as he looked up at her, worried and confused.

“Hyung, I think we should calm down first. It’s better if we’d talk about his inside.”, Taemin interrupted, worried that they might catch too much attention because their scene had become very dramatic…

**End of Flashback**

And that’s how they ended up inside Jonghyun’s house even though it’s against his will. But he realized that this is the best thing to do to clear things up since Hyejin seemed to be very consistent on her statement.

He closed his eyes for a while as he sighs, then looked at Hyejin again.

“What was your name again?”, he asked in a cold tone but a bit calmer now.

The woman lifted his head and looked at him with those hurting eyes. “Son Hyejin.”, he mumbled but still audible for him.

“And the boy?”, he asked again.

“Son Minki. He took after my surname.”

“Of course! You can’t just—“, he was cut off my Taemin’s hold on his arm. He glared at the woman and just sighed.

Taemin spoke instead. “S-so…”, he said, not knowing exactly how to start. “First… Why si Minki crying earlier, alone?”

“I told him to wait for me there while I buy his food and when I came back, he’s already with you and crying.”, she explained.

“But why in front of my house?”, Jonghyun asked, it is visible in  his face that he is having a hard time conversing.

Hyejin lowered his head again. “W-we… we were actually waiting for you. I know we should have not come here out of the blue but I am trying to call you few days ago and you weren’t answering. When I came to your office, they said you were away…”

“You were the one who came at my office?”, He automatically stood up as he yells. “Are you crazy?! Are you planning to make a show there and ruin everything?”

Hyejin looked up at him and the tears that she was holding all flowed out from her eyes. “I’m not trying to make a show nor bother your life. I just want to let you know that you have someone… from me…”, she trailed off.

He let out a sigh and threw his head up and looked at the ceiling. He just can’t handle this anymore. He’s too confused and he’s almost wanting for the ground to crack big and eat him up. His whole soul is denying the fact that she is telling him and he seriously wants to squeeze life out of her right now. But on a part of his mind, he is afraid. Afraid that there’s a chance that she is telling the truth and for that, he hates himself for being such a big jerk before, not caring what is happening between him and those girls that are badly wanting to be with him.

He felt Taemin’s hand guiding him to sit back to the couch and he complied. There was again a long silence before he decided to know every detail from her story. Maybe it’s much better that way.

“So… let’s say we really know each other. Then how?”, he asked.

Hyejin wiped the stains of tears on her cheeks first before answering. “You’re cousins, Donghae and Amber—“

“Wait.”, he cut her off when something came to his mind upon her mention of his cousin’s name. “So, you were the Hyejin that they introduced to me before?”

She nodded. “Finally…”, she smiled bitterly. “We used to hangout a lot before with your cousins, remember?”

Jonghyun started digging more in his memories and he’s slowly remembering those times she was talking about. There was a woman named Son Hyejin that Donghae and Amber introduced to him. They said she was their classmate and also a close friend. Yes, he remembers them hanging out a lot but not because they were close to each other but just because Hyejin was close to her cousins. He also remembers how she had become like those girls who showed interest for him. And like other girls, he tried to shoo her away but he totally can’t because of her friendship with his cousins. Though he really finds her irritating, he just tried to be a bit distant for him to not act rude in front of her.

He’s starting to be seriously afraid of what he is going to hear next now that Hyejin’s statement are starting to have concrete bases but he chose to be brave enough to know the whole story.

“S-so… Minki… H-how was he…. I mean, w-when…”, he asked stuttering, not knowing how to ask.

“I think it would be better if we’ll talk about it not in front of the child.”, she said, understanding what was he trying to ask.

Jonghyun nodded then looked at Taemin. “Can you please take him somewhere for a while?”

Taemin was blank for a few seconds then he hesitantly stood up and went to the boy. “C’mon Minki. Hyung will take you to the kitchen. Let’s eat cookies there.”

The boy hesitantly looked at Taemin’s hands offered in front of him then he looked to his mom. Hyejin smiled and nodded then Minki finally took Taemin’s hand and they went to the kitchen, leaving Jonghyun and Hyejin to talk.

“Start now. Be sure to say the truth.”, Jonghyun commanded.

Hyejin nodded. “As I said, we used to hangout before with your cousins… and there was one day, Donghae’s birthday party at their rest house. I was there and also you…”

Jonghyun nodded, acknowledging that that scene was true and he remembers it.

She continued. “The party started with a lot of guests but Donghae requested all his close friends to stay late. Everyone was having fun… there were a lot of drinks…”, she paused, hoping that Jonghyun already understands the following happenings.

Jonghyun just remained staring at her, weighing every statement she dropped. Until where she stopped talking, everything was true but he was not sure of the next because he can’t remember anything after that.

 “So you were telling me… we got drunk and that’s when everything happened?”

She nodded and Jonghyun just chuckled bitterly. “What a very common scene. Can’t we be more creative?”

She bit her lips, trying to hold her tears again. “But that was what really happened…”

The truth is he can’t determine if that was true or not. He knew he got drunk that night which often happens because he’s really not good at handling alcohol. Worries started to shake him as he remembered something after that certain night…

**FLASHBACK**

Jonghyun was brought out of his slumber when he felt his body cold. As soon as he gained his consciousness, he felt a striking pain his head that made him shut his eyes closed again.

‘Sh*t. Why did I even drink?’, he thought to himself.

He massaged his head until the pain slightly subsided and became manageable for him. He slowly opened his eyes again but there’s no use because everything was black. It was too dark that he can’t see anything and he can’t even confirm where he is but he was sure he wasn’t on his own room.

It’s not comfortable for him and he knows he can’t sleep properly if he is not on his own room. He seriously needs proper rest because of the unpleasant effect of alcohol on him, so he decided to stand up from the bed to go home. He cursed when he felt like falling back to the bed again when he sat up. He waited for his body to became stable before completely standing up and when he was about to take a step, his foot caught something. He d for it on the dark and feeling what was it, he realized it was his shirt.

'Why was I even shirtless?', he asked to himself as he slips the shirt on to him then he started walking in the dark. Though he would bump on to stuffs as he walks, he was too dizzy to think of switching the lights on first. All he wanted to do was search for the exit, ride his car, go home and sleep to end his headache.

He had finally d on what he assumed was doorknob and twisted it to open the door. When he went out, he saw his own pair of sneakers on the floor. He quickly slipped it on and headed out. Good thing he's still at Donghae's rest house. When he came to his car parked on the garage, he reached inside his pocket for his keys and he sighed in relief that he did not lost it despite his drunkenness.

**End of Flashback**

He bit his lower lip when he remembered that certain scene. He wanted to spank himself for being careless that night. He left without even caring about the room he was in or how did he even ended up there.

He finally managed to talk. "I can't even remember a thing that night. You said you were also drunk, how come you know what happened?"

"I don't remember everything but enough to figure out what happened...", Hyejin bowed her head to hide her blushing face.

It's starting to feel awkward having this kind of topic but they both know they have to continue to clarify everything. Jonghyun breathed deep before proceeding to another question. "W-why are you so sure it was...really me?"

Hyejin lowered her head more upon hearing his question. She started fiddling her fingers before answering, almost like a whisper. "We were the only one who got badly drunk and so I remember them carrying us inside the house to rest... a-and also b-because that night...e-everytime I call you.... y-you respond."

Jonghyun closed his eyes and held on his forehead. He had heard enough. All answers and proofs are laid down in front of him, waiting to be accepted by him but he can't. It's too sudden for him that his mind can't even process everything all at the same time and fear was the feeling he can only distinguish.

"Why now? Why just now?", he asked, not looking at her and just holding his forehead with eyes closed.

He heard sobs again coming from her. "I'm so sorry... I really didn't want to bother you about Minki because knowing you before, you weren't the type who would care. I can just raise my son alone and I know I can give him everything. For me, it's better if it'd stay that way but I'm doing this for Minki. He always gets depressed whenever he'd ask who was his father and I can't tell him. He also got bullied by other kids because of this and it breaks my heart to see my son crying because he lacks something..."

He felt sorry for what he heard. He felt guilty but at the same time, he knows he can't do something about it that easily. There are consequences for him and that's what is popping in his head right now.

He looked at her seriously. "Look, I wish it was that simple to solve this but it isn't. I... I'm getting married soon..."

Hyejin froze upon hearing it and she looks shocked but Jonghyun understands her reaction because it was the same reaction that was seen on everyone who knows him and his attitude towards girls before.

"To be honest, I don't exactly know what to do now. I have my own life and I can't afford to lose what I have now just by wrong decisions. I'm not saying that I'm not accepting Minki, but please, just please, let me think well about this.", his eyes begged to her.

He saw tears rolled on her cheeks again but she quickly wiped it. She nodded. "I understand. I don't want to ruin you either. I'm not forcing you to accept my son... your son. We can get back to what we are before."

She stood up and that was when Minki and Taemin went back. The boy immediately went to his mom and he was carried by her.

"Umma we ate a lot of cookies...", he smiled but pouted seeing his mom's face messed with tears. His face flashed an angry expression but with a hint of fear when he looked at Jonghyun, guessing that he was the one who made his mom cry.

"Minki, let's go home now.", Hyejin said after completely wiping her face then smiled at her son.

-------------------

Jonghyun stared at ceiling blankly as he sat on the couch. An hour has already passed after Hyejin and Minki left. He also already told Taemin everything he found out and there was Taemin, sitting on the same couch, trying to calm him.

"Hyung. What are you going to do now?", Taemin asked, worried.

"I honestly don't know.", he answered blankly, not taking his eyes away from the ceiling.

Taemin sighed. "Are you going to tell to Yerin noona?"

With that, Jonghyun's head automatically turned to look at Taemin. He looked at him helplessly, like a lost child, which is actually his current state now. He is completely lost in his own world and doesn't know to get back or even what to do. And with the expression that he flashed, Taemin already knew his answer.

"How about the other hyungs?", he asked again.

Jonghyun sighed. "Let's not tell them for now. Please Taemin, let's keep it between us until I can completely handle the situation. I don't want Yerin to be the last one to know too."

Taemin nodded and silence followed, until Taemin remembered to tell him something. "Hyung...", he called and Jonghyun looked at him.

He hesitated to continue but he knows he has to say it. "When I was with Minki....I got to see him up close and looking at him...", he sighed, "You do look a bit like him. There were resemblances."

Jonghyun got even more blank as he was before if that's even possible. Now, he lost his littlest chance and hope that maybe, Hyejin's statements aren't true. It was like the thin string that was holding him from falling from a cliff got cut. He didn't get a chance to look at the boy earlier so he didn't notice what Taemin was saying.

"Go wherever you want to go now. Here's my car key.", he handed Taemin the key that he was asking earlier.

Taemin took it hesitantly. "Are you fine here hyung? I can stay if you want."

Jonghyun shook his head. He needs time alone right now for his mind to be in total peace and maybe by that, he could feel better and his mind can process well. He told Taemin to go and even though the younger boy was worried, he chose to just leave as he understands that Jonghyun needs space.

When he's completely alone in his house, the first that popped in his mind was Yerin. A tear automatically formed on his eyes and rolled down his face as he buries his face in his palms. Yerin was the reason why he can't accept Minki right away because accepting the boy means losing her and that is the last thing he wants to happen. He can't take it. He told Hyejin that he can't lose everything he has now... and that is Yerin. She is his everything.

He feels guilty that he is hiding something from her but it was the only way he can temporarily secure her with him for now. These past years, all he did was to do things to make her with him and now, now that they're about to build a life of their own, he cannot lose her.

---------------

Yerin was on her couch with a laptop placed on her lap. She was near to dozing off because it’s already late and she was tired but she has to finish her paperworks first. She yawned and was about to continue typing when the doorbell rung. Her brows furrowed and she looked at the time on the corner of the laptop screen.

12:30 am

She set aside her laptop then stood up to check on her late night visitor.

“Who is it?”, she asked on the door intercom.

“It’s me.”

She smiled when she heard Jonghyun’s voice but grew confused as to why he came very late. She opened the door and there is him.

“Hey. Why are you here? It’s already late.” She said and widened the gap of the open door but Jonghyun wasn’t moving to step in. He was just standing there and staring at her.

“Yah. What’s with you? Don’t you know it really late now?”, she nagged.

But then Jonghyun suddenly stepped closer to her and hugged her tight, without any word. She was surprised but she hugged him back and she patted his back.

“Yah. I’m asking you why are you here? It’s past midnight already.”

He hugged her tighter and mumbled. “I’m sorry…”

Yerin chuckled. “What’s with you? I’m just asking you why you came. You don’t have to say sorry.”

He didn’t answer anymore and just buried his face on the crook of her shoulder. Yerin was confused but didn’t bother anymore because she’s already used to Jonghyun doing random things. She just let him hug her but when it’s already taking long and he seemed have no plans of letting go, she gently pushed him away.

“Let’s go in.”, she smiled at him and closed the door. She pulled Jonghyun’s hand but he back hugged her instead as they walk to the living room.

She unattached his arms from her to make him sit and as soon as she sat beside him, he held on her hand and intertwined it with his right away.

“Yah. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”, she looked at him weirdly while chuckling.

“Why are you still awake?”, he asked, ignoring her question.

“I was finishing some works. How about you, why did you came so late?”, she tilted her head on the side.

“I just want to see you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “See me? This late?”, she squinted her eyes and looked at him suspiciously. “Yah. Don’t tell me you being byuntae again that you have to come late here.”

“Actually no. But since you mentioned it…”, he smirked and looked at her ily. And he was slowly leaning close to her but she pushed him away.

“Yah! Kim Jonghyun.”, she scolded him but she gulped when she remembered that scene when they were in a vacation.

Jonghyun just chuckled then he leaned on Yerin’s shoulder and wrapped his arms on her waist like a baby wanting to be cuddled by his mother.  And they just stayed at that position as they talk.

“I came here with a taxi because Taemin borrowed my car.”, he said, still leaning to Yerin.

“Aww, such a good hyung.”, she praised him like a kid while caressing his hair with one hand.

He slightly looked up and glared at her then bit her neck as a punishment for teasing him. Yerin squealed but chuckled afterwards and Jonghyun leaned his head again on its position earlier. Then there suddenly was silence between them.

Jonghyun felt calmer now than he was earlier, being with Yerin, but he can’t manage to be at full peace. He seriously wants to cry on her shoulder right now but he knows he can’t so he’s trying hard to hold it in. He can’t do any other thing but to apologize without her knowing what was the real reason behind it.

Right at this point, he was so sure that he can’t let go of this woman. He can’t give her up for the sake of solving his problem of accepting his son. If he was to choose between her and Minki, or even any other thing on the world, he’ll be certainly choosing her. If it’s only possible…

But it is not…

His heart cannot take it to hurt a kid. Minki is innocent and it’s all his own fault after all, not being careful of his actions so he has to take responsibility. But also he can’t hurt Yerin. He will be the most shattered if that happens.

His hold on Yerin’s waist tightened unconsciously, like anytime he can lose her if his wrap loosened a bit. Yerin noticed it.

“Are you sure you’re fine?”, she asked worriedly.

“Yes I am. I just want to hold you tight.”, he closed his eyes and whispered to her. “I love you.”

Yerin still feel worried but she didn’t ask more. “I love you too.”

Yerin had felt that Jonghyun was motionless for quite a long time and she also observed his heavy breathing as he was still leaning on to her. He had fallen asleep on her shoulder while hugging her.

She sighed as she looked at the wall clock and saw that it’s almost 2am. She thought that maybe Jonghyun is really stressed that’s why he came to her house very late and he needs comfort. He looks so tired when he came earlier and he’s aura feels weak also and she knows that this is the best that she can do to at least make him feel relaxed.

She carefully removed Jonghyun’s arms wrapped around her and she gently removed his head leaning on her shoulder. She leaned him on the backrest for a while as she gets pillows and blanket from her room. When she came back, she gently moved Jonghyun to lie down on the sofa, placing a pillow under his head. She removed his shoes and covered him with blanket.

“Goodnight baby.”, she whispered to him thought he can’t hear it, scooting down. Then she pecked him on his lips before picking up her laptop which she set aside a while ago and heading to her own room.