Ever since I was a child, I had always hated being the center of attraction. I remembered once, I was supposed to receive a medal for doing so well in academics, but because I had to go up the stage to receive it, I just decided not to take it. See, the feeling of having every single eye watching you as you do something just didn’t make me feel comfortable. Yet here I was, standing in front of everyone in school shaking onstage, pouring my heat out to someone as I stood, only to find out that the sacrifice I just made was worthless after all.

Seeing how I had just made a complete fool of myself, I decided that I needed to save myself from becoming worse. And so, not bothering to finish my sentence, I turned around and left the microphone on the podium that was right beside me. Then, I ran out of there as quickly as I could, passing a lot of people who were either about to laugh at me or who were looking at me sympathetically. I even passed Dong Hae before I was able to leave the gym to get to the girls’ room. But I completely ignored him, knowing he probably didn’t hear anything I said through the microphone and was probably not going to talk to me anyway.

But as I was heading towards the girls’ room, I suddenly heard footsteps behind me, possibly following me. For a moment there, I actually thought Lee Dong Hae was the person. But when I turned to see who it was, my heart beating a mile a minute, I saw Na Mi instead of Dong Hae trying to catch up with me.

Though I was not in the mood to talk to her, I stopped half-walking and faced her with a hardened expression. “What do you want?” I asked her. I guessed because of my humiliation, my anger towards her magnified, knowing that if she hadn’t betrayed me, I wouldn’t have gone through this.

Being Na Mi’s best friend I knew for a fact that when someone talked to her the way I just did, she would definitely shoot back with a painful remark. But to my surprise, she didn’t. “Look, Ji Na, I know you’re still angry at me. And I know I shouldn’t be talking to you just yet, but I can’t help it.” she remarked with a sincere expression that I couldn’t help but let my guard down a little. “I think you should go back to the gym and talk to Dong Hae.”

Upon hearing her say that, I suddenly regretted softening up a little. She was obviously fooling around with me. “Funny you should say that after you ruined things between us.” I snapped at her, hoping it would hurt her enough to just leave me alone because I wanted, no, needed some time alone in the girls’ room to cry my humiliation away.

“I know that I hurt you by saying those things to Dong Hae and I’m sorry for that. But you know what? I’ not sorry for doing it because it was only after I did it did I realize that it was the only thing I needed to do to free myself from Dong Hae. And at first, I was thinking, was the price for it really worth more than it should? But after a while ago, I was certain that it wasn’t after all.” She spoke, not making much sense.

I let out a scoff. “Oh, so it’s worth losing your best friend over getting over a bad relationship?” I exclaimed at her angrily. I couldn’t believe she’d choose this moment to say this to me. It was already a bad evening for me, and yet she had to make it worse. “If that’s all you have to say, then I’m leaving.”

“No, wait, that’s not what I mean, Ji Na. I’m not saying I didn’t feel bad when I lost your friendship. I did, and I’ve been trying to think of ways to make things right between the two of us. But I knew that eventually, we’ll go back to the way we were before.” She replied hurriedly. “But what I’m trying to say is, I thought I was only doing it for myself, but in reality, I wasn’t. Remember the day before I did it? I asked you if you loved him already. But you kept insisting it wasn’t that deep yet. And now that I’ve realized it, I think it triggered me even more to do it, knowing that I could help you see how you really feel.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked her, feeling confused. Was she telling me she ruined my relationship with Dong Hae for me to realize I loved him?

Seeing that I calmed down a little, she gave me a smile. “Don’t you see, Ji Na? If I didn’t do what I did, you wouldn’t have the courage to stand on stage and admit that you really have feelings for Dong Hae.” She remarked in a hopeful tone, probably hoping I would see it the way she did.

And I did see what she was getting at. It was true that when I learned that Dong Hae was mad at me, I started to realize my feelings for him. Why else would I go through all these trouble if I didn’t? And if I didn’t really love him, why did I miss him these couple of days I couldn’t see him? But what good was my realization when Dong Hae would probably never believe me? “So what if I found out I do love him? And so I did something courageous just now. But what did it matter? He didn’t hear it all!” I let out, more frustrated than angry now.

“That’s why you have to go back and talk to him.” she answered encouragingly.

I shook my head. “I’d only make a bigger fool of myself if I went back and find out he wouldn’t listen.” I said, feeling pessimistic. “I mean, he’s been avoiding me for days.”

“Ji Na, you’ve gone this far. What else would you lose if you try once more?” she pointed out. She must’ve noticed me looking at her accusingly, blaming her for the situation I was in right now because she suddenly continued. “Not that I’m defending myself or anything, but you know, even if I didn’t say it to Dong Hae, the truth would still be out eventually.