BLACK

ll click the title for chapter song ll

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The colour of my heart is black.
It burns black as coal, just like that.

"GOSH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" 

I smash the glass with my bare fist and stare hard at the red liquid dripping down from my fingers, wondering what had I just done. You rush towards me immediately, tending to my bruised fist. My eyes are on you, images of you smiling so widely come flying across my eyes. 

Your smile was shining gold, but right now, all I can see is pain, is frustration.

"Why are you hurting yourself..." 

Even the way you speak, it feels so cold. 

"Don't. Don't do this to me." 

I grab hold of your wrist tightly, not bothering about the searing pain on my hand. I look deeply into your pair of hazel eyes, hoping to get a positive response from you.

"L-Let's just get your wounds treated first..."

Is this karma? Cause this is how I feel - Karma chasing me. I had treated you in such a manner before too... Did you learn this from me? Because, from your actions, I see myself in them. You cut off the eye battle, trying to help me to the couch as you head to look for the first-aid box. You don't even have to look for it, because you know exactly where it is. This place, has become so familiar to you. Even if this is my house, I guess you know it even better than I do. Since the time you spent here, seems to be longer than me.

I love you. Always and forever. 

The real name for love is definitely hate. We'd said this to each other countless of times. But even so, we still come to this end, being so tired and perhaps, are you hating on me?

We'll last till eternity. I promise. 

Hope and disappointment are parents of despair. I know I'd been giving you hopes, showering you with promises, but failing to keep them in the end. Is this why you're feeling so tired and depressed now? If given another chance, I will never make any more promises to you. I will just treat you right, every single day. Promises are said to be broken, isn't it? 

"There's nothing between me and her." 

I speak up as you focus on cleaning my wound, not making any eye contact with me at all. People around me have been reminding me of how lucky I am, to have you as my girlfriend. Why haven't I notice it? Maybe I'd been treating you like oxygen - You're readily available so I take you for granted. Before I know that there's a shadow on my face which the source of light that produces it, the beautiful you, is gone. 

"Stay still." 

You answer in a calm and peaceful manner, applying the medicine on my hand carefully. This hurts me. Alot. Have we reach the stage of you ignoring me completely, refusing to even quarrel with me? 

"It's a misunderstanding. Really." 

I try again nonetheless. I hold your hand with mine, forcing you to look at me. We lock our gazes and time seem to have stopped. We both know that there's simply too much misunderstandings between us. Why do I still hit the clubs when I have you? I don't know what's wrong with me, s