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"Let's break up." 

Do you know how much it pains me to say this to you? My eyes are wide with anger and frustration but you know, deep down, my heart is bleeding. Profusely. Yes, I'm acting strong, acting as though everything is fine. You don't know how much I hate myself for this. I assume that this is the best way out. I even go to the extend of getting your good friend to act along with me, just so that I can hurt you more, hurt you deeper. 

Though I know, I'm hurting as much as you too. 

"Don't do this to me Yoong... You love me. Right?" 

You cling on to my arm, eyes welling up tears. I rarely see your tears, the last time being Daesung oppa's accident. This, makes my heart wrench. Yes, I love you. So much that I can give up my life for you. It's not like you can't do the same for me. It's because I know you will, that's why I won't allow it to happen. I muster up my courage, removing your hand. 

"Loved. I don't now," I answer coldly, biting my lips hard in the process as I link my arms around Taeyang oppa. "I love Taeyang oppa now." 

"Gojitmal... Gojitmal!" Your eyes goes wide in disbelief, shaking your head repeatedly. 

"Ji, stop it," Taeyang oppa gives a deep and meaningful sigh, preventing him from touching me. "Let's make this peaceful." 

"I'm talking to her, not you," you hiss at him fiercely and push him hard, causing him to stumble a few steps back. 

"Hyung!" Both Seungri and Daesung oppa are shocked at your action as they try to hold you back. 

"Ji, stop your nonsense! She DOESN'T love you anymore! It's OVER between you two!" Taeyang oppa shouts at you. 

"SHUT UP!" You growl and launch yourself towards him, throwing a hard punch across his face. "I told you I'm talking to her not you!" 

"HYUNG!" The two Big Bang maknaes freaked out as you two wrestle against each other on the ground. 

"STOP IT!" I scream, tears falling down finally as I stand right in front of Taeyang oppa, receiving your incoming punch. 

Your fist is just inches away from me and everyone freeze with my reaction. I open my eyes and look straight and deep into your tired, betrayed eyes. 

"I'll talk to you then," I say plainly. "We're over." 

I watch you withdraw your fist, your legs weaken and finally, you drop to the ground, eyes in a complete daze as Daesung oppa and Seungri try to help you up. 

"I-" I feel like dying there and then and my entire heart goes all out to you. I want to tell you about everything so so much. "It's better if we don't see each other anymore..."

That's right. I'm an idiot. 

Period. 

☮☮☮☮☮☮☮

Everyone says that I'm Him Yoona - I'm strong in contrast to my size. It's lies, all lies. I ain't physically strong, nor am I emotionally strong. You know, I always think that I can live without you, since our job doesn't allow us to be there for each other every hour and every minute. But you know what, I can't. Whenever I stumble upon some of our memories, I start to cry, to plead, all to a naught. You aren't responding like you always did. 

There's only the echoes replying me. 

Perhaps now, I'm finally learning to live without you. Because, I know no matter how much tears I shed, it's useless. I'd did such mean things to you and it's only normal that you don't wish to see me anymore. 

"Ji-GD oppa..." 

But I'm wrong. I know you must be hurting inside but still, you put on a brave front as you give a smile at my awkward greeting. Is this a kind of punishment for me? To make me regret, to show that you, Kwon Ji Yong, is still the gentleman that I love and adore so much. We both watch Taeyang oppa head to the counter, ordering food for us. 

"You... How've you been..."

I want to ask if you'd forgotten about me, if you'd moved on... 

"Fine... How about you..."

But all the thoughts are erased because I'm an absolute coward. 

"The usual I guess?" You give a weak chuckle, taking a glance towards Taeyang oppa. "He's a nice chap. You should be happy. He wouldn't cheat on you." 

"Oppa, I-" Words fail me yet again and is replaced by tears as I look at you. 

"You?" You sigh. "Don't look at me with that pair of eyes again Yoona. This kills me. Stop giving me pitiful glances each time you see me. If you're preparing to date him for long, you've got to see me frequently. I've no regrets in loving you so let's just keep those good memories with you okays? Yes, it will take weeks, months for that heartac