Title: 3/5
There’s nothing particularly interesting with your title.  It lacks that extra spark which attracts readers.  

Description/Foreword: 7/10
The bolded words are the first thing readers will come across in your fanfiction.  You split the sentence strangely and in a way that makes the first part more confusing than interesting.  Your author’s note would fit better in the foreword, and advertising your other fics would work better in the foreword as well.  Letting your readers choose the ending is a bit risky, might I add.
As for your foreword, the quotes are a good way of creating interest for your fanfiction.  There isn’t a need to highlight the names and review shops because that makes it harder to read, but that isn’t as important to me, as a reader.

Poster/Background: 8/10
The pictures in general look on the lower quality side.  Also, Jiyong’s face seems to have been resized, but not to proportion.  As in, he looks narrow.

Characterization: 10/15
You’ve developed your main characters well, but the minor characters could use some work.  Thunder plays an interesting role in your story, but he isn’t “used” to his full potential.  You could do so much with your other characters, and this lack of development is what weakens your story--to some extent.  
You could try creating some weird habit or quirk to make your characters more memorable.  You could show some obvious--or not so obvious--character change.  Give your readers something to remember about your characters.

Spelling/Grammar: 15/20
For someone who doesn’t have English as a first language, I applaud you for your grammar.  Of course, it isn’t the most outstanding that I’ve seen, but you’re greatly ahead of a lot of people on the site in the grammar category.  Just work on your tenses--past vs. present--and everything else is satisfying.

Flow: 9/10
You start off great--not too fast or too slow--but as the story goes on, the pace starts to drag.

Originality/Plot: 15/25
Your plot is very similar to a lot of other fanfictions on AFF.  The whole “three guys in love with the same girl” plot is getting old.  However, Dara seems to be different from a lot of the other main characters, not to mention that she has a name.  A lot of the plots use ~~~~~ as the main character.  
You have your moments of originality, and that keeps the plot from turning into all of the other stories that follow this plot.  Keep adding in plot twists to add in the originality factor.

Enjoyment: 4/5
Your story interests me up to a certain point.  Maybe add in some more drama?

Total: 71/100

General Comments:
Honestly, I haven’t read a story with guys from 2PM in them for a long time.  I was beginning to think that everyone had moved on from 2PM.  I’m glad to see that your story is going strong, and I hope that you’ll find a lot of success from this story.  This story is good, but there are many ways in which it can be improved.  Thank you for requesting for a review, and I’m sorry if this wasn’t the score you expected.