Title: 4/5


Your title represents your story well--comedy and fluff, obviously.  Other than that, the word “in” should be lowercase, and the parentheses surrounding the “s” isn’t really necessary. Description/Foreword: 7/10


There are some minor grammar-related things:


That's for me to know, and you to find out. <--The comma is unnecessary


'comin <--The apostrophe should be after the “n”


Your description is fine, as in, it will make the reader want to read more.  I think that the questions you inserted will make new readers more interested in your fanfiction.


Your foreword should not contain character profiles--you should be able to put all of the information used into the context of your story, somehow.  Also, using colors besides a black or dark blue are highly not recommended.



Poster/Background: 10/10


Your poster fits the fanfiction well.  The animation is cute.



Characterization: 10/15


Chunji acts like a girl, honestly.  It’s understood that he’s supposed to be innocent, but no teenage boy that I know of  would skip into a girl’s room and be scared of another boy like that.  It’s fanfiction, but try to work on making Chunji act more like a boy.
You should give your character a name instead of using ~~~~~ or that feature that lets you insert the reader’s username into the story.  Giving your character a name is easy, and it’s one of the funnest parts of creating a fanfiction.
Otherwise, L.Joe--although way too erted at times--is bearable.  You’ve only posted up fifteen chapters, so I can’t really judge characterization because there’s a lot of time for your characters to grow.



Spelling/Grammar: 14/20


“~” shouldn’t be used too much.  It doesn’t show up in grammar rules or anything, so you’d be safer not using this at all if you could.  Also, you use Korean words way too much.  It’s not a bad thing to have a few Korean words here and there if they fit the context, and you’re able to identify them somewhere--the foreword or the bottom of the page--for people that are new to the Korean culture.
For example:
"But we haven't had bonding time in forever. Jebal~"
“jebal” means “please” in the English language.  Since you’re writing the rest of your fanfiction in English, why don’t you try: “But we haven’t had bonding time in forever.  Please?”
There are a few other errors here and there, but those can be fixed during proofreading.



Flow: 7/10


What makes your fanfiction hard to understand are the constant thoughts running through the different character’s minds.  Thoughts are normally written out in italics and changed into a different color--gray is most preferred.  If you get rid of all of the asterisks and change them all to italics, your story will flow better.  Also, keep the spacing even between lines.  Some of your lines are grouped together, while others are separated.  Keeping the spacing even will help with your flow.



Originality/Plot: 15/25


You have an interesting and promising plot in the works.  If you can find a way to keep things fun and fresh, then your story will become even more successful.  There weren’t enough twists to keep me absorbed in the fanfic, but there’s still much more you can add and delete that will keep the fic interesting.
To make your plot stronger, consider the following:


1) Develop conflict


2) Get your priorities straight.  Show what each character wants, and don’t let that change.


3) Surprise your readers by making your characters do the unexpected.



Enjoyment: 4/5


A fun read with a few things to fix.  



Total: 71/100



General Comments:


If you hadn’t mentioned that English wasn’t your first language, I would have believed that English was your first language.  Your grammar isn’t perfect, but no one’s grammar is perfect.  In fact, I spent a whole year in a grammar class, and I still can’t get all of the rules straight.  Remember what I mentioned above about making your plot stronger, and I can’t wait to see your story and writing grow  as you continue the story.  With every fanfiction comes improvement in writing.  Thank you for requesting a review, even though this probably wasn’t the score you were looking for.  Thanks for waiting!