Title: 5/5: 

I really liked it (eye-catching) and it told us that something awesome was going to happen such as there would be a game of sorts between two people. After reading the title I really wanted to read on and find out what would happen next. And as I read on I found that your title was very suiting to your story.

Description/Forward: 10/10

                Description 5/5: wow your description was amazing J It was exactly what I was looking for.

Forward ~ 5/5 : 

It was a very unique forward and it made me want to read on.

Poster/Background ~ 8/10 :

It was good because it showed us the two main characters, it made me think that this would possibly have to do with love or the pain of love (because they weren’t looking at each other) But I took 2 points off because it didn’t tell me anything else about the story and the other characters.

Characterization ~ 15/15 : 

I love how protective Dara is of CL and how because of the law-suit Jaejoong is more guarded. I found this to be very interesting and unique.

Spelling/Grammar ~ 17/20 : 

from the first chapter ~ It was an excellent first chapter. It was also well word too, there were some words I didn’t know (:P)

10 points for the good chapter

7 points for grammar (3 points off)

-01-

Because Dara is a rabbit

They were taller up close. Or maybe she was just a lot shorter because she wasn’t wearing heels. She had seen them around once or twice when she was still a trainee. It was when she still had time to watch those music shows for her personal ‘research’ as her career shifted from potential actress to a singer-idol in the making. Back then, she’d seen them as young boys instead of men. Maybe it was because she’s a (seperat she’sa to she’s a) couple of years older than them, but they struck her as inexperienced and immature even when she saw them perform one of their hotter numbers in one of the gayos ages ago.

Today, however, the three of them looked as if they aged several years. Oh, it wasn’t a physical thing because their faces haven’t changed remarkably. For all their troubles, the three still looked charismatic, handsome and polished with nary a hair out of place or a crinkle in those (change to their) suits. They were perfect angels in the eyes of some of their peers and majority of the fan girls who were determined to bust a gut or two just to get their attention. They still seemed untouchable.

that his shoulders were stooped. His hands hung listlessly at his sides, looking like he could drop the award he was holding anytime. When he stepped away from the podium, he walked like a man who lost the world instead of one who just got honoured honored (spelling mistake) in front of it. He looked defeated. After that display, she saw him compose himself and his face shuttered back to being Mr. Statue once again. He didn’t linger onstage as idols usually did when they just won an award just to catch every drop of the fifteen minutes of fame the award afforded them.

Flow ~ 10/10 : The point of view changes were very good, they flowed well and weren’t confusing. The story development so far is good too because you haven’t rushed anything and set the story up well.

Originality/Plot ~ 20/25 : 

it’s very unique, I would never have thought of Yoochun and CL as a couple and I would have never have thought of Dar wanting to break them up either. Jaejoong seemed badass when he was plotting to break them up too. J But the whole best friends of the couple joining together to break the couple up is clichéd in my opinion but I still think your story will turn out to be very good.

Enjoyment ~ 5/5 : 

basically loved everything.

Total ~ 90/100

Bonus ~ 5/5 : 

virtually no mistakes, I liked it and so did your commenter’s.

Grand Total ~ 95/100

General Comments ~ 

keep on writing! Congrats on the 95%

Reviewed by 1234cve