Title: 4/5


It’s not necessarily bad, but it’s cliche.  That’s what will stop certain people from clicking on your story.



Description/Foreword: 7/10


Listen to the same music, Read the same books <--The “L” in “listen” and the “R” in “read” should be lowercase.


bestest and most closest friend <--This kind of doesn’t fit with the girl’s character.  She swears, but she has a “bestest and most closest” friend?  And these two terms are the same, so you don’t need to include them both.


but one night after accidently feeling him up she decides to bring his body to the top of her to do list. <--“but one night, after accidentaly feeling him up, she decides to bring his body to the top of her to do list.”


Even though he hates her vulgar mouth, he pretty much fantasizes about being the lollipops and ice-cream that his little tutor so often puts in <--The word “mouth” is redundant here.


MinSoo isn't as much of an innocent little nerd as Maiara thinks and he wants to prove <--Comma after “Maiara”.


geek chic clothing <--Shouldn’t it be “geek clothing”.


>.< <--Never use emoticons in your foreword.



Poster/Background: 7/10


It’s cute, but it doesn’t fit the mood of the story.  Isn’t your story rated?



Characterization: 12/15


If people skip over the description and foreword--some people do, believe it or not--then they won’t understand where your story is taking place.  Your main girl does not have a Korean name, which might confuse people.  
It’s not a bad thing, but it might make some readers feel awkward.



Spelling/Grammar: 14/20


"Hey, my little tutor~" <--The ~ should never be used.


eye-contact <--You don’t need the hyphen.


"What do you want MinSoo?" <--Comma after “want”.


He nudged on my head softly. <--Nudged what on her head?  The readers don’t know.


"I'm wearing a skirt MinSoo..." <--Comma after “skirt”.


-_-; <--Emoticons are highly unrecommended.


"You're really pathetic you know that!" <--Comma after “pathetic”.


over-grown <--This is one word.


this bridge of his nose <--Don’t you mean: “the bridge of his nose”?


I lifted them until he gave me an approving smirk and I went back to lying uselessly in his strong arms <--Comma after “smirk”.


WTF <--Writing it out is recommended.  Some people might not know what this means.


"You seriously don't act as smart as you really are sometimes you know that?" <--Comma after “sometimes”.


"And you seriously don't act as hot are you really are," <--The “are” after “hot” should be “as”.


Seriously MinSoo! <--Comma after “seriously”.


was hearing <--The word “heard” sounds better here.


MinSoo wasn't too far behind me since I heard his familiar heavy footsteps. <--Comma after “me”.


"Well you don't really talk about all that often with me even when I'm making ual innuendos so..." <--Comma after “me” and “innuendos”.


You have tanned skin and you still sound like a valley girl! <--Comma after “skin”.


right now to choose me clothes <--Shouldn’t “me” be “my”?



Flow: 8/10


I feel that you speed up at the good parts and slow down in places that you don’t need to.



Plot/Originality: 23/25


I can honestly say that I have seen nothing like this in my whole year on AFF.  I’ve seen the plots where the girls become pretty or the boys become hot, but never have I seen what you’ve created.  Congratulations.



Enjoyment: 5/5


A fun read.  I would come back for more.



Total: 80/100



Bonus: 5/5


For being original (for the most part).



Grand Total: 85/100



Comments:


From the title, I was a bit hesitant to read.  It seemed like the typical cliche story that I hate the most.  But I’m glad that I read this.  You’ve amused me in so many ways through this fanfiction.  I’m sorry if I sound harsh throughout the review, and I’m sorry that I took so long.  My co-author doesn’t do her part.  I know it sounds like I’m making things up, but I can’t seem to get in touch with her via the internet (we see each other at school every day).
I’m sorry if this isn’t the score you were hoping for, and thank you for requesting a review!