I was happy to see the full gang hanging out together again.

                It was 5:00 pm, and anytime soon, the sun will be setting.

Joon – oppa and Tiffany are happily playing with Hyun Hwa, Jiyeon and Minho by the seashore. There are also other people who are loitering by the beach whom I think are the occupants of the neighbouring cottages. Joon – oppa and Tiffany will be tying their knot and will be announcing their engagement on public when we return to Seoul. Leeteuk – oppa, SiWoon – oppa and Min Hyuk are grilling the pork chops for tonight’s main dish. Jong Hyun – oppa, Shaine, Jung Shin chingoo and Soo Young unnie are all sitting laxly at the sun bathing lounges while talking and laughing at the same time.

                “I’ve heard what happened earlier, S,” Yoona spoke calmly, her face was full of concern.

                We were sitting at the wooden chairs at the house cottage’s veranda that we rent here at Jeju Island.

                “I don’t want to talk about it, Y,” I answered, thinking that I’m not yet ready to speak about my realizations earlier. The reality.

                “We understand that you are not yet ready to tell us about your fears and struggles, Hyun – ie,” Yuri unnie who just returned from preparing the utensils came from the kitchen, next to her is Tae Yeon - unnie. Both of them sat at the vacant wooden seats. “A bottle blows up when it’s already full, and I guess yours is full. Keeping it for a couple of years is not good.”

I don’t want to cry but soon as I see the understanding eyes of the three people who are facing me really made the river of tears flow hastily. I think now is the time.

“I-it should have been better if H-hyun Hwa have grown with a d-dad...” I’ve poured out and was aware that I was stammering. “I-it was hard for me to contradict the fact that all the past y-years I did a b-big mistake on hiding the truth from Yong – oppa. Seeing a happy couple with their child really makes me envious and realized that what if I swallowed all my pride and talked to Yong – oppa about our problem, will we end up the way I see the happy family?

                “Seeing Hyun Hwa always looking for a father as she sees her friends with their dads, will I keep on lying to her that her father is hiding while the fact is her father is just a phone call away whenever she needs him. What happened earlier and being stuck in the situation that I’m working for the person whom I am running away from all these years really make me realize that it is fate that is working now. It will be destiny that will erase my guilt feelings by letting them meet again... but I am afraid.

“How would he react after knowing the truth? Will he forgive me and accept me again? Will he accept our child? I think it’s the reason why all this years I was not able to face him and tell him the truth, it’s the forgiveness and acceptance that I am not sure if Yong – oppa can give. I’m saddened and hurt with the past, struggling in the present and afraid of the future, asking myself all this time, what am I suppose to do whenever this clogged situation happens? I don’t have the capability to run away again, I know that. I just can’t keep on running away. There is no escape now.”

The flowing of the liquids through my cheeks to my chin was really prosperous. I don’t know how to stop it so I just let it flow.

Yuri – unnie and Yoona stood up and was now hugging me while consoling me.

“You’re still in love with him...” Yoona spoke while wiping my tears away.

Yeah, I still do...my mind thought.

“Is there something that we can help?” Yuri – unnie spoke, she was rubbing my back.

I just shook my head. None.

Yong – hwa oppa will never forgive me, that’s a fact, relating it to the last conversation we had. He was full of hatred. The thing that I never wanted him to feel for me.

“Aigoo...” Tae Yeon – unnie spoke while handing me a glass of water.

“Waeyo, unnie?” Yoona spoke.

I already introduced them formally earlier and they suddenly get along.

“I still can’t believe the fact that I am mingling with celebrities,” she confided.

Yuri – unnie and Yoona laughed, and it made me smile. Her randomness eased the tension that I am feeling inside.

“Be use to it... you’ll meet more stars when you hangout with us,” Yuri – unnie told her.

After drinking the glass of water, it alleviated the barred air inside my throat so it relaxed me.

“Drama?” Soo Young – unnie spoke. I did not notice that she arrived.

I looked at the place she came from, the ones left are Jong Hyun – oppa and Shaine. Jung Shin chingoo is talking with the grilling boys at the moment.

I just smiled and she just pouted and sat at the vacant seat next to Tae Yeon unnie who just sat back after giving me the glass of water.

“I can sense something’s gonna happen tonight,” Soo Young unnie spoke while closing her eyes and leaned her head on the wall behind the wooden chair.

“Wae?” Tae Yeon unnie asked.

I was curious, too.

Soo Young unnie suddenly opened her eyes and turned her sight towards the beach. “I can feel a cold aura.”

I looked towards the direction she’s been looking and was thinking what’s the cold aura that she’s been talking besides the setting sun, the adults and kids loitering by the seashore and a perceptible couple walking towards the ocean.

I can’t believe my eyes while looking at the guy who was wearing a familiar dark business suit. He was walking steadily with a lady whom is wearing a pretty floral dress.

“Oh My God, our boss is really hot. But who’s that girl?” Tae Yeon unnie spoke with amazement.

Soo Young unnie hurriedly went towards the kids who are about a few meters away from the walking couple. She was running too fast. Following her is Yuri – unnie. As soon as they reached the kids, Soo Young unnie carried Hyun Hwa, while Yuri – unnie was somewhat talking to Joon – oppa and Tiffany.

I looked at the walking couple once again, it seems like they were busy talking about something, but Yong Hwa now was waving to someone. He’s waving to the pretty lady going towards them.

Yoona.

How did Yoona get there? She was just right beside me a few moments ago.

Why do I always forget my senses whenever Yong Hwa is in the scene?

I keep on sitting on the wooden chair, hoping that he might leave soon, and there I go again with my fear of him meeting Hyun Hwa.

But to my fail expectation, the couple with Yoona where heading towards the house cottage.

I want to go inside the cottage and hide, but my body won’t move.

Tae Yeon unnie held my hand and applied pressure, thinking that maybe she wants me to relax.

I know that I am an open book that anyone can easily read, but for now, I need to do something that will not let others read me. I breathe deeply and grabbed the fake eye glasses Tae Yeon unnie is wearing at the moment. I don’t want him to see my puffy eyes.

“Joo Hyun – ah, Yong Hwa – oppa is here...” I know Yoona was trying hard to relieve the apprehension.

I stood up and greeted them, “Annyonghaeseyo.”

Yong Hwa and the lady greeted me at the same time, “Annyonghaeseyo.”

The lady was indeed pretty, having pretty pair of eyes, fine – shaped nose and thin pink lips. She has an average height. Her hair is blonde and long which is curled artificially. Her face gives me the expression of being an ice princess, but it’s welcoming.

“Hyung, it’s been a long time. What brought you here?” Min Hyuk who was bringing the fresh grilled pork chops arrived and was surprised and was happy at the same time.

The smell of the delicious food really made my hungry stomach growl. I haven’t eaten anything since morning.

“Ahhh... the smell really makes me hungry,” the pretty lady beside Yong Hwa spoke.

“You can have dinner with us,” said the smiling Min Hyuk. He was polite as always.

“I would love that,” the high-pitched voice was heard. “It would be okay, right, oppa?”

“But...” Yong was glancing at me and the people around us. His face was tired and I can read the uneasiness in his eyes.

Am I beginning to read him again?

Jong Hyun – oppa with Shaine holding his elbow entered the cottage, just as Leeteuk – oppa, Jung Shin chingoo, Joon – oppa with Jiyeon, Yuri – unnie and Siwoon – oppa with Minho entered. Lastly, Soo Young – unnie with Hyun Hwa who was facing her back towards us, came. The latter was carried by Soo Young – unnie.

“Hyung, it’s the first gathering for ages with you... dine with us,” Min Hyuk followed up.

“Alright, I guess I can't decline,” Yong Hwa sound defeated but smiled at the gang.

I guess the gang’s going to be complete tonight.