Looking at the new figure I’m having really makes me remember the days I’ve been through.

                My shoulder – length hazel brown wavy hair was carelessly slack down, my chubby cheeks was redder than ever, and the huge bump on my tummy is a proof that my due date is fast approaching.

                Five months living at New York City was not that easy. Good thing my credentials are good and I can speak English fluently that I was accepted at a high class engineering Firm.

                “Hyun –ie, we’ll be late, palli...” Soo Young unnie shouted behind my room’s door.

                I met Soo Young unnie few days before I was accepted at the firm.

                She was posting online room rentals. After contacting her through her advertisement, we meet directly and I move into her apartment. The apartment costs high, it is fully furnished having two rooms and two bathrooms, so she let me lease the vacant room. We split the apartment, light and water’s bills.

                She was also the one who recommend me to work at the Engineering firm.

                I was so happy to have her as a housemate. Even though I keep to myself too much and just talk when I needed to answer her, she was always there to help me everytime I feel stressed due to the physical changes I am experiencing with my pregnancy. I learned that she finish Bachelor of Science in Nursing before she studied and graduated from her second course Civil Engineering.

                She told me that her parents were both doctors and wants her to be a doctor, but what she wants to do is build houses, structures, and bridges. She run away to pursue her dreams.

                I can relate to her, running away from our family, but my motive is different.

                Of course she knows that I am pregnant, that I am married... I mean, I was married... that my husband and I separated because my husband who is a businessman really travels a lot, that he hardly ever have time for me. She was too decent to respect my decision of not telling her more about myself, but I know she knew something’s wrong with me.

                “Coming... “ I answered.

                I pulled my hair into a messy bun and grab my coat hanged by the door.

                Office works.

                I just finished my designs and submitted it with the new name that I am using, Joo Hyun Jung.

                I need to use that name for my morality, to truly prove that I am married, that I bore a legitimate child in me.

                Everything was normal that day except for the wedding invitation sent to Soo Young unnie.

                She was out to check an ongoing project and told me that I don’t have to wait for her, since she’ll be going home directly.

                So an officemate handed the invitation to me knowing that we are housemates. She told me that a couple handed the invitation themselves.

                It was clear that the sender was a close friend of Soo Young unnie because outside the envelope was a post – it – note.

                “Pick up your dress at the wedding boutique...”

                                                                                Yuri and Siwoon

                I was so shocked. How come?

                Because of thinking so much of the invitation and the names printed on the note I did not realize that I was walking sloppily by New York’s sidewalks.

                I’ve read from the news a few months ago about Yuri unnie and Siwoon oppa’s engagement. I never thought that the wedding will be held here at New York. And why is Soo young unnie invited?

                I suddenly felt the pain in my tummy. It was like something is pushing my whole being downwards. I bit my lip, trying to ease the pain that I am feeling, but it didn’t help at all.  Seconds after, the sensation faded.

                I looked for my phone inside my hand bag to call for Soo Young unnie but the pain began stinging again, I bit my lips again, thinking that it will bleed soon. I held my stomach, but I was too afraid to shout for help.

                I need somebody.

                “Joo Hyun – ssi,” a man behind me spoke. The voice was really familiar. I heard that cool voice a long time ago.

                I turned towards the owner of the cool voice and was surprise to see him but was too blissful that among all the people passing by who notice my quandary, it was Jong Hyun oppa.

                “Oppa,” is all I can say.

                “What happened to you? Are you on labor?” he asked, flustered with my situation.

                “Oppa, take me to the hospital,” I felt my cheeks getting wet. I’m aware that those were the cold sweats and tears that I’m producing at the moment. The pain is really torrid.

                Jong Hyun oppa remained staring at me, as if he recognizes my pain.

He then called a cab. He guided me inside the cab as I told him the name of the hospital where I do my pre-natal check-ups.

                Few minutes later we are in the hospital.

                A gurney hurried towards us, as the nurses help me climb into it. I was in the emergency room, answering every question the nurse asked me. I know Jong Hyun – oppa heard about the name of the father. I can’t even fight his gaze towards me, it’s full of query.

Minutes later, a doctor came and continued assessing me and after that I was transferred into the labor room.

They said, that I’ll be experiencing more pain since I’m already in labor and my amniotic bag has exploded.         

Jong Hyun – oppa never left my side. He remained silent, I know he wants to ask about everything, but I’m not in the mood to relate everything to him. The stinging sensation keeps on coming every once in a while.

He asked, “Should I call somebody?”

“Soo Young unnie,” is all I can answer.

He was bringing my bag since I change into my hospital gown. He opened it and was looking for something.

He got my iPhone and began scanning it.

He placed it on his ear then began speaking.

                “Joo Hyun – ssi is now at the hospital. She’s now in labor,” A pause. “De, we’ll wait for you.”

                “Kansahamnida,” I mouthed.

                An honest smile formed his lips.

                “She’ll be late though. She said she’ll be going back home to get the baby stuffs,” he explained.

                 “Kwenchanayo,” I responded.

                Soo Young unnie arrived just as I was transferred to the delivery room. The doctor said that I will be on table.

                To my surprise, they allowed Jong Hyun – oppa to accompany me. They let him change into gowns with a mask and cap. I bet they thought that he is my husband.

                I know Soo Young unnie might think so, too.

                My OB – gynaecologist came in a few minutes after I was on table.

                Then minutes later you can hear her saying ‘push’ as the nurses simultaneously help the doctor and me.

                Jong Hyun remained beside me, holding my shoulder, consoling me, encouraging me to push for the baby, although the situation may be awkward because he is not the father of the child, all seems comforting. What would I do if I don’t have anyone beside me?

                A couple of minutes of shouting, pushing and feeling the pain of labor, a cry of a baby hovered the delivery room.

                “It’s a girl,” my doctor said.

                She lounged the baby on me, and I smiled at the baby’s cute features. She is so angelic at my sight.

                I released a long sigh as I held the baby for first time and felt the overwhelming warmth of a mother towards her own child. As I close my eyes, a nurse informed the doctor that made me open my tired eyes once again,

                “Doctor, the Pediatrician is already waiting for the baby.”

                The doctor took the baby and gave it to another doctor wearing a white gown.

                The female pediatrician looked so surprised. Is there something wrong with the baby?

                She slowly took the baby and looked at me again.

                Her eyes were really familiar, she also gaze at Jong Hyun – oppa. I looked at Jong Hyun – oppa. He was also surprised. What’s actually happening?

                Where did I see those eyes?

                Remembering those pair of pretty eyes, I then remembered.

                “Shaine,” Jong Hyun oppa mouthed.

                I held him when he is about to move towards Shaine who already turned her back towards us.

                “Oppa, I think it’s not the right time,” speaking to him in Korean with my tired voice.

                He followed but there is sorrow in his eyes.

                I never heard about the two having a love affair, how come there is sorrow in both eyes when they saw each other.

                Did Shaine think that Jong Hyun oppa is the father of my child, too?

                I need to talk to her.

                But my body is still too weak.

                I need rest.

                As I close my eyes, I feel someone cleaning me and changing me into clean gowns. I continued closing my eyes when they transferred me into a gurney again and when I open my eyes I was in a clean private hospital room.

                Soo young unnie is sitting on a seat beside my bed as Jong Hyun oppa is standing behind her.

                “You’re awake,” Soo Young unnie spoke.

                I smiled at her as she smiled back at me.

                I gazed at Jong Hyun – oppa who is smiling back at us.

                This guy is really handsome.

                “Unnie, it’s Jong – Hyun – oppa, oppa, this is Soo Young – unnie,” I introduced each other. “Unnie, he’s a close friend of my husband.”

                “Oh, I thought he is your husband, or I might say, ex – husband,” she said surprised. “And who wouldn’t know this guy? CNBLUE right?” she then gazed at Jong Hyun oppa at her back.

                “De unnie, but, anyo, he’s just a close friend,” I answered.

                Jong Hyun – oppa did not speak. He remained silent.

                There was complete silence and I chose to break it.

                “I think, both of you need to know the truth. But please, keep it a secret.”

                Being there for me all this time, through my pregnancy, I know both of them need to know the whole story. Then I began relating the whole story, cracking everytime I say his name, feeling the fluids running through my cheeks. From the time I had a secret marriage with him, the time he left, the time we broke up, and why I ended up being here at New York.

                “I know there is something you are hiding,” Soo Young unnie spoke first. “But I can’t blame you. You’ve been through a lot.”

                “I understand why you want to keep it a secret Joo Hyun. But what I don’t understand is why you left Korea without leaving a single word. You made your family worry so much including your friends, including me.  ” Jong Hyun – oppa said.

                Soo Young unnie received a call that led her to excuse herself.

                Jong Hyun oppa continued, “Your mom and dad was so sad about your disappearance, but when nanny informed them that you pack up some of your things, they conclude that you left with your own reason. They refuse to search for you knowing that you’ll come back someday, clarifying yourself with a well-founded reason.”

                I realized how I miss my family and friends so much.

                “I know that I can’t keep this secret forever, oppa. You’ve heard about everything, and everything that I’ve told you is the truth. I hope you understand me now, why I choose to ran away and live this way. But please let us keep the name of the father,” I answered. “You can inform them about seeing me here at New York, tell them that I’ve been doing fine. Leave it that way.”

                He nodded.

                Soo Young unnie just returned and told me that she’ll be getting something and will be right back.

                I remembered the invitation earlier.

                “Unnie, I received an invitation earlier,” I look at Jong Hyun oppa and requested. “Oppa, can you get the invitation from my bag.”

                Jong Hyun oppa expression of surprise was really clear when he notice that my handbag was still in his hands.

                He opened it and got the invitation and hand it to Soo Young unnie.

                “It’s Yuri’s and Siwoon oppa’s wedding tomorrow,” she spoke carelessly while scanning the invitation.

                “Yuri – unnie is my foster sister, unnie,” I related.

                She slowly turn towards and spoke, “ Jeongmal?”

                She was really surprised, “You’re the sister of my brother’s fiancée? How can the world be so small? Your sister has been missing you so much. So does it mean that you’re Seo Joo Hyun? How can I be so dumb? Joo Hyun... well, how can I not think of it? It’s because you told me you’re married and Yuri told me that Seo Joo Hyun is single. Not a good reason...aish! I’m really stupid! How did I survive my degree having this dumb side of me? Paboya!”

                Soo Young unnie began rattling too much that she was talking to herself more than talking to us.

                I laughed that made her stop her rap.

                “That’s the first time I hear you laugh. Sincha! For five months, it’s the first time,” she suddenly came out with.

                I laughed again. Soo Young unnie is really cute when she acts dumb.

                Jong Hyun oppa laughed along with me and eventually Soo Young unnie laughed.

                It made us forgot about Soo Young unnie’s escapade.

                “Oppa, why are you here?” I suddenly ask him.

                “I was invited to the wedding, too and decided to visit Shin Ae noona who is shooting her CF here,” he answered.               

                “So I guess, he would be there, too, right?” I turn towards the window when I felt something wedged in my throat because of including him in the conversation.

                “I guess so,” Jong Hyun oppa replied with sympathy.

                “Your family will be there, Hyun-ie, what will I tell them?” Soo Young unnie spoke that ease the tension.

                “Act as if you don’t know me while Jong Hyun oppa will say that we accidentally bump into each other and never had the chance to exchange any address or mobile number.” Aigoo, I’m becoming a hardcore liar lately and I really hate it.

                The two just agreed.

                “I think it’s not yet the time to see them... to see him,” I ended our conversation there.