All I wanted to do is melt down on the floor he was setting his feet on and evaporate somewhere with the wind. But I know it is really not possible.

                I know those pair of eyes, those pair of eyes that I have never forgotten all these years, except for the uncomfortable aura those eyes are expressing towards me. I can feel the coldness through his gaze, like it will devour me any time soon.

                Is he angry at me? How dare him! I’m the one who has the authority to be angry at this moment, but my feeling says otherwise.

                My heart flatters seeing him near me, seeing his good – looking feature in my eyes. Of course, there are changes, his messy cut hair was dyed into jet black that adds to his sensation of aloofness. I was used on seeing the cheerful – looking Yong with the dark – brown – hair. His face was really stiff, no emotions can be seen except for the chill his look is giving me. The playful kid Yong whom I’ve known way back is nowhere to be found now. It’s a blank now.

                All I see now is a handsome cold man in a gray suit.

                I don’t know this man, which I realized that it’s better this way. Not knowing about him, not reading what he was feeling, and not talking to him will make things easier, and expectations will not arise.

                All girls have pride, thinking that if I swallowed my pride I would end up hugging him and state my longing towards him. Relating to him how I miss him so much, how I’ve spent all the past nights crying quietly on my bed because of thinking about our failed relationship. Confide to him how it was hard for me to raise our child alone, that it would be better if he was there beside me, that there was never a moment of my life that I forgot about him. And finally tell him that I did not stop loving him even though it was too painful for me to hate the man I’m unconditionally in love with. Yeah, I still love him. But...

                No.

                I expect that he will be more casual, just a simple bow or ‘hi’ would be fine, instead he showed coldness since the moment our eyes met. He really presented me an unexpected gesture from him. So...

                No.

                I will not fight his gaze and walk away. I think being here at the wedding was such a bad idea.

                My heart is not ready, it’s still vulnerable.

                I thought I was already really tough, being able to raise my child without his help, being able to hide everything about us, and being able to survive out of his reach, not expecting that just one glimpse will turn everything upside – down.

                I know that we’ve exchange a very long gaze, not to gain the public’s attention I left the venue and headed towards our private cottage without looking back at anyone, especially him.

-------------------

                “Mommy,” Hyun Hwa welcome me with a crying face. I caught her haphazardly sitting on the wooden entrance terrace of our cottage while Mai is explaining something to her.

                “What happened?” I asked Mai.

                I was not expecting this to happen. All I wanted was to go straight to my room and crawl to my bed, thinking that sleeping might ease the quandary I’m experiencing. I almost forgot that I have a child to take care of because of focusing too much on the matter.

                “She wants to go to the beach, but you told me not to allow her to go anywhere so I stopped her,” the nineteen year – old pretty girl answered me.

                “It’s okay, I’ll take it from here.”

                I went towards Hyun Hwa and carried her up. I decided to have a morning walk with her, knowing that walking will relieve some of my stress.

                I went inside to change Hyun Hwa’s pyjamas into a simple floral dress and let her wear a summer hat and slippers. I also change into a long haltered apple green beach dress and match it with the same summer hat as Hyun Hwa's, it was a gift from Soo Young unnie. I wore my beach sandals and decided to go.

                The sun was already high but not too much to hurt my skin.

                I wore my sun glasses, took off my beach sandals and carried it as I trailed off Hyun Hwa. She was enjoying her time playing with the coming waves while walking.

                I surely have recovered from the fright I have with waves, thanks to... him.

                My child was the exact opposite though, she loves water so much and would surely play with it twenty – four, seven.

                We walked until Hyun Hwa was tired and told me to carry her, I wore my sandals again and went to the nearest shed while carrying her.

                Just before I placed her on the soft sand below a large shedding tree, she spoke,

                “Bath...Hyunie wants babath, mommy,”

                “Mommy’s tired, sweetie. Mommy will just take a rest first. Can you wait for a while baby?” I told her. I was really tired, physically and emotionally.

                Hyun Hwa just nodded and snuggled beside me as I held her closer.

                I leaned on the large tree’s trunk and close my eyes for a while.

-------------------------

                When I open my eyes I noticed that the small figure which was beside me was not there anymore, the thing left was her summer hat.

                Maybe I was really too tired that I didn’t even notice that I fell asleep just by closing my eyes.

                I hurriedly ran towards the ocean and was happy to see Hyun Hwa but what surprise me is that she was playing with a tall man with a jet black hair, wearing an already damp gray suit. His coat was carelessly placed by the seashore along with his necktie, leather shoes and socks.

                I don’t know what to do, I was so absorbed by the fact my child was playing with her daddy without knowing that it’s her dad, as the father is playing with her child without him knowing.

                The very defined resemblance, will he notice it?

                I don’t know how many seconds or minutes I stayed at that position. I was awaken when Hyun Hwa called me and waved at me.

                “Mommy...” she called with her cute small voice.

                The scene was so beautiful, the beautiful beach under the rising sun was played by two beautiful human beings, the father was looking out for her daughter as the daughter excitedly played with the small waves. Smiles were painted in their lips.

                I just wave back. I am aware that I was crying under the shades that I am using. I just can’t go towards them and let them see the non – stop tears on my face.

                The man looked towards my direction, even from afar I can see that he was smiling, an honest smile, the arresting smile that always stirs up my flattering emotion.

                But to my surprise, the smiling face faded and turned into the cold expression I’ve seen earlier.

                He picked up his things and told something to my child...or must I say, our child?              

                He guided her towards me.

                Ottokeyo? They are coming.

                I hurriedly wiped my tears and was grateful for the large sunglasses I wore.

                “Here you go, sweetie...” He started speaking English and I was quite startled with the endearment he once used to me.  “Mommy’s here to play with you. Uncle will go now.”

                “Thank you,” Hyun Hwa answered while cheerfully smiling at both of us.

                “Thank you...” I spoke.

                He smirked.

                I looked towards him. I know my expression can’t be read under this glasses but he answered my question.

                “So this is your child,” he began speaking in Korean, using a tone of intimidation. “The child you kept from everyone, the reason of your escapade. Are you afraid to stain your family’s reputation or are you afraid of me, being able to know that you planned all of it to piss me off while I was away and run away with the father of the child?”

                “What are you saying?” I was indeed confused. I really don’t know what he is talking about.

                “So you’re not telling me his name...or must I tell it?” he began speaking again with the ugly tone that annoys me.

                “Who?” the only word that came out form my mouth.

                “Jong Hyun,” he directly spoke.

                I was shocked. He thought that the father of my child is Jong Hyun oppa? How did it end like this? Can’t he see the resemblance he has with his own daughter?

                I was too full to absorb anything so I decided to leave him there.

                I hurriedly carried Hyun Hwa who was just listening silently at us. She doesn’t understand Korean so I’m sure that she was confused.

                I don’t know how I ended up inside our cottage and told Mai to pack up everything.

                Soo Young unnie who was already in her room was surprised, too.

                “Unnie, I’ll explain later. Let’s leave now.”

----------------------------

                 We stayed at the mansion for a couple of days. Waiting for Mom and Dad to arrive.

                I know that they are enjoying their moments at the resort so I called them to hurry and just enjoy their time there, that I’ll wait patiently at the mansion and talk with them when they'll arrive.

                I know I can’t keep everything from them so as soon as they arrived, we all gathered at the living room.

                I started explaining to them about my secret marriage with Yong Hwa – oppa. How happy I was to be married to him and how sad I was when I broke up with him.

                They were really surprise about the wedding but no one oppose about it.

                “You don’t need to leave, honey, a simple conversation might help both of you,” my understanding dad spoke.

                I shook my head gradually and began saying what happened the night after our wedding and how it produced a beautiful offspring. How I ended up meeting Soo Young unnie at New York, and how I work hard to raise my child as a single parent with the help of Soo Young unnie.

                “Show us your child... our grandchild,” Mom spoke first. Dad and the others were in disbelief. I can’t blame them though.

                Soo Young unnie excused herself and when she returned she was carrying the shy Hyun Hwa.

                She let Hyun Hwa down and the latter started running towards me and climb into my lap as she embrace me, facing her back to the audiences.

                I let her stay like that for a while and let her sit properly for the others to see her face which I know for sure will make a fuss.

                “Oh my Gosh!” Yuri unnie spoke and covered .

                “She resembles her dad too much,” Dad eventually spoke after the long pause.

                “Does he know?” I know Mom was referring to Yong Hwa oppa.

                I just shook my head.

                “What’s your plan?” My dad was now serious.

                “I don’t know. Actually I don’t want him to know about her. So I asked everyone to please keep your mouth close.”

                “No smoke can be keep in your hand, just as the secret, honey. He’ll know about her eventually. It’s too unfair for him,” Dad clarified. “You know, a father has the right to know about his child.”

                “Then let time tell him... I’m not yet ready. I’m still confused. I’m planning to go back to New York, and I think I might stay there for good,” I explained.

                “No, I will not allow you anymore,” Dad sounded authoritative. “You’ve been away too much without our consent.”

                “But living back here is complicated Appa, you know how much our family is well - known. The public’s eyes will see the famous Seo Hyun with a child and will spread how immoral I am for baring a child without wedlock.”

                “You know my capacity, honey. I will do everything to protect my child and grandchild. I will give you back your position as the chief designer at our firm. Soo Young can work there, too, if your problem is leaving her alone at New York.”               

                “I really do have plans in moving to Korea, Uncle,” Soo Young unnie agreed.

                “Unnie,” I whined.

                “Stop acting childish, Joo Hyun. You’re a mother now. Stop running away from the problem because it won’t help you at all. Face it, and then you can move on,” the sophisticated voice of Imo Yin Hye hovered.

                “If your problem is Yong Hwa, he will be leaving back to Los Angeles to continue his degree,” Siwoon oppa added.

                I know, I can’t escape from this family, so it’s better for me to follow them. I know everything will be alright, I hope so.

                They were excited about the new family member they just met. I know my child was indeed charming that will win everyone’s heart easily. She adjusted to the crowd very well and was now playing with her grandfather and grandmother. I think teaching her the Korean Language will be important since we’ll be staying back at Seoul, Korea.