Is it any different? Am I the one who let regret sip into my veins when the moment lingered between us? Can I really state that 22 is a tender age? I am pretty sure I know what love is. I am confident which side of the fence I am. Still with all the labels, catageories and parameters, why do I feel a droplet at the thought of you brushing past me? 

Questions. Plenty of them prompting me to think, to validate. Am I really who I am? How can one individual confuse me? Is this why they day that love conquers all? The many firm grip on the my hand by boy. The many fluttering moments gathered by the sweet lips of a male. All those times I basked under the moonlight after love being played out with a man. Have all those instances crumbled down to nothing? Was it a misconception? Had the hormones take the side of the bible and left my body hidden in the closet? 

I sighed. The sparkle I was playing with had simply ceased its existance. I let its remains be one with the ground. Lighting up another one, I lazily left it dangling like a lifeless doll. The fire struggles against gravity. I'm struggling with classification of identity. If 21 was innocence registering affection as an intention for possession of her, then what is it now? Am I just at a phase of seeking another's comfort? Have I truly become overly desperate for love? 

'Sica!' I know your voice. Startled, I could not turn around. This was suppose to be a spot for stupidity to dillegently travel along a circle. 'Yah!' then a sharp slap on my wrist that lets the stick join its brother of the same package. 'You trying to burn your hand?' you asks in frustration as your examination of my hand showed concern. Contradiction. That was your problem. You are a walking contradiction that is confusing my entire being. 'Taeng.' Your eyes lifted up with your hand still holding mine. 

Butterflies. Racing heartbeat. Pespiration of nerves. All those movie description of love, as of now is non applicable. My mind a pure blank. You guided me up on my two feet. 'Go in soon, the weather is chilly.' Next my hand was returned to my side.  You took firm strides away from me that aggitates the box of us. A black box that should have been chained to my disability to remember.

Yet here I squat, lighting another sparkle, watching it burn out. When it too joined the littered ground, I packed up. Then threw the used sparkles into the dustbin. Upon returning, Yul greeted me. 'Was the weather not suitable for the sparkles?' she asked as she noticed the box still in my hand. I didn't answer and just sat beside her. She stretched out and grab a discarded checked shirt to cover my tiny frame. 

Unknown to her, known to me, the shirt was yours. Your smell, one that I have came to identify. 'Yul. I want Taeng to break up.' I confessed my deepest secret. Yuri didn't tense up in disgust. She merely pat my head lightly. 'I know.' Her hand continued its soothing ways. I continued on our parrallel paths.