The smiling double edge sword

A day passed. A week went by. Then it became two weeks. Months rolled along. Time kept ticking, going round the indifferent frame. Its face a slight smirk as it greets the familiar stagnancy of my life. The pricking and pain of that days now lingers as a monotone humming in my head. A gentle reminder that I had made a choice. A decision that may be for the better or worse. It is times like this that my optimism happily pairs with my assumptions.

Yup. It is for the better. My eyes kindly found its way to the discarded box of us. Coincidentally, I had to place all our memories in a black box. Something within softly prompts for me to open and relive the glory days but I know better. So here I am standing, looking at the plain box. Oh how simplicity can be the summary of complexity and self made trouble. 

Suddenly the door bell rings. My head tilts as it awaits the next ring. There is, after all, not suppose to ring today. I went to the door and tip toe a little to look through the peep hole. Upon registering the face, I had to sigh. Knowing when to resign to fate, I opened the door. ‘Fany ah.’ I greeted her with exasperation. Her visits usually meant that I’m going to do something out of my routine. Something out of the norm that will never sit comfortably with my entire body. 

‘Yo Taetae.’ She pats my shoulder, walk past me uninvitedly into my crib as she smiles warmly but dangerously. I was once overly fond of her eye smile. However, in time, I came to know the truth. That special smile of hers is a double edge sword wrapped in a pretty pink bow. Another sigh leaves my lips as I lock up and faced her comfortably on my sofa. ‘How may I help, Ms?’ I decided to ask in a more formal tone to highlight my slight dislike for her appearance. 

‘Formal speech will not get you anywhere.’ she counters back easily. She always know how to dismiss my dismay. ‘Jessi got injured.’ intentionally she paused to watch the automatic reaction of my body tensing up. A smug look of satisfaction evidently pointed out her pleasure of her having the right intuition about me. I look away, desperately searching for my poker face. 

‘She fell on the escalator. She got herself a 2cm deep wound and a scar the length of her shin. To be safe, the doctor decided to keep her for observation for a night. That fragile being has stitches now. Isn’t she a poor little girl?’ Hearing the incident for the first time, M mind became blank as an appropriate response. Fany let the news settle in as she scrutinized every micro response of my body. Alright. I face her straight in the eye. ‘And you are... ...here?’ I asked.

Another brief moment of silence. What is she playing at? I don’t get this. ‘You could have just messaged me that whole chunk.’ I pointed out the normal way of transmitting information in this technological day and age. It came that smirk again. Frankly, a slight shiver passed through me. ‘I want you to visit her with me.’ my jaw drops at that ridiculous remark. 

Lie. 

This has to be a lie. Right? I stare hard at the proud face. ‘You got to be kidding.’ My inner thoughts voiced out. She smiles wider and grabs my hand. ‘You wish.’ she loves popping bubbles. Oh my head. I blink in disbelief at this lady. ‘Fany ah. I told you. We are ex lovers who are now strangers. Why would I cross the line that I drew in bold and fenced up?’ I said. 

‘Because...’ she pats my hand. I’m beginning to feel the shock waves crashing on with every tap she does. ‘love is not about right and wrong. Love is pink. A universal shade that brings happiness without any kind of prejudice. And.’ She stresses on the word and ceases her annoying pats. ‘I want your beautiful love to be expressed to the one that you love. Everyone needs this lovely colour in their life.’ Hearing her words, my mouth became dry. 

‘Fany ah. My love is of the minority and most likely in the shade of hell’s flames. You are the one with the bible, shouldn’t you know better as to where my point is coming from?’ I responded. ‘The bible said not to judge. Plus I’m sure that He loves us no matter what. I want all of us to embrace love to the highest degree.’ Fany may have a childlike way of expressing her purest of intention but it does nothing to reject the doubts that are deep seeded. 

I retrieved my hand from hers. ‘Fany. No. I am saying no. I mean no. I can’t keep screwing her mind and feelings.’ I lay down my conclusion. She pouted and frowned. ‘You force me.’ My eyes widen as I anticipated the on-coming threat. ‘I will tell on you to Mama Kim.’ For the second time, my jaw fell. This little brat is firing on al cylinders. 

‘My mother would support me in not seeing my ex-girlfriend.’ I came back weakly with a hard truth. ‘Mama Kim doesn’t know that you are on the other side of the fence. In addition, if she found out that you are not visiting your dear dear friend who is in hospital, I wonder whose side will she be on.’ Aish. She is really on a roll. I hit her with one fact, she retorts with the summarized factual truth. 

‘Fany...’ my mind races for a power up. Instead, she cuts me off. ‘Taetae, you only have two options. One, we go hand in hand to see her. Two, I kick you there to see her.’ she clearly sates my one way path. I’m not liking the sword shining so blatantly in my face. Crap.