Bang. Bang. Bang.

My mouth was dry. Eyes burning a hole into her beauty. This is insane. Indeed. Her... her back facing me like this is mental, so much so that my head is on shut down. The blinds of a functioning me has been pulled down. Oh... I am going nuts.

Somehow that had caused her to turn around. The whole motion passed through my eyes frame by frame. How her hair flowed effortlessly. How she had take a quick blink before looking at me. How her left foot did the turning while her right foot anchored her. This is crazy. 

‘Taeng.’ I recognise that look. It was indifferent, facially speaking. A face that prevented any clue of just how big or a tornado was coming for me. This . ‘Are you just going to stand there?’ she asks. It was like a bullet. Why? I didn’t know. All I did know is that, the simple question has inflicted a slight prick. 

I didn’t move. I didn’t speak. I just kept looking at her. I let out a single exhale then fell back into the usual rythem of breathing. My mouth opened then close. The one small action elicited a sign from her. ‘You haven’t change.’ she states. She has never been overly fond of my consistency. A mundane trend in my character and personality has always driven her up the wall. 

We shared a brief moment of plainly looking at each other. No words exchange, no facial expressions being changed, everything came to halt. Only the eyes piercing through, pushing through the silence to get our insides out. It was a messed up way of communicating. It was a method that I preferred. I’m so messed up but too stubborn without a reason to change. 

‘I...’ I paused for a while. The intensity of her looking at me hits me like a thousand bricks suddenly. ‘You. You are a little piece of crap that has totally mastered the art of mind ing.’ She says with every syllabus perfectly pronounced. In addition, she takes a step forward. 'You freaking hell left. You, little bull of a being, left. Yet, dare to message me after 3 whole ing years to say you think you saw me. Then apologise and hang up? I told you.’ Now she is standing right in front of me. Eyes watery. What have I done? ‘DON’T HANG UP ON ME!’ she yelled out loud. Eyes closing, letting the first few drops roll down.

My hand instinctively motioned upwards. ‘Don’t.’ she commands. I adhere and my right hand pauses its flight. Looking at those tears, my heart aches. The self disgust strangles and leads the march of pain. My hand falls back down and stays beside my body. She opens her eyes. ‘Stop this. Stop making me feel so much and to watch you just walk away time and time again. If you want me, fight for me. If you love me, tell me. If you want me, say something. I can’t always be the only one always expressing.’ It was painfully honest.

‘Taeng, if you love me, for once, please, just love me.’