Hydrologic Cycle: Rainbows are Miracles that don’t happen often.

By the time, I reached home. I threw myself into the depths of the cupboard. Like a mindless scavenger, I searched for that one photo frame. Gripping it tightly as I pulled it out, staring straight at Jessica in her wedding dress. I was in my tailored suit. By my other side was Tiffany in her bridesmaid gown. It was a picture of three of us at a makeshift wedding for Sica and I. It was also the last picture of the three of us. 

I held the frame in my chest as I wailed out. Suddenly, I could feel a pair of warm arms around me. ‘It is alright.’ She comforts me despite the fact that it was this devil in her arms that had left her so damn heartlessly. Shamelessly, in her arms, I cried. 

When the senseless outburst had stopped, we sat side by side each other. Her left hand placed beside my right. There was even an estimated four centimeter gap in between. No questions were asked as to what had occurred, not one word was voiced out at the sudden changed in our sail. She only sat beside me. Using her presence, she told me that she is there for me. 

I turn to face her. Noticing an extra pair of eyes on her, she turn around and looks at me with a warm smile. ‘I’m sorry Fany. I really thought that I was done with loving Sica. However when the song played... ...I... ...’ The tears came back. This time it was for both the one who I lost to a drunkard man behind the wheel as well as the one who waits patiently for me to move forward. I cry harder. 

Crying seems to be my only solac and biggest foe. Who am I to be allowed such form of expression when my only real warmth is being stabbed by me? She pats my head. ‘It is alright, Taetae. You did well this past year.’ Her sentence said with such sincerity made me tilt my head down in guilt.

Yea I did well this past year. Let us not dig up on the total mental of grief that lasted for the previous 3 years. She uses her left forefinger to lift up my chin. That last portion hurts. Even this look that she gives. The look of being here for me. Supporting me in my whirlpool of insanity. All I could do was hug her. 

‘I’m sorry.’ I apologise. Holding her at arm’s length, she leans in and give me a small peck on my forehead. ‘We are and will be fine. Jessica Jung will and always be loved.’ She smiles at the end. Despite her teary eyes, she stayed strong in front of my gaze for me. Pulling me in, embraced by her, it was then did I hear the whisper of ‘by you.’