Whoever

‘Tiff!’ ‘Fany!’ we both called out at her as we heard the deafening sound of the lock. Damn it, who gives a singer that much power? She sings and is able to lock us in undisturbed? Sica is a patient! Our eyes fixated on the metal of our emprisonment. 

When  the moment of staring at the lifeless object rolled by, the standard questions of she is had been asked and answered, I could only sit there. I’m beside her still. Inside, I was a running mess. A tornado by the name of awkward rips all my internal organs. To say that this is going smooth is an understatement. I need some understanding about this. Someone give me a sign. 

I let out a sigh. ‘Sorry.’ I mumbled. My eyes widen. What the am I saying?! Oh ing hell. I didn’t dare divert my eyes to look at her. What kind of stupid reflex reaction is that? Why am I apologising?

That question lingers. The silence slowly rose up the ranks. Then the question has to be left on the back burner. This is way too complicated. What am I doing? I stare at the ground searching for the pieces I am missing. 

Suddenly, she hugs me. Instantly, I froze. I shouldn’t have set by the bedside. We stayed that way. Soon my arms were around her waist too. Enjoying the warmth that I so missed, the moments where we fit. A time when my head does not comprehend anything but sings the same tune as my heart. 

Exhaling out, I gently peel myself out. ‘We can never be till the walls are down. I can’t promise you that I would wait. You know I hate empty promises. But Taeng, be it whoever, don’t let your head win all the time. You will spoil it.’ she calmly speaks. My head could only tilt down in avoidance. ‘Be happy.’ I sincerely wished. 

Following that, we simply wait for the door to unlock. No one spoke but neither did the awkwardness returned. It was just us. She on her bed. I’m sitting on the chair. A mere 10 centimeters apart. Yet as I watch her pretending to sleep, I came to conclude that I’m an .

When the door was heard to be unlock, facing the smug look on Fany’s face, I simply got up. ‘Be it whoever it may be.’ I said loud enough for her to hear. I briskly walk past the questioning box.

There is no ending page till one cuts it clean. There is no perfect situation, neither is there a compramise I’m willing to make. So I’m selfish in single handedly choosing our destination. This is it. This is it. This is all from it. 

So now I head home. Going back to the apartment, to be whoever I had in mind is me.