Reckless Winds

‘Hello...?’ you questioned over the phone. That was the third hello. I guess patience still runs a little longer for me than for others. Did you know it was me? As unlike you, I changed my number and roamed as a stranger for a month. ‘...Hey...’  I whispered. I heard the extra inhale. ‘I think I saw you.’ I’m beginning to sound normal. You, on the other hand, continues with your silence. Yea, it is shocking. 

‘Should I hang up? I mean it was stupid of me to call. I shouldn’t have...’ I paused for awhile. ‘Sorry.’ I am apologising again...This seems to be a bad habit becoming undone. I’m always sorry. Damn. 

I cut the line off. Threw my phone against the wall. I’m a reckless idiot even without a drip of alcohol. Lying back down onto the bed, I could only mutter ‘’. I lean on my side and faced the wall as punishment. I should have called with a proper reason or even a better thought through excuse. No me stupid. Called with nothing but facts. Argh.

Three days passed and I didn’t bother fixing my phone. Spend literally all my coins on the public phone back home. It is the freaking holiday yet I feel the weather but not the jolly part. Honestly, I wonder if I’m just better off lonely. Then I would have never been that stupid. 

Somebody should give me a manual script. I follow instructions well. On the other hand, if I were to be given the chance of self exploration through expressions, I must as well just bang my head on the wall. I should totally bang my head the next time stupidity greets me again.

Holding the small bag of ingredients for a very special christmas ramen, I continue my internal rant as I walked up the stairs. I mean there has to be a point where I cant get any dumber right? 

I heaved a sigh and started to swing the little bag in a kiddy circle. Let innocence return and bring its gay friend called happy back into me. After all, I’m broken and a visit from either or both is very much appreciated. I wish for a miracle. Like a wind so fresh that will knock me off my feet. 

I’m ready. 

My eyes look up. Ash brown hair greets me. A fitted white blouse and dark pants. My mouth became dry. The swinging stops. In fact, everything freezes. The only thing in motion is the air that passes as I stare at her silhouette. 

Fresh wind indeed. I’m totally not ready to be tripped off my feet.