“Umm…do you not like strawberries? Do you want me to order something else?” the woman sitting across from Changjo asked.

It has been a week since this person claimed that she was his mother and just yesterday the results came in to confirm her claim. Changjo didn’t know what to think when the test results got mailed to his home and he opened them to see that this woman was actually his mother, but he knew that he wanted to sit and talk with her. He wanted answers and she was the only person able to give them to him.

Key had been totally against him going to meet her today, Changjo knew this. He felt that his Key appa probably still felt threatened by her presence in Changjo’s life now, but Changjo knew that he would never abandon his family, he simply needed answers. So now here he was, sitting in this café near his house, across from his “mom,” with a slice of strawberry shortcake sitting in front of him that she took the liberty to order for him. He took the fact that she ordered his favorite desert as a mere coincidence however.

“No, its fine. I like it,” Changjo answered her and she seemed to let out a small sigh of relief as she stopped fidgeting with her fingers. Changjo noticed that she did that often when she was nervous, yet he couldn’t understand why she was so nervous when he’s the one that should be losing his over this.

“Ah…that’s good. I don’t know what you like, but I thought maybe you would like that since I love strawberries so much. I was hoping that you weren’t like your father, he hated all types of sweets,” she said as she let out a forced chuckle. The conversation was awkward to Changjo but he figured that he would let her speak for now while he ate a couple of pieces of cake.

“You’re tall like him though. At least you got that from him. It would not have been so good if you got my height. All the girls nowadays like tall guys,” she kept talking and Changjo remained silent until she soon noticed that he wasn’t responding.

“Umm…you can ask me anything that you’d like too. I’ll answer any questions that you have.”

Changjo swallowed the current piece of cake that he had in his mouth before asking “Why did you give me away?” As soon as the question left his lips she started fidgeting again and biting down on her lip.

She had to expect this question. Why else would she think I would want to meet her again if I wasn’t going to ask this? Changjo thought to himself as he observed her nervous behavior. He started to take in the features of his mother while it looked like she was trying to get her thoughts in order. She had long wavy hair, really fair skin, dark circles under her eyes that looked like she hadn’t slept much. She also had a straight nose and double eyelids that Changjo couldn’t tell if they were surgical or not, since he didn’t have those features but then again he could’ve gotten his nose and eyes from his dad. Overall Changjo thought she was really pretty.  She also looked really young in his opinion as well but then again maybe she just ages well. He was jarred out of his thoughts when she cleared and made an effort to start speaking.

“Well…I didn’t want to give you away. I want you to know that first,” she started and Changjo wanted to say something back but he decided against it and decided that it would be best to let her finish first since it seemed like she was having a hard time in the first place.

“I-I was sixteen when I gave birth to you and your father and I we were in love…at least I thought we were at the time. My parents…well my parents wanted to send you to America for adoption. They didn’t want the shame of their daughter having a child so young so they wanted to send you away but I wouldn’t let them,” she paused and took a sip of water before continuing.

“Your father…he was twenty two at the time and he came from a well off family who also tried to bury this “scandal” as they put it, but we thought we knew better. We both took money that we had saved up and moved into our own place. We raised you together for a year until…well until his father got sick and he decided that it would be best for him to go home and prepare to take over his father’s company. I asked him what about us and all he said was that he would send money to help take care of us,” she let out a sad laugh before raising her eyes from her hands to look at Changjo. Changjo could see the sadness and resentment in her eyes for his father but he could also tell that she still loved him in a way.

“Can you believe that? He thought you and I would just be fine if he sent money. Me a seventeen year old girl with a one year old son living on their own, I didn’t even have my high school degree, but he thought money would fix everything. I tried though, I tried for a while to make it on my own but after he left and seeing him get married to some other woman I fell into a state of depression and knew I wouldn’t be able to give you the care that you needed. So I decided to give you up. I went back to my home and begged for them to take my back. My parents did and I got counseling for my depression, but I never stopped thinking about you Jonghyun…or well I guess its Changjo now right?”

Changjo took in everything that she said and tried his best to make sense of it all, but one detail kept bothering him about her story and he just had to ask. “If you cared about me so much why did you never look for me after you got yourself together? Did you ever once try and find me again?”

She looked up at Changjo with wide eyes and he could see that she was hurt by his question as tears started to pool in the corners of her eyes.

“I did try and find you. Multiple times. I hired people to try and find where you were. I put every cent I earned into searching for you, but the search always came back empty until one day my father told me to stop wasting my and his money on trying to find you. He said that if I ever did find you it would only bring disgrace and shame to everything he’s worked hard for. So I stopped. I’m sorry, I know I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve just gone against my parents’ wishes and searched for you harder but I was young and then soon…soon I figured it would be better if I didn’t interfere with your and just kept my existence a mystery.”

“Why then? Why did you come up to me in the mall?! Why did you come to my house? Why did you do all of this and turn my life upside down after making your resolve to give up?!” Changjo exclaimed raising his voice to the woman. He was mad that she decided to just walk into his life like it was so easy. He was mad that she gave him up in the first place. He just wanted to go back to before he knew this woman but something inside him told him that this all happened for a reason.

“I…I just saw you and I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to get to know my son. I’ve thought about you for 19 years. I’ve thought about what your favorite foods were, what kind of music you liked, what your hobbies were, if you had a lot of friends, what type of girls you might date, all of it. I’ve imagined what you could be like for 19 years and for once I just wanted to know the truth. I just wanted to know something concrete about you besides how old you were. I know I’ve probably upset you and that you might be mad at me but even so, just sitting here talking to you has been the happiest moment of my life since the day you were born,” she said sincerely as she stared into his eyes and let the tears drip out of her eyes. She wiped them away quickly before laughing a little bit to herself.

“I’m sorry. I know you think I’m crazy but I really am so happy,” she said as she gave him a large smile. Changjo let out a soft sigh as he lowered his gaze down to the crumbs of cake left on his plate. He didn’t want to forgive her for giving him up. He didn’t want to be nice to her and tell her that everything was alright now that he knew the story behind how he came to be, but he also didn’t want to be too cruel to her either. He felt like she had been through enough and if this really was her happiest moment in her life, he didn’t want to ruin it just for the sake of him being an to her.

            “So…what should I call you? I don’t know if I’ll ever be comfortable calling you mom, but if we’re going to meet up again I should call you something besides “that woman” right?” Changjo said trying to change the subject and her eyes lit up from his question.

            “You can call me Jihae if you’d like. Jihae is just fine. Or Jihae noona but I guess ahjumma would be more appropriate huh?” she said as she seemed to be trying to figure out what would be best for Changjo to call her.

            “I think I’ll just call you Jihae-ssi for now. Is that alright?”

            “Yea, it’s fine. I’m just surprised to hear you say that we’ll meet again. I…well I don’t know. I figured that you hated me,” she spoke honestly and Changjo felt bad, because he knew that with the way he acted towards her that was not a bad assumption of how he did feel, but in reality he didn’t hate her. He was simply hurt and confused but now he was hoping to at least give her a chance.

            “I’m sorry for making you feel that way, but don’t expect me to open up to you so quickly. I want to get to know you because…well you’re my birth mom but it’s going to take me a while to get used to this whole thing.”

            “I understand and you don’t have to apologize to me. Like I said, this moment is the happiest I’ve been in 19 years. So you don’t have to apologize to me for anything,” she said and Changjo could honestly feel that she was as happy as she said she was.

            They stayed and talked for a while longer. Changjo learning that her father passed away recently but that her mother was still alive and that she still lived with her. She never told Changjo his father’s name, but she did mention that he was a powerful business man and showed Changjo a couple of old pictures that she had brought with her, of her and the man, as well as pictures of the couple taking care of Changjo for the first year after he was born. When Changjo left, he felt more complete after learning a little bit about where he came from and he was actually looking forward to their next meeting so he could learn more.

            “What has you so happy?” Yongguk asked him as he opened the door to let Changjo come into his apartment. Changjo knew he was content after his meeting with his mom but he didn’t think he was happy enough for it to show on his face, obviously he was wrong.

            Good thing I decided to come to Yongguk’s place first before coming home. Key appa would probably become even sadder and more anxious if he saw me come home so happy from the meeting with my mom.

            “Nothing hyung, I just met with someone today.”

            “Really? Was it another guy? Is he hotter than me?” Yongguk asked in a joking way as made his way into the kitchen to turn his boiling pot of ramen off but Changjo was able to hear the hint of jealously in his voice and couldn’t resist messing with him.

            “Actually, yea it was. It was one of my friends from school. He was a teacher’s assistant for one of my dance classes and he's super tall and tan and his muscles…man his body is so hard, like when he comes up behind you to help you with your moves and you feel his chest against your back, hyung, I swear he’s made up of all muscle and…”

            Yongguk slammed a pair of chopsticks on the counter, cutting Changjo off and Changjo did his best to not burst out laughing. Yongguk turned towards Changjo and leaned over the island counter that he was sitting at, staring deep into his eyes as if he was searching for the truth in them.

            “So…what did you guys do?”

            “Oh you know, just drove around, talked, I gave him a , basically just chilling,” Changjo said and he seriously almost lost it and laughed in Yongguk’s face. It was so easy to but then at the same time he was starting to think that he could be going too far.

            “Ok, now when are you going to stop lying and tell me who you actually met today?” Yongguk said as he leaned in even closer and smiled when he saw Changjo’s eyes go wide.

            “How did you know I was lying?!” Changjo asked and Yongguk couldn’t help but laugh as he planted a quick kiss on Changjo’s lips before heading back over to get his ramen.

            “Because the TA that you’re referring to, Kyungil, he lives all the way in Jeju and I doubt he came all the way here during the last few days of his break to see you.”

            “You never know! He could have!” Changjo exclaimed, upset that Yongguk thought someone wouldn’t travel far to come see him.

            “Also I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t leave his wife and newborn son for a little kid like you,” Yongguk added on laughing and that just made Changjo more upset.

            “If you knew I was lying, why didn’t you call me out on it earlier?!”

            “Because I wanted to see how far you would go with it. It was pretty amusing to watch, except…” Yongguk walked around the counter and stood directly in front of Changjo after placing his bowl of ramen down, “I would like it if you didn’t brag about other guys bodies to my face,” Yongguk said before placing a small peck on Changjo’s lips.

            “Ha! So you were jealous!” Changjo exclaimed, feeling like he had still won in the end.

            “Yea I was, but only a bit. I mean I know exactly how nice his body is considering the fact that we ed a couple of times freshman year,” Yongguk nonchalantly stated.

            “Now you’re the one who’s lying!”

            “Ok, if that’s what you think…” Yongguk said causing Changjo to become more frustrated. They continued their silly teasing as they ate the ramen and soon decided to just call a truce on the whole thing, but Changjo did figure out that Yongguk was in fact not lying about having with Kyungil and Changjo was more envious than jealous.

            “So are you going to tell me who you actually did meet with now?” Yongguk asked as they lay on his couch cuddling and he ran his fingers through Changjo’s hair gently.

            “My mom.” Changjo answered simply and Yongguk laughed a bit.

            “Fine fine…don’t tell me. It’s not like it really matters,” he said. Changjo lifted his head from Yongguk’s chest to look into his eyes before repeating his answer.

            “I’m serious. I met up with my biological mother and we y’know…talked.”

            “When did you find her? How long have you been talking? Is she nice? Do you like her?” Yongguk asked as he sat up on the couch causing Changjo to slide off of his chest and also sit up.

            “Well she actually found me and today was the first time we really talked. She seems nice and I guess I like her. She’s young…she had me when she was 16.”

            “Is that why she gave you up?”

            Changjo shook his head. “No, my father…well he left her so she couldn’t raise me on her own and gave me up when I was one.”

            “Oh…well are you ok? I mean I guess you are since you were so happy when you got here and I’m assuming that she’s the reason why, but still are you ok after meeting your real mother?” Yongguk asked and Changjo could hear the concern that he had for him in his voice.

            “Yea, I’m fine,” Changjo said before leaning in and placing a kiss on Yongguk’s lips, “Thanks for worrying about me though.”

            Yongguk pulled Changjo into his arms and kissed the top of his head. “Of course I worry about you. I told you I love you right so why wouldn’t I worry about you when something major like this happens?”

            Changjo hit Yongguk lightly on his chest as he let out a soft laugh. “Shut up, stop being so cheesy.”

            “Hmm…only if you stay the night with me.”

            “You’re ridiculous hyung. I don’t have any clothes with me plus we go back to school in three days and I still need to start packing and stuff.”

            “You can pack later and I’ll lend you something to sleep in and wash your clothes so you can wear them again in the morning. So…will you spend the night with me?” Yongguk asked as he pulled Changjo closer to him until the younger male was straddling him and Yongguk was nuzzling his nose into the crook of Changjo’s neck.

            “I guess I can stay. As long as you cook dinner for me and I don’t mean ramen.”

            “Of course, I’ll make you a five course meal if you really want,” Yongguk said hugging Changjo tighter and while Changjo loved all the affection Yongguk would give him, in a way it still felt strange to him, almost as if he was forcing himself to show Changjo how much he loved him.

            “How about we just settle on one course?”

            “Ok, deal. So when am I going to meet your mom?” Yongguk asked as he let Changjo go to see what ingredients he had in the kitchen and decide if he had to make a run to the store or not. Changjo watched him search but didn’t respond to his question.

            “Changjo?”

            “Umm…well she sort of doesn’t know that I’m seeing anyone,” he said in a hushed tone.

            “I’m sure she won’t be that surprised. I mean you’re definitely old enough to be dating,” Yongguk said as he pulled some ingredients out of the fridge and started prepping them.

            “Yea, but she also doesn’t know that I’m gay. So that may be the part that comes as a shock to her.”

            “Didn’t she meet your parents already? Why do you think it would be that much of a surprise to her knowing that you grew up with two fathers?”

            “I don’t know. How about I tell her after I let my fathers know that we’re back together? Because I’m pretty sure if my Key appa finds out I told her first he’ll throw a fit,” Changjo said as he walked over to the kitchen to try and figure out what Yongguk might be making for him by looking at the ingredients.

            “When is he not throwing a fit?” Yongguk muttered and Changjo hit him lightly on the arm.

            “You know you and my Key appa are really a lot alike. You’re both annoyingly stubborn for no reason,” Changjo joked.

            “I am not stubborn, but I will say that we’re alike since we both love you, except I love you in a different way,” Yongguk said as he placed a small kiss on Changjo’s lips. Changjo hit him again as he laughed a bit, telling him to stop being so gross and focus on making him some good food.

            While Changjo and Yongguk “played house” as Yongguk like to put it, Himchan was apologizing to Ricky again and Ricky wanted Himchan to stop feeling guilty for what happened last week already. Ricky had forgiven Himchan the next day after being hit as Himchan made him breakfast, gave him his Christmas presents, and showed him how to cover up his bruise with makeup. He had known that Himchan didn’t mean it and knew how sorry he felt, but here they were a week later and Himchan was still apologizing to Ricky any chance he got. He showered him with little gifts like flowers or small pieces of jewelry and made sure hold him close at night. Ricky liked the attention but he wanted Himchan to stop feeling guilty and go back to acting like the Himchan he knew before. Yet instead here Himchan was handing him yet another box.

            “Hyung, what did you get me now?” Ricky whined.

            “Open it and find out,” Himchan said ignoring Ricky’s whining. Ricky opened the box to see a brand new iphone in it. He looked from the box, to Himchan’s face, and back to the box.

            “Hyung! Why did you get me such an expensive gift?! I was going to buy a new phone myself.”

            “Well you shouldn’t have to since I’m the one that ruined your other phone. Also I already added my number, your mom’s number, Changjo’s parents number, along with Changjo’s number to the phone.”

            Ricky was about to ask about with Seungho’s number but he knew that would just make Himchan upset and decided to keep his mouth shut and thank him instead.

            “It’s no problem. Now you know I have my internship until late tonight but I’m going to try and be home no later than 8pm ok? You don’t have work today do you?”

            “No hyung, I have off a couple of days. My managers don’t want me to accumulate too many vacation days because they’ll get in trouble. Do you want me to cook anything in particular for you to eat when you get home?”

          “Just make whatever you want,” Himchan said as he kissed Ricky’s forehead, “You know I love you right?”

            “Of course I know that. You’ve only been telling me so ten times a day every day since…well since the incident.”

            “And you know I’m sorry about. I’m really sorry and…”

            “Yes I know. You promise to never do it again. I believe you; now go before you’re late to your internship hyung. I’ll be here when you get back so don’t worry about me and just do a good job today!”

            Himchan hugged Ricky tightly again before finally leaving him alone in the apartment to head to his internship. Ricky plopped down onto the sofa with a soft sigh as he looked through his new phone and started to set things up the way he liked it. Once he was done he decided to call Changjo since they hadn’t spoken in a while and he figured that his best friend would be heading back to school soon so he wanted to talk to him before that happened.  He dialed his number and waited a while before Changjo finally picked up.

            “Yoboseyo?” Changjo answered and Ricky could hear the confusion in his voice.

            “Hey Changjo. What have you been up to?”

            “Ricky?”

            “Well duh, who else would it be?”

            “I don’t know. It could be anyone since you’re calling me from a strange number. Anyway why haven’t I heard from you all week? Also why did you change your number? Even though that does explain why I couldn’t get in contact with you either, you could at least give your best friend your new number when you change it you know!”

            “Wait, what are you talking about Changjo? My number changed?”

            “Yea, that’s why I didn’t know it was you when I picked up.” Changjo answered and Ricky was so confused. Why would Himchan change his number when he could’ve kept it the same and just gotten a new phone? He figured he could ask him when he got home.

            “Wait did you not know your number was different?” Changjo then asked and Ricky shook his head before realizing how stupid he was before saying no.

            “Himchan hyung just bought me a new phone today because my old one got smashed. I didn’t know he changed my number though. He didn’t tell me, but now that I know can you read me my new number so I can write it down and know what it is. Also can you give me Seungho hyung’s number while you’re at it?” Ricky asked.

            “Is that why you called me? You didn’t want to catch up, you just wanted your precious Seungho hyung’s number,” Changjo teased and Ricky felt himself becoming flustered a bit.

            “No! I wanted to catch up with you before you went to school and then I remembered that you would have his number so I just asked for it!” Ricky exclaimed, trying to defend himself against the allegations.

            “Calm down Ricky. Anyway here’s the number,” Changjo gave Ricky the numbers that he asked for and they talked for a bit longer. Changjo told Ricky about his meeting with his mother and that he’s spending the night at Yongguk’s, but their conversation didn’t last long since Ricky could hear Yongguk bothering Changjo and decided to let his best friend go tend to his boyfriend.

            After writing his new number down and saving Seungho’s number to his phone Ricky decided to text Seungho to give the older man his new number. It wasn’t even five minutes after he sent the text that Seungho was calling him, but he could barely get out a hello before Seungho started talking.      

            “Ricky! Are you ok?! I haven’t been able to contact you all week and after that conversation with your boyfriend I got nervous that he did something,” Seungho rushed out and Ricky was happy that his friend worried about him.

            “I’m fine hyung. My old phone just broke and so I had to get a new one, so that’s why you haven’t been able to reach me all of this time.”

            “Did it break or did he break it?” Seungho asked.

Ricky went silent for a moment before saying “It was an accident hyung. He didn’t mean to.”

            “Did he tell you that when he hit you too? That it was just an accident?”

            “W-wha…How did..?” Ricky was flabbergasted at how Seungho could possibly know that Himchan hit him and before he could get his thoughts together quickly Seungho said that he’s coming over.

            “No! Hyung you can’t come over! It was an accident and it didn’t hurt that much anyway. Plus he’s apologized for it every day since its happened and he hasn’t hurt me since!” Ricky exclaimed but Seungho didn’t care and was persistent on coming over.

            “Hyung please don’t come over here. I can meet you somewhere if you want tonight. Maybe around nine or ten?” Ricky said and the other line was quiet for a while. He almost thought that Seungho had hung up on him it was so quiet.

            “Ok, but if by ten o’clock I don’t see you I’m coming over.” Seungho said and Ricky knew he was serious. He just didn’t want to have to deal with the drama that would ensue if Himchan caught Seungho at their place.

            “Don’t worry you’ll see me tonight, but I have to go now. I have to start making dinner for Himchan,” he said and Ricky was able to hear Seungho his teeth at him before saying bye.

            Ricky let out a harsh sigh as soon at the phone conversation was over. He wanted to meet up with Seungho tonight but he didn’t know how he was going to exactly get out of the house without making Himchan angry.

            Why should he be angry though? I told him that Seungho hyung and I are just friends. He can’t get mad at me for wanting to meet up with my friends, right? Ricky thought to himself but even he knew he wasn’t convincing himself that Himchan wasn’t going to be upset with him, but he was still determined to leave the house and meet up with his friend.

            Yet when Himchan got home he didn’t bring up one word about Seungho. They talked about everything else except Ricky trying to go out for the night. Ricky even forgot to ask Himchan why he changed his cellphone number, but he could only put the conversation off for so long. Soon it was 9:15 and he knew it was now or never and that if he chose never that Seungho hyung would probably be banging on their door by 10:20. So he took a deep breath and turned to Himchan on the bed, who was currently on his computer reading something for his internship.

            “Himchan?” he called his name out quietly and got no response.

            “Himchan? Himchan hyung?” Ricky tried again and soon Himchan looked up from his computer screen asking “what?”

            “Ah well I just wanted to let you know that I’m about to go out for a little while. I should be back by 11 though,” Ricky said and then got off of the bed to start putting on a pair of jeans, not waiting to hear Himchan’s response.

            “Who are you going out with?” Himchan asked as he put his laptop down and stared at Ricky. Ricky could feel his stares but still decided he wasn’t going to lie to him.

            “Seungho hyung. He just wants to get a drink at a bar near here.”

            “You know you can’t hold your alcohol well,” Himchan said and Ricky could hear the soft sound of Himchan’s footsteps across their carpeted floor before feeling him standing right behind him. He took a deep breath before turning around and giving Himchan a small smile.

            “I know. I mean I did work in a bar for a little while so I know my limits. We’re just going to talk.”

            “Ok then I’m coming with you.”

            “What? No hyung. Just stay home and rest. You know you have to get up early again for your internship tomorrow.”

            “No, I’m off tomorrow. So I’m coming with you,” Himchan stated and Ricky knew that he was serious, so he gave in and said fine.

            Yet Himchan tagging along was now causing a horrible awkward silence as all of them sat at a table in the bar. It’s been five minutes since they arrived and Ricky was able to tell as soon as Seungho saw them that the other man was not happy to see his boyfriend with him. So for the last five minutes they’ve both been awkwardly sipping their drinks as Ricky tried his hardest to start some type of conversation between the three of them.

            “So…I wasn’t expecting you to tag along with Ricky,” Seungho finally said something as he put his now empty glass down on the table.

            “Why’s that? Am I ruining your plans by being here?” Himchan responded in a sarcastic manner.

            “Well actually yes. I planned on talking to Ricky alone, but it seems like I won’t be able to do that now, now does it?”

            “You mean you planned on being alone with Ricky so you can get him drunk and have your way with him. Well sorry but that’s not going to happen,” Himchan said and all Seungho could do was laugh.

            “Wow you’re really insecure aren’t you? Plus if I wanted to have with Ricky it would’ve already by this point, but obviously you don’t trust Ricky enough to not cheat on you. So that must mean that your relationship is on the rocks,” Seungho said as he sipped on the new drink that the waitress had brought to the table.

            “Ah hyung our relationship is fine. Right Himchan hyung?” Ricky said trying to stop whatever was going on right now. He could see that Seungho was easily riling Himchan up and he didn’t want Himchan to be upset.

            “Of course our relationship is fine. I just don’t appreciate outsiders trying to come between us,” Himchan said as he placed his arm around Ricky’s shoulders and pulling him close to him.   

            “Well if it’s so perfect then why’d you hit him?” Seungho asked as he glared at Himchan, almost as if he was trying to challenge him with his eyes. Himchan looked at Seungho with wide eyes before turning his gaze onto Ricky and Ricky was able to tell that Himchan was now officially pissed off.

            “You told him that I hit you?!” Himchan spat out as he gripped Ricky’s shoulder tighter.

            “No hyung! He just guessed and…”

            “And you didn’t deny it?!”

            “Well…I told him that you apologized and that it was fine,” Ricky said as he tried to take Himchan’s hand off of his shoulder. Seungho noticed this and was about to step him.

            “I think you should let him go. He doesn’t seem comfortable with you touching him,” Seungho said slowly starting to get up from his seat.

            “I think you should mind your ing business. Come on Ricky, we’re leaving,” Himchan said as he pulled Ricky from his seat. Seungho quickly settled the bill before rushing out of the bar to catch up with them. He looked to his left and then his right and saw Himchan still pulling on Ricky’s arm and Ricky telling him that it hurt. So he quickly made his way over to them and pulled Ricky out of Himchan’s grasp.

            “I’m pretty sure I told you to mind your own business,” Himchan spat out. He was seething and Seungho knew that he couldn’t send Ricky home with him.

            “Yea and I’m pretty sure that Ricky told you that you were hurting him, but you ignored that just like how I’m ignoring what you said,” he said as he hugged Ricky to his chest.

            “I was not hurting him now let him go so we can go home. Come on Ricky!” Himchan exclaimed and Seungho looked down to Ricky before asking him if he wanted to spend the night with him. Ricky looked over to Himchan and walked over to him and Seungho felt like snatching him back especially when he saw the satisfied smirk on Himchan’s face.

            “Hyung…I think, I mean it might be best if I stay with Seungho hyung for the night, just so you can calm down,” Ricky said and Seungho could barely hide the smile that placed itself on his face.

            “Ricky what nonsense are you talking about now? Come on we’re going home,” Himchan said as he grabbed Ricky’s arm again but Seungho once again removed Ricky from him.

          “I think he said he wants to stay at my place tonight. So why don’t you go home and cool off for the night?”

            Himchan his teeth and turned his gaze from Seungho back onto Ricky. “If you decide to stay with him tonight then you might as well not come back,” Himchan said and Ricky turned to look at Himchan and he was about to walk back over to him before Seungho pulled him back to him and whispered into his ear telling him not to go. So they both watched as Himchan walked away and Seungho was happy to see him leave, but he could tell Ricky wasn’t too happy with the situation.

            “Ricky?” The younger male looked up at him and he saw the sadness in his eyes causing him to let out a soft sigh. “Come on, let get out of the cold and get you to my place,” he said as he brought Ricky over to his car.

            The ride to his place was done in silence and Seungho almost felt bad for convincing Ricky to come with him but he also knew that Ricky would be safer tonight if he was away from Himchan. Seungho was getting nervous though that they made it all the way to his place without Ricky saying a word to him. Ricky was looking around the apartment and Seungho told him he could sit on the couch while he got them something to drink. When he came back with the two glasses of water he saw Ricky sitting on the couch staring off into space and lightly tapped his shoulder so he wouldn’t startle him too much.

            “Ricky? Are you ok?”

            “Yea.” Ricky said and even though it was one word Seungho was just happy that he said something. He was about to speak up again but Ricky beat him to it.

            “Why did you take me away from Himchan?”

            “Ah well…I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”

            “But…what if he really doesn’t let me come home tomorrow?” Ricky asked as he turned to look at Seungho and Seungho could see the tears b in his eyes. He placed his glass on the coffee table before sitting on the couch next to Ricky and pulling him into his arms.

            “Shh Ricky. It’s ok,” Seungho said as he tried to calm Ricky down who was now quietly sobbing in his arms, “It will be fine. He’s going to let you in tomorrow when you go home. He just needed to calm down for the night.”

            “But what if he doesn’t?! I don’t want him to leave me! I should go home now and apologize,” Ricky said as he tried to pull away from Seungho but Seungho wouldn’t let him.

            “No Ricky, just stay here tonight. If you go home now he might hurt you again.”

            “He won’t! It was just an accident when he hit me and he didn’t know his own strength when he was pulling me because he was upset. He would never hurt me on purpose. Oh I’m so dumb, this was a dumb idea!” Ricky exclaimed as he pulled at his hair and Seungho could see that he was really beating himself up over this.

            “Ricky. Ricky!” Seungho exclaimed as he got on his knees in front of Ricky trying to get his attention, “You’re not dumb! What if you would’ve gone home with him and he hit you again because he’s upset? I just didn’t want to see you get hurt. I would’ve been really upset if I let you go with him and you got hurt again. So can you please stop crying?” Seungho asked as he wiped the tears off of Ricky’s face.     

            “I just don’t get why you would go through all this trouble for me.”

            “What are you talking about? Aren’t I your hyung? Of course I would do this for you. I care about you,” Seungho said as he smiled up at Ricky and ran a hand through his hair to push some hair out of his face. His words caused Ricky to smile a bit and he was happy to see a smile cross his face even if he still had tears slowly dripping out of his eyes.

            “There’s a smile. Hopefully you can smile bigger in the morning. Come, let’s get you some pajamas so we can get ready for bed, plus I’ll show you where everything is,” Seungho said as he got up and gently grabbed onto Ricky’s forearm to only cause the younger male to wince in pain.

            “Does that hurt?” he asked but Ricky shook his head no. Seungho crouched back to the floor and pulled up Ricky’s long sleeve to see a bright red bruise forming on his arm. There was even a slight outline of Himchan’s fingers on his arm.

            “Oh Ricky…”

            “It really doesn’t hurt that bad and like I said he didn’t know he was hurting me.”

            Seungho let out a sigh before getting back up and telling Ricky to follow him. “Come, let’s go put some ointment on that.”

            After Seungho put some ointment on Ricky’s bruise, he found him a pair of pajamas and offered to let him sleep in his bed while he took the couch, but Ricky insisted that he sleep on the couch. Ricky was thankful to have Seungho as a friend and for the fact that he let him spend the night at his place but he was unable to make his mind rest as he kept thinking about Himchan and what he said, until he found himself writing Seungho a note and sneaking out of his apartment to head back home.

            He quietly let himself into him and Himchan’s shared apartment, scared of waking the older male. It had only been three hours since they separated in front of the bar, but he was sure that Himchan would be sleep by now. At least that’s what he thought. Instead what he found was Himchan sitting in the dark, nursing what looked to be a bottle of soju to him.

            “H-Hyung?” he whispered out just loud enough for Himchan to hear him. Himchan turned his attention to him and scoffed before looking away.

            “Oh the decided to come home? You came back before I got a chance to change the locks,” he said taking another swig from his bottle.

            “Himchan, you’re drunk. Come let’s get you to bed,” Ricky said as he the light and walked over to Himchan to try and help him up, but Himchan pushed him away.

            “Don’t touch me! I don’t want you touching me after you were with him!”

            “Himchan we didn’t do anything! So please let me help you to bed,” Ricky said trying again.

            “And why should I believe you?! I saw the way he hugged me and that smile that was on his face when you said you would go with him,” Himchan slurred out a bit but Ricky was persistent to help him.

            “He just wanted to make sure I would be safe.”

            “And why wouldn’t you be safe with me?! What does he think I abuse you or something?! Is that what you told him that I’m abusive towards you?!” Himchan exclaimed as he stood up and Ricky took a couple of steps back from him.

            “No I didn’t tell him that! I told you that I already told him it was an accident.”

            “And why are you discussing our relationship with him anyway?! Why does some outsider know about what goes on in this house?” Himchan asked as he walked closer to Ricky backing him up against the wall. Ricky was nervous and he hated that he felt nervous because he didn’t want to be scared of Himchan.

            “He’s my friend hyung! I just talk to him about things and he guessed abo-“Ricky was cut off as Himchan wrapped a hand around his throat and started squeezing.

            “How long are you going to keep lying to me? Just tell me right now, do you want to leave me? Huh? Is that it?! Are you ing tired of me Ricky that you need to go to this guy and spend the night at his place and talk to him about our relationship?!” Himchan exclaimed as he tightened his grip a bit. Ricky was trying to get Himchan’s hand from around his neck but he couldn’t breathe and he was slowly starting to see spots in his vision.

            “What? You’re not going to say anything now?! Are you done feeding me bull now?!” Himchan said as he threw Ricky down onto the wooden floor. Ricky started coughing as he tried to fill his lungs with air and tears streamed down his face. He saw Ricky look at him but he could tell that Himchan wasn’t really looking at him but instead looking through him. His eyes were cold and glazed over.

            “I’m going to bed. You can sleep out here,” Himchan spat out as he walked into the bedroom and Ricky curled up into the fetal position as he continued to cry on the cold wooden floor. He had never been so scared in his life or felt such pain.

            That isn’t my Himchan. That isn’t the Himchan I know. Not the Himchan I fell in love with. I don’t know who that is, but I want my old Himchan back. He thought as he continued to cry and think about old times when he was actually happy with Himchan; when he actually loved Himchan.

            No…I shouldn’t think like that. I still love him. I just have to show him my love. I have to prove to him that I love him and that I’m not cheating on him and that I never will. Then he’ll go back to normal. Then we can be happy again. Yea…I can fix this. He thought and his first step would be to delete Seungho’s number. So he tiredly pulled his phone from his pocket and blocked Seungho’s number before deleting it along with all text messages, and anything else in his phone that could possibly have to do with him.

            There it’s done. I just have to do better and be better for Himchan. I can get the old us back. I’m sorry Seungho but this is for my own happiness. For Himchan and I’s happiness. 

Yay!! Update that didn't take 2 months! nope instead two weeks. Now lets hope I can keep going like this and try and update every 2-3 weeks. anyway somewhat long chapter. Also this fanfic is now officially 200K plus words...I'm so sorry its so long guys.  Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed it!

~Lolo